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Browse published articles attributed to Brenda Shoshanna, with full-archive search.
Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. We hope that this one is the right one, that we are not repeating mistakes of the past, and that finally we will receive the love, support and companionship we have been seeking. Although this approach to relationships is normal, ...
Freedom means different things for different men. For some, the main joy of relationships is challenge. They happily pursue a woman as long as they don't have her, but once they do, they start feeling trapped. These men feel as if excitement and new possibilities are now cut off. Once ...
(Practical Zen Steps To Falling In Love) Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D. “We never ask the meaning of lifer When we are in love.” Bhagwan Osho We are meant to live a life of love. When we’re not in love, something’s the matter. However, no matter how successful some are in ...(Practical Zen Steps To Falling In Love) Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D. “We never ask the meaning of lifer When we are in love.” Bhagwan Osho
Fear is a great factor in relationships. It confuses our mind, undermines our confidence and prevents us from making choices that would be healthy for all conce ed. A great source of fear is rejection by others. Not aware that we have rejected ourselves, we become overly hungry for the approval of others. In this state of mind we use our relationships as a way to gain the love and sense of self worth we may feel is lacking. What a danger, many then twist themselves in all kinds of ways to receive the acceptance and validation they so deeply desire.
n "Most women ultimately want their relationships to lead to marriage. They feel they need a man to make a commitment in order to feel secure. This need can scare men away, making them feel like an object, as if they’re being used for a woman's security. No man wants to feel as if ...
After a relationship ends, women ask what went wrong, again and again. In this revealing article we see that often it has nothing to do with the woman. The article explores some patterns and needs that cause men to run from relationships. It also offers specific guidelines and advice to help. Women will learn about male psychology and men will be better able to understand themselves.
"In my mind are thoughts that can hurt or help me. I am rnconstantly choosing the contents of my mind."rn --Dr. Gerald Jampolsky There are many ways of being addicted and many purposes an addiction serves. Addiction to anger is one of the most common and lethal addictions, and one most seldom recognized. Like addiction to alcohol or drugs, the addict feels good in the beginning, becomes hooked by anger and then gradually as the addiction grows, it consumes more and more of their lives, producing painful consequences.
We all hold on to that which we love, or that which we feel makes us secure. There is an innate fear of loss and change. It could even be said that our entire lives consist of a struggle to hold everything together. We want things to be stable, remain exactly as they were. When change comes each have different reactions to it. Some hold on even harder, try to stop it from happening.
We are meant to live a life of love. However, no matter how successful some are in other aspects of their lives, they wonder if it s possible to have the same success in love. Although things may start out wonderfully in the beginning, there is always the fear that it won t last, that ...
Summer arrives, a time for travel, enjoyment, being with friends and family. A time for romance and love. Of course we all want friends, companions, company, love. We need to feel close and connected. We can enjoy a friendship for many years, but then often, we drift apart or the friendship alters. Conditions change and, at times, we feel forlorn. No matter how much friendship we've had, somehow it's not enough. The needy, hungry heart goes on and on.
So many of us are searching for truth, the best way to live life. Naturally, there are endless pathways, lectures, discussions and directions available. Some go from one path to the next, seeing which one might fit them the best. It's common to spend a great deal of time, in some cases a whole life, studying texts, absorbing wisdom, discussing truth with friends for hours at a time. Nothing wrong with that. The study and discussion can become comforting and fulfilling in its own right. But it can also become a buffer from and substitute for life itself.
Mindfulness is the practice of having a calm awareness of one's feelings, thoughts and experiences in the present moment, without judging them, or yourself, as good or bad. It means living in the moment and awakening to new experiences. It is part of the Zen mind, and It is one pathway to living a life of your choosing, and to overcome any problem. The Zen Master
Today a powerful spiritual hunger is arising as many seek comfort, support and meaning in a world that has spun out of control. There are endless paths to take, yet most have little knowledge of the ways in which Jewish and Zen practice can provide guidance, joy, strength, balance, and how they ...
After a relationship ends, whether it’s a 20 year marriage or a promising romance, women ask themselves over and over, what went wrong? They ask themselves, their girlfriends and their therapists. Sometimes they even spend weeks and months...
THE CALL OF LOVE Dr. Brenda Shoshanna “Each miracle is a gentle winning over from the appeal of guilt to the appeal of love.”
Even when they are in relationships, many wish to become closer to their partners and share quality time that is truly intimate. They want to feel free to express all of themselves. Although many try in all kinds of ways, it is helpful to learn some direct steps, which open emotional doors ...
(Practical Zen Steps To Falling In Love) Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D. "We never ask the meaning of life When we are in love." Bhagwan Osho We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. However, no matter how successful some are in other ...
The family is the most common place for anger to erupt. It is also the place where the seeds of anger are sowed. When we live closely with others, when we are bonded to them, attached, dependent or vulnerable these individuals have the power to affect us deeply. In these relationships our ...
Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy and fit. There is no end to the diets, workouts and health plans. Yet the most important diet of all has been overlooked. This is a diet that releases stress, relaxes muscles, offers sound sleep, diminishes appetite, and makes you look and feel ...
Anger has turned into an epidemic in our world today. It is crucial to take a step back and realize the enormity of the danger we are facing, not only from exte al expressions of anger, but from the anger we each carry within. The time has come to face the truth about anger, learn what it truly ...
What Causes Post Traumatic Syndrome On We all feel that the world is stable and secure, that sudden change and loss will not happen, at least not to those or us we know. When the world as we know it suddenly changes and the impossible happens, not only can we experience shock and trauma, but ...
Rejection is one of the most painful experiences in relationships. As soon as a person feels their partner is rejecting them or finding fault, they quickly begin to reject their partner and reject themselves as well. In this case, their sense of self-worth is dependent on how their partner ...
Learn How It’s Impossible To Fail At LovenDr. Brenda Shoshannan Usually relationships start out wonderfully. Everyone’s thrilled. They feel that finally they’ve found the “one”. Then as time passes, as problems come up and old patterns start re-appearing, they ...
What are these empty hands? Where can we find them? What ... When Dogen, a great Zen Master of old, returned to Japan after many years of studying Zen in China, the people asked what he brought with him to help others who were suffering, he said, “I’ve come with nothing but empty hands.”
No matter what is happening around us, we do not have to react impulsively, but can learn to respond. Giving into automatic negative reactions can become addictive and it’s important to learn how to diffuse them. The steps offered here are simple, but powerful. The more we ...
The greatest gift we can give one another in a relationship is our true selves – being who we are. For some this is not difficult, but for most it takes practice to take off the masks and become real. At first it can seem frightening to stop playing games, and just be. However, much of the ...
If we look honestly at most of our lives, it is easy to see how truly difficult it is to stop ingrained behaviors and responses. It is so natural to be at the mercy of automatic, repetitive, responses. Most of our lives are lived racing from one activity to another, one relationship to the ...
When a great Zen Master returned to his country after many years of studying abroad the people asked what he brought with him. He said, “I’ve come with nothing but empty hands.” What are these empty hands? What value are they of us today? Usually our own hands are full, filled with tasks, ...
There is one sure fire medicine which cures all pain and opens the way for your greater good. It allows you to sleep well at night, wake up refreshed and filled with enthusiasm for your daily tasks. This medicine is abundantly available, has no side effects and can be taken in large or small ...
The art of romance and the art of Zen are actually very similar. By romance we mean the feeling of love, happiness, joy and delight in just waking up in the morning. We mean being able to be excited about our day, our lives and the people we meet along the way. This is usually the way we feel ...
In the midst of our lives, hungry, thirsty and often weary, nthere comes a moment when we stop and wonder, “Is this all nthere is? Is there another way to live my life that will nbring the joy and contentment that eludes me?” Caught in the patterns of our lives, each of us has an ...
In the midst of our lives, hungry, thirsty and often weary, nthere comes a moment when we stop and wonder, “Is this all nthere is? Is there another way to live my life that will nbring the joy and contentment that eludes me?” Caught in the patterns of our lives, each of us has an intuition of ...
Who are we? Where do we belong? When we step into Zen meditation and practice, a brand new answer appears. Here is an excerpt from Just Grab The Dust Rag, (Confession of A Deluded Zen Student Who Never Learned A Thing).
Most of us live our lives hungry, hungry for love, nattention, praise, success. But no matter how much we take nin, it’s hard to be satisfied and feel full. We may get what nwe need momentarily, but then before long we’re craving nmore. It is easy to spend each day waiting for tomorrow when nwe ...
So many of us are searching for truth, the best way to live life. Naturally, there are endless pathways, lectures, discussions and directions available. Some go from one path to the next, seeing which one might fit them the best. It's common to spend a great deal of time, in some cases a whole life, studying texts, absorbing wisdom, discussing truth with friends for hours at a time. Nothing wrong with that. The study and discussion can become comforting and fulfilling in its own right. But it can also become a buffer from and substitute for life itself.
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
We come into life empty-handed and then expect to grab and hold onto everything. Immediately we make claim for ownership. "This is mine. It can't go away." Some enormous hunger begins to develop. What exactly are we hungering for? First it is only food and love that we are demanding. But soon ...
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
Do you have a big problem to solve? Good. First thing, forget about it. There are certain questions which have no answers. Yet these questions are vital and alive. They grab and plague us daily. We meet a new person and the question pops up. We make a life-changing decision and the question shouts out. We take a step into the unknown and the question stops us cold. These questions may be called koans. The answers cannot be figured out. They are designed to push us beyond logic into a new way of living.