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Browse published articles attributed to Linda Sapadin, with full-archive search.
Since the beginning of time, people have been prone to procrastinate. Some of them are embarrassed by it (“Sorry, I’m late.”), some brag about it (“I put the “pro” in procrastination”) and still others have created a holiday for it.
The American Psychiatric Association is now working on the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, otherwise known as the DSM. There will be some new categories as well as some possible exclusions of what is considered a “mental illness.”
Seventeen millio Americans today are taking antidepressants, spending 11.3 billion dollars for the privilege of doing so. Kind of depressing, wouldn’t you say? Rather than get depressed, however, I get angry. Why? Because we have been fed so many phony “facts” about depression, we now simply accept them as true when we should really be applauding the drug companies for a super successful relentless marketing campaign. You hear the ads everywhere. But here’s what you won’t hear about anti-depressant drugs.
“I don’t believe in psychotherapy.” “Therapy is for crazy people; you’re not crazy.” “Therapy is for narcissists who just like to hear themselves talk.” “Therapy is for weak wimps who can’t solve their own problems.” “Therapy is for whiners who complain about everything.” “Therapy is like talking to a friend; why pay someone when you can talk to me?” “Therapists are crazier than you are; why listen to them?”
Some narcissists are obviously obnoxious, offensive and obstinate. Others, however, present as attractive, appealing, easy-going people. It’s not until a direct confrontation occurs that their narcissism becomes obvious. Summon up the courage to tell him (or her) that he’s being self-centered and he’ll either continue doing whatever he was doing as if you hadn’t said anything at all or he will become irate. “Me? Me? Self-centered? How do you think that makes ME feel?”
Guidelines for a Good Wife "1. A good wife always knows her place. 2. Don’t ask your husband questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. He is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fai ess and truthfulness. You have no right to question ...
Role Reversal – the Good, the Bad and the Unexpected Have you sometimes wished that your spouse (or someone else close to you) could walk in your shoes for just one day? And did you hope that this role reversal would enable your spouse to have a better perspective on what your day is really ...
Gradually, unwittingly, we often overload our electrical systems at home until a circuit breaker pops. It may begin with the purchase of a newer, more powerful computer. That computer necessitates having a state-of-the art printer. Then, before you know it, you are the proud owner of a scanner, ...
The Seeds of Marital Conflict Her Version: “They married and lived happily ever after.” Though no modern woman would ever admit to believing in such a fairy tale ending, conflicts often originate and are perpetuated because she believes the relationship “is not romantic enough” or “not the way it used to be.”
Can Men and Women Be Friends? By Dr. Linda Sapadin - Psychologist www.PsychWisdom.com It’s been 20 years since the witty romantic comedy - When Harry Met Sally - explored the still debatable question- “Can Women and Men be Friends?” There are those who say ‘No’. Heterosexual men and women can‘t be true friends. Blame the hormones! Attribute it to jealousy from a spouse! Point the finger at the predatory nature of men (and aggressive women) who “want only one thing”! Or simply remember that men and women come from different planets and interplanetary friendships have never worked!
Many of today’s kids have been brought up hearing about how “special” and “smart” they are. The unintended consequence of this type of upbringing, (which, on the surface, seems like a wonderful way to build self-confidence and self-esteem), is that kids actually believe that they are special and superior to others – including their parents.
Women’s minds are often on overdrive. We notice details. We have high expectations. We expect fai ess. We become frustrated when things aren’t the way they’re supposed to be. What does this all add up to? Frustrated women! Upset women! Mad women! Gone are the days when women would simply demure to others’ wishes. Gone are the days when women would squash their feelings in the name of femininity. Today’s women speak up. They vent their anger, even at the risk of gaining a reputation as a shrew, a nag, a bitch, a ball-buster.
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s the hushed voice at the end of an exhausting day that says, “I’m still here. You can count on me.” Heroism doesn’t always bellow. Sometimes it’s the quiet stillness at the end of a tough road that says, “I get it. I accept it, even though it's hard for me.”
A New Normal - for kids and for adults. Constantly busy. Always on the go. Rush, rush, rush. So much to do. We don’t “go” to the store anymore; we “run” to the store. We’re not just “busy” anymore; we’re “crazy busy.” We don’t rest and relax anymore; we have stuff to do 24/7. We don’t pay attention to just one thing at a time; we’re tuned in to multiple things. Have we all become ADD (attention deficit disorder)? Check it out. Here are a dozen symptoms of the disorder that have become the norm in our overly stressed lives.
If your relationship is on life support, it’s time for serious remediation. Here are two “must-do” assignments for you. 1. Stop the Zero Sum Game. Start a Team Effort A zero sum game is a game where there’s a winner and a loser. It’s a great model for competitive sports but a miserable model for personal relationships. So, if you’ve been playing a zero sum game or a game of tug-of-war with your spouse, quit. Right now. Quit. Simply drop the rope.
A recent article in the Wall St. journal, “For a Nation of Whiners, Therapists Try Tough Love”, has created quite a stir in the psychological community. The author advocates that therapists should provide ‘tough love’ for their clients, firing those who can’t stop complaining. “Crybabies be gone!” is her rallying cry. A bit harsh, I’d say. This psychologist believes that a little bit of whining is good for your health. Here's why:
Sure, you've thought about curtailing your procrastination habit instead of trying to justify it. But it's hard to do. You have your ingrained patterns. You're always busy with something. There are never enough hours in the day. If you've been unsuccessful so far, it could be that you haven't found the right approach. Most 'how-to' programs highlight developing better organizational skills and discipline. Those are good skills to learn; but they're not enough. Why not? Because many habits - including procrastination - are driven by unconscious personality traits and emotional needs.
Delivering bad news is never easy. Whether it’s “I’m breaking up with you”, “You’re fired” or “You’ve got cancer”, there’s no pleasant way to deliver these messages. There are, on the other hand, quite a number of ways to make ...
Your feelings are significant. Your opinion counts. Your ideas are valuable. Yet, all too often, if you give voice to these matters in the middle of a heated exchange, your input will be distorted or discarded. Indeed, striking while the iron is hot may get you scalded. Though you may be ...
Goodbye trophy wife. Hello, trophy kids. Young, gorgeous women hanging on the arms of an older, affluent guy is so yesterday. Alpha kids with high status achievements are the trophies of today. Yes, raising kids with every imaginable benefit can pay off. Many of them are remarkably talented in diverse areas - not only academically but in technology, sports, drama, music, art, dance and more. You name the field, you probably know someone who knows someone whose kid won a regional, national or international award for achievement in that field.
You’re in a groove. You’re on track. You’re inspired. You’re filled with confidence. And then you’re not. It’s over – at least for now. You’re in a rut. You’re off track. You’re discouraged. Your commitment wavers. What do you do? It’s the norm, not the exception, to lapse into a rut. These times may come as part of a general slump in your life or as a response to a challenging situation that’s getting you down.
A Secret You Don’t Want to Know By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. Psst, want to hear a secret? A secret that will bring you wealth, health and a svelte body with little if any effort? Looks like a lot of people want to hear just such a secret. So many that the very attractive looking book “The Secret” ...
Does the way you dress affect how you feel about yourself? There are two schools of thought. One says: “It’s not the wrapping that matters; it’s the person unde eath that radiates confidence or beams out insecurity. I dress for comfort and couldn’t care less about the “in” style of the moment.” The other says: It’s naïve to think that appearances don’t matter. Sure, it would be great if appearance had no effect on confidence, but get real. If you’re feeling fat, wearing the “wrong” clothes, having a bad hair day, how can these factors not detract from how you feel?
For many women, the perennial ete al triangle between men, women and football is coming to a close – for this year anyway. Depending upon when you're reading this, Super Bowl is now history (or almost history). You’ve got your husband back. Though if you’re not rejoicing, it may mean that your man has simply switched to another sport. If it’s not football, it’s baseball, basketball, golf, soccer or tennis. What’s a woman to do?
By now, we’ve all gotten it through our heads that physical exercise is important. Even champion couch potatoes can no longer deny the evidence that vigorous activity improves agility, stamina, fitness and overall well-being, from youth well into old age. If however, despite all the evidence, you still insist upon sitting on your duff day after day, your muscles will weaken, your body will sag and your energy will dissipate. There is no way you can escape yourself.
“Help! My sweet, nice, lovely 3-year-old has begun lying to me. What should I do?” First thing you should do is feel pleased, maybe even proud that your child is learning how to lie. “Whaaat? You’ve got to be kidding” No, I’m serious. Lying is a milestone in cognitive development. It ...