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Browse published articles attributed to Julie Donley, with full-archive search.
There’s an art to getting things done without creating a stressful environment. When you find yourself with too many things to do and not enough time to do them, stress rises. And at times, panic can set in. Instead of trying to schedule it all in, take some time to identify your priorities. ...
Has anyone ever spoken to you in an inappropriate manner? Often people are caught off guard and are not prepared to handle these challenging situations. But, as a leader, whenever you are in a situation that’s uncomfortable, it’s imperative that you speak up; the person needs to know that the ...
Do you apologize for anything and everything? Do you apologize for things that are completely out of your control? How about apologizing for other people’s behavior? Do you tend to apologize just to see if the other person will apologize? An apology can be a very cathartic act. It can mend fences and build bridges. It is an act of a true leader when you are able to admit a wrong or mistake. An apology done well is powerful. For this reason, making an apology should be taken very seriously.
Does your work environment bring out the best in you or the worst? When you leave work, do you feel drained, exhausted and even angry? Do you generally feel like you are dodging bullets all day? It happened to me the other day. As a practicing RN, I take shifts at a local, acute care psychiatric hospital.
Staying Positive in a Negative Environment By Julie Fuimano, Executive Coach Probably one of the hardest things we must do as leaders is to stay positive when everyone else around us is negative. It’s not easy to maintain a positive attitude and not be drained or consumed by the negativity that ...
As you know, being a manager is no easy task. And if you’ve been promoted from a technical position you may not be prepared to meet the demands of your new position. For some, managing comes naturally while others struggle with creating cohesive teams, handling staff difficulties and producing ...
“You cannot look at someone’s exterior and know what’s going on inside.” This quote from the book The Journey Called YOU is a very profound statement because what it means is that looks can be very deceiving; someone who seems to have it all together may in fact be living a life of lies.
Most people experience self-doubt on a regular basis and I am not immune. I have spent entirely too much of my life trying to accept myself as I am. While easy for me to see how wonderful and special you are, it was a challenge for many years to see myself in the same light. It’s no wonder that my first book focuses on “self-discovery and acceptance.” And it’s no wonder that my journey led me into psychiatric nursing and success coaching not only to work on my own personal development, but to assist others in their personal leadership development as well.
Being a nurse used to be associated with the white starched dress uniform and cap. When you saw someone in that uniform, it meant purity, compassion and care. It also used to mean handmaiden or the “one who takes orders.” These days few people still wear white and even fewer wear dresses. Many ...
You talk about how you want something different in your life – a new house, a better relationship with your spouse (or to find a spouse), get out of debt, or lose weight – but nothing changes. You find that you spend (waste) a lot of time talking about it, but not doing anything about it. How do you motivate yourself to change? There are two ways people will change, either by choice or by force. Neither one is very pretty. Change by Forcer
Why does change have to be so darn hard? We struggle to lose weight, get in shape, eliminate debt and stay (happily) married. Health issues such as heart disease, depression, addiction and obesity - preventable illnesses – are rampant. Why is it so hard to change? The answer to this question describing eight strategies for success can be found in my new book, Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?, now available in bookstores.
Have you ever had anyone speak to you in a tone that made you feel uncomfortable? And yet, you said nothing. Have you ever done something for someone or with someone that you really didn’t want to do? And yet, you did it anyway, only to become resentful later. Every time you say nothing, every ...
It has been echoed through the ages that what we think about is what we bring about and our thoughts actually create our reality. James Allen’s book, “As A Man Thinketh” was written in the late 19th century to communicate this concept at great length. Steven Covey calls it the “first creation”, ...
Change is often very difficult for people to accept and yet it’s happening every minute. The only thing certain is change. When you find that things are not as you want them to be in your life, it’s time to get comfortable with change. The Comfort Zone Change means many things to people. It ...
I was recently asked to address the issue of conflict resolution at the hospital of one of our clients. In today’s fast-paced and stressed-out society, conflict resolution is a critical issue. People don’t always have the time or the tools to handle conflict. The word ‘conflict’ connotes ...
Death. No one wants to talk about it and yet none of us will escape it. When it happens to someone we know, most people don’t know how to handle it. And it’s because people are uncomfortable about it and it’s so final that people fear the most. In fact, there’s only one thing that tops death on ...
Challenge: I’m a new manager leading a team of sales professionals. One of my associates is very negative and does minimal work. While he meets quota, he could do so much more and his negativity impacts the other members of our team. He’s been with our company for a number of years and it seems ...
In 2005, as president of the Philadelphia Chapter of the International Coach Federation, I held a meeting with the Board of Directors because in some areas we seemed to be hitting snags in accomplishing our objectives. While people were working hard and committed to achieving our goals, we were off base with some of our efforts. People needed to be focused and reoriented so I designed an outline for understanding productivity in a more strategic manner. When operating as part of a high level team, it’s essential that all parties are on the same page and operating in harmony.
What is important to you in life? Do you know what your values are? Values are those things that are priorities. These can be anything from nature and beauty, adventure, learning, having fun, or honor and integrity. You know these things because when you see them in others, they bring you joy. When you experience them for yourself, they bring you joy. And when you don’t have enough of them in your life, you feel empty, like life has lost meaning. Too often, however, we live life without our values leading the way.
Having clear goals is important to ensure successful living. With a vision in mind and landmarks for achieving success, you add direction and focus to your personal and professional life. It’s like taking both hands and grabbing hold of the steering wheel of the car called life and steering into ...
“When I try to do the work, to approach a task or push through my procrastination, a battle ensues in my mind. I wind up feeling so intimidated that I take a seat and let the battle go on. I get so distracted that I’m paralyzed and I don’t get done whatever I wanted to do. It’s limiting – it limits my ability to set goals and to dream of new things in my life. It tears me down and I feel like I have no control – that my life is out of my control.
Overwhelmed? It happens to the best of us at times. Some people live in a constant state of overwhelm. Knowing yourself, being aware of your abilities, and creating an environment that nurtures your success can help to alleviate or minimize overwhelm. You also must learn to stand up for yourself and create good boundaries with your time and your workload. This can be quite difficult for people who enjoy pleasing others, who seek reassurance and approval from others, or who have an inner barometer that just doesn’t know when to say “no.” Overwhelm means you need to simplify.
“Neither a borrower, nor a lender be,” cautions Shakespeare in Hamlet. The reality is, most of us carry debt. From a money management standpoint, that is not necessarily bad. Sometimes debt is good. Sometimes it’s downright ugly. The key is to carry the right kind of debt, and not too much of ...
Change is constant. We just aren’t always aware nor do we pay attention to every change that we make through the course of a day. But when big changes occur, like a layoff or termination of employment, we stand up and take notice. We have to!
People have many different financial goals, but one they share in common is to be financially independent. I define that as the time when we conclude that our annual expenses can be covered for the rest of our lives without working any longer. Calculating your expenses over the next 25-40 years ...
Wondering what to do and what time frame to do your investing in? Here are some ideas to assist you in your investments. Stick with stock funds. As long as you have five or more years until you need the money, stock funds will likely provide you with superior returns over any other ...
Ok, so you turn the calendar to a New Year and suddenly you think something should change. You’ll get those pesky 20 pounds off once and for all! Or you’ll definitely get promoted or change jobs this year. Or perhaps this is the year you will have a better relationship with your spouse – or your kids – or your parents… The list goes on and on.
Life is so fast-paced today with people trying to do so much that many people find themselves stressed to the max. By maintaining a state of constant busyness, people run themselves into exhaustion. And, at the end of the day, they’re thinking, “There’s got to be a better way.” Life is not a ...
Change occurs constantly. Things move so fast today, people cannot keep up. With every change, there is a process that occurs. The process is called transition and there are three stages: an ending, middle and a new beginning. These stages can happen separately or simultaneously. Depending upon ...
Have you ever had anyone speak to you in a tone that made you feel uncomfortable? And yet, you said nothing. Have you ever done something for someone or with someone that you really didn’t want to do? And yet, you did it anyway, only to become resentful later. Every time you say nothing, every ...
Change is often very difficult for people to accept and yet it’s happening every minute. The only thing certain is change. When you find that things are not as you want them to be in your life, it’s time to get comfortable with change. The Comfort Zone Change means many things to people. It ...
At a recent outing, a woman seated near us lit a cigarette. My 7 year-old-son commented to her, “Smoking is bad for you.” At which the woman replied, “Yes, so make sure you never start.” Every day you wake up, you make literally hundreds of choices. You choose your mood and your attitude. You ...
Throughout the day, you greet people, have conversations, and attend meetings. Every communication impacts you in some way, either adding value to you or depleting you. Communication is an extremely potent personal power and you need to learn to use it wisely. For instance, do your ...
What? Lateral violence? What’s that? Lateral violence, also known as horizontal abuse or violence, is the disruptive, disrespectful or antagonistic behavior of others on the same hierarchical level within an organization. Lateral violence, in essence, is abusive acts committed against people you work with; people just like you who are making a living doing something they (hopefully) enjoy, and who are doing the best they can.
Every morning you get out of bed and go about your day. You say good bye to your spouse, get the kids off to school, and make your way to your job. At work, you attend meetings, greet customers, and chat with colleagues. Maybe you go to the gym a few times during the week. Weekends, you spend ...
Everyone experiences self-doubt at some point in our lives. For many people, self-doubt can be pervasive, even crippling. It can impact your relationships. It destroys confidence. It causes procrastination or lack of effort. It can be extremely frustrating to live with the reverberating voice in ...
A key element in creating a team is establishing trust. Most people are familiar with environments where trust is absent where you cannot simply be yourself for fear of reprisal or ridicule. So instead, you shrink, hide your true self and create a façade, play the game and work the political ...
You’re really frustrated. Angry. There is so much happening in your life and you have so many emotions floating around you can’t think straight. You’re tired. You’re moody. Ok, even irritable. Friends are complaining. Your spouse is complaining. Your kids hide when they see you. So you withdraw and say very little. Then colleagues ask, “What’s wrong?” You just want everyone to leave you alone! The thing is you have so much emotional energy you really don’t know what’s wrong! You don’t know what you feel! But you do know that soon, you just might explode! Why does this happen?
Probably one of the hardest things we must do as leaders is to stay positive when everyone else around us is negative. It’s not easy to maintain a positive attitude and not be drained or consumed by the negativity that surrounds you. But as a leader, that’s exactly what you must do. ...
Do you find yourself at the mercy of your emotions, a victim of reaction, behaving in ways that you’re not proud of and often regret? Are you one of the millions of people who avoid conflict and confrontation because you don’t know how to deal with other people’s emotions? ...
Consider the thoughts that go through your mind on a daily basis – the fears, doubts, criticisms, and judgments. If you knew that other people have the same thoughts about life, their mate, their kids, the organization, about their co-workers and bosses, and about themselves as you have, ...
Have you ever had an argument? It’s a silly question, for sure. Everyone has. You know, in that moment, when you’re so sure that you’re right, when you just wish the other person would hear you - your version of reality, that is, your right way of looking at the world. If they would only understand the world the way you do, everything would be fine! But then, they are thinking the same thing in that moment, believing you should listen to them. Their way, after all, is the right way, the only way.
“I am seen as a pillar of strength. I was brought up this way. I don’t show my emotions or to talk about the bad stuff going on in my life. When people ask how I’m doing, I say, ‘I’m fine.’ As a nurse, I am always there for others. I don’t want to have to ask for help or lean on others for ...
There is a pervasive discontent in our society today. We seem to be suffering from an epidemic of unhappiness. Why do some of us seem to constantly be looking for something that we simply never quite seem to catch up to? What causes this discontent and how can we overcome it? In your mind, you ...
Most of us have come face to face with intimidation at some point either at work or in our personal lives. It’s never easy because at the moment it occurs, there are two big things to manage: • YOU and your emotional state and • The other person’s behavior You have to assert yourself in a way that defuses the bully and his or her anger while at the same time managing the rage that is exploding inside you.
When I started my career in health care nearly 20 years ago, I was struck by the compassion and care with which nurses and other professionals gave of themselves to their patients. It felt like home to me as I embarked upon my career as a caring professional. But I also noticed how unhappy and stressed people were. I noticed that people who CARE often do not show that same level of compassion to themselves or to coworkers. In nursing, especially, there was an “eat their young” mentality.
‘Care’ or compassion is an essential ingredient in the profession of nursing as well as many other caring professions. Without compassion, you might as well come up with another name for “nurse” because without “care” it’s not “nursing”. But it’s not just nursing that requires compassion, or caring professions for that matter. Everyone you interact with over the course of your day has the right to some level of respect. Oftentimes, people are so focused on their own agenda that they forget they are dealing with other human beings with their own agenda and priorities.
What is the experience you provide for others? Consider how your presence and behavior impacts your employees, your colleagues, your boss, your children, your parents, your spouse. The experience people have when they are with you, when they enter your department or have dealings with your department, will create memories and have lasting impact. “People may not remember what you say, but they remember how they feel when they are with you.” rn~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thousands of thoughts go through your mind in the course of your day and each day you make many choices. Your choices intend to bring you the greatest value. Your perception of what adds value is based on your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and habits. These were created from your life experiences ...
You are asked to join a committee that meets over lunch every Friday. You promised yourself you would refrain from any additional committee work. This also means you need to tell Jane you can no longer join her for power walks. “We need you to finish the outline for the project team. ...