Ten Tips to Fight Fair
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
Primary topic: Anger Management
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Browse published articles attributed to Janet Pfeiffer, with full-archive search.
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
I enjoy a good robust debate. I find it can be very stimulating and present an opportunity for me to learn something new. In every facet of life, we encounter individuals with whom we have disagreements. Recently, a woman in her forties came into my office seeking suggestions as to how she could best deal with her soon-to-be ex husband.
With the exception of impersonators, most people believe that they only have one voice. That voice is used to express one's feelings and needs. It can be vocalized either loudly or softly; it's tone can change from one of sarcasm to that of compassion; one's voice can be used to express happiness, anger, sadness, silliness, compliments or criticisms. We have our "baby" voice, (typically reserved for newbo s), our disciplinary voice (used for our children), our boisterous voice (most commonly found at ballgames, amusement parks or hurled at obnoxious drivers), and our multi-purpose whisper.
As I entered the room I could feel the tension of the forty-eight individuals seated at the oblong conference tables. I was about to present a workshop to these teachers on managing stress. Conditions for educators across the nation have become increasingly more demanding as states mandate more and more changes, where parents are less involved in their children's academic achievements, and children dominate the classroom with disrespectful behaviors. I have a family member who recently resigned from teaching due to the enormous amounts of pressure he's been under.
Never, ever ask this question! It is the quickest way to offend someone and turn an ordinary conversation into an argument. We've all encountered someone who is upset, distressed, angry, sad or not in a positive frame of mind. In an effort to find out what's wrong, we sometimes blurt out a rather offense query. The question (in question) is "What's your problem?" (Emphasize "your", say it with an attitude and be sure to scrunch up your face.) We've all said it or had others ask it of us. And the typical response is...? "Me? I don't have a problem!
"I did everything I was supposed to: I worked hard, raised my family, helped others. Now I'm retiring and want to enjoy life and I'm diagnosed with cancer. It's not fair!" A tearful "Susan" sat in my office last year, steeped in anger over the injustice of her diagnosis and fluctuating between rage and deep despair. Life handed her a raw deal. Over and over she asked "Why me?" She didn't have any risk factors associated with cancer. Yet one day it appeared, uninvited, unwelcomed, unfairly intruding on her life. I didn't have the answers she was seeking.
As a child, I grew up aware of two distinct races: black and white. I don’t know who made this determination but that is what society taught us and we accepted it. I must have somehow lost touch with the world for a period of about two decades. When I finally reconnected I discover multiple new races had emerged: Hispanics, Asians, Latinos and others. Had I been in a time warp? Where was I when these new races were assigned? I attended school with children who came from these same diverse backgrounds but they weren’t labeled different “races”.