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Browse published articles attributed to Gudrun Frerichs, with full-archive search.
Good communication is not rocket science. It’s also not ‘painting by numbers’ where people have to learn a set of techniques. It’s not enough to learn some skills. The key to good communication is not just having good communication skills, but also having self-awareness. Why do you react and ...
There are many areas in life where it can be noticed that men and women respond differently to a number of situations, recent research with brain imaging has shown that each gender responds differently to stress. The main difference is that stress caused changes in men's rights prefrontal ...
Wouldn't it be great if we were born with an inbuilt manual that shows us how to relate successfully to others? Although everyone has the capability to relate successfully to others, often people react in ways that are distorted by past experiences. The culprits are usually one or all of the ...
Research * has shown that survivors of sexual abuse often feel support and understanding is missing when they disclose having been abused. Research has also shown that survivors who are not getting appropriate support when they disclose having been abused are more prone to develop post traumatic ...
"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." (Perl S. Buck) Perl S. Buck has written these wise words long ...
Self-Respect is a product of being granted rights like anybody else. Self-respect is understood here as the ability to perceive oneself as a morally responsible individual whose actions are respected by others. Recognition through the granting of rights by legal systems is thus the second form ...
From very early on in life, we seek someone we can attach to, who understands us, cares for us, loves us, and gives us a sense of safety and belonging. We look to attach to someone who will be there when times turn rough, and most importantly, who shares our dreams for a happy future, for a ...
It has been clear for some time that childhood experiences become part of a child's neurological physiology and over time, through re-enforcement and repetition form aspects of its personality structure. The task of recovery is to stop the process of repetition and re-enforcement of the unwanted ...
I have been asked the other day whether people need to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor to recover from sexual abuse. I think that is a really good question. Does a person need therapy to heal? I don't think it is necessary to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor. However, they need ...
Just the other day someone made the statement that child sexual abuse is normal because it happens so oft en. Maybe it’s only a problem because we (society) make such a big deal out of it. Well, that was quite a challenge that turned quickly into a heated discussion. I can understand though, ...
Moving on from surviving sexual abuse to thriving in life can often be an up-hill battle of epic proportions. People, who have been sexually abused and did not get immediately support, care, and love from their parents, inevitably struggle with developing trust. This struggle is not a ...
People derive a sense of self and identity through interactions with others who give recognition and approval to a person's abilities and accomplishments. How does that work? As children grow up, they are dependant on 'significant others' for forming of a positive sense of self. Children need ...
Coping strategies are designed to keep the person alive and functioning. Some people call these strategies defense mechanisms or avoidance - some might even go as far as talking about denial. That's all very judgmental and I personally prefer coping strategies. Why you may ask? Because these ...
When you ask the questio "What is Love?" people will give you many different explanations. Indeed, love is many things for many people. I would like to present the concept of 'Consumate Love' following the 'Triangular Theory of Love' developed by Robert Ste berg. (Find out more about Ste berg ...
It is a well known fact, that relationships lose their fire after a while. The romantic moments, the butterflies in the stomach, the obsessive thinking about the love object, all those exciting feelings that make you feel alive slowly dim down with time. Like a campfire that runs out of wood. ...
Goal setting is a very useful and interesting process. By spending some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and writing your thoughts down, you give direction to your life. Having gone through the process of determining how you want you future to be and recording your goals, you ...
One characteristic of human societies is that people come together and seek closeness with others in the face of traumatic experiences. "Emotional attachment is probably the primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness; it is essential for biological survival in ...
One of my favourite sayings is "It's never too late to have a happy childhood". This is particularly true for survivors of sexual abuse. When you are a survivor and you struggle to function in daily life, you missed out on the vital ingredients to a happy childhood: emotional support, care, ...
Self-confidence is one of these terms that are used by many people in many different ways without there being a clear agreement or understanding what exactly it means. In fact, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth are often used interchangeably. I am going to use the concept ...
I have often been asked by colleagues why I use neuro-biological instead of psychological concepts to explain developmental processes. My answer is always that neuro-biological concepts can be 'seen' on MRI scans and we become more understanding of how our brain works. I find that exciting. So ...
Self-esteem is a product of recognition through solidarity. Let me explain what that means. Within a community of peers people experience the expression of appreciation, acknowledge, valuing, and support as a sign of solidarity. When we are recognised in the above ways by people who share our ...
It is well know that only about 7% of communication is expressed in language. 93% of all communication is expressed in body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. That means the better you are able to ‘read’ the other person’s non-verbal expressions, the better you will be at connecting ...
It is a well known fact, that relationships lose their fire after a while. The romantic moments, the butterflies in the stomach, the obsessive thinking about the love object, all those exciting feelings that make you feel alive slowly dim down with time. Like a campfire that runs out of wood. ...
I often liken the exhilarating state of 'falling in love' to Guy Fawkes Night. It's a night with lots of excitement created by fire-works of such beauty that take your breath away and make your heart beat faster. The instant attraction to another person causes reason and rhyme to vanish whilst ...
Most human suffering can be explained with the breakdown of relationships between people. Conflicts between countries, childhood abuse, domestic violence, bullying, human trafficking, and work-place conflicts all have in common that on some level the relationships between people lacked ...
I have found in my research that often survivors do not know that their problems are related to experiences of sexual abuse in their past. In fact, in my research six of the ten participants did not link their psychiatric disturbances to their history of sexual abuse. They were completely ...
The journey of recovery from sexual abuse can often be a journey of pain that over time may become hopeful longing and turns towards the end into delight. Even though most survivors understand recovery as a lifelong process, a significant milestone is usually achieved when coping without ...
In my practice I find over and over again that people are afraid of conflict. So much so, that when someone does something that goes up their proverbial nose, they don’t say anything, withdraw, count to ten, get over it, or just ignore what just happened. Of course, conflict that is not resolved ...
Wouldn't it be great if human beings came to this world with well functioning, inbuilt relationship software? Indeed, we do. Everyone has the capability to relate successfully to others. Often that capability is heavily burdened by "stuff" that distorts people's thinking, beliefs, and values. ...
Wouldn't it be great if human beings came to this world with a well functioning, inbuilt relationship software? Indeed, we do come with an inbuilt capability to form deep, lasting, successful relationships. How then does it happen that so many relationships run into problems? Reports about ...
I have been asked the other day whether people need to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor to recover from sexual abuse. I think that is a really good question. Does a person need therapy to heal? I don't think it is necessary to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor. However, they need ...
"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." (Perl S. Buck)Perl S. Buck has written these wise words long before ...
In my practice I find over and over again that people are afraid of conflict. So much so, that when someone does something that goes up their proverbial nose, they don’t say anything, withdraw, count to ten, get over it, or just ignore what just happened. Of course, conflict that is not ...
Wouldn't it be great if human beings came to this world with a well functioning, inbuilt relationship software? Indeed, we do come with an inbuilt capability to form deep, lasting, successful relationships. How then does it happen that so many relationships run into problems? Reports about ...
The NZ Herald reported in September 2007 that the New Zealand government spends yearly NZ$30 million over a million prescriptions for antidepressants. Conce s are raised about the high prescription rate that includes antidepressants prescribed to adolescents and children as young as one year ...
Some years ago I watched Oprah as she interviewed a guy who wrote a book that would once and for all explain to women how to be in order for their man/partner to love her forever...I have to admit, I logged in to Amazon and got the book. Why wouldn't you want to miss out on such valuable ...
Most human suffering can be explained with the breakdown of relationships between people. Conflicts between countries, childhood abuse, domestic violence, bullying, human trafficking, and work-place conflicts all have in common that on some level the relationships between people lacked ...