I am often criticized, we all are but it’s really important not to take it all so personally. I heard criticism is constructive. I criticize my sister sometimes and I know that when I do, I do it in a constructive way. There is something about me and people. I have this urge to try to help because I can see in them more than they are able or want to see. I strongly believe we are all special and we all can achieve great things and this is one of the reasons I do that, and that is why I may end up criticizing what others are doing, saying or believing. I always do it with love and I always have their best interest at heart. I am looking for ways to show them who they really are and how great they can be…

Of course, I speak for myself but not everybody has your best interest at heart when criticizing. We often get criticized by people who have no idea what we are about, people who don’t even know us but think they do. I often said that we build walls instead of bridges between us and because of that we get so distant and we wear all kind of masks so that we won’t feel vulnerable. It is easier for us to criticise, to point our finger and to judge rather than try to understand why people are doing what they’re doing. I have taught myself how to do just that, how to see beyond these masks that people might be wearing and try to see the person for who they really are and not they are trying to make us believe that are. It might sound crazy, it might sound strange but it’s something that I do consciously or unconsciously sometimes.

If you trust yourself, if your level of self esteem is high enough, you will know the difference between constructive and helpful criticism, criticism that often comes from those people who love and care about you, and useless criticism, criticism that is coming from those people who have no clue about who you are,people who have no clue who they are, people who are always telling everybody how to live their life instead on working on improving theirs…or maybe those typical drama addicts. Like the saying goes:”Don’t feed the trolls.”

I love to observe what is going on with and around me, I love to observe how people choose to react instead of responding to whatever is coming their way. If you have mastered yourself, if you can control your thoughts, if you know yourself, if you have managed to control your emotions instead of letting them control you, you will net get caught up in the every day drama that some are trying to pull you in. “You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art war.” Napoleon Bonaparte

When you are faced with criticism, you know what you can do? Ask yourself these questions:

•Is the criticism motivated primarily by love or by fear? What do you think?
•Does the person who is criticizing really know me? The real me?
•Are they really trying to help or are they only projecting their limiting beliefs and misconceptions about life on me?
•Is the criticism helpful and actionable? Do you value it?
After you do that, try to observe your behavior, your thoughts, your actions. Do you get upset, defensive or are you grateful and accept it as part of your growth process? Do you get in a debate with them, what do you do?

Before, depending on who did the criticizing, I used to got all defensive and tried to prove the other person that the things aren’t the way he/she sees them and that what they see or think they see, is not who I really am. I was trying to prove them wrong. I used to do that a lot, but you know what? After things started cooling down and the conversation loosen up a little bit, I used to reflect on it deeper and I would see things more clearly. I could see if the person was trying to be helpful and if the criticism was constructive or not and if it was, I always worked on it. I think it’s our ego that gets in the way and because we get so attached to our ideas, to who we think we are and what we believe in, we can’t stand to be wrong, criticized and so on.

I have to confess, that I personally, I am getting better and better and that is only because I promised myself I would do just that. I know that as long as we will be living we will be learning, growing and improving ourselves, our relationships, our life. If we choose to…

It is all up to us and I chose to do just that because I know, I am not only becoming better for myself but also for those around me. Because I have changed and because I am constantly changing, the whole world is changing with me. Such a precious joy.

Author's Bio: 

I am currently working toward my Business and Psychology Bachelor Degree and on writing my first book.

I have also started working on my blog where I write about ways to help people discover their purpose in life, about ways to live a happier and more meaningful life, how to boost their self esteem and self confidence and other ways to help them grow and improve their lives.

I am a writer, blogger, people builder, soul sculptor and a lover of life.