Loading the searchable article library…
Browse published articles attributed to Dr. Dennis Neder, with full-archive search.
Hey Doc! There’s a girl that I’ve been interested in and we do the whole flirting thing all the time and some of it gets a little physical. I finally worked up the courage to ask her out and when I did she said that she liked me when she first met me but she doesn’t ...
Dear Dr. Neder: I’m 23 years old and I met this guy (25) about 6 months ago and we really hit it off. He’s absolutely perfect! We got along great and started dating and things turned physical pretty quickly. I’ve decided to wait until I’m married before I’ll have sex but we made out and ...
Dear Dr. Dennis: I’m hearing a lot about “nice guys” who consider traveling to other countries to meet foreign woman because they feel unappreciated by American women who tend to be more fascinated by “bad boys”, wealthy guys, etc.
Doc: I met a girl that has been hurt by a lot of guys in her past and I asked her out but I got turned down because she said she wanted to face her studies squarely. She came back home on Christmas break and I asked her again and we were so close to getting together, but then, she found out I ...
Even a broken watch is right twice a day, and yes, many people DO get their ex's back. The real question you should be asking however is "should you?" Nature plays this glorious trick on each of us. When we break up with someone, we're angry and hurt, we feel loss and helplessness. We have a flood of negative emotions. However, over time, we forget all of that pain and only remember the good, happy times. This is the most dangerous thing there is in rekindling any relationship!
Hey Doc! I just want to say thanks for helping to transform me into a better man tha I was! Growing up, I had a dad that was often not available due to work. He and my mother would frequently get into fights with him screaming and yelling (he never hit my mother however) but my limited time with my dad up until high school feminized me a bit. I always got to hear moms side of the story, and started looking at everything from her point of view – highly feminized.
During the very first or second date with a new woman, I like to ask a simple question: “What do you bring to the table?” I love that question! I also love hearing it from someone I just met. Some people take offense to it assuming I should “just know” and “how dare I not know!” That’s ridiculous as you’ll soon learn. The problem comes down to a fundamental issue in dating held over from when your grandparents started dating. Let me explain: Dating in the Time of Polio and Smallpox
Dear Dr. Neder: I am an African female who has very short hair and for these reasons, I feel that men are intimidated by me. I am 5'0 feet tall and very petite with a voluptuous body. Aside from my looks however, my speaking abilities are very polished and I also major in Math and Computer ...
Hi I recently came across your article on “sabotaging relationships” through an Internet search and I really found it helpful. I’m writing to you because of my current situation. I am 31 years old and have grown up in a very religious community. Everything is judged superficially; family, ...
I'm a 19 year old guy studying at college in the UK and there is a girl who I've seen around, mainly in the library. I would like to approach her but have no clue what to say and I'm afraid she might laugh at me for trying to speak to her. I have no confidence and I'm afraid the girl has noticed my interest because she's caught me looking a few times. How do I approach her and what do I say? ====================== Hello! First of all, this girl isn't going to laugh at you for talking to her. That's just your own fears getting in the way.
Your mother told you “always tell the truth”. When you testify in court, you are sworn to tell only the truth. Your partner expects total and complete honesty. Here’s the problem: you’re a liar. I know this without even knowing you. The fact, hard and cold as it may be, is that we are all liars. Everyone (and I do mean everyone!) lies. You do. I do. Your significant other does. Your parents do. Your politicians do. Your pastor does and even (according to recent studies) your pets do! On the flip side however, nobody wants to believe that they are liars themselves.
Hi Doc! A few days ago I asked you about playing hard to get and you told me to read your article on your website "Dumb Games, and the Girls That Play Them". In it you said it’s a terrible idea, but I have experienced that when we get things easily we lose interest. That’s a fact right? So what is your opinion on this? Oh, and how do I keep men’s interest if I don’t play hard to get? Thanks! =================== Hello! No, it's not a fact. It's a nice sound-bite, but nothing more.
Hi Doc! My girlfriend and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. I’m 22 and we have been dating 3 years - on and off for 5. She broke up with me because of the way I was treating her, I was being a pretty bad boyfriend. So, after 5 weeks we had a talk and she was willing to open her heart for me to come ...
Hi Dr. Neder, I met a girl (21yrs old) a little while ago, and have been going go out with her for 2 months. I now sense that she was on the rebound from another relationship; emotionally hurt and confused, but she does not make it clear to me that she is. This is affecting my relationship ...
Hello Dr. Dennis! My girlfriend (2 years of a wonderful relationship) and I have been talking about an “open relationship” where we both could find other sex partners but stay together as a couple. We’re both enthusiastic about it but I wanted to get your take. Is this a good idea? Will it ruin our relationship? Thanks! ------------------------------ Hello! Yes, I have a lot to say about open relationships. They can be extremely good or extremely bad – I find very little in between! There are reasons for that I’ll get into in a moment.
Hin I was wondering if you could give me some feedback on this situatio I find myself in. I’m a 30 year old guy with 2 children, both under 10. I have been with my wife twelve years. She cheated on me when we first got together (I was 19) with an ex-boyfriend. We already had a 1-year-old ...
Dear Doc: I am 20 and the longest I have been in a relationship is 10 months, but I have noticed a pattern in all of the girls I have dated. When I first meet them, they seem to be head over heels for me, they seem to love my charm, since of humor and look and things go okay for about a month ...
I’ve always loved summer. I love the hot weather, the parties, all the skin… One of the things I love most about summer is the “summer fling”; you know, that chance to hook up with someone to go enjoy the season – and sex – with you? It might be just a week (like when you’re on vacation) or a number of months. There is an understanding – even if not spoken – that this isn’t going to be a long-term commitment (certainly not like your wireless provider!) and something about that motivates you to extract out the most joy and passion you can in that short period of time.
Hey Dr. Neder! I've been reading through some of your answers and one common piece of advice you give women is to not play stupid games. Girls do it all the time and 9 times out of 10, it completely screws everything up for them and she ends up not getting what she wants out of the ...
So, what’s it going to be this year? Crowded, noisy restaurant with lousy service? The usually dozen red roses? Jewelry? Card? A lot of whimpering and crying? Here’s the problem with Valentine’s Day: It has become the lousiest “Hallmark Holiday” on the calendar. It’s supposed to be a day to express love and appreciation for your partner (or partners?) Instead it has become a day where women expect huge, meaningful messages and often wind up either disappointed or angry because the expression wasn’t “just right”.
Hi Doc, I've liked this girl for between 3-4 months. Initially when I got to know her, she was really nice and we were really close. We used to message and talk almost every day. For example, there was once when she went overseas and I told her I would miss her. She said “awww…” and that I would probably be too occupied to miss her. She also said she would catch up with me when she came back and guess what? She did. However, this lasted only for a month. We were not as close anymore. She kept her limits with me.
Hey Dr. Dennis! I get this a lot - I get a phone number from a girl, call, try and set a date and the chick says something like, "Yeah Thursday sounds good. I may have a girlfriend coming into town so let's play it by ear. Give me a call Thursday." Basically, it's her way of saying... "Maybe, ...
Hi Doc! Here is my situation: I am dating a guy who I am in love with. We started seeing each other in November 2008 but in February he told me we should break it off because he's not ready for anything serious as he is going through a divorce. He said he needs time to find himself. After that ...
Dear Dennis: I wonder about this from time to time, but I figure that I need an answer from an insightful man in order to get a truthful answer on this: Do men respect women in general? Do men pity women in general, because of our vulnerabilities? Or do men have a certain "hard-to-explain" ...
Maybe you’d be surprised at the number of letter I get from women that begin, “I recently met this really cute guy…” and end with “How do I get him to ask me out?” And then again, maybe you wouldn’t; particularly if you’re a woman. It seems that today’s man is all but devoid of basic manly ...
Have you been having trouble moving on after breaking up with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend? This can be very difficult to do! I’m going to show you an incredibly powerful technique to help you get healed quickly and permanently and to move on so that you can find that next great love and ...
Ok Dr., here is the background for this question: -She and I are both in our early 20s.rn-We went to high school together.rn-We didn’t know each other well in high school, but were acquaintances with mutual friends.rn-I started talking to her about two months ago on a whim.rn-She lives far away now but makes frequent trips back here.rn-Keep in mind I have not seen her in person for 3 years -I am NOT LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP, JUST a quick thing.rn-She came back once recently and we didn’t meet up, but she is coming back next month.
Dear Dr. Neder, How come in the old days women were considered sluts and freaks if they enjoyed having sex or watching porn? How come the girl had to stay a virgin until marriage but no one cared about the guy? Is it because men needed to know their wife was pregnant with their baby and no one ...
Doc, you gotta help me! I’m a 19 year old male, single and I haven't dated much. I’ve only been in one relationship and am now looking for a woman to be with and I just don't know where to look or even how to approach someone. My female cousins say to go to the movies, the mall, etc. but that doesn’t tell me how to find someone, approach them and ask them for a date! Where do I go from here? ==================== Hello! Let's start here: learning to find and approach women isn't some magic trick. It's just a skill like any other skill you learn.
Hello – This is questions requires some background information. My ex-boyfriend and I just broke up about a month ago after a two-year relationship because he got into medical school 7 hours from home, and I can’t move because I had accepted a really great job. We decided that long distance ...
Hi! I was wondering if you have to have stuff in common with the person you're dating? I was told that it doesn't matter how different you are, as long as you're happy when you're with the other person. I'm 18 and I recently dated a guy who only cared about finding stuff we have in common. We got along really well and I really liked him, but he didn't do anything except ask me what my interests are and what my hobbies are.
Dr. Neder, I've been dating a man for almost 3 months now. I've very much been the short-lived relationship kind of gal in the past. Typically at 3 months, I'll find some reason to end the relationship. Whether it's not feeling a physical connection, or not feeling an emotional connection, or, ...
Hi there, I'm 18 years old and I can't seem to get any friendly advice from anyone about this girl I like so maybe you can help me out! I met a girl over at the local community college this past week, and I can already tell that I'm developing a major crush on her! She is absolutely beautiful! ...
Dear Dennis, I met this incredible guy 6 months ago. He and I have much in common; we both work two jobs and I have two small children. Needless to say, our time is limited. We have not had sex yet because, (mostly by his request), we wanted to really get to know each other first instead of ...
How do I attract a woman for a relationship? During high school I tried to ask out 5 different girls over 5 years. I thought I was in love with each of them and told them this, but was turned down each time with a corresponding blow to my self-confidence. I finally just gave up on finding a ...
Dear Dr. Neder, I read your answer on 'Trust' on the Internet and I hope you can help me. I am engaged to be married this December. The problem is I feel that my fiancé is not emotionally available to me during love making. I know she has been emotionally hurt by her past boyfriend seven ...
Hi Dennis, A month ago I met an amazing man; handsome, in-shape, caring, respectful, educated, and with a thriving career. I love spending time with him, and get butterflies in my stomach whenever I think about him. My main problem is that he is 9 years older than me. I know this may not seem ...
Hey Doc: I was going out with this 24-year-old girl for about 3 months. We enjoyed our time together but she fell for me pretty hard. Since it was only 3 months, I believe that her feelings were mostly infatuation, but I'm not sure now. I panicked and broke up with her because I don't think ...
Hey Dennis! I read one of your replies to a question and thought your response was excellent. Could you please could you help with this one? I was in a relationship with my ex for just over a year, when we first started dating. I was finding it very hard to get her out on dates. She is a very ...
Hey Doc! I met this girl a couple of months ago and we started to hang out. At first she said she only wanted to be friends when I made a move so I just blew it off but she continued to call me all the time wanting to see me. One night we went out, and she kept on flirting with me and getting ...
Dr. Neder, Hi, I am very interested in your help on this. I met my girlfriend freshman year in high school for the first time. We are currently in our junior year of high school and we have been going out for almost four months. We talk about how we will always be together and how we are ...
Hello Dennis, You have always been very helpful to me in the past and I was wondering if you could help me out with this situatio I've encountered. My girlfriend smoked cigarettes for over 10 years but stopped. When we started dating I made it clear that I cannot date a smoker as I find the ...
Hey Doc: About a year ago, I was unemployed, and my girlfriend's mother told her that if I didn't get a job, that she wouldn't allow her to see me anymore. She then called and told me this. Right then and there I made a terrible decision – I lied. I lied telling her that I had just gotten a ...
Hello Dr. Neder: This last weekend, I bumped into an old friend that happens to be friends with my ex. She was with another friend with whom I hit it off really well. We all decided to go hang out for a while. She and I flirted quite a bit and we spent the entire evening together. She and I ...
Hi Dennis, I am a college sophomore and diabetic and I'm in a relationship with a freshman. I am a virgin but my girlfriend is not. I've told her that I'm not bothered by what happened in her past. We've tried to have sex on two occasions. The first time I was extremely drunk and we both ...
Hi Dr. Neder! I am 18 years old and just about to graduate high school. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 14 months now and I am not sure what to do after high school. My parents are going to provide us with an apartment but should I move in with her? I was reading your 10 ways ...
Doc: I met a young lady on a matrimonial website and we hit it off very well. She had a prior relationship 3 years ago that she ended and admits to feeling guilty about as she sorta "strung the guy along" and did not verbalize her conce s regarding their relationship that she felt wasn't ...
I have a problem with my boyfriend of 7 months - I want sex more than he does. We have sex about 2 or 3 times a week, but I want it more. I’m told a lot that I’m very attractive and I've never had this problem with other men. At first he was very eager, but then it faded. I often ...
Hey Doc! I've noticed a trend in my dating life that is really starting to piss me off. It's rare for me to make plans with a girl and to not have her try to cancel on me or suddenly be "too busy" to keep our date. I'm so tired of games like that. Are they trying to see how much I want them or ...
Dr. Neder, My fiancé decided it was best to end our two year relationship about a month and a half ago. In this time I have realized why she did it and that she meant more to me tha I ever knew. I made a lot of mistakes that I didn't see until now. I talked to her about a month ago and ...