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Articles by Margaret Meloni

Browse published articles attributed to Margaret Meloni, with full-archive search.

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By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

How Did That Feel?

Mary Carol arrived at the hospital too late, Lydia had just died. Mary Carol and her co-workers all knew that Lydia was dying. Lydia had been fighting cancer for several months and unfortunately she did not respond to the treatment. Mary Carol was coming to say goodbye. She said her good byes and helped the family as best she could. Then she placed a call to Gina. Mary Carol worked for Gina and so had Lydia. When Gina did not reply to her call, Mary Carol left another message. Gina never replied to Mary Carols call.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

745 views4/5 (2)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Garbage In, Garbage Out

It’s the end of a long day. You started the day early in order to meet a deadline and you ended the day late to meet that same deadline. The good news is that you reached your goal. The bad news is that traffic on the way home was miserable. When you arrive home you can’t wait to sit on the couch and just be a vegetable. Some mindless entertainment sounds perfect. Now it is Friday evening and it has been one tough week. You had planned to attend a seminar Saturday morning, but now you think it would feel better to sleep late.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

924 views4/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Creatures of Habit

Jeanette and Rusty left work early to compare notes. Both of them worked for the same director and both of them were unhappy with their performance reviews. Jeanette had tried to discreetly ask her peers about their performance reviews, but Rusty seemed to be the only other manager who was upset. Over a glass of wine, Jeanette began her rant: “I think that every year the boss has to have at least two people who receive poor appraisals or he just doesn’t think he is being tough enough.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

900 views4/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

***Would the REAL You Please Stand Up?

Mary Carol read the email from Tisha and was really annoyed. She had just met with Tisha yesterday and everything seemed fine. Now here was this really harsh email. It made no sense.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,347 views3/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

***What Could Happen

When you are facing a difficult decision sometimes the best thing to do is to sit back and analyze the potential outcomes from your decision. What path will each outcome create for you? Trace that path to its natural termination. Are you OK with this path? In other words: If you do X, what is the worst thing that could happen? Now, what is the best thing that could happen? Are you prepared for both scenarios?

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,300 views3/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Causing a Scene

Scene 1, Take 1 In this movie version of 'The Life of a Team Member' (working title); the camera pans slowly across what appears to be a corporate office. We see workers dressed in business casual walking the hallways, coming in and out of conference rooms and sitting in cubicles. Two team members are talking outside a conference room door. As the camera closes in on the two we hear their conversation:

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,932 views2/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Be Yourself

"Do I have to be an extravert to be a good leader?" "Do I have to be able to walk up to strangers and strike up conversations to be a successful leader?" My answer to both of the above: no and no! I receive both of the above (or similar) questions all the time. For some reason people who are less outgoing think that if they cannot walk around glad handing people like politicians, that they will never be successful leaders. Funny thing, I have never had someone ask me “Hey, do I need to dial it down a bit and be less outgoing to be a good leader?”

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,916 views2/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Are You in Control?

The scene below depicts Jane and her behavior while in a bad mood. In this potential scenario Jane is being really hateful: “Do you think you could stop surfing the web long enough to get me a latte? I would hate to think your horoscope for the day includes bad customer service.” For some reason, snapping at the coffee house barista made Jane feel just a bit better. Jane slammed some money on the counter and waited for her coffee.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

806 views3/5 (2)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Stop Wasting Time

So there you are in line at the grocery store or the hardware store or the bank. It could be anyplace really. You could be on hold waiting for a customer service representative or waiting for a meeting to begin. You have time on your hands, what do you do with that time? What time, you ask? You really do not plan on being in line or on hold or waiting for more than five minutes. It's not a large block of time. What difference can it make? The difference it makes depends on how you spend that time. Do you: - Spend it being annoyed that you have to wait?

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,344 views2/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Principled Negotiations

So much of your life is a negotiation. At home you negotiate your children's bed times, what time dinner will be ready, whose family you visit for the holidays and many other items. At work you negotiate difficult deadlines, impossible budgets and over-allocated resources (including your own over-allocation).

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,284 views2/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

What’s Your Motivation?

Jane had a tough decision to make. She had two strong candidates for her former Director of Software Development position. Newly promoted to CIO (Chief Information Officer) Jane needed to backfill her old position quickly. This was the first decision she would make in her new role, so selecting the right candidate was truly critical. While Jane was still in her previous position, she had worked with a leadership coach. The coach introduced Jane and her direct reports to the concept of EQ or Emotional Intelligence. The concept of EQ really resonated with Jane.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

839 views3/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Decisions, Decisions

“Tom I really think that when there is a technical decision to be made, it makes perfects sense for you to delegate the decision to Simon. After all he is our technical lead.” Marilyn chimed in, “I agree with Jacob. I think the trick is that you need to make it clear that you trust Simon to make the call.”

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,183 views2/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Are You Aware?

Scene One: “Do you think you could stop surfing the web long enough to get me a latte? I would hate to think your horoscope for the day includes bad customer service.” For some reason, snapping at the coffee house barista made Jane feel just a bit better. Jane slammed some money on the counter and waited for her coffee. When it was ready she picked it up and marched out of the coffee house, letting the door close in the face of the person walking out behind her. Wow, Jane really seems to be in a bad mood.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

707 views3/5 (1)

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

When to Be Aggressive

Is an aggressive communication style always bad? Sometimes it appears that much of the information about aggressive styles or dominant personalities is presented using fairly negative words. Or is it that I interpret these words as negative? Here is a list, what do you think? • Domineering • Hostile • Uncooperative • Confrontational Of course I have a bias. So do you. We all come from different perspectives and different styles. These styles are shaped by our personality type, our preferred behavioral styles, how we deal with conflict and our cultural and emotional backgrounds.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

2,289 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

It's OK to Change Your Mind

Jarrod listened to what the team had to say and then he reached a decision. He was very comfortable making decisions and most of his decisions played out well for him and for his team. His decision making style typically involved soliciting input from his most trusted team members and then using that information to determine an action plan. His team knew how he liked to work, so they understood what to expect.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

2,227 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Narrow YOUR Focus, Increase YOUR Impact

I do not know about you, but every once in a while when I think about all of the different causes I could join I start feeling overwhelmed. We have so much to do for our planet, our creatures and our people. Where do I start? Where do I place my focus? How can I make a difference? Then I remember this quote, a quote I love and use: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,997 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

The Art of No

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair No is not always negative. It is not a bad or incorrect response. Saying no does not make you a difficult or uncooperative person. Read that again, out loud. Saying no is more honest than a false yes, it will help you develop clarity about your intentions and it really sets you free.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,744 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Bad Company

“It is better to be alone than in bad company.” - George Washington Other people do form opinions about you based on your group associations. This is also why good employees leave bad teams. They simply do not want to be associated with a group that has a bad reputation. They rarely hang around to try and improve that reputation; they get away from it as fast as they can.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,709 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

***The Little Things DO Count

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo Buscaglia

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,603 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Be Skeptical

Be skeptical but learn to listen. This seems like an interesting agreement to use in navigating today’s world. By agreement I mean a treaty or contract that you have made with yourself. I can’t take credit for this idea; it comes from ‘The Fifth Agreement’ by Don Miguel Ruiz and his son Don Jose Ruiz. Whether you acknowledge it or not you use agreements in each aspect of your life – personal and professional. You believe that you cannot write or that you cannot handle stress. These are agreements and based on them you make decisions.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,589 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Likeability

Likeability – That which makes someone likeable or easy to like, easy to be with, considered pleasant to be around.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,570 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

***Thinking Alike or Not Thinking?

It sure is easy when everyone agrees with you and tells you what you want to hear. But sometimes what we want to hear is not what we NEED to hear. This is when you need a dose of conflict or opposition or a contrarian. Unless you and all of your ideas are absolutely perfect 100% of the time, it is unusual for everyone to agree with you. If they do, is it because they are afraid to tell you what they really think? Are they apathetic? Or have you surrounded yourself with ‘Yes People’ who are too much like you?

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,544 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Avoid Communications Chaos

We have so many different ways to communicate with one another. We can pick up the phone and call using either a land line or a cell phone; we can send an email or a text using our computers or our various handheld devices and we can ‘tweet’ and ‘friend’ and make all kinds of connections AND we can still send a written note on an actual piece of paper. Does having all of these options make communications easier? Not necessarily. Sometimes we still experience communication chaos.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,501 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Conflicted Priorities Equal Conflicted Behavior

It was 4:45pm and the requirements review meeting had already gone fifteen minutes beyond the scheduled end time. Joe was becoming agitated. He needed to get out the door at 5:00 pm exactly in order to pick up his daughter from soccer practice. The meeting was not showing any signs of wrapping up. He let out a big sigh. He pointedly looked at his watch. Finally Joe blurted out “Who cares if the report displays in landscape or portrait format, just list the fields you need on the report and move on.”

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,464 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

People Do Not Leave the Company

“I disliked working with those people so much that I don’t even know if I hate doing this for a living or it was just those people at THAT place.” - Anonymous Unfortunately this quote or versions of this quote are not unique to any specific individual. Isn’t that sad? I have heard it on more than on occasion.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,426 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Hairs Looking at You Kid

There I was, brand new on the project, replacing a project manager who had vanished into thin air. I was beginning to envy him his vanishing act. I could see that the project had been ridiculously under estimated. I was not just new to the project, I was also new to the consulting firm I was representing. Oh and I had been told I would not be assigned to run any client projects until after three to four months of home office training and assisting other project managers.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,403 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Comparisons

“Never compare your insides with someone else’s outside.” – Hugh Macleod It is not often that the quotes I share with you come from someone who is still breathing. Today’s quote does and this makes me a bit nervous. See I am not certain if I am using the quote the way that Hugh Macleod intends it to be used. (See http://gapingvoid.com/about/ to learn about Hugh). However, as he is all about being creative and has also written a book called Ignore Everybody I am going to proceed.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,395 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Is it Worth It?

“Whenever you find yourself on the verge of losing your temper or falling into a bad mood, ask yourself, ‘Is this how I want to spend my day? Is it worth it to let this___________ (Fill-in-the-blank; person, situation etc.) take control of my day? Really?” – Margaret Meloni You are probably not surprised that the above comes from me. Yes, this is one of those points that I just will not give up. Perhaps you have sayings that you like to use or expressions that your family, friends and co-workers expect to hear from you. I guess this is one of mine.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,367 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Are YOU Playing to YOUR Strengths?

“Oh no, here we go again” thought Joe as his Quality Assurance Analyst Heidi approached him with his memo, complete with typos circled in red ink. He was not really annoyed by Heidi, she was just doing what she does; he mainly felt embarrassed. After all as the leader shouldn’t all of his work be perfect? He tried, he really did, but editing his own writing was just boring to him and not one of his strengths.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,333 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

***Bringing it ALL to Work

I remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?” Ok, Ok – this is a pretty old memory (from the late 1980’s), so it could be that I don’t have the details quite right. Maybe she did not really yell and maybe everyone in the room did not turn and stare at me and maybe I did not turn beet red. Or maybe some of this is how it really happened. In any case it was definitely one of my first lessons in how ALL of our various belief systems come to work with us.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,314 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

The Art of No

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair No is not always negative. It is not a bad or incorrect response. Saying no does not make you a difficult or uncooperative person. Read that again, out loud. Saying no is more honest than a false yes, it will help you develop clarity about your intentions and it really sets you free.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,311 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Mitigate the Risk Called YOU

Sometimes your behaviors support you and sometimes they do not. The key is to identify the supporting behaviors or opportunities so that you can use them more and to identify the behaviors that are damaging or the threats so that you can learn to prevent them. When you pay close attention to your behaviors you can learn what causes certain behaviors and what is caused by those behaviors. In terms of emotional intelligence I would say that being self-aware is what leads you to exhibiting self-control.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,309 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

***The Intersection of EQ, Difficult People and You!

Question: What happens when you take someone with empathy and place them in a meeting with someone who is pitching a fit? Answer: The person who is pitching the fit gets lucky because they have someone in the room who understands that sometimes others get upset in the workplace AND someone who can probably help them gracefully stop pitching that fit. Let's try another one. Question: What happens when you take someone who knows they are tired and crabby and then you invite them to a meeting to tell them bad news? Answer: If they are self-aware and they can self-regulate then you sho

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,295 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

How to Be Wrong

I need to tell you something. I hope you don’t mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, “You are not always right.” This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,289 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Please Interrupt Yourself

You know that interrupting someone when they are speaking is really rude. If you have children you have probably worked very hard to teach them to say “Excuse me”, before they break into conversations. What about interrupting you? I wish you would.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,282 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Culture Is Everything

“The thing I have learned at IBM is that culture is everything.” Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. former CEO IBM Too often I have worked with people who have joined a new organization only to crash and burn. Too often a complete and total disregard for organizational culture has played a part in this unfortunate scenario. Here is what NOT to do: - Assume that because you were hired, you have something much more special than the people already employed at your new place of business - Complain about the way they do things, call them outdated or wrong

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,279 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Off Your Game?

“Jason, did you know we were waiting for you in the conference room down the hall?” Jason looked up from his desk and then at the clock and realized that yes he did know. Somehow he just forgot. He spent most of yesterday afte oon preparing for this budget meeting. He felt really odd about being late, there was no specific reason for it, he just kind of spaced out.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,203 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Skills You Can Lea

Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life. - Brian Tracy

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,197 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

9 Tips for Navigating YOUR Office Party

It’s that time again, peace on earth and good will to all. Or at least it would be if you were not worried about those darned office parties. What are they anyway? Are they work or are they parties? Here are some tips to help you navigate the maze of professional pitfalls that lurk behind that innocent invitation to celebrate with your co-workers. Keep these tips in mind and emerge with your reputation clearer and stronger than ever before.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,190 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Where Are You Coming From?

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “I have no clue what this person is talking about.” Maybe you even have specifically thought, “Where is this person coming from?” You were not questioning their place of origin. What you were questioning was their perspective.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,168 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

That was a Decision, Really?

Tom was not surprised when Jacob and Marilyn asked for a private meeting with him. He had a hunch that some of the team was displeased with him. He thought of Jacob and Marilyn as ‘unofficial’ team leaders. They seemed to be the two people who his team members looked to for professional guidance. Tom had mixed feeling about his upcoming meeting with the two of them. On the one hand it would be a relief to find out what was wrong and on the other hand, well he was going to find out what was wrong.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,165 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Your Boss is Human

This just in, you report to a human being! Whether or not she lets you see her human side or not, she has pressures, stresses, fears, and insecurities just like you do. So don’t think for a minute that just because someone has a director or a vice-president in their title that they have no worries. Take the time the time to understand the likes and dislikes of your management and do what you can to cater to them. There are some easy things you can do that some of the people around you are not doing.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,137 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Sending and Receiving

“But communication is two-sided - vital and profound communication makes demands also on those who are to receive it... demands in the sense of concentration, of genuine effort to receive what is being communicated.” Roger Sessions

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,121 views

By Margaret MeloniRecently published1 topic

Keeping Others Down

"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might." Marian Anderson This is so obvious when you think about it from a physical perspective. If you were physically holding someone down, unless you have really long arms or really strong legs or some other technique; you have to adopt a posture which keeps you lower to the ground. I think this is only a good thing in wrestling or mixed martial arts fighting.

Primary topic: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

1,065 views

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