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Articles by Jill Darcey

Browse published articles attributed to Jill Darcey, with full-archive search.

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By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

The Kids are with Me or You - but not Her!

It's normal, it's real, and it's understandable ... so what's the answer? We all think it - and most of us say it when we share children with an Ex who has a new partner. The phrase 'the kids are with me or you - but not her' is equally valid when read "but not him" in place of her however 'her' just seems to be more common so for simplicity sake, I'll write with framing our stepmothers but this certainly does not exclude stepfathers.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

2,099 views2.5/5 (8)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Financial Crisis ... What do we tell our kids?

When the rest of the world is reporting financial doom and gloom, what do our teens think? In a generation which we see more and more young people struggling with hopelessness, is this media frenzy really helping?

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

2,743 views2/5 (5)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

But, You Don't Know My Ex!

This is one of the most common comments heard when talking with people about an Ex. Those of us who are parents and inside a Complex Family often have an Ex, and we normally believe it is near impossible to get on with them. Let's face it, it didn't work when we were married or partners, so why would it now? But it needs too - if only for the kid's sake!

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

2,954 views2/5 (4)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

To speak ill of your Ex with your child says "I love you, but biologically you're 50% a jerk!"

Speaking poorly of your child's other parent is one of the largest issues overlooked by co-parents - and yet it is one of the easiest for you to resolve. The reasons (or should I say excuses) that it is acceptable to slag off about your Ex to your children are numerous and yet the confusion that it causes in their life is immeasurable.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

2,742 views1.8/5 (5)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Beyond Split & Broken - Complex Instead

Statistically, the effects of divorce on our society are difficult to prove although there are figures bandied around. What we do know is that some people go on and have far better lives and some don't. For majority however, we can say divorce carved its mark on our life and we live with it for the rest of our days - for better or worse.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

2,403 views1.8/5 (6)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Shared Parenting? How to handle your Handovers - Drop Offs & Pick Ups

If you dread handovers - you're not alone. If you are frustrated because you've managed to get your kids to tidy up the house before the Ex comes to collect them, and before you know it, they're sick of waiting so it's once again transformed into the bomb-site it was only half an hour ago ... you're reading the right stuff then. It's so annoying that your Ex can still make it rain on your sunny day through a single quick remark that's just thrown in at the handovers.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

4,590 views1.5/5 (2)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

World peace? How about Home Peace first...

We are all inspired at one time or another to embrace the vision and dream of world peace. We love what opportunities this brings and we dream of a world where we move beyond a fear and engage in the concept of difference not being judged, but rather celebrated. We become excited by the chances of pooling resources to solve basic human existence issues - that could all easily be funded by the redundancy of weapons and the banishment of immoral political power.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

2,287 views2/5 (4)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Children - Wherever You Are, Be There!

I believe most of us have what it takes to be genuinely great parents; regardless if we have been separated, divorced or attempting to co-parent. More often than not, it is through our efforts to juggle an already rather hectic lifestyle that we neglect some of the most crucial aspects of parenting. Beyond the basic requirements of love, nurturing, food, clothing, shelter, and education, the next layer involves four key elements. These four key elements are: Time, Structure, Stimulation, and Protection. Today's article is to look at Time.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

2,454 views1.8/5 (4)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Matrimony to Acrimony or Harmony?

The choice is yours ... this is how you make it. The importance of the choices you make when your marriage ends through which children were born into this world, becomes more apparent as time continues to march forward. Each step takes us down one of two pathways - acrimony or harmony. Time would have us believe it heals or erodes our chances for change, however mercifully, we are still granted our freedom of choice. This choice is where we choose to have the best relationship with our Ex as possible at any time - and now is that time.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

2,008 views2/5 (4)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Do You Say "Tomorrow I'll do better", Yet by 8am You're Yelling at Your Children?

Most parents put their hand up and say, "Yes, me too!" Exhausted from a day of nagging, yelling and demanding your children do things faster, better, or do something at all, you flop into bed and wish for more peace in home. With your head chu ing, you long for a better way to do things and hope for a little courage so you can try harder tomorrow.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

1,575 views2/5 (4)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Children Adjusting When They're Home From The Ex's Place

Do you find it takes time for your children to settle in when they come back from your Ex's place? If you're like me, sometimes I wonder what goes on there that means they have to change so much. I mean, they've only been away a weekend and yet it feels like I get completely different children back. I've then got to start again on the 'house rules' and try and get them to settle again. Does this sound like you too?

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

1,586 views1.8/5 (4)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Do I have to share my kids with my Ex?

Why do you want to spend less time with your children when growing up happens so quickly these days? Don't you look back on how many years have gone already and wonder how it's passed so fast?! And to think you've got to spend less time with your children because your Ex wants them, is gut-wrenching to most of us. Divorce hurts - it hurts us in different ways, but it hurts us all the same!

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

1,985 views1.5/5 (2)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Working out Shared-Parenting Routine Biggies

Many questions have been coming in about the biggies. So what are the biggies? It's the problems that people are having with their Ex's over issues like geographical differences. The emotional differences between the two houses and what you're meant to do about it. And, of course, money ... there always has to be money! I've decided to work on answering as much of this as practical in this email, without making it so huge, you'll switch off anyway. First up, let's look at two geographical questions that I've received:

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

1,873 views1.5/5 (2)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Co-Parenting weekend off? My House is Quiet ... Too Quiet!

Do you dream of the moment when you can have a bath undisturbed, or go out somewhere (anywhere, you're not fussy!) without taking an hour to get everyone into the car? That time has come ... you've got a weekend to yourself and ... Instead, you can't decide what to do! You want to make the most of it because, WOW, you don't get these so it's more important you make great choices now than ever! You've waited so long for free time, you're not even sure what to do with free time now...

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

1,802 views1.5/5 (2)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Co-Parenting? What To Do with Lateness or No-Shows with Your Ex

Albert Einstein when asked of "Relativity" answered with this. "Relativity: An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour." So what does this have to do with your Ex showing up late? Don't we all know how long 10 minutes can be when you're the one who's doing the waiting ... and also how quickly it flies by when you're running late!

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

1,682 views1.5/5 (2)

By Jill DarceyRecently published1 topic

Do My Children Have One Home or Two?

I'd like to firstly take your attention for a few minutes while I answer a really important question that I've been asked ... "Are my children meant to have one or two homes now we're divorced?" It's strange that this is one of the most confusing for parents to come to terms with - and yet it's not. What you're about to learn is going to give you the opportunity to understand more about your Ex - and while that may not really seem that important to you - it is to your children.

Primary topic: Blended Families

Blended Families

1,496 views

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