Loading the searchable article library…
Browse published articles attributed to Erin Kurt, with full-archive search.
The one thing working moms have in common is that they’re busy ladies with a lot on their plate. The second thing they have in common is that they feel guilty a lot of the time. One of the main sources of that guilt comes from the feeling that they don’t have time to spend quality moments with their children; “life is just a race” moms tell me.
Last week I talked about who and what a bully is. In that article we discovered that there are NO stereotypes when it comes to a bully; they can BE anybody and LOOK like anybody. We also differentiated the difference between bullying and two people fighting or having an argument. This week I’m going to discuss why kids bully. With this knowledge we can change things around, both for the bully and the child being bullied. The biggest misconception about bullying is that it’s about anger. Anger is always a bigger emotion that is covering up a hidden emotion.
Spring Break is here and the kids are off. Many parents begin to panic at how they will fill their child’s time. So, they source out a bunch of outings they can take their kids on. Ah...Now the only down time they’ll have to manage is from dinner till bedtime. “Keep them busy!” is everyone’s motto.
Have you ever walked down to the basement, saw piles of laundry in the corner of your eye, felt a pit in your stomach at how behind you are then tried to forget about it so you didn’t have to feel overwhelmed anymore? This is a common story that working moms talk to me about; it’s their “nemesis”.
Do you cringe when your child asks you to play "Choo Choo train" or Barbies with them? It's the hidden secret that moms are only now speaking about. Moms are finally being honest about the fact that they don't like playing most of the games their children want them to play and that they actually feel resentful at times that they are being "forced" to play something they don't enjoy. Along with this feeling comes, you guessed it...guilt.
It's common to hear adults talking about how stressed or overwhelmed they are, but do we hear from our children how they feel? Research finds that between 8 and 10% of North American children are seriously troubled by stress. I'll never forget a class meeting I shared with my students some 6 years ago. The students were discussing their feelings and all but 1 boy said, "I'm so stressed!" They were 8 and 9 years old. Probing them further, I asked, "Why?" Here is the short list of reasons they mentioned: 1. Too much homework (I must note that they mentioned subjects areasr
Family vacations are supposed to be fun, but many times parents dread them because they feel out of their comfort zone when their children misbehave; they know their discipline options are limited and having to apply consequences in public is for some, quite embarrassing.
Every mom wants more me time. In fact some mom tell me they don't remember when they last had some! Luckily, there are some sneaky ways that you can find and enjoy some well deserved time by yourself. Here are just a few ideas:
Have you ever wished you had the perfect words to say when your child misbehaved? How many of you have had the experience where you are at the grocery store and your child keeps begging you to buy something, and no matter how many times you explain or say an outright, “NO!” they continue? Wouldn’t you LOVE to have a single phrase that would stop their badgering immediately?
Summer is a great time to relax and enjoy our families, but it can also be a great time for some reflection. Use a prviate, quiet moment this summer to reflect on how your year as a parent has been. The checklist below will help you with this process. It will allow you to see where you might need to do some tweaking or it may allow you to give yourself a great big pat on the back for doing many things well. Checklist: 1) I have read to my child. 2) I have read a book, novel, magazine, newspaper or newsletter while my child is in the same room
Good manners are the backbone of a civilized society and make interacting with people a joy. Manners also create a strong first impression, and they pave the way to good jobs, smooth relations with family and friends, and an easier time out in the real world. The lesson here? Make it a priority to teach your children the manners suggested below before they turn thirteen. Here are some basic manners you might want to consider: General: 1. Saying "Please" and "Thank you" should be as automatic as breathing.
Here's a question to ask yourself: Is a family who is constantly out and about, going here and there, attending music classes and swimming lessons, etc. better than one who stays home most evenings, and doesn't have their children in a bunch of different classes? Thought provoking, isn't it?
I cannot count the number of times I’ve either heard my coaching clients or parents on the street say, “My child just doesn’t listen to me!” or “Why can’t he/she just listen?” There are two issues here: 1. The child doesn’t have a healthy level of respect for the parents’ authority (as hard as this may be to admit) 2. The parent is making the request at the wrong time. Luckily, there are two great solutions to these issues.
If I asked you what a typical day for your family looks like, what would you say? Often times when I ask parents this question most say, “There is no typical”. Family life today is more about randomness and improvisation than rhythm. Wednesday wash day? Snack and milk after school? Sunday dinner? These kind of weekly traditions rarely occur anymore. The consequence? Stress, misbehaviour, lack of family connection and overwhelm. The antidote? Creating more rhythm in your home.
Ever wonder why some days your kids just seem to test you, rebel against you or resist everything you ask of them? That happened to me a couple of days ago and I want to share with you how I resolved this issue.
Bully...someone who gets pleasure from inflicting physical or emotional pain on another. Throughout this 4 Part Series we've discussed who a bully is and realized that there are no stereotypes of exactly who can be a bully. We also discovered the reasons why people bully. Now, I want to discuss what to do if your child is the victim of bullying OR if your child is a bully.
If I asked you what words come to mind when you think of your home, what would you say? Would you tell me that it brings you peace every time you walk in the front door? Would you say that the items in your home inspire you and bring you joy every time you look at them? Would you describe your household as organized and calm? A peaceful, calm household that is organized and filled with happiness and laughter is the type of home anyone would love to say they own. It is also the best type of home in which to raise a family. So, how do we ensure that we can describe our homes this way?
Being a good parent requires us to be many things, but one of the most important attributes is to be reflective. Without this, parents will find themselves experiencing the same struggles over and over again.
One of the most encouraging things a parent can do for their child is to spend regular, scheduled time with them. Many parents may think they already spend a lot of time with their children, however there is a difference betwee "family time", "have-to time" and "scheduled special time".
Have you ever said or done something to your child only to question whether you could or should have said or done it better? Being reflective is an attribute of a highly successful parent, but that is very different than second guessing oneself. Second guessing can be so detrimental to a parent's confidence and self esteem. So, how does a parent stop this negative pattern and become more self-assured and confident? There is a HUGE tip that can change the way a parent feels and views them self as a parent.
If you celebrate Christmas then you're going to love the ideas given here. You will be guaranteed that your child will love the present they receive and but can also be assured that the gift you are giving is appropriate, meaningful, and will help your child explore their own sense of curiosity and creativity.
Here's a question to ask yourself: Is a family that is constantly out and about, going here and there, attending music classes and swimming lessons, etc. better than one who stays home most evenings, and doesn't have their children in a bunch of different classes? Thought provoking, isn't it?
If I asked you, "What is the main purpose of a parent?" I'd probably get the following responses: 1. To be their child's guide in life 2. To love their child unconditionally 3. To teach their child good values 4. To protect their child 5. To offer their child support through life Although all of the above are important and offer a beautiful image of what a loving parent/child relationship can look like, I would like to suggest that the REAL goal of any parent should be to teach their child to become their own parent.
One of the top issues in homes today is one where parents are completely frustrated at how picky or fussy their children are at mealtimes. Luckily, there is a very easy solution to this problem. Meal times should and can be one of the most precious rituals in any family's home. It's a time when everyone's schedules go out the window and you just sit together eating, catching up on each other's days and enjoying one another's company. If your meal times are not like this then let's have a look at some possible reasons why, along with an appropriate solution for each.
Since the success of the program "Supe anny", many parents have begun using time-outs in one way or another. While they are finding time-outs to be very effective, parents often have the same questions regarding certain problems they encounter. Here are solutions to the top 4 most commonly asked questions. 1) What happens if my child won't go to the time-out spot? Solution #1
Does your child hoard toys and possessions or have trouble taking turns? Many times we think that by just telling our child to “play nice” it will be enough to get him or her to share, however the REAL way to achieve your goal of getting your child to consider the needs and feels of others and share and/or take turns is to actually SHOW how sharing looks. How do you do this effectively? Here are the two steps you will want to take to see quick success.
Does trying to get your children to open up about their day feel like an inquisition? Do you feel like you’re giving your child the third degree to tell you anything about their life? If so, here are some simple, effective ways you can help your child open up and share more about their day and life. You: “What did you learn today?” Child: “Nothing” You: “Do you have any homework? Child: "Nope" You: “Did you make a new friend?” Child: "Yep"
When one of my newest coaching clients came to me a month ago, she was nearing her whit's end. Cody, her 7-year-old son, was talking back to the teacher at school and getting into arguments with friends. "It's been getting worse over the last year or so since my daughter, Kayla, was born. I love both of my kids but the baby takes up so much of my time and I know that Cody needs me too. I don't know what to do."
Every responsible human being has acquired certain virtues useful in getting along with others. Topping the list are kindness, being responsible, friendliness, charity, honesty, trustworthiness, compassion and respect for others. All are reasonable and desirable tools for successful living. Thinking that the acquisition of these traits can be left to chance would be a big mistake.
My message to parents has always been that too much talking is one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make when disciplining their child. However, there is a place and time when talking is truly beneficial to the parent/child relationship. So how does a parent know when to talk and when not to?
Your kids are away at camp and although you thought you’d be using this time to flop on the sofa and vegetate, you find yourself ancy, walking around, wondering what to do with all this time on your hands! The very fact that you have some extra time is, funny enough, stressing you out! You don’t know what to do or where to begin! Here are 10 fantastic things you can do to fill that precious time: 1. Sit down with your partner and brainstorm a list of things you used to love doing together then schedule at least 3-4 of those on your calendar.
We often think that the holidays are for spending quality time with our family, carrying out traditions and enjoying time at home with the ones we love the most. Although the holidays are truly a special time for our families, so should it be for you and you alone.
Moms, let me share something with you. In order to be a great mother you MUST nourish yourself. Once you do this, you will have the energy, enthusiasm and patience to be that great mom you truly want to be. This may seem contradictory to what your brain is telling you – isn’t it child first, then you? No.
We often hear people saying, “Gosh, life is more difficult than when we were kids.” Yes, it is very different in terms of how global the world has become and how the world feels faster-paced. This pace is what has caused parents to feel so overwhelmed by their responsibilities. From my experience of working with families all over the world I have found that there are seven clear reasons why families are stressed today. Do any of these match your life?
According to a recent survey, stress affects 30% + of the population on a daily basis. Too much stress can contribute to a long list of health problems as well as family problems. The good news is that there is plenty you can do to help get balance back into your life. The Tell Tale Signs of Stress * Not being able to sleep properly * poor concentration and increased irritability * Drinking excess caffeine, too much alcohol and smoking more * An inability to make decisions and feeling frustrated by this
A common theme over the past 20 years has been how much children have changed from when we were growing up in terms of how they show respect. I know that for the most part in the 1960's, anyone in a position of authority commanded respect which included parents, teachers, police officers, principals, bosses, coaches and anyone else we viewed in some way as a person in authority. We in fact were taught to "obey" and do as we were told; no questions asked.
This time of year can bring loads of happiness and joy however it can also bring loads of stress and anxiety, particularly for parents. Is there a way to authentically celebrate the holidays without feeling stressed and going into debt? Absolutely! There are many ways to take the focus off material things and on to what truly counts: FAMILY. Here are some ideas to inspire you: