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Browse published articles attributed to Dr. LeslieBeth (LB) Wish, with full-archive search.
Losing your home for any reason is heart-wrenching. Many families describe the feeling as “the rug being pulled out from under you” or “losing your moorings.” Money issues are one of the top sources of stress for families these days, and the number of families who have ...
Have a relationship question and want Dr. Wish's advice? Email her a question, here. Your query may become an article! Q: My husband is always picking on me in public. How can I get him to stop?
Q: Should I remarry my ex? A: We all like second chances in life. Rarely do we get them. Remarrying your ex is one of the few opportunities for a "do-over." There are no divorce statistics for people who re-marry their ex. However, the divorce rate for all second marriages is about sixty percent. Oops-not very good odds. But remarrying your ex does not have to end in the chaos of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. Here are some tips from my clients who have succeeded in remarrying their ex.
Q: I'm dating the person with whom I cheated. How can I learn to trust him? A: There is some truth that those who cheated on their partner are more likely to cheat again in a new relationship. Cheaters, after all, have crossed one of those major relationship boundaries-fidelity. And cheaters chose to solve their personal and relationship problems by seeking others or by allowing their emotional needs to override their ethics and commitment.
Your divorce is final, and you are glad, sad, excited and scared all at the same time. You love your nights to yourself — for a while — and then you wonder if you can ever be optimistic about finding love again. The good news is that this roller coaster of feelings and doubt is normal. And the even better news is that a healthy, intimate relationship is possible. But before you start searching dating websites or asking your friends to introduce you to date-worthy men…
n *Sylvia’s husband had a rule: If you can’t be home right after work, you had to call. When she rushed a co-worker to the hospital, in the confusion, Sylvia called about thirty minutes after she was due home. When she did phone home, he ...
When Laurel’s boss overlooked her for a promotion, she was stunned. She had received high praise for her market analyses and team cooperation and was sure she’d be selected for a major project. Tip #1: Get Feedback Rather than wallow in disappointment, Laurel sought from her boss ...
Introductionr Few of us are immune to holiday stress. It doesn’t help that Thanksgiving and Christmas are so close together. For many people, it’s like getting a second-wham of anxiety and disappointment before you recover from the first one at Thanksgiving.
Do these scenarios sound familiar? * Your in-laws are cold to you. * Your husband or partner can't stand up to his mother or father. * When it comes to the holidays, it's your in-laws' way-or the highway. * Your in-laws are critical and judgmental of you. * Your in-laws don't abide by the rules or guidelines you set for your children.
***Tips for Recovering from Being Suddenly Single*** Women, Loss, Grief and Loneliness: If I’m so great, how come it hurts so much to be alone?n ...
How to Avoid Wedding Stress and Be a Smart Bride: Over-the-Top Wedding Plans Can Reveal Bottom-of-the-Barrel Feelings Weddings and the accompanying engagement parties and showers can get stressful and out of hand for many reasons. Here are the top reasons why planning weddings may not be as ...
Most of us want to feel chosen, connected and cared for. Unfortunately, it's easy to be fooled into thinking you are falling in love, and one of the sure ways to cloud your judgment about your new partner is having sex too soon. Here are the top reasons how a hasty decision to have sex endangers your relationship health.
Q: My boyfriend won't propose even though we've been dating for years. Should I take the initiative? A: Let me just get it over with-I do not recommend that women propose marriage. I'll explain why a few paragraphs later, but first, here is the experience that sparked my deeper thinking about marriage proposals.
If you're like myself and many of my clients, you find forgiveness a difficult prospect. Big questions such as "When is it too late to ask for an apology?", "Is forgiveness necessary for personal and spiritual growth?", and "Should someone apologize for being truthful?" complicate the process.
Q: How can I turn around my sexless marriage? A: Why would some couples remain celibate? Isn't sex supposed to be part of the pleasures of love and marriage? Yet, approximately 10-15% of marriages may experience long stretches of time without sex. A smaller number of couples never consummate the marriage. Most of us assume that sex is a very important part of being a couple. It forms one of the building blocks of lasting love. The other building blocks include shared values and interests, and commitment.
Have a relationship question and want Dr. Wish's advice? Email her a question, here. Your query may become an article! Q: Every year I drop my New Year's resolutions by February. What can I do to keep them? A: Unfortunately, for many of us, by Valentine's Day your New Year's resolutions feel long forgotten. Let's face it-it's too hard to keep them. But don't get down on yourself if your efforts to change and be better have dwindled to practically zero.
Q: My partner's become withdrawn since being diagnosed with a serious illness. What should I do?
In a column about relationships, it's easy to overlook that the number one person you must always relate to is yourself. Yet, sometimes, when circumstances make us veer off our usual course, we get irritable, pessimistic and just plain old down in the dumps. Here are some tips to help you strengthen your positive coping skills, gain a perspective, a sense of control and feel better.
We expect to outlive our parents, but we still struggle with grief. Take this quiz to learn about dealing with the loss of a parent. Put an “x” next to one answer for each question. 1. Losing a parent suddenly is worse than ...
Divorce and death of a husband is a top life stressor. Learn about this grief from the following quiz. Choose one answer that best describes your belief. 1. Jennifer and her husband divorced after one year. Five months later, Jennifer has gone out on three casual dates. n___A. She was only ...
Q: It's Valentine's Day, and I'm single and miserable. Is there anyway I can turn it around?
Tip Sheet Introductio Observe first—rather than act Confide in a colleague as a last resort Confront the difficult person as another last resort Make the colleague or boss look good—by being indispensable Don’t personalize--maybe Introductio Almost anyone who works has run ...
Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D, MSS at www.lovevictory.com Reasons Why Getting Along with siblings is So Crucial The Most Common Problems of Having Siblings-in-laws What Can You Do if You Have Siblings-in-law Problems? Why are the siblings so important in approving your choice of mate? It’s ...
<img border="0" src="http://www.lovevictory.com/uploadimages/34ThanksgivingHolidayStressWEBTMR.jpg" width="488" height="199"> Holidays for many people can mean being alone and feeling lonely--or being with family members who cause you stress and also make you feel lonely! It seems you can't escape the holiday blues. But you can! Here are some tips.
Tip Sheet Introductio Recognize personal stress triggers and symptoms Re-train the brai Get solution-oriented Develop a buddy system Minimize self-blame Be realistic in expectations for change Introductio No one can avoid stress. In fact, it’s a necessary part of life. Stress ...
<img border="0" src="http://www.lovevictory.com/uploadimages/35MeetingSantaWEBTMR.jpg"> Wouldn't it be great if you could instantly read men? So far, there isn't any super-power for that. And wouldn't it be great if there were Santa Claus men who are bigger than life--and who can satisfy your every whim and need. Uh-oh, it might seem that there are enough of these kinds of men, but be careful what you wish for. Here are some tips about reading men so that you don't mistake gift-givers from gift-takers.
Q: How do I "fall in love using my head and not my heart?" A: Most of today's grandparents heard the love lesson "use your head not your heart" long before they looked with interest at the opposite sex. But just what do these words mean--and how do you apply it to your love life? Consider the following stories.
Have you ever thought that you found The One—only to realize later after much heartache that the person was The Wrong One?
Can a man and woman manage not to mix together eventually? The answer is "Yo and Nes"—each word, as you can see, is a combination of Yes and No. So, how can you tell if your friendship is going to remain a friendship or turn into something more? In the movie When Harry Met Sally, Harry makes it clear that platonic friendships are essentially self-lies where the man at least wants to have sex with the woman. Is that always true?
New Years Resolutions that Work Introductio It’s holiday time of year again when thoughts turn to shopping, giving, partying and—yes—making New Years’ resolutions. Even if a person doesn’t want to make them, reminders about resolutions are on the Internet, talk ...
When The Soldier Doesn’t Return: The Needs of American Families of Downed Warriors In Iraq Note: All names have been changed to protect confidentiality. By LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D, MSS,MA Reprinted with author's permission from www.helpstartshere.org Introduction Sally had been a ...
Divorce is a difficult enough experience, and when children are involved, most divorcing parents have to set aside their marital feelings and work together to co-raise children responsibly. The goal is not to have children survive divorce but to thrive. However, many ...
Instant Relief from Grief: Tip Sheet Introductio Give Back Stay Connected Cry and Yell Get Inspired Get Help Introductio Grieving is one of life’s most unpleasant events. Like falling in love, experiencing grief can make you feel as though you are going a little crazy—except ...
Have a relationship question and want Dr. Wish's advice? Email her a question, here. Your query may become an article! Happy marriages and long-term relationships are not happy every day. John Gottman, a pioneer in marital research, discovered that even in mutually satisfying marriages, couples said they went through bad patches--and years! Yet, these same couples said they were glad they "toughed it out" and would choose their partner as their mate all over again.
We tend to give our partners more than second chances—even when they have betrayed, disappointed or hurt us physically or emotionally. It's as though we'll do almost anything to defend against rocking the boat, and being alone or wrong about our love choices.
Q: How long should I wait before dating again after my divorce? A: Most of us have heard this advice about looking for love after you've just ended a marriage or intimate partnership: "Don't jump from the frying pan into the fire." In other words, to avoid re-bound love, take time off from dating and mating. The big unanswered questions are: How much time do I take off? And what am I supposed to do with my time if I'm not dating?
It’s difficult enough to meet someone who seems like a good love match. But then, over time, things happen between you and your partner that make you wonder: “Is this the right person for me?” It seems as though it should be such an easy question to answer. But once you fall in love, your head and heart can conspire to make you minimize your unhappiness. As the saying goes, love really can make you blind.
I'm sure many of you have wondered why a man didn't call back — or call you at all after you had what you thought was a wonderful conversation. It's very confusing. Doubts swirl through your mind such as: was I too quiet or too opinionated? Did I talk about my ex too much? I wish I had a magic answer or a sure-fire way to know a man's heart. After all, some men like agreeable women, while other men like women who challenge them.
No matter how seasoned and successful you are, you still may experience disappointments and setbacks. Here are tips to empower you. Read this several times: No one is immune from experiencing career setbacks, disappointments and regrets and making mistakes big and small. Setbacks come in many forms for all of us. See if these situations sound like you. I've added possible solutions for each item.
Have a relationship question and want Dr. Wish's advice? Email her a question, here. Your query may become an article! Q: My ailing mom has come to live with me, and it's taking a toll on my marriage. How can I find a balance? A: Medical advancements have allowed us to live longer but not always better. Just ask families who are caregivers to ailing parents or partners. Even if the job is an act of love, the responsibility erodes energy, patience and good will.
Have a relationship question and want Dr. Wish's advice? Email her a question, here. Your query may become an article! Q: I'm about to meet my partner's parents. How can I make a good impression?
<img border="0" src="http://www.lovevictory.com/uploadimages/CookieandJoeat-RockConcertWebTMR.jpg"> Activities that excite us make us feel good about life, love and ourselves. We are all pleasure-seekers, and there are endless things that can make us feel re-vitalized. We like to be carried away.
Q: Do I empathize too much? A: Most of us have been taught to feel sorry for people who are less fortunate than we are and to forgive people when they make mistakes. Charity and civilization rely on empathy. Yet, as many of my clients have shown me, there is such a thing as too much empathy. Read these brief scenarios.
Q: Why do I end up with such "basket cases" for partners? A: Basket cases--a great description of someone whose behavior prompts you to give too much of your time and energy to help, calm, or "fix" them. If you are exhausted and exasperated from feeling that you always have to pick up the slack or do damage repair for your partner, you might be trying to help in unproductive ways.
Q: My partner and I recently separated. What's the best way to use this time? A: Instead of going directly to divorce, some couples decide to separate for a while. This approach definitely has its merits. It prevents you from acting hastily about the relationship and gives you a chance to manage loneliness, time, and decisions.
Well, you got through your divorce, settled in to your new life as best you can, and now you are in your first important, post-divorce intimate relationship. You're excited and relieved — yet also wary. You wonder if this new relationship is a go? Your doubts are not unfounded. After all, 67% of second marriages fail and 73% of third marriages fail as well. But, as I mentioned in my first article in this series, these statistics are for lots of women in general and in all different kinds of circumstances that might not apply to you.
Most of us want to feel chosen, connected and cared for. Unfortunately, it's easy to be fooled into thinking you are falling in love, and one of the sure ways to cloud your judgment about your new partner is having sex too soon. Here are the top reasons how a hasty decision to have sex endangers your relationship health.
First dates are both exhilarating and a bit frightening. And sometimes it's hard to know the difference between these two feelings. No wonder — these emotions arouse virtually the same areas in the brain. Even more confusing, when you feel anxious, you often don't think clearly. California educator Judy Willis discovered that stress prompts the brain's amygdala, which regulates emotions, to function in overdrive.
Here are some thoughts that might surprise you. There is not necessarily a type of person who cheats. Even nice people can be cheaters—and this concept can cloud your ability to see the signs that your partner is a cheater.
Q: I've already broken my New Year's resolution. How can I successfully better myself? A: Unfortunately, it's true that by February many of us are on a downward slide of breaking our New Year's resolutions. You've probably given it a good try, but old habits are hard to break. Since you most likely resolved to do-or not do-something important, your frustration soon increases. Now you have to face not only the return of bad behavior but also disappointment in yourself. But don't give up. There are other steps you can take to start the New Year in a smart direction.