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Articles by nancy travers

Browse published articles attributed to nancy travers, with full-archive search.

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By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Why Do Men Cheat on Business Trips?

It is not uncommon for a woman to worry about what her husband is doing while he is away from the home, especially when he is away for extended periods of time. Pop culture has no qualms about depicting a cheating husband to create a strong, independent heroine. The media coverage of recent scandals certainly hasn't put anyone's minds at ease. With all that we hear on the radio and see on television and films, it seems that almost every man is ready to cheat, and many of them take advantage of business trips to engage in extramarital affairs.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

9,306 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Negative Body Image Affects Your Intimate Relationships

The way we see and value you ourselves has a huge impact on our actions, our quality of life, our happiness, and even our relationships with others. Body images is a simple term that describes how an individual views their body and appearance—whether that is “average,” “attractive,” or “bad.” Negative body image plagues many Americans, both male and female. Today’s society has a very strict image of beauty that is displayed in magazines, television and film.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

7,518 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Co-dependency Do You Need to Be Needed?

Maybe you grew up in a dysfunctional home in a codependent relationship. In the bestselling book, The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls tells of her hardscrabble childhood. Her father was an alcoholic, her mother abdicated her role as caregiver, and the children had to fend for themselves. Walls’ parents made their children serve them, not the other way around. Perhaps your situation is not so deeply dysfunctional, but it doesn’t have to be to grow up codependent. What does it mean to be codependent?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

6,786 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Why Am I Always the One Who Initiates Sex?

If you are the one—male or female—who is always the first to ask for sex, you may begin to think your partner doesn’t want it. But there can be all sorts of reasons why he or she is more reticent than you. They could be medical, psychological, relational or just that you’re off kilter. Your natural interval between sexual intimacies may be shorter than your partner’s, so you are always ready sooner. You may have to use super self-control to wait for your partner to be absolutely ready. A nice sensual massage that doesn’t lead to sex might get your partner thinking.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,610 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Six Simple Steps to Rekindle Passion and Renew Sexual Energy

Many people feel that the first sign of a deteriorating relationship is a loss of passion and sexual energy. As a relationship matures, a couple may find that they do not have the same sexual energy as they did throughout their honeymoon phase of the relationship. However, dwindling passion does not mean that a relationship is over. Instead of calling it quits or seeking satisfaction outside of the relationship, couples should work to restore the passion in their relationship and renew their sexual energy.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,121 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Relationships, Boundaries, and Facebook

Social networks have injected an interesting new aspect into our lives and relationships. Today, we’re all living very publically. We’re our own paparazzi and gossip magazine, updating the web with every little thought, piece of drama, and embarrassing picture of friends. Our boundaries are very quickly fading away with each status update, wall post, and friend request.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,763 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Five ways to say :I Love You" When Words Aren't Enough

These tips are designed to build and grow a marriage or relationship – when it’s failing and you can’t seem to control it, Orange County marriage counseling may be a healthy option for you.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,551 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Great Expectations: Unattainable Standards Harm Your Life and Your Relationships

Everyone has expectations. In fact, everyone hopes that they can achieve the best in their endeavors. However, some of us take our expectations too far. Having goals and standards is healthy; they keep us motivated to achieve and pursue our dreams. High standards motivate us to do our best. Some people, “perfectionists,” can take high standards too far. A perfectionist is someone who has such high standards that they may be unattainable for most people.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,818 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Borderline Personality Disorder: What Does It Mean?

What does it mean to have a borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Basically a person with this condition has unstable or turbulent emotions that can sometimes make them act on impulse and encounter trouble in their relationships. So what else is new? Don’t we all have a certain amount of instability in our lives? Don’t we all get emotional at times? But if you have this disorder, the issues are severe and you have long-term patterns of disruption such as: Mood swings and intense emotionsr

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,703 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Listen Up (2013)

Ever heard the expression “Listen up?” Sometimes coaches say it when their team is in a huddle. They want everyone to pay particular attention to their message. Listen up. Lift your chin up; direct your gaze up into my eyes. Listen carefully and hear what I’m saying. Listen up. How often do you feel like your partner is not hearing what you’re saying? Or maybe your partner’s voice has become all too familiar to you and it’s become too easy to tune out. Maybe you do it unconsciously. The Listening Problem

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,364 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Can You Be Happy in a Sexless Relationship?

If you have a happy, stable, fun, loving marriage, you should count your blessings, right? Right. But what if that marriage is happy, stable, fun and loving without sex? Would you still count your blessings? In other words, can couples be happy without sex? The answer is, it depends. People have different tolerances and needs. It reminds me of the old Woody Allen movie in which the therapist asks a couple how often they have sex. They reply simultaneously. The wife says, “Constantly. Three times a week.” The husband says, “Almost never. Three times a week.”

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,248 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Five Ways to Get Rid of Your Victim Mentality

Do you continually believe you are a victim of someone else’s actions? Do you choose to feel oppressed? Is bad luck or lack of fai ess the source of your problems? If so, you may have a victim mentality. If you do, you probably find temporary solace in your self-pity. Friends and family may be kind enough to validate your notions by feeling sorry for you. At the same time, you don’t have to take the risks of trying to set matters right—you might fail. Nor do you have to take on the responsibilities of improving your behavior. You can just continue with your negative, destructive mindset.r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,218 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Listen Up (2013), Part 2

Couples who learn to actively, mindfully listen to one another have a better chance of having a deep, intimate relationship. It makes sense: When you listen well enough to understand your partner’s point of view, you understand him or her better, and the bond between you strengthens. So how do you become a masterful listener?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,214 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

When Is Make-Up Sex a Good Thing?

If you’re relying on make-up sex too often, your relationship may need help Make-up sex is famous for being unbridled and highly pleasurable. And that can be memorable, especially if the overall sex life of a couple has been routine, humdrum, or just plain bad most of the time. In a good marriage or relationship, make-up sex can be a high point. But is it a good idea to suffer through a bad marriage just for those few peak moments? I say no. There are many reasons make-up sex is so delicious, including:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,993 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

What to Do When Your Friend Is Suicidal

The last couple weeks we’ve been talking about the important topic of suicide. In the United States, it’s the 10th leading cause of death. The strongest risk factor is depression. Chances are that you have had or will have a friend who is at risk. You may be reluctant to talk to him about his problems, but there are things you can say and do to help. Taking action is almost always the best course. First, ask questions.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,942 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

*The translation is “Praise to the jewel in the lotus,” although there are many interpretations of the religious meaning of these words.

Many people who suffer from depression take anti-depressant drugs and feel better. But drugs may be expensive, cause side effects and when it’s time to come off the drugs, depressed people are vulnerable to a relapse. Mindfulness-based meditation, often coupled with cognitive therapy (MBCT), may alleviate or eliminate these problems.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,938 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Stress Test: 5 Ways to Make It Through the Holidays

Many people I know don’t find joy in the holidays. Too much stress and work. The chores of cooking, shopping and cleaning are often multiplied during the holidays, leaving you feeling put-upon and resentful. One year a friend had a tree trimming dinner party, and she wouldn’t give her guests dessert until they hung ornaments on the tree. Not exactly behavior in the spirit of Christmas.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,903 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

When Sleep Eludes You

Last week we talked about housekeeping tips to get you to sweet slumber every night. If you followed them, you’ve made your room dark and quiet, you’ve checked your mattress, you’ve banned the TV from your bedroom, watched your intake of caffeine and alcohol, regulated your routine—everything. And there you are, at 4 a.m., wide awake. What can you do when you’ve followed the rules and you still can’t sleep?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,900 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Marriage’s Underwater Mines: ADD

In some marriages, a dark cloud hangs over the home, going by many different names: bills unpaid, appointments missed, chores ignored or unfinished, kids not picked up, calls not made—maybe poor job performance to boot.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,773 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

What’s Sabotaging Your Good Intentions?

It’s the New Year, and time to make a new start with all your good intentions to have a productive, fulfilling, happy year. But sometimes it’s a struggle. We get sidetracked, bogged down. Before we know it, our good intentions have vanished into thin air. What hinders us?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,704 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How to Overcome a Co-dependent Relationship

Since co-dependent relationships are not healthy for you, why is it so hard to extricate yourself? Why is it so difficult to get out of a situation that is harmful to you? Well, we all hate change, even if that change may be for the better. And if you’ve been in a co-dependent relationship your whole life, it is all you know. It’s what you’re comfortable with.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,697 views

By nancy traversRecently publishedTopic pending

Marriage’s Underwater Mines—Porn Addiction

A follow-up on my recent article on sex addiction. Pornography is not erotic literature, which can have social and artistic value. Serious moral issues pervade the porn industry, such as the exploitation of vulnerable women and the enticement of young people—mostly men, but an increasing number of women—into an unhealthy sex life that can interfere with normal sexual development—and a marriage.

Primary topic: Recently published

Recently published

1,696 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How to Work Through a Break Up

Breaking up is a difficult time in anyone’s life, especially if you’re the one being left behind. This is a time where you may feel shaken. You’re losing your routine, your security, and maybe even the person you felt was closest to you. It is easy to feel lost and confused about who you are and what you have.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,673 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Coping Strategies After a Loved One's Suicide

If you have experienced the loss of a loved one by suicide, you have a challenging journey ahead of you. Not only do you suffer heart wrenching grief from your loss, but also from the fact that she chose to take her own life. You may wonder if you could have done something to prevent it. You may feel guilty and blame yourself. You may be angry that she abandoned you. Don’t be surprised if you experience a whole range of emotions. When you are ready to accept the tragedy and begin to heal, here are a few suggestions that may help.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,645 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

3 Ways to Put the Spark Back in Your Sex Life

Sex is a basic human need, but as your partner and you grow, you may evolve at different rates. The desire for sex becomes unbalanced in your relationship—one partner wants it more than the other. And over time, sex may become predictable and the excitement fades.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,638 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Is There a Passive-Agressive Person in Your Life?

At best, their behavior is dishonest. At worst, it’s abusive. But you may not have even noticed it. That’s because a passive-aggressive person can be so subtle you may not realize their supposed joke was really a hostile remark. Or their procrastination at getting something you need done is really their way of making you suffer. Or countless other covert behaviors.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,636 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Meditation Transformation

Meditation Transformation – What’s Stopping You? If you could change your brain for the better, would you? If you could increase your working memory and enhance your decision-making ability by meditating, would you give it a try? What if you could also: Slow down the natural decline of your brain as you age. Better regulate your emotions. Measurably reduce stress. Gain perspective and alleviate symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, pain and insomnia. Increase your empathy and compassion. Enhance your ability to concentrate.r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,634 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Is Your Fantasy Love Turning Your Lovemaking Into a Threesome?

The occasional fantasy can mean a healthy sex drive, but what if it’s a habit?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,633 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

A Guide to Mindfulness Meditation

The promise of mindfulness meditation is that it can help you become more aware of who you are without the sting of judgment. Unlike some other forms of meditation, mindfulness meditation is not directed toward getting you to think differently. Its goal is to help you become aware of what is already true in the moment. To accept that truth without trying to change it. For people involved in therapy, mindfulness meditation can help them tolerate very strong emotions, and thus advance their healing.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,623 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

When a Loved One Commits Suicide

Robin Williams’ recent death left many of us, who didn’t even know him, feeling bereft. How could he, who was loved by millions, take his own life? How could his life have been so unbearable that he had to end it? And how do we cope with the aftermath?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,623 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

The Anxiety–Overeating–Depression Cycle

You’re anxious, you stress-eat, depression sets in. How do you break the cycle? Eating is one of the toughest addictions. We all have to eat, so it’s not possible to avoid being around food. But some of us have a hard time controlling our input, and we give our bodies what they seem to want, rather than what they need.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,593 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

12 ‘Don’ts’ for Fighting Fair

Conflict is tough for most people. We don’t like it. It threatens us and makes us feel bad. Makes us feel defensive. But we can feel a whole lot better about fighting if we have rules to guide us.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,588 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Ending a Relationship After Infidelity

Infidelity is an unfortunate occurrence that strikes too many modern relationships. Cheating in any relationship can be devastating for both partners; both the person committing the infidelity and the person betrayed can be strongly affected by the after-effects of breaking the relationship’s trust. Once infidelity occurs, it is up to both partners to decide whether or not to continue in the relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,579 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

3 Sure-Fire Relationship Killers

When couples get married they never think they will be among those who get divorced. Yet a hefty percentage of marriages do end in divorce, so some of these people who can’t imagine divorce on their wedding day will certainly face that prospect eventually. Psychologists have identified behaviors that make failed marriages predictable. Here are some—criticism, nagging, and trying to change your partner.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,569 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

5 Habits Happy Couples Have

It’s important to develop healthy habits of all kinds, and that includes habits that have an impact on your relationship with your spouse. At first, you may have to make an effort to practice positive habits, but after awhile they become part of your routine. It takes about 21 days to establish a habit, good or bad. So why not make a conscious effort to develop good ones that will contribute to your happy relationship? Here are a few suggestions:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,559 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Are You a Victim of an Emotional Manipulator?

Are you afraid of conflict with your significant other or friend? Do you make bad decisions to accommodate him? Do you tell little white lies to avoid problems? Do you blame yourself for his dissatisfaction? Do you rush to pamper him when he becomes irritated? Do you sacrifice and give, give, give—and still feel sad and lonely? Perhaps you are under the thumb of an expert at emotional manipulation.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,553 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Concentrating on One Thing at a Time

Multi-tasking is common in our fast moving world. We text while we’re eating dinner and having a conversation with our spouse. We check our e-mails while we file our nails and talk on the phone. The trouble is, we are probably not being as productive as we’d wish. We are probably sacrificing the quality of the work we are doing at each task. We are distracted and maybe even distraught. Did you ever think it was time to take a breath and just concentrate on one thing at a time?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,553 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How to Quit Enabling

Last week I talked about how easy it is to be caught up in a destructive cycle of enabling someone you love. You may have begun by trying to help. You covered up or filled in for someone who let his responsibilities slide due to dysfunctional behavior—often addition. Over time you got stuck in a downward spiral of behavior in which you were constantly trying to fix someone else’s problems to the detriment of your own life.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,527 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Lonely? You’re Not Alone.

Loneliness is a tricky thing to combat. Loneliness seems to beget loneliness. When you feel isolated you crawl into your shell and become more so. You feel separated from other human beings. You may have physical symptoms too, like an ache or a heaviness in your chest. It’s not a good feeling.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,487 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Conflicts with Your Significant Other: How to Fight Fair

Even the healthiest relationships will experience rough patches. No two people will always agree, and eventually these disagreements will need to be handled. Conflicts and arguments are not the signs of a bad marriage or partnership. However, how you and your partner handle an argument can be the key to a lasting, loving relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,484 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How to Deal with Passive-Aggressive People

The trouble with passive-aggression is that both the giver and the receiver often have no idea what’s really going on. In other words, the person who’s passive-aggressive (P-A) may know he hates conflict, may know he’s feeling a little angry and may know he’s covering it up. But he doesn’t register how rancorous he really feels. The person who’s the object of the P-A’s anger may never know what hit him because the rancor is well disguised. Consequently these incidents go largely unacknowledged for what they really are—hostility.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,465 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

The Silent Treatment in Relationships

Do one or both of you retreat too often into the cone of silence? In an article earlier this year, I spoke about the devastating effects of verbal abuse. A retreat into a “cone of silence” by one or both partners in a marriage or relationship can potentially be just as devastating. Sure, some people are simply quieter, less communicative, or more contemplative than others.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,458 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Talking Back to Your Critical Inner Voice

Have you ever told yourself your body’s too fat, your hair’s too thin, that you’re a terrible mother, that you’re not disciplined enough, smart enough, kind enough? Do you have an inner voice that’s unjustifiably critical?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,439 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Five Questions to Ask Yourself in Tough Times

We all go through tough times, some more than others. But everybody handles hard times differently. It’s not whether you get hurricanes and tornadoes in life, it’s how you weather the storms that make a difference in your well-being.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,415 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Is Your Smart Phone Stressing You Out?

Do you feel like you can’t escape the stress from work, or from your social obligations? Do they sneak up on you, even as you’re trying to have a few relaxing moments to yourself after a long day, or during a weekend that you’ve purposely left open for some well-deserved “me-time”? It might be your cell phone that’s causing the problem. We use our cell phones, especially our smart phones to stay constantly connected to the people who are important to us.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,399 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Holiday Stress-Busters

If you are one of those people for whom the holidays bring a certain amount of dread, take heart. You are not alone. Even those who seem blissfully cheery are susceptible to moments of loneliness or despair, often exacerbated by stress. Here are a few suggestions to mitigate that stress:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,373 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How Do You Know When You’re Being Emotionally Manipulated?

Most people are empathetic, unless they have a personality disorder, and they understand that emotions are sacred. To be taken seriously. Most people agree that it’s morally unethical to toy with someone else’s emotions.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,371 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Make a Plan to Combat Loneliness

Feeling lonely is painful. Often people who feel lonely exacerbate the situation by blaming themselves. Why am I lonely? Because other people don’t like me. Why don’t they like me? Because I’m a loser. It’s not hard to imagine how this internal conversation can go downhill very quickly and make you completely miserable.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,353 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Five Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulators

For the last few weeks I’ve been talking about emotional manipulators and the tactics they use to control you. The devastation these emotional predators can cause in your life is insidious and serious. These people can wear you down until you are a depressed, defeated shadow of the person you once were. That’s why it’s important to recognize the tactics they use to dominate you and to set strict boundaries to protect yourself from them.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,348 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Four Reasons to Quiet Your Monkey Mind

With summer here, it’s time to relax. To let yourself daydream. To take time off from your usual frantic schedule. To free yourself from the rigors of daily life and quiet your mind. Lack of structure used to be a feature of summer vacation, but we seem to be increasingly programmed. Maybe it’s time to recapture some of that quiet time through meditation. It turns out it’s good for you. Why Meditate?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,342 views

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