Browse published articles attributed to Elsabe Smit, with full-archive search.
Have you ever had one of those experiences where you ask yourself ”Why have things gone so wrong for me? What have I done to deserve this?” I have had many of them over the years. When I was still a church goer, the standard sanctimonious answer was “Just suffer through it.
Why is it that we hold on to relationships long past their natural end? Think of a friendship that no longer exists. Do you still remember how your friend insulted or deserted you? You gained new friends, but you still feel that hurt. Remember that supervisor who made your life such hell that you left to get a new job? You smile every time you think what a sad sod that supervisor is, and how much better off you are now. Or you still resent the opportunity that you missed as a result of that person, even though you gained much more from the new job than from the old one.
I recently wrote an article in which I explained that any relationship has a natural duration, after which it ends – unless the people in the relationship hold on to the relationship for dear life. This raised a question about marriage vows.
Yes, I do. Throughout my life I have had to deal with bullies. Some of my first memories are of my mother mistreating me physically and emotionally. I encountered numerous bullies as colleagues, and too many of them used me for target practice. I also married a man who nearly destroyed me emotionally, and I had other relationships and friendships that did nothing for my self-esteem. The treatment I had from my mother led me to much introspection. I just could not understand why she disliked me so much.
What do you do when you let your heart run free, knowing even as it happens that you have made the worst possible decision? We often hear about celebrities that get married on a whim, and within a matter of days, or sometimes weeks, they head for the divorce court. They have the courage to ...What do you do when you let your heart run free, knowing even as it happens that you have made the worst possible decision? We often hear about celebrities that get married on a whim, and within a matter of days, or sometimes weeks, they head for the divorce court.
Should murderers and rapists be shown mercy? Should people who commit lesser sins or crimes be shown mercy? Or should people simply be punished for their crimes and be kept away from the victims? We often read in the media about victims of crime or their families that refuse to even think about forgiving the criminals. When a Scottish backpacker was murdered, a relative was quoted as saying that “she will never succumb to pressure to forgive the killer”.
This is a quote from the Wall Street journal in September 2009: “A recent study reported that 52% of working French don’t sleep well on Sunday night. But work-related stress is not a French disease, and is ubiquitous and severe in all developed economies. In the U.K. and U.S.
I can feel just this heading is enough cause for me to duck some eggs, oranges and other missiles, but your actions would be uninformed, so let’s have a truce while I state my case. A woman was recently sentenced to ten months in prison, suspended for two years, for “marrying” four men while she was still married to her first husband. She was cautioned by police for two of these illegal marriages, and spent six months in prison for one of them. Despite all this, she went ahead and “married” a fifth man who discovered his place in the pecking order while they were on honeymoon.
I recently shared a meal with some acquaintances. The conversation turned to how relationships start. Someone explained, to much laughter from the group, how she tried everything to get away, but eventually realised that someone was Mr Right and perfect for her. That moment changed her ...I recently shared a meal with some acquaintances. The conversation turned to how relationships start. Someone explained, to much laughter from the group, how she tried everything to get away, but eventually realised that someone was Mr Right and perfect for her. That moment changed her life.
Step 1: Breathe deeply and relax. Count your blessings. Step 2: Do not take it personally, but take it very personally. Step 3: Celebrate the next cycle of your life I can hear you saying “There are bills to be paid. There is an ego that needs massaging. How will I cope until I can find ...
There are few life events that are as life-shattering as suddenly becoming widowed – especially if you are not yet at the right age (whatever that may be) to become widowed. Dealing with the practical arrangements of a funeral or cremation and the paperwork related to the estate are often the ...
Are you living an authentic life? How would you know where to find the answer to this question? Frank Joseph said “Following a vocation, that inner call, is not self-indulgence or an excuse for laziness. Doing what one really wants to do is hard work, but it is self-fulfilling as nothing else can be. It is the ultimate key to personal happiness in the physical world.” These words have given me much comfort at a time when my career and life have fused in a direction which I least anticipated.
Justice or mercy? The more emotional the issue, the more divided the opinions. We often encounter issues that tempt us to decide: should we insist on justice, knowing that justice always have consequences? Should we show mercy and always try and understand the other side of the coin? Or should public opinion be the determining factor? In the past weeks a number of these emotional issues have been in the headlines. In May Burma's military regime jailed and charged the pro-democracy opposition leader, Aung San Suu Kyi, because a man swam across a lake to her house.
Imagine this: It is the year 1492. You are Christopher Columbus and you have just discovered that when you stand on the beach, you can see waves, but when you stand on a cliff you can see the ocean but no waves. Did the waves disappear? No, of course not. You simply changed your vantage ...
I come from a family of special souls. We are as different as chalk and cheese. The chalks have beautiful colours. The cheeses have a wide range of textures tastes. Together, we make an interesting, tasty and useful combination.
I am always fascinated about how our questions get answered - and sometimes how we are steered in a direction without even asking the question. Someone very dear and close to me is at a point where he has no dignity or quality of life left. He had told me in so many words that he is not afraid of dying. Yet he is still holding on to life while his mind and body are shutting down at an alarming rate.
"I want to leave my marriage. Will my husband allow me access to the children when I leave him?" This is a challenging situation because it goes against the norm. People would expect a woman to leave her marriage and by default take the children with her. However, let us not look for right or wrong and be the judge of a situation that we are not part of.
Here is an interesting piece of information: I looked up the meaning of the word “job” in the dictionary. The meanings included “task, chore, difficulty, problem, trouble, hard time”. This reminded me of a biblical figure called Job, whose name means “persecuted, afflicted, adversity”. Is there some message in there? I wonder. Have you been made redundant recently? It is interesting how such an experience impacts not only on you, but also on your colleagues who are not made redundant. I have been made redundant three times in my career.
Have you ever been in a position where you made a decision because you felt at the time that you had to, even though your mind was woolly and the world was unreal? I am sure you lived to not only regret that decision, but also to ask yourself “What had gotten into me when I decided that?” And it is possible that at the time you were recently traumatised, for example being widowed, walking away from a very destructive relationship, being forced to leave a job, and so on. Such experiences often uproot our entire existence, and turn our world upside down.
It is always interesting to see how people respond to death. The reaction is often so predictable, even though people that lose a loved one believe that the experience is so unique that nobody will understand them. Of course the latest example is the passing of Michael Jackson. The first, very predictable response was denial. When the news broke, over sixteen million people did not believe what they had heard and turned to the internet to get the right facts and confirmation.
By now we all know the Secret: decide what you want, and believe that it will come your way. The more you believe, the quicker it comes your way. Right? Then why does it not work? Why are we not all very rich and healthy and happy by now? There are a few other factors that we need to be aware of when we want to apply the Secret. The first factor is our own resistance against anything new. You say you don’t resist anything new? OK, let’s try this. Let me tell you that I have discovered the cure for all cancers.
Those of you that are familiar with the pet rock craze of the 1970’s will probably need glasses to read this article. At the time an advertising executive named Gary Dahl bought ordinary gray stones at a builders’ supply store and marketed them as real pets, complete with a manual on how to ...
Did you know that there is an ant colony that lives on three continents? Seriously. There is a colony of Argentine ants that has spread to Europe and Japan, of course with some help from people. One colony spreads over 6 000 km (3 700 miles) along the Mediterranean coast. The second one extends over 900 km (560 miles) in Califo ia in the US. The third colony is in Japan. Researchers discovered that these ant colonies share a very similar of hydrocarbons in their cuticles, and they are in fact members of the same colony. Here is the interesting part.
There are times when I feel like laughing about the growing religious intolerance in the UK, but this is too serious a matter to laugh about. If you think that there is no religious intolerance in this part of the world, just read the newspapers. The latest incident is about a Muslim woman who ...
How many things do you believe because someone else tells you that it is true? Let me give you an example. When you are a child, you trust people and do not question what your parents tell you. As you gain life experience, your parents are there to guide you and teach you how to interpret your experiences. What do your parents base their teachings on?
In 1963, Ronnie Biggs was one of a gang that stole millions of pounds from a mail train betwee Glasgow and London. He was caught and sentenced to prison. A year into his prison service, he escaped and fled to France where he underwent plastic surgery. From there he fled to Australia where his family joined him. They lived there for about three years. During that time he received an anonymous letter indicating that Interpol was on his trail, and he moved with his family from Adelaide to Melbou e.
The Universe is about balance. People and this world are about division and separation. The news media show us the beautiful dance of separation on a daily basis. For example, president Obama shows off his excellent eye-hand coordination by swatting a fly while being interviewed on television. The world is in awe of a president that can kill flies with his own hands – what was that again about small things amuse small minds? PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) are upset because a fly was killed publicly by a prominent person who thinks he is Buddha.
Sometimes I am astonished at the information that has been available to us for years and years, and how we have to first struggle with our lives before we find the information and things suddenly fall into place . . . I have been wondering for a very long time about giving people clairvoyant ...
I was listening to the news on the radio recently and again realised how the media is used for mass hypnosis. The broadcaster announced quite convincingly that “the economy has shrunk with another 1.9%” and then went on to embroider on the consequences of this. I have often wondered about the ...
I recently read a very interesting book The Bookseller of Kabul written by Ãsne Seierstad. The book provides a snapshot of an Afghan family and their daily lives. From a Western point of view the patriarchal society and the oppression of both women and men is probably shocking, but for those ...
Life is a rollercoaster at the best of times. When times are good, we feel the elation and fun of being here, and we want to share our joy with the world. When times are bad, either we do not want to face anyone, or nobody wants to face our misery. Where do we find our solace and peace during ...
So South Africa is getting a new president, and it is probably the man that half of the country wants, while the other half of the country does not want him. The criticism of this man has been as loud as the support for him. And both the support and the criticism ensured that enough energy was ...
The internet is an amazing tool for breaking down artificial boundaries such as time and space. Instant communication with a person on the other side of the world is a marvel that has brought home to us how small the world really is and how irrelevant time is in the greater scheme of things. ...
There was a time when meditation or no meditation was a serious question for me. I come from a Protestant background where in my view (which is admittedly biased) prayer was a practice of reciting important-sounding words. I struggled for years with the concept of prayer. It did not make ...