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Articles by nancy travers

Browse published articles attributed to nancy travers, with full-archive search.

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By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Negative Body Image Affects Your Intimate Relationships

The way we see and value you ourselves has a huge impact on our actions, our quality of life, our happiness, and even our relationships with others. Body images is a simple term that describes how an individual views their body and appearance—whether that is “average,” “attractive,” or “bad.” Negative body image plagues many Americans, both male and female. Today’s society has a very strict image of beauty that is displayed in magazines, television and film.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

7,518 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Six Simple Steps to Rekindle Passion and Renew Sexual Energy

Many people feel that the first sign of a deteriorating relationship is a loss of passion and sexual energy. As a relationship matures, a couple may find that they do not have the same sexual energy as they did throughout their honeymoon phase of the relationship. However, dwindling passion does not mean that a relationship is over. Instead of calling it quits or seeking satisfaction outside of the relationship, couples should work to restore the passion in their relationship and renew their sexual energy.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,121 views3/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Great Expectations: Unattainable Standards Harm Your Life and Your Relationships

Everyone has expectations. In fact, everyone hopes that they can achieve the best in their endeavors. However, some of us take our expectations too far. Having goals and standards is healthy; they keep us motivated to achieve and pursue our dreams. High standards motivate us to do our best. Some people, “perfectionists,” can take high standards too far. A perfectionist is someone who has such high standards that they may be unattainable for most people.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,818 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Borderline Personality Disorder: What Does It Mean?

What does it mean to have a borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Basically a person with this condition has unstable or turbulent emotions that can sometimes make them act on impulse and encounter trouble in their relationships. So what else is new? Don’t we all have a certain amount of instability in our lives? Don’t we all get emotional at times? But if you have this disorder, the issues are severe and you have long-term patterns of disruption such as: Mood swings and intense emotionsr

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,703 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Listen Up (2013), Part 2

Couples who learn to actively, mindfully listen to one another have a better chance of having a deep, intimate relationship. It makes sense: When you listen well enough to understand your partner’s point of view, you understand him or her better, and the bond between you strengthens. So how do you become a masterful listener?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,214 views4.5/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

A Guide to Mindfulness Meditation

The promise of mindfulness meditation is that it can help you become more aware of who you are without the sting of judgment. Unlike some other forms of meditation, mindfulness meditation is not directed toward getting you to think differently. Its goal is to help you become aware of what is already true in the moment. To accept that truth without trying to change it. For people involved in therapy, mindfulness meditation can help them tolerate very strong emotions, and thus advance their healing.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,623 views5/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Concentrating on One Thing at a Time

Multi-tasking is common in our fast moving world. We text while we’re eating dinner and having a conversation with our spouse. We check our e-mails while we file our nails and talk on the phone. The trouble is, we are probably not being as productive as we’d wish. We are probably sacrificing the quality of the work we are doing at each task. We are distracted and maybe even distraught. Did you ever think it was time to take a breath and just concentrate on one thing at a time?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,553 views5/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Why Do Men Cheat on Business Trips?

It is not uncommon for a woman to worry about what her husband is doing while he is away from the home, especially when he is away for extended periods of time. Pop culture has no qualms about depicting a cheating husband to create a strong, independent heroine. The media coverage of recent scandals certainly hasn't put anyone's minds at ease. With all that we hear on the radio and see on television and films, it seems that almost every man is ready to cheat, and many of them take advantage of business trips to engage in extramarital affairs.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

9,306 views1/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Is Your Smart Phone Stressing You Out?

Do you feel like you can’t escape the stress from work, or from your social obligations? Do they sneak up on you, even as you’re trying to have a few relaxing moments to yourself after a long day, or during a weekend that you’ve purposely left open for some well-deserved “me-time”? It might be your cell phone that’s causing the problem. We use our cell phones, especially our smart phones to stay constantly connected to the people who are important to us.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,399 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Are You Close to Someone with Narcissist Personality Disorder?

When you are a close relative, partner or friend of a person who suffers from Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), you suffer too. People with NPD have an escalated sense of their superiority and importance in the world and a constant need for attention and admiration. They often have little regard for others’ feelings and may even exploit others to achieve their own goals. These traits can be detrimental to those who are close to the NPD sufferer. Causes of NPD

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,308 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Do You Love an Alcoholic?

Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are so pervasive that about a third of Americans have someone close to them who has the problem. This means legions of people have relationships that are stressful at best, and damaging at worst. If your spouse is an alcoholic then alcoholism is bound to affect you as well. The Problem for Partners of Alcoholics

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,308 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Is Your Friend Manipulating You?

You’re feeling vague resentment, but you’re not sure why. Your friend seems to ask more of you, expect more of you, than you’re willing to give. You’re feeling guilty for not capitulating to your friend’s request. You find yourself wondering why you’re doing something when you really don’t want to. If so, maybe you’re being manipulated.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,232 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

The Quest For Perfection: Is The Grass Really Greener or Merely Shades of Grey?

Today’s society offers no shortage of sexual and erotic material that is easily accessible to interested consumers. More than ever, we are inundated with images, written words, and discussions of what sex is and what sex could be. Sexual fantasies exist in the minds of all of us, but finding avenues to transform fantasy into reality can represent a delicate and precarious journey for those fixated on perfection.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,188 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Disagree without Being Disagreeable

A friend’s husband told her early in their relationship that there was no need to fight. He said, “Everyone tells you to learn to fight fair. But I say, we don’t fight at all.” Always a coward in the face of conflict, she thought that was great. And they don’t fight, meaning they don’t throw things, dredge up old hurts from the past, or raise their voices to ear-splitting decibels. But they do fight, meaning they disagree. It would be tough to exist as an individual entity without feeling differently from your spouse every once and awhile.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,119 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse

Did you grow up in a household where cocktail hour was a nightly affair? Do you cope with stress by having a glass of wine? Or two? Do your friends drink heavily?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,040 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

When Narcissistic Behavior Becomes Narcissistic Personality Disorder

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was renowned for his beauty and was so proud that he sco ed those who loved him. Instead, he fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water, and could not leave the image of himself. Finally, he died, unable to tear himself away. His fixation with himself was his undoing.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

875 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Good Manners in the Digital Age

The world has changed so fast that it’s hard to know how to behave these days. Old rules don’t apply and new ones haven’t been created yet. Suffice it to say consideration for the other guy is the key to good manners, and we don’t need Emily Post to tell us that. But when it comes to social media, it’s easy to push some pet peeve buttons even if you are generally a thoughtful person. Here are some things to consider:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,277 views4/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

3 Steps to Surviving a Verbally Abusive Relationship

Are you living in a situation that is unreal to you? Did you think you would have a good life with your partner, but instead, you suffer emotional pain? Does your relationship, which looked so attractive at first, turn out to make you miserable? Even while other people might look on your lifestyle with envy?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,193 views4/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Five Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulators

For the last few weeks I’ve been talking about emotional manipulators and the tactics they use to control you. The devastation these emotional predators can cause in your life is insidious and serious. These people can wear you down until you are a depressed, defeated shadow of the person you once were. That’s why it’s important to recognize the tactics they use to dominate you and to set strict boundaries to protect yourself from them.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,348 views3/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Is Your Fantasy Love Turning Your Lovemaking Into a Threesome?

The occasional fantasy can mean a healthy sex drive, but what if it’s a habit?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,633 views3/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Tactics Emotional Manipulators Use to Hurt You

Last week I talked about how Emotional Manipulators (EM’s) make you doubt yourself, make you feel confused, and even a little crazy yourself. The result is you depend a little more on the EM and that is the whole point. Emotional Manipulators use all sorts of tactics to control you. To dominate you. So they can be and do whatever they want. The trouble is, when they succeed, they diminish you to the point where you are no longer the strong, vibrant person you once were. It’s an insidious process that can leave you devastated.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,234 views3/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

5 Habits Happy Couples Have

It’s important to develop healthy habits of all kinds, and that includes habits that have an impact on your relationship with your spouse. At first, you may have to make an effort to practice positive habits, but after awhile they become part of your routine. It takes about 21 days to establish a habit, good or bad. So why not make a conscious effort to develop good ones that will contribute to your happy relationship? Here are a few suggestions:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,559 views3/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

What to Tell Our Children When Our Hearts Break

When a terrible tragedy strikes, as it did recently in a Connecticut kindergarten classroom, our hearts break. We don’t know how to mend. If we are directly affected by the tragedy, then professional counseling is imperative. But we also need to pay attention to our feelings, however tenuous our connection to a traumatic event. Even if we have only seen reports of the terrible news in the media, how do we heal? How do we help our children to heal?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

953 views3/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Great Habits that Build Happy Relationships

The habits you develop can have a powerful impact on your relationship with your partner. But all habits take a bit of work to incorporate into your life. Luckily you have great motivation: A happy relationship. Visualize yourself and your partner living together harmoniously. Take baby steps to improve your behavior, and if at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you have changed for the better. Here are some habits to cultivate for a sustainable, happy relationship:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,239 views3/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Co-dependency Do You Need to Be Needed?

Maybe you grew up in a dysfunctional home in a codependent relationship. In the bestselling book, The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls tells of her hardscrabble childhood. Her father was an alcoholic, her mother abdicated her role as caregiver, and the children had to fend for themselves. Walls’ parents made their children serve them, not the other way around. Perhaps your situation is not so deeply dysfunctional, but it doesn’t have to be to grow up codependent. What does it mean to be codependent?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

6,786 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

He Said, She Said: Apologies

Why is it so hard for some men to utter those healing words, “I’m sorry”? And why is it so important to a woman to hear them? It seems men and women look at apologies from different perspectives. Some women, when they apologize, feel really good that they’ve made a positive effort to mend the relationship. Especially if they’re afraid they’ve hurt someone’s feelings. They say they’re sorry to repair the damage. When they do, they have a sense of satisfaction that they’ve made the effort to make the relationship right again.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,203 views3/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

New Year’s Resolution 2013: Strengthen Your Relationship

It’s easy to guess the number one New Year’s resolution of 2012—Lose Weight. Others in the top ten included Enjoy Life to the Fullest, Spend More Time with Family, Help Others in Their Dreams, and Fall in Love. What do these resolutions have in common? All have to do with relationships, often with your significant other.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

733 views4/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Keep Those Resolutions with Your Partner

When you make New Year’s resolutions, do you feel defeated before you start? Many people don’t even bother to articulate resolutions since so many often fail. But if you make resolutions with your partner, you can support each other, and your chances of success improve significantly.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

722 views4/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Why Am I Always the One Who Initiates Sex?

If you are the one—male or female—who is always the first to ask for sex, you may begin to think your partner doesn’t want it. But there can be all sorts of reasons why he or she is more reticent than you. They could be medical, psychological, relational or just that you’re off kilter. Your natural interval between sexual intimacies may be shorter than your partner’s, so you are always ready sooner. You may have to use super self-control to wait for your partner to be absolutely ready. A nice sensual massage that doesn’t lead to sex might get your partner thinking.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,610 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Five Keys to a Happy Marriage

These tips are designed to make life and marriage a little easier, but by no means will they solve all of your issues in one swing. If you need to talk to someone, please consult an Orange County professional today.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

984 views3/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Handle Change and the Stress Associated with It

Sometimes it feels like everything is changing! Today, many of us feel like we are being met with both major and minor life changes at an increasing frequency. Of course, the fact that people deal with these adjustments on a regular basis doesn’t always mean that they are prepared to handle them. Some people feel like they haven’t been able to adjust to one life change before the next is thrust upon them! Even those of us who are most equipped to handle whatever life brings can feel out of control and overwhelmed in the face of change.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

911 views3/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

So Your Spouse Is Cheating on You

You’ve seen all the signs. All the sudden he’s working out when you could barely get him to walk to the end of the driveway to pick up the newspaper. He seems emotionally and sexually withdrawn when he used to want sex all the time. He’s constantly on his computer or cell phone and he’s guarding his privacy on both. He’s angry about things that never used to bother him. And the classic: he’s working late a lot.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,208 views2/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Contempt: A Sign Your Marriage Is in Trouble

There are as many reasons for troubled marriages as there are people in them. Surely infidelity is a big one. One partner’s selfishness is another. Disrespect for your partner’s opinions and feelings will certainly damage a relationship, as will a lack of emotional intimacy, communication and affection. A need to get your own way through control, manipulation or abuse is devastating. The list goes on. But the number one sign your marriage is in trouble is contempt. Contempt: the feeling that a person is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,110 views1.5/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Happy Couples Communicate

You’d think it would go without saying that happy couples like each other. You have to like someone before you can love them. And happy couples love each other. They share a good laugh frequently and often. They pay attention to one another. They communicate.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,174 views2/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently publishedTopic pending

Marriage’s Underwater Mines—Porn Addiction

A follow-up on my recent article on sex addiction. Pornography is not erotic literature, which can have social and artistic value. Serious moral issues pervade the porn industry, such as the exploitation of vulnerable women and the enticement of young people—mostly men, but an increasing number of women—into an unhealthy sex life that can interfere with normal sexual development—and a marriage.

Primary topic: Recently published

Recently published

1,696 views1/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Relationships, Boundaries, and Facebook

Social networks have injected an interesting new aspect into our lives and relationships. Today, we’re all living very publically. We’re our own paparazzi and gossip magazine, updating the web with every little thought, piece of drama, and embarrassing picture of friends. Our boundaries are very quickly fading away with each status update, wall post, and friend request.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,763 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Five ways to say :I Love You" When Words Aren't Enough

These tips are designed to build and grow a marriage or relationship – when it’s failing and you can’t seem to control it, Orange County marriage counseling may be a healthy option for you.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,551 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How Loving Couples Behave

Norman and Norma Burmah, at 102 and 99, have the longest marriage—82 years—on record in the United States. Imagine if they were unhappily married. What a long and dismal sentence that would be. While I don’t know how happily married they are, I do know what they and others do when they are in a happy relationship. Certain behavioral patterns are shared by happy couples, whether recently united or going for the longevity record. Friends

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

863 views2/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Listen Up (2013)

Ever heard the expression “Listen up?” Sometimes coaches say it when their team is in a huddle. They want everyone to pay particular attention to their message. Listen up. Lift your chin up; direct your gaze up into my eyes. Listen carefully and hear what I’m saying. Listen up. How often do you feel like your partner is not hearing what you’re saying? Or maybe your partner’s voice has become all too familiar to you and it’s become too easy to tune out. Maybe you do it unconsciously. The Listening Problem

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,364 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Can You Be Happy in a Sexless Relationship?

If you have a happy, stable, fun, loving marriage, you should count your blessings, right? Right. But what if that marriage is happy, stable, fun and loving without sex? Would you still count your blessings? In other words, can couples be happy without sex? The answer is, it depends. People have different tolerances and needs. It reminds me of the old Woody Allen movie in which the therapist asks a couple how often they have sex. They reply simultaneously. The wife says, “Constantly. Three times a week.” The husband says, “Almost never. Three times a week.”

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,248 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Five Ways to Get Rid of Your Victim Mentality

Do you continually believe you are a victim of someone else’s actions? Do you choose to feel oppressed? Is bad luck or lack of fai ess the source of your problems? If so, you may have a victim mentality. If you do, you probably find temporary solace in your self-pity. Friends and family may be kind enough to validate your notions by feeling sorry for you. At the same time, you don’t have to take the risks of trying to set matters right—you might fail. Nor do you have to take on the responsibilities of improving your behavior. You can just continue with your negative, destructive mindset.r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,218 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

When Is Make-Up Sex a Good Thing?

If you’re relying on make-up sex too often, your relationship may need help Make-up sex is famous for being unbridled and highly pleasurable. And that can be memorable, especially if the overall sex life of a couple has been routine, humdrum, or just plain bad most of the time. In a good marriage or relationship, make-up sex can be a high point. But is it a good idea to suffer through a bad marriage just for those few peak moments? I say no. There are many reasons make-up sex is so delicious, including:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,993 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

What to Do When Your Friend Is Suicidal

The last couple weeks we’ve been talking about the important topic of suicide. In the United States, it’s the 10th leading cause of death. The strongest risk factor is depression. Chances are that you have had or will have a friend who is at risk. You may be reluctant to talk to him about his problems, but there are things you can say and do to help. Taking action is almost always the best course. First, ask questions.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,942 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

*The translation is “Praise to the jewel in the lotus,” although there are many interpretations of the religious meaning of these words.

Many people who suffer from depression take anti-depressant drugs and feel better. But drugs may be expensive, cause side effects and when it’s time to come off the drugs, depressed people are vulnerable to a relapse. Mindfulness-based meditation, often coupled with cognitive therapy (MBCT), may alleviate or eliminate these problems.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,938 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Stress Test: 5 Ways to Make It Through the Holidays

Many people I know don’t find joy in the holidays. Too much stress and work. The chores of cooking, shopping and cleaning are often multiplied during the holidays, leaving you feeling put-upon and resentful. One year a friend had a tree trimming dinner party, and she wouldn’t give her guests dessert until they hung ornaments on the tree. Not exactly behavior in the spirit of Christmas.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,903 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

When Sleep Eludes You

Last week we talked about housekeeping tips to get you to sweet slumber every night. If you followed them, you’ve made your room dark and quiet, you’ve checked your mattress, you’ve banned the TV from your bedroom, watched your intake of caffeine and alcohol, regulated your routine—everything. And there you are, at 4 a.m., wide awake. What can you do when you’ve followed the rules and you still can’t sleep?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,900 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Marriage’s Underwater Mines: ADD

In some marriages, a dark cloud hangs over the home, going by many different names: bills unpaid, appointments missed, chores ignored or unfinished, kids not picked up, calls not made—maybe poor job performance to boot.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,773 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

What’s Sabotaging Your Good Intentions?

It’s the New Year, and time to make a new start with all your good intentions to have a productive, fulfilling, happy year. But sometimes it’s a struggle. We get sidetracked, bogged down. Before we know it, our good intentions have vanished into thin air. What hinders us?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,704 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How to Overcome a Co-dependent Relationship

Since co-dependent relationships are not healthy for you, why is it so hard to extricate yourself? Why is it so difficult to get out of a situation that is harmful to you? Well, we all hate change, even if that change may be for the better. And if you’ve been in a co-dependent relationship your whole life, it is all you know. It’s what you’re comfortable with.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,697 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How to Work Through a Break Up

Breaking up is a difficult time in anyone’s life, especially if you’re the one being left behind. This is a time where you may feel shaken. You’re losing your routine, your security, and maybe even the person you felt was closest to you. It is easy to feel lost and confused about who you are and what you have.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,673 views

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