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Articles by Janet Pfeiffer

Browse published articles attributed to Janet Pfeiffer, with full-archive search.

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By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Depression and Global Consciousness - A Very Unique Perspective

I recently read an article that described depression as "a psychological reaction to the violent deformities of the modern world." I found that statement deeply provocative and began to ponder it's meaning. "Anger turned inward" doesn't satisfy me anymore. I do not subscribe to the belief that depression is a disease nor am I of the mindset that depression, or any other health issues, are heredity (a belief shared with some of the greatest minds in the mind/body/spirit arena).

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,648 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

How to Make a Difficult Conversation Easier

Conversations can be risky at times. The more sensitive the topic, the more delicately we need to approach it while maintaining a truthful and honest demeanor . The subtle balance between being blunt and abrasive or being effectual is one that many are not equipped to navigate.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,646 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

M & M's: Motive and Method

People often ask me if they should say something to someone or make a particular life decision. My response to them is, "Why would you and how are you planning to?" Motive (intent) is a key factor in determining the validity of any decision. "No one likes my sister-in-law and I'm going to tell her." While I'm not opposed to addressing this issue, I question the reasons. Is it to hurt her feelings, put her in her place, make yourself look wonderful? Or is it to help her understand why her relationships aren't working, thereby giving her the opportunity to improve them?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,640 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is oftentimes misunderstood and difficult to put into action. For some, when another offends or betrays them, moving beyond the anger and the need to get even can feel impossible.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,639 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

GOOD L~U~C DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Last week, I spoke before a group of business professionals about dealing with difficult people. It seems that no matter where we are in life, whether at home with our families, in social settings, at work, or just out and about, we encounter challenging and obnoxious people. The first issue we must identify, however, is who the insufferable person is. Look in the mirror. Is the reflection one that others would label demanding, obstinate, stubborn, unmanageable or irritable? While it is not always easy to recognize our own imperfections, it is absolutely critical that we do so first.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,637 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Doorbells, Dishtowels, Ducks, and Cake Relieve Anger

Ducks, dishtowels, and doorbells: one wouldn't think they're connected to anger in any way. Cake, on the other hand, is a no-brainer: when upset, eat some. Plain and simple. No one can be angry when stuffing their mouths with a confectionery delight topped with butter cream icing and sugar roses. Yum! As tempting as it may sound to consume a sugary treat when angry that's actually not what I'm suggesting. Let me explain.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,632 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

RIGHTEOUS ANGER

In regards to anger, I have good news and some bad news. First the good news: there is nothing wrong with being angry. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. It is even necessary for justice to preside as well as for our very survival. The bad news is that it is not ok to express it whenever and however we want. Letting it out can prove to be detrimental to our health, well-being, safety, and even our very lives. According to a study at Stanford University, explosive outbursts can lead to the formation of blood clots. And we know all-to-well that one clot to the heart or brain can be deadly.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,630 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The Pitfalls of Guilt and Shame

There have been times in our lives when most of us have struggled with issues of guilt or shame. I have. The night my mom and I put my dad into a nursing home was by far one of the worst moments in my life. To a great extent this was due to the extreme guilt I was feeling over my perceived abandonment of the father who loved and cared for me for the sixty years of my life. Diagnosed with Alzheimer's several months earlier, we kept him at home with my mom for as long as we could. But he required far more care than we were capable of giving him.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,625 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Her Way or the Highway

For more than a month I posted her picture on my social media sites. "Please open your heart and adopt 'Odette'. She is a precious yorkie/poodle mix rescued from a puppy mill." Her photo didn't do her justice. She sat huddled in the back of her cage at RBARI shelter in Oakland, her tortured life reflected in her body language. I posted and reposted but to no avail. I inquire if there had been any interest in her. "No", the shelter explained. "Dogs like her are hard to adopt out. They have been severely abused and are terrified of humans.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,623 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Addressing the Primary Sources of Conflict

Conflict is a normal, healthy, and useful part of life. At its simplest, it means there is a disagreement or difference of opinion between two or more individuals. In life we can identify two types of conflict: internal and exte al. Internal conflict, the root issue causing discomfort and the basis which leads to one outwardly expression of it, manifests for several reasons: 1) We are not living authentic lives - our values and beliefs.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,618 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Forgiveness and Inner Peace - the Connection

Forgiveness: so many misconceptions and misunderstandings; so many who believe forgiveness is reserved for a chosen few or must be preceded with an apology. Still others feel at times that it is impossible or worse, that there are those not deserving of its graces. And so they suffer...all of them, when healing is clearly within their reach. Please take a moment and reflect on a letter from the Father expressing the importance and necessity of His sacred gift of forgiveness. A Letter From God With Love My dear children,

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,617 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Part 2: The Surprising Cause of Stress

I'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who never experiences stress. Most of us become frustrated when things don't go the way we planned or when others don't comply with how we want them to be or behave. A sense of losing control triggers feelings of uncertainty within us. Mild anxiety, or sometimes full blown fear, propels us to seek to regain power over the situation or individual. Yet authentic power is never about exerting authority over others but rather demonstrates our ability to remain unaffected adversely by our exte al environment.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,610 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

It's Not Fair!

A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,607 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

3 Must Have's That Resolve Conflicts

Conflict is a natural and even healthy aspect of life. It enables us to see another perspective of an issue, to creatively discuss and seek solutions to our differences, to learn to be open-minded and flexible, to practice the fine art of compromise or in some instances to graciously concede to the other party's wishes. On many levels, it can be a very useful tool for our personal growth and development enabling us to better get along with one another. Yet for a large portion of the population, conflict spells f-i-g-h-t, from which we either prepare our defenses or flee the scene in haste.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,606 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

HOW TO EFFORTLESSLY WIN WHEN ARGUING

Wouldn't it be wonderful if every time we disagreed with someone we could actually win when arguing? For many, disagreements are viewed as a battle of intelligence between two opposing forces. Each having what they believe to be a strong and valid position on a topic, they engage in verbal and intellectual warfare determined to prove themselves right and their opponent wrong.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,604 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

How to Pray When You're Angry

I begin each day in prayer. It is a vital part of my life. Mine are not the typical "gimme" prayers. I have matured beyond the childish requests of wanting my every wish granted. (With the exception of - I'm still praying for that pony for Christmas!) I've learned that what I'm seeking may not always be in alignment with Divine Will. My prayers now consist mostly of gratitude*, awareness, and alignment**. When praying for others, I ask only that they open their hearts and minds to God, allowing Him to guide them, heal their pain, and restore them to wholeness.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,604 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Anger and Self-Pity: The Shortest Road to Misery

I've never been one to feel sorry for myself. When bad things would happen in my life I never asked "why me?" I would, instead, inquire "why not me?" I learned early-on that bad things happen in everyone's life and I was not exempt so I developed a mindset of quiet self-resignation - I simply accepted life's misfortunes.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,600 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

IT'S NOT FAIR!

At one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was thirty minutes earlier. As adults, we attribute this behavior to immaturity and expect that as children grow and develop this rationale will make way for a more judicious way of thinking . Sadly, many people carry this mind-set with them well into adulthood.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,600 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Achieving Self-Compassion

At times, human beings can be incredibly compassionate towards one another. A family member going through a difficult time is encouraged to take extra care of themselves. A teen struggling with adolescent challenges is given support and encouragement. We offer our assistance to a neighbor who's spouse is seriously ill. When others are at their worst, humanity is at its best. And yet, we are sometimes remiss in extending to ourselves the same tender care we offer to others.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,598 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Healing Anger Natur-ally

Several years ago, I had a client whose nine-year old son had anger issues. His doctor diagnosed him with ADD and suggested medication to quell his angry outbursts. "What do you think?" the mother inquired of me. Not an advocate of prescription medications (with the exception of the most extreme cases), I told her honestly that if it were my child I would exhaust every natural method before resorting to drugs. "Is he at risk for hurting himself or someone else?" I asked. "No", she replied.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,594 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

"THE 12 YEA'S OF CHRISTMAS: "GETTING ALONG WITH FAMILY DURING THE HOLIDAYS"

Is world peace really possible? Maybe, but peace begins within, then extends into the home before it can reach global proportions. Sadly, the holidays, proclaimed the most wonderful time of the year, are more realistically the most stressful, bringing out the worst in people rather than the true spirit of love and generosity.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,593 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

TEN TIPS TO DIFFUSE A VOLATILE SITUATION

We are living in a very volatile and dangerous age. Not only have issues of domestic violence, child and animal abuse, anger in the workplace and so on been more apparent, but we are definitely witnessing a rise of violence within our communities. Gangs and individual assaults seem to be taking a back seat to protests by militant groups claiming to seek justice but who in actuality are promoting and engaging in acts of violence themselves. What could be a peaceful gathering intent on seeking a reasonable solution to a problem escalates to one of violence and often bloodshed.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,593 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Aggression and Anger: the Human/Canine Connection

A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,591 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Part 3: Stress-Less Solutions

I don't worry much. When an issue arises that cause me distress, my mind instantly begins searching for possible solutions. I wasn't always like this - it took years of awareness and effort but it has certainly paid off. Take this past week, for example. I use a service to heavily promote both my radio show and my books. I've been affectionately referred to as a "marketing machine" by some who know me on social media. When one of my social media sites changed their format, what used to take me twenty minutes to accomplish took two and a half hours.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,586 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Joe Frasier's Got Nothing On Me (Reactive Anger)

I was an instructor at the Learning Annex in NY City for many years. Classes ended at 9 pm and the ride home was a long one. One evening, after teaching an anger management course for three hours, I pulled into my driveway around 11 pm, exhausted and anxious to crawl into bed. I pulled my car into the garage and from there entered directly into the great room at the back of the house.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,582 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Preventing Another Orlando Massacre

Last week our country was shattered by yet another senseless massacre of innocent people. A gunman opened fire inside Pulse, a crowded gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, early Sunday morning, leaving at least 49 people dead in the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history. Gays have long been targets of hate crimes throughout the world as have others as well. Heated debates in Congress and among US citizens on gun control laws have been occurring for years but as of late have intensified due to incidences such as this.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,582 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Five Steps to Inner Peace

One of my favorite authors, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, once stated that "There is no way to peace. Peace is the way." This seemed rather contradictory to the common belief that a peaceful state of existence is a destination we arrive at after traversing the correct path. Wayne challenges us to view peace as a state of mind, a choice, a way of life. One who is serene makes consciously different choices in the way they live. Here are five steps to a more peaceful life:

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,580 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

P~R~E ANGER: PREVENT, REDUCE, ELIMINATE

You've heard me say in previous shows that anger is a normal, healthy, and in many cases a useful emotion. While some may believe that the feeling itself is wrong or bad, it's not. It is the way we choose to express it and use it determines if it becomes a positive force in our lives to bring about beneficial change or a destructive force which makes matters worse for us or for those around us.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,580 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Anger: Incident or Issue?

In the years that I facilitated my support group for estranged families, I primarily worked with older parents whose adult children had severed their relationship with them. The parents were perplexed: "I was a good parent", they declared. "I gave my children the best of everything. There is no reason why they should be punishing me like this!"

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,577 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

"S~T~A" Away From Anger

I love creating simple strategies individuals can use to experience less anger or stress in their lives, to improve their communications skills, resolve conflicts easier or create inner peace. From the SWaT Strategy* to TECO Magic*, The Great Duck and Dishtowel Debate* or the Seven C's of Conflict Resolution, I find that the simpler it is, the easier it is to remember and apply. My latest, S~T~A, provides a pragmatic way to prevent any situation from becoming inflammatory and destructive.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,576 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Who Needs Anger?

Everyone - we all need anger. The most simple basic definition of anger is that it's an indication that we have unmet needs that have to be addressed, a sign that something is lacking in our lives that we want to satisfy. As with all emotions, anger is normal, useful, healthy, and necessary. Emotions are messengers of sorts. Each one reveals aspects about ourselves that we may not be aware of so that we may better know who we are and what matters to us. When an outside event stirs anger inside, we must first ask ourselves, "What is it that I need in this situation?"

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,576 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

How to Start and/or Stop and Argument

Being a part of any relationship for a period of time affords an individual the opportunity to learn what works and what doesn't with each respective person. I may be able to discuss politics with Uncle Joe but Aunt Sue? Never! He's open minded to other people's views and enjoys a lively debate. Aunt Sue, on the other hand, is opinionated, is a right-fighter (one who always has to be right as Dr. Phil refers to them), and becomes nasty with those who disagree with her.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,575 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

3 Keys To an Anger-Free Life

Have you been upset about an issue that seems to make no sense and asked yourself, "Why did I get so angry over something that was relatively minor?" Oftentimes, our response is triggered not by the present issue but from an alte ative source. Odd as it may seem, the past and future can hold the keys to why we are angry. It is the discovery of these secrets that can enable us to live an anger-free life. Let's take a look at each one: The Past:

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,572 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

HA-HA SORB APPROACH TO BULLIES

People don't typically want to interact with those they consider to be bullies or tyrants. Yet contrary to popular belief, bullies are not bad people. It's their behaviors that are appalling. They act out their pain, loneliness, insecurities, and so on in the most offensive and unkind ways. But as I've stated repeatedly, behavior is only an outward expression of one's internal issues. Having said that, many people are hesitant to interact with them, uncertain of the bully's reactions or if they will be safe in doing so.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,572 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

New Year - No Anger

Here it is: the beginning of another new year. All around the globe people are making New Year's resolutions to lose weight, be happier, spend more quality time with their families and so on. I find it rather odd that in a world filled with anger and violence no one makes a declaration to "not be so angry". While it's realistic to think we can be less angry, is it reasonable to expect that we experience no anger at all? And if so, it is even wise? After all, anger, as with all emotions, is a necessary and useful feeling. So why would anyone want to eliminate it completely?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,571 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Inspired Communication

The purpose of communication is so individuals can freely share their ideas, feelings, thoughts, and needs with one another as a means of better understanding themselves and the situation at hand. However it can present a unique set of challenges for several reasons: 1) As children we are not typically taught how to communicate - we are taught to talk, big difference. 2) Everyone has their unique style and level of speaking that is comfortable for them yet may be challenging for others to relate to. 3) We speak differently to our families than those we work with, our friends, or strangers.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,567 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Anger: The Bigger Picture

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that was somewhat confusing, uncomfortable or perhaps even dangerous? Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen or why we must participate in particular activities. We don't often understand why certain people enter our lives or why they leave. "Living in the moment" is a wonderful philosophy but can obstruct our ability to more fully see the bigger picture, the why's and what for's. As a child, I believed I had the meanest parents in the world.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,566 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

How Your Anger Benefits Me

Your anger can actually benefit me. That sounds a bit ludicrous, wouldn't you agree? Anger hurts the one experiencing it but how can it possibly work to my advantage? If you become angry with me, I might feel upset, disrespected, scared, or angry in return. On a deeper level those emotions can prove to be insightful and so to that extent yes, I can benefit. But is there something more that can be gained by witnessing or being the target of another person's ire? 1. Loss of Control:

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,560 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Violence, 911, and War: There's a Better Way

Since the beginning of time, wars have been fought in an effort to bring about peace. Have we accomplished that yet? Maybe violence isn't the answer. I am a peace lover. Not only do I promote peaceful coexistence but I also live peacefully with others. I do not argue or fight; I do not promote or instigate dissension between family or friends; I am careful never to offend anyone and apologize quickly if I do. I have yet to meet anyone who loves brutality or war yet I continually encounter those who live violent lives.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,560 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Anger and the 2 "F" Words

No, I'm not speaking about that "F" word. I'm going to address two different words beginning with the letter "f" and how they influence the decisions we make, our responses in any given situation, and how the outcome adds to or subtracts from our happiness and/or contributes to our anger. Those two words are "feelings" and "facts". Let me explain.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,557 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

WHEN TO FIGHT AND WHEN TO NOT

I'm not much of a fighter. When I was a child, my dad taught me that if someone hits you, hit them back but never be the one to throw the first punch. In essence, only fight back when you have to defend yourself. My mom's message was taken from Luke 6:29 and contradicted Dad's: "If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them." Her voice resonated the strongest with me and for the better part of my life I'd walk away from any confrontation whether physical or verbal.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,556 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Never Allow This To Happen To You!

We're all influenced by those around us and by what is occurring in our lives. Something as simple as the weather can affect how we feel. A cloudy, rainy day can take an otherwise cheerful person and transform them into a gloomy Gus of sorts. Being stuck in traffic can alter one's mood from that of excitement for what begins as a day filled with great anticipation to one of frustration and agitation. Moods can be uplifted or crushed by outside circumstances and once that occurs it can be very difficult to regain the positive mind frame we originally had.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,551 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Oh, Deer!

I was ecstatic when we moved into our home fifteen years ago. Leaving behind a congested suburb for a more rural area abundant with wildlife was a dream-come-true for me. I’ve always felt a special connection with nature and to be living among her finest was heaven! Herds of deer, magnificent black bears, red foxes – all were regular visitors to my backyard. And for an amateur photographer, what could be more convenient than to have my subjects come to me?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,551 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Family Feuds, Quick Tips to Resolve Them

Families: they can be our greatest source of joy or a never ending cause of stress. Some might like to have a few parts replaced, others may prefer to trade theirs in for a more suitable model. Some are grateful to have a family regardless while others would prefer to travel through life solo. If you're a member of a family, then you know how challenging it can be to deal with the wide scope of personalities, quirky behaviors, opposing viewpoints, different needs, beliefs, and values, along with varying methods of how members doing things.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,548 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Dealing With Insults Effectively

My husband is brutal: he teases and torments me unmercifully. But I'm just as bad. From the moment we wake up until we crawl exhausted into bed at the end of the day, we are constantly harassing one another.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,545 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

ANGRY? GET OVER IT!

Today my husband and I had our fifth fight. Not bad for a twenty year marriage but regardless, for an anger management professional such as myself, I didn't handle it very well. Actually, fight is not an accurate description as it was more like a huff, that is we got annoyed at each other. Let me explain: I asked Mac to show me how to use the power washer so that I could prep the tool shed to be painted. I had mentioned several times that this was a priority chore for me this year. The day prior, I told him that I wanted to get started this weekend.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,540 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The Surprising Cause of Stress, Part 1

Today is "tax day". For millions of American tax payers it is probably their least favorite time of the year, propelling them into a state of duress and anxiety. For a business owner such as myself the task of gathering all of my receipts and itemizing my expenses is time consuming and definitely not on my list of top ten favorite any things. A highly qualified CPA makes the process of filing much easier for me... that is, until we hit a snag between banking protocol and IRS regulations conce ing IRA rollovers which seem to contradict one another.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,539 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Why People Don't Get Along

Why is it so difficult for us to get along with one another? After all, we all have the same basic needs in life. We all want to be valued, to be acknowledged for the good that we do, to be treated fairly and given sufficient opportunities in life; we all want to be accepted as we are and to be loved in the same way. Aside from the packaging and our individual talents and goals, we are all basically the same. Yet it seems the majority of people fail to recognize our similarities and focus instead on our differences.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,539 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Anger and Disease: the Connection and Remedies

There is no denying that the mind, body, and spirit are all interconnected. What impacts one affects all others. While the general public has become more health conscious in terms of eating healthier, dropping those unnecessary pounds, and exercising more, what often gets overlooked - that continues to impact our health - are our emotional issues and beliefs.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,537 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

When Silence Isn't Golden

We're all familiar with the phrase "Silence is golden". This proverb dates as far back as ancient Egypt, making reference to the importance of keeping quiet under certain circumstances. The first example of it being used in English is credited to the poet Thomas Carlyle in 1831. Certainly there are times when silence is the better option than speaking up: • If a matter being discussed or the situation occurring does not involve me, then it may be in my best interest not to comment on it.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,533 views

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