Loading the searchable article library…
Browse published articles attributed to Lisa Kift, with full-archive search.
I've been asked this question enough times that I decided to expand on the topic in this article. Therapists will likely have slightly different interpretations of what it is - and how to go about doing the therapy work itself. My definition of "family of origin work" in it's simplest form is, ...
I don’t subscribe to the notion that “marriages should be easy.” What I do believe is that marriages are hard work and they require time, attention and nurturing to continue to flourish. If you consider how much people change over the years, think about how a relationship would inevitably ...
Adult anxiety has many faces, manifestations and levels. The anxiety disorder I’ve had the most contact with in my experience as a therapist is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and from here on when I speak of “anxiety” I will be referring to this. I work from a family of origin perspective, ...
Most simply stated, empathy is the ability to put oneself in another's shoes - and also the willingness to respond to the person's needs. I believe it's one of the most important components of a happy, healthy relationship. Lack of empathy is a very common problem with couples. Many people never ...
If there's one thing that we all seek - it's happiness. I've never met a person who has told me they didn't want to be happy, have you? When I do individual therapy, I have the opportunity to sit down with people as they present their conce s to me - whatever they may be. They usually seek ...
People who struggle with setting boundaries for themselves often struggle with saying "no." Using that word can literally bring up discomfort for them. For this reason, they over commit, don't end up with any time for themselves and can even be taken advantage of by others. Their friends, ...
Anger is one of the four primary emotions and has a very good purpose of alerting us to our boundaries being crossed by others. It serves us well when it's expressed in a healthy way. However, when anger becomes screaming, ranting, raving, or becoming physical with another person, you may have a ...
People who suffer with the distressing symptoms of anxiety often experience rumination, or recurrent worry and thought spinning. This can greatly impact sleep and daily living. The negative cyclical thinking tends to have a spiraling effect - where the person ends up at the worst possible ...
None of has unlimited time. Professionals or executives often find themselves in a pressure-cooker environment as they manage people, make costly decisions or determine directions of their organizations - on top of their obligations to family and friends. How they manage their time is critical ...
Most couples spend more time planning their weddings than their marriages! With divorce rates at an all time high, it seems that couples are facing more challenges than ever in preserving their relationship stability. In my relationship counseling work as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I’ve ...
Most couples spend more time planning their weddings than their marriages! With divorce rates at an all time high, it seems that couples are facing more challenges than ever in preserving their relationship stability. In my relationship counseling work as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I’ve ...
I've written a lot about healthy relationships and what aspects successful couples have that make them unique. As I continue my couples therapy work I continue to gather more information about relationships, the importance of good couples communication, their most significant sticking points - ...
Couples seek relationship counseling for numerous reasons. As a professional who works with many different couples with a variety of issues, I’ve identified one similar thread that runs through all of them. Their relationships lack in varying degrees of “emotional safety.” Typically, the ...
In my work with couples as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I’ve concluded that there are certain aspects that determine the strength of a couple’s relationship foundation - that is, the relationship’s ability to stand strong in the face of the things that life throws out, be it normal daily ...
In this fast-paced, dog-eat-dog world we live in, super-achievers often find themselves at the top of the heap in their professions. They’re the ones who eat, breathe and sleep their jobs, race out of the house, briefcase and PDA in hand, occasionally a quick kiss to the spouse and kid on the ...
One thing I notice in a lot of couples who come through my door is a lack of balance in their relationship. What do I mean by this? When two people come together there are now three parts to this system; “you,” “me,” and “we.” Imagine if you draw two overlapping circles. There are ...