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Articles by Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.

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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 7, 20071 topic

Why Always Having to Be Right Can Poison Your Relationships

When someone feels that he or she always has to be right, you can bet that thereâs trouble ahead in the relationship arena. It doesnât take a fortune teller with a crystal ball to predict the future when a person is determined to win every argument or disagreement at any cost.nnAlways having to be right is damaging to relationships because it interferes with healthy communication, shared decision-making, and trust. It is destructive to the self-esteem and self-confidence

Primary topic: Love

16,229 views5/5 (1)

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Sep 25, 20061 topic

What Can You Do About Control Issues in Your Relationship?

Itâs so much easier to blame your partner than to look at yourselfâand this is especially true when relationship control issues are involved.nnIf youâre the more controlling partner, itâs tempting to blame your passive mate for waiting so long to speak up about her (or his) distress over the situation. If youâre the more passive partner, itâs tempting to blame your controlling partner for not respecting your feelings or insisting that you always do things his (or

Primary topic: Love

13,281 views4/5 (1)

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Oct 9, 20061 topic

How to Keep Jealousy from Destroying Your Relationship

Jealousy has often been called the âgreen-eyed monster,â and with good reason. The âmonsterâ is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship.nnAccording to B.C. Forbes, âJealousyâ¦is a mental cancer.â It spreads quickly and can be fatal to a relationship. Once it gets a foothold, the jealous partner becomes even more jealous, often over insignificant things. nnWhen weâre jealous, weâre in a state of dissatisfaction with ours

Primary topic: Love

11,447 views4/5 (1)

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

Ten Ways to Add Sizzle in the Bedroom

Have you ever wondered what it would take to improve the sex life in your relationship? If so, youâre not alone.nnToo often, couples watch the quality of their bedroom intimacy deteriorate after initially having a satisfying sex life. And equally troubling, they donât have a clue what to do about it.nnOne thingâs for sureâsizzling sex in the bedroom doesnât just happen on its own after the initial excitement has started to wear off! Ironically, it takes an understan

Primary topic: Passion

6,911 views4/5 (1)

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 6, 20061 topic

How to Cope with a Critical Partner

Do any of these statements describe your feelings?nn___ You often feel that your partner criticizes you unfairly.nn___ You feel that your partner consistently looks for nit-picking things to criticize. nn____You feel that your partner routinely criticizes you for things that have been blown out of proportion or are beyond your control. nnIf you answer âyesâ to at least one of these statements, you may be living with a partner who finds it easier to find fault than to prai

Primary topic: Love

14,139 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 1, 20051 topic

Improve Your Relationship By Taking Care of Yourself First

Itâs important for you to take care of yourself before you try to fix your relationship. The old saying âYou canât give away what you donât haveâ applies here. Until you are peaceful and happy, you wonât have a peaceful, happy relationship.nnIf you skip these steps and jump immediately into the murky waters of your troubled relationship, you are at high risk for going under. Thatâs why itâs so important to do all you can to stabilize yourself before you get in

Primary topic: Love

8,975 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Dec 12, 20061 topic

Why Retaliation Affairs Only Make Things Worse

Itâs not unusual for a partner whose mate has had an affair to have a âget evenâ or âretaliation affair.â The feelings of betrayal and the emotional pain are so devastating that the partner may want to hurt the mate like he (or she) has been hurt.nnIn some cases, the affair is planned out in advance as a deliberate way to get even and cause pain to the mate. In other cases, the betrayed partner confides in a sympathetic friend or co-worker and ends up becoming emoti

Primary topic: Love

6,266 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 15, 20081 topic

How To Reduce Hurt Feelings When You And Your Partner Disagree

One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how to reduce the hurt feelings that can result from arguments and disagreements. The fall-out from a no-holds barred âkill your opponentâ verbal altercation can last for decades.nnI have worked with numerous couples in counseling who have struggled with forgiving each other for damaging words they have said during a fight. Many times, the fallout from an argument or shouting match is left to accumulate like toxic dust o

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,897 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 19, 20081 topic

Is Your Mateâs Passive-Aggressive Behavior Driving You Crazy?

Kaylaâs husband Jon is an expert at getting out of things he doesnât want to do. He âforgetsâ to stop by the store on the way home from work when he doesnât want to be bothered. If he doesnât want to help Kayla with the house cleaning, he does such a poor job that she ends up redoing his part.nnOutwardly, Jon is agreeable and compliant. When Kayla asks him to do something, heâll generally say âokayâ or nod in agreement. Kayla has been let down so many times

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,539 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Aug 2, 20101 topic

Are You Fully Present in Your Marriage?

"Presence is more than just being there," states Malcolm S.Forbes. How true! Have you ever been talking with someone and felt that they were miles away even though they were sitting next to you? They might have appeared to be listening, but you could sense that they werenât really mentally and emotionally present in the conversation. We all have moments when our mind wanders and we lose focus, but if this happens frequently, our relationships with others will be negatively

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,511 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

Why Retaliation Affairs Only Make Things Worse

Itâs not unusual for a partner whose mate has had an affair to have a âget evenâ or âretaliation affair.â The feelings of betrayal and the emotional pain are so devastating that the partner may want to hurt the mate like he (or she) has been hurt.nnIn some cases, the affair is planned out in advance as a deliberate way to get even and cause pain to the mate. In other cases, the betrayed partner confides in a sympathetic friend or co-worker and ends up becoming emoti

Primary topic: Overcoming Adultery and Infidelity

Overcoming Adultery and Infidelity

2,360 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

How to Cope with a Critical Partner

Do any of these statements describe your feelings?nn___ You often feel that your partner criticizes you unfairly.nn___ You feel that your partner consistently looks for nit-picking things to criticize.n n____You feel that your partner routinely criticizes you for things that have been blown out of proportion or are beyond your control. nnIf you answer âyesâ to at least one of these statements, you may be living with a partner who finds it easier to find fault than to prai

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,811 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 14, 20081 topic

10 Danger Signals To Watch For In Your Marriage

Healthy marriages require time, attention, energy, and vigilance. It’s not realistic to think that you can have a super marriage without effort on your part. nnIt pays to be observant, to ask questions when you don’t understand something, and to notice changes in behavior, tone of voice, and attitude. Communication experts have found that only seven percent of our communication is verbal, while the other ninety-three percent depends on body language and tone of vo

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,745 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 19, 20081 topic

Can A Marital Separation Ever Save A Marriage?

As an experienced counselor, one of the questions Iâm asked frequently is, âCan a marital separation ever save a marriage?â My answer is a qualified âyes.ânnSometimes a couple is miserable living together and canât seem to co-exist without having constant harping and bickering. If they have children, they may worry about the impact on them of all the fighting. Each spouse wants the marriage to work and is willing to work on the problems and issues in marriage coun

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,645 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

How to Keep Jealousy from Destroying Your Relationship

Jealousy has often been called the âgreen-eyed monster,â and with good reason. The âmonsterâ is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship.nnAccording to B.C. Forbes, âJealousyâ¦is a mental cancer.â It spreads quickly and can be fatal to a relationship. Once it gets a foothold, the jealous partner becomes even more jealous, often over insignificant things.n nWhen weâre jealous, weâre in a state of dissatisfaction with ours

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,569 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Apr 23, 20071 topic

Listen to What Youâre Really Saying

Have you ever really listened to yourself thoughtfully, and analyzed the deeper meanings and implications of what you were saying?nnDoing this can be a sobering experience. Recently, after something really positive had happened unexpectedly, I said to my husband Lee, âI donât believe it!ânnImmediately, I realized what I had done and exclaimed, âI take that statement back!! I do believe good things can happen! I do believe it!â In the flash of a moment, I suddenly un

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,559 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 15, 20081 topic

Marriage Advice: Eight Steps To Marital Harmony

The formula for marital harmony and success is not a mysterious secret. Itâs actually very straightforward.nnThe âbehind the scenesâ part is the constant work thatâs required to keep the channels of love and communication clear from obstruction. Diligent spouses consistently spend time and energy addressing issues as they come up so that anger and hurt feelings donât accumulate.nnSpouses who want satisfying marriages also look for ways to keep their love strong, suc

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,548 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

Why Always Having to Be Right Can Poison Your Relationships

When someone feels that he or she always has to be right, you can bet that thereâs trouble ahead in the relationship arena. It doesnât take a fortune teller with a crystal ball to predict the future when a person is determined to win every argument or disagreement at any cost.nnAlways having to be right is damaging to relationships because it interferes with healthy communication, shared decision-making, and trust. nnIt is destructive to the self-esteem and self-confidenc

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,317 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 12, 20081 topic

Fifteen Ways To Say âI Love Youâ In 3 Minutes Or Less

To keep romance alive and nurture the intimacy in your relationship, youâll want to know a number of ways to express your feelings to your partner. There are certainly times when youâll want to put a significant amount of time and energy into a project that shows your love for your partner in a major way, such as planning a surprise birthday dinner party that includes family and friends or a new deck that you spend several weekends building.nnBut itâs also important for

Primary topic: Love

1,283 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 20, 20081 topic

What Can You Do About Control Issues in Your Relationship?

Itâs so much easier to blame your partner than to look at yourselfâand this is especially true when relationship control issues are involved.nnIf youâre the more controlling partner, itâs tempting to blame your passive mate for waiting so long to speak up about her (or his) distress over the situation. If youâre the more passive partner, itâs tempting to blame your controlling partner for not respecting your feelings or insisting that you always do things his(or h

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,222 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 20, 20081 topic

Improve Your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself First

Itâs important for you to take care of yourself before you try to fix your relationship. The old saying âYou canât give away what you donât haveâ applies here. Until you are peaceful and happy, you wonât have a peaceful, happy relationship.nnIf you skip these steps and jump immediately into the murky waters of your troubled relationship, you are at high risk for going under. Thatâs why itâs so important to do all you can to stabilize yourself before you get in

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,185 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 12, 20081 topic

10 Valentine's Day Tips For Spouses Who Want To Improve Their Marriage

The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. While many spouses focus on Valentineâs Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time and energy can give one of the most precious gifts possibleâan improved, satisfying marriage.nnLong after the romantic card is tucked away and the box of candy is empty, this marriage-enriching gift will still be appreciated and enjoyed. Follow these ten steps to give yourself and your spouse a

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,072 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 21, 20081 topic

Are You Letting the Economy Set the Mood for Your Marriage?

If you and your spouse are struggling with marriage problems right now, you have an even greater challenge than usual--and that is to stay focused and committed in spite of the current economic crisis and dire predictions. nnItâs difficult to stay proactive and positive when youâre surrounded by such fear and negativity, but itâs important not to let the gloomy financial news and forecasts set the mood for your marriage or determine the outcome.n nIf you get disheartene

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,057 views

By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Jun 22, 20081 topic

Ten Secrets To Improved Communication With Your Partner

When I asked several hundred people recently to name the biggest challenge in their relationship, the number one complaint was âpoor communication with my partner.ânnAnd in my many years of helping couples stay connected, Iâve seen that poor communication has been a leading cause for couples to break up.nnWhy, you ask?nnWithout good communication, you canât have a satisfying relationship. When communication is blocked or non-existent, a relationship canât thrive. So

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,042 views

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