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Articles by Pat LaDouceur

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By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Take Back Your Time: How to Reduce Overwhelm in a Few Minutes a Day

Research shows that re-thinking how you use the small moments of extra time in your day might be better for you (and less expensive) than taking a big vacation. Recently I spoke with Jenny, a client of mine who is a working mom, who said, “I need time for myself, but there isn't enough time in the day.” With two kids in school and a part time job, she felt overwhelmed, exhausted, and in need of a vacation – preferably a long one. While a vacation would have been wonderful, what Jenny really needed was something a little different. It had to do with how Jenny filled her time.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,061 views5/5 (4)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

How to Ground Your Fear of Flying

Imagine you've just won a dream vacation to an island in the Caribbean. You can almost smell the fresh, salt air. White sand and turquoise ocean spread out for miles in front of you, sprinkled with coconut and palm trees. You're staying in a small cottage on the beach, listening to the soft hoot of grebes. There's just one small catch... You're afraid to fly. Usually it's not a problem. You can drive most places, or take a train in a pinch. And you're happy enough to vacation at home...or so you've told yourself.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,703 views5/5 (2)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Can Neurofeedback Help Musical Performance?

Emilia was a jazz pianist who wanted to break into the Bay Area performing scene. Her roadblock was performance anxiety. A small technical mistake would get her wondering whether anyone in the band, or the audience, noticed the mistake. The resulting physical tension made it harder to play well, and the problem went in circles. . Her technique was solid, she'd been told. Technique is essential, but performance isn't just about technique. Performance is about connection with the audience. But how could Emilia connect when she was worried about whether or not she was measuring up?r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,019 views5/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Insomnia: What to do When Pills Don't Work

“I can't get enough sleep,” James told me. “I had some medication, but it doesn't seem to work anymore.” It's a common problem. About 30% of the U.S. population reports having trouble sleeping in a given year. About 12% of those turn to pills, and fill about 60 million prescriptions annually. And for many people, they seem to work...for awhile. * The problem with pills

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,831 views5/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Three Ways to Stop Worry and Anxiety

3 Ways to Stop Worry Sofia wanted to stop her worry – worry about her job, worry about whether or not her husband will be laid off, worry about the news and the kind of world her kids will grow up in. She can worry about the past or the future, big things or small – whether she volunteers enough, whether her kids get to school on time, whether her skirt has an unprofessional wrinkle. Before lunch she can worry about dozens of things, and the day is less than half through. She's not alone. Many of my clients struggle with worry.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,573 views5/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

The Fastest Way to Boost Your Mood

Do you ever feel stressed out about the demands of day-to-day life? My clients Ava and Leo were doing their best to balance high-pressure jobs with the needs of two school-aged kids and time for themselves. Their work got done, and well. But the number of tasks they juggled every day made it hard to stay connected to the people they cared about most – their daughters, their friends, and each other. They started feeling less like marriage partners and more like roommates, and weren’t sure how to stop the sense of drifting apart.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,546 views5/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

The Relationship Dance

A dance teacher once told me that she could see a couple's entire relationship on the dance floor. When someone's toes got stepped on (and they did - we were all beginners) - she could see how how some people blamed their partner, while others apologized and let it go. Some stopped the lessons before they got to be good at it, while others had fun learning and adjusting to how their partners moved. Every Relationship is a Dance In the beginning, it can be easy to move to the music with your partner. But over time, things change.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

3,383 views3/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

What's Wrong with Being Busy?

Two different clients recently asked me this question. On the surface, their stories were very different. Janel is a dedicated stay-at-home mom who spends a lot of time cooking from scratch and volunteering at her children's schools. But she barely has time for a morning shower, let alone a relaxed conversation with her husband. Matt is a software developer who works typically long hours at a startup. He's smart and talented and is making a respectable salary, but rarely does he spend a weekend with his girlfriend exploring the city or hiking in the hills.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,419 views5/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

The Trouble With Compromise

Holidays are supposed to be meaningful, relaxing, and connecting, but they’re often stressful. It’s easy to get caught between travel, family obligations, your own wishes, and tricky negotiations with significant others. If you try to do it all and make everyone happy, it can feel like you’re paddling down a river too fast, with no directions and no guide. You end up frazzled and exhausted. Anxiety is a natural response when you take on too much. How do you navigate the events, activities, and the pull of parents and partners?

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,152 views4/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

The short answer to this question is a resounding “Yes!” Dr. John Gottman spent forty years researching how couples create close, lasting relationships and what it takes to turn a distressed marriage around. Using his approach, Gottman Method Couples Therapy, 85% of couples were able to turn their relationships around. More recently, Johnson et al followed couples who sought the help of Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,304 views3/5 (2)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

How to Say No to People You Care About

“I want to learn how to say No so it doesn’t turn into an argument,” David said. He’d been married about two years, and came to my office asking if I could help him learn to talk with his wife “without getting so upset when we disagree.” “I’m fine doing things her way most of the time,” he said, “but sometimes I feel pretty strongly about what I want. This time it’s about a dog – she wants one and I don’t.”

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,853 views4/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

5 Ways to Stop an Argument in Less Than a Minute

The trouble with arguments is that they don't work. I'm not talking about a good debate, where you have some great ideas, and they clash, and you start a healthy back-and-forth that feels fun. I mean arguments – where tension starts to rise, responses start to get personal, and you go around in circles without getting anywhere. Often this kind of conflict takes on a life of it's own, where you end up arguing about who does more of the chores or what time you came home last night, while bigger issues like caring, teamwork, and appreciation hide under the surface.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,780 views4/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Antidote to Busy: 5 Simple Ways to Find Time for You

Ely was excited about his new job. He’d spent a year looking, and found what he wanted – interesting work, good pay, friendly people. Perfect, right? But Ely had also increased his responsibility, added a long commute, and decided that he wanted to make a fabulous first impression at work. He also wanted to spend time with his wife of twelve years and his two boys, seven and nine years old.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,537 views3/5 (2)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Are You With the Right Partner?

Am I with the right partner? As a couples therapist, I've been asked this question a lot. The couples I see are usually frustrated, and often for good reason. They've tried to solve relationship problems by talking, by not talking, by changing their behavior and by not changing it. Nothing, so far, has worked. Who wouldn't be frustrated...and confused? It's no surprise that they start to wonder if maybe the situation is hopeless, if maybe they just don't have the right partner.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,770 views3/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

End Procrastination Around Homework: A 3 Minute Strategy for Teens

The Homework Bottleneck Do you wish sometimes that there was a simple way to end procrastination around homework? First, take a minute and ask yourself which of these scenarios sounds more like your teen? Both students have the same class and homework assignment. Student 1 walks in the door after school, drops his backpack by the front door, and gets a snack. You ask about homework, but he says that he needs a break first. You notice him texting friends until dinner time.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,559 views3/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Get Through the Holidays with Humor and Grace: Four Strategies for Couples and Families

Are you looking forward to a relaxing holiday? Have you made plans that fit your unique values, needs, and energy level? Or do you feel pulled by the needs of friends and family, swept into the consumer rush, or tantalized by images of perfect holiday bliss and feeling like you can’t measure up? These strategies will help you balance needs of others with your own, and make the holiday season more enjoyable. Give up perfection: It’s inspiring to imagine a holiday filled with closeness and warmth, with a healthy dose of time for yourself to relax.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,541 views3/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

3 Ways to Know If You’re Saying Yes Too Much

Life is full of opportunities. There’s work of course, or school if you’re a student. There are chores, and errands, but also workout time, evenings with your family, organizations you want to support…so many things you can take part in. But if you end up saying yes to all of it, then before you know it you end up, overcommitted, stressed out, or just plain fried. You also need to know how to say no. The clues… How do you know you’re saying yes too much? Here are a few of the warning signs:

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,657 views2/5 (1)

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

What We Fear More Than Death

You've probably heard that public speaking is feared more than death itself. It sounds crazy, but that's what people say. Is there any truth to this? Certainly the vast majority of people rank fear of public speaking as number one – 75% according to the National Institutes of Mental Health. For some people, this means a fear of speaking to large groups. For others, it means speaking to even a single person if that person has the power to evaluate you, as in a supervisor, interviewer, or professor giving an oral exam.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,608 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Can Neurofeedback Make You Smarter?

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to perform your best when it really matters? Consider these situations: 14-year-old Luis wants to finish his math assignment, but spends all morning in class staring out the window. 13-year-old Kayla loses her homework almost every day. It’s usually at the bottom of her backpack. Madeline wants to start a business, and she has a simple, solid idea. She needs to bring in some income, but when she sits down to work on it, she spaces out.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,347 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Different Styles or Money Problems? Here Are 5 Ways for Couples to Tell

Money is one of the leading topics of marital arguments, and it’s not surprising. We each have a money style – a collection of feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that we learned from our parents and other significant people in our lives. When two people make a commitment together, these money styles can clash. How they come together determines whether the result will be frustration or teamwork. So how do you tell when disagreements are just difference in money styles, and when they are creating a serious problem in a relationship? Here are five things to look at. 1.Communication.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,276 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

The Key to Overcoming Procrastination

Have you ever put off a task that you just didn’t want to do? Procrastination can be frustrating. If this happens just once in awhile, it’s probably not an issue. But if procrastination is a way of managing stressful situations, it’s a real problem. When you procrastinate, things pile up. You end up with long hours and last minute crises. You feel exhausted and frazzled and stressed. In case you were wondering, you’re not alone. A lot of smart people have the same problem. A Dilemma

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,158 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Anxiety in Women: The 5 Most Common Symptoms

Anxiety in women is different from anxiety in men. Overall, women report more anxiety. Women are 60% more likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Women also face different stressors, because they have somewhat different life and work challenges. Womens' biggest stressors are money and work – almost 80% of women worry about money, and about 2/3 worry about work. Over half of all women feel significant stress about family responsibilities, and both personal health and family health.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,000 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Test Anxiety - When Your Mind Goes Blank

Brian, one of my clients and a high school senior, had a serious problem with tests. He did his homework. He even helped other students. But when he walked into a test, his mind went blank. All those lectures, readings, and practice problems vanished from his mind. He would start to worry. As the clock ticked on, his anxiety increased. He would finally force himself to focus, get through some of the problems, and end up with a mediocre score. Eventually he concluded what seemed to be obvious: "I'm not very good at tests."

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,983 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Are You a Secret People Pleaser? [quiz]

What would happen if you said Yes to everything you were asked to do? You might end up in one of these situations: • Damitri had a to-do list of over 70 items, and he felt like he was always disappointing someone. • Amie spent almost a third of her workweek dealing with email, and worried that she wasn’t staying on top of her work. • Ronnie woke up every night at 2:00 am thinking about all the things she had to accomplish the next day, because she knew before she started that there weren’t enough hours to get it done.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,939 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Fear of Heights – Story of a Rock Climber

Joe was afraid of heights. He could have just avoided heights, as many people do. The trouble was he also loved them. Joe was a rock climber. It’s surprising how many rock climbers are afraid of heights. It takes them longer than other climbers to learn new techniques or get used to new climbs, and tackle harder routes. “It’s scary to be on the edge of stuff,” he told me five years ago. “Even a hill, or a road with a steep drop-off is a problem.”

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,924 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Anxiety in Women: The 5 Most Common Symptoms

Anxiety in women is different from anxiety in men. Overall, women report more anxiety. Women are 60% more likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Women also face different stressors, because they have somewhat different life and work challenges. Womens' biggest stressors are money and work – almost 80% of women worry about money, and about 2/3 worry about work. Over half of all women feel significant stress about family responsibilities, and both personal health and family health.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,778 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Top 10 Questions about Neurofeedback

As a board certified neurofeedback practitioner, I've helped clients make significant changes in their lives for the past 5 years using the tool of neurofeedback. Recently, with publication of Bessel van der Kolk's new book, The Body Keeps the Score, my office has been getting a flurry of calls from people with a variety of conce s who are wondering, "Is neurofeedback right for me?" I thought I'd share with you some of the questions that have come up, along with my answers. Here are the top 10: 1. What's neurofeedback?r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,760 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

What it Really Takes to Get Good Grades (and it’s Not about Being Smart)

If you’ve ever wondered how to get good grades, maybe something like this has gone through your mind… I’m not good at languages. History isn’t my thing. I’m not a math person. I often hear comments like this from my clients when they’re explaining a low test score or struggling with a tricky assignment. These comments seem logical in the moment. But they’re not. In fact, statements like these are part of one of the biggest ever myths about learning.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,758 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Does Worry Wake You Up? 5 Simple Ways to Help When You Can’t Sleep

I can’t sleep,” Shelly said. “I mean, I don’t have much trouble falling asleep. But then I wake up at three in the morning and can’t get back to sleep.” For Shelly, it started with a combination of a fast-paced job and the hormonal changes of pregnancy. While those things started her insomnia problem, it was worry that kept it going. In the wee hours of the morning she was solving problems, rehashing conversations, and making plans. One of her biggest worries was about whether or not she was going to get enough sleep. The cycle was self-perpetuating. A sleep-deprived nation

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,665 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

What's YOUR Biggest Challenge for the New Year?

In the past month I've been checking in with my clients about how far they've come and where they want to go next. We've been focusing on what matters to them most as they look forward to 2015. Aleesha is looking for meaningful work. She tells me that education jobs are scarce, and indeed she's sent quite a few letters and had little response. Brendan is working long hours at a startup, and his wife is complaining. He feels impossibly pulled between the demands of the two people he cares about most.r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,629 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

The Truth About Stress

Stress has a bad rap. Stress can create problems, to be sure. Some of the more common ones are include difficulty concentrating, trouble with focus and memory, moodiness, frustration and overwhelm. There are physical symptoms as well – low energy, headaches, trouble with digestion, aches and pains, and trouble with sleep. In fact, up to 80% of doctor visits are for “stress related ailments and complaints”. These things seem undecidedly bad. But here’s the truth about stress: sometimes, part of the problem is how you think about the problem. Stress isn’t really one thing; it’s two.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,625 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Neurofeedback for Anxiety: How Does it Work?

What's possible with neurofeedback for anxiety? Imagine you're driving through the countryside on a beautiful day, but your car isn't working. The gears keep getting stuck, and the gas pedal is jammed down. It's pretty scary. When you can't shift gears, you can't respond well to the bumps (or the boulders) in the road. So instead of enjoying the scenery, you're constantly focused on what might go wrong and how you can prevent it.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,624 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

The Science of Love Part I: Calming the Hurricane

I love Rich," Diana told me during our first session. "But I don't know if we can stay together. The arguments we have are too painful. The wounds are too old and deep." "And I love Diana," Rich echoed. "And respect her. But we see the world completely differently. That's just how it is. Maybe we can learn to communicate a little better, but I don't see how the fundamentals are going to change." I knew that it wasn't differences that were pulling Rich and Diana apart. It was the "cycle" they were in, the way they interacted with each other.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,623 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

3 Ways to Help Your Teen Manage School Stress

Most teens (83%) say that school is a significant source of stress in their life. Here's how you can help your teen manage school stress... For teens, stress looks like this: Getting to school late -Feeling irritable -Feeling tired a lot -Crying a lot...or snapping at you -Leaving things until the last minute, and then panicking If you’re like most parents, you want to help your teen manage school stress...but sometimes you’re not sure how. Or you have some ideas about what might help, but your teen isn’t listening. Laying bricks and a shift in perspective

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,612 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Drifting Apart and How to Reconnect

Drifting apart “We’re drifting apart,” Sara said during our first meeting. Her husband, Daniel, agreed. They got along well enough, but lived more like roommates than a married couple. It’s not just couples who drift apart, of course. Friends lose touch, colleagues move on, children forget to write home. The process feels inevitable, and sometimes it is. But much more often there are reasons for the greater distance.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,583 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Do We Need Anxiety? Thoughts for Entering the New Year

Remember the last time you listened to a great piece of music? For some pieces, the music gradually increases in intensity until it reaches a crescendo, the loudest or most exciting part, and then resolves. As the music builds and fades, so does your own feeling of excitement. A crescendo is like the climax of a story, or the inspirational moment in a good speech. Maybe you've also heard a song with no crescendo. It doesn't go anywhere. Without a rise in intensity music might be relaxing, but it's often boring.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,561 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

What it Really Takes to Get Good Grades (and it’s Not about Being Smart)

If you’ve ever wondered how to get good grades, maybe something like this has gone through your mind… I’m not good at languages. History isn’t my thing. I’m not a math person. How to get good grades I often hear comments like this from my clients when they’re explaining a low test score or struggling with a tricky assignment. These comments seem logical in the moment. But they’re not. In fact, statements like these are part of one of the biggest ever myths about learning.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,549 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Mindfulness for Busy People

Elizabeth knew that something was wrong at work. She was being interrupted during discussions, ignored in conversations, and excluded from meetings. She didn’t have a clue what it was about, but the stress of not knowing was undermining her confidence. Elizabeth felt confused, disoriented, and afraid for her job. She called me because, not surprisingly, she couldn’t sleep. And she wanted advice. Should she work every weekend to really impress her boss with her dedication? Meet with her boss and demand an explanation? Resign? Work from home? Hire an atto ey?

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,535 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

End Procrastination Around Homework: A 3 Minute Strategy for Teens

The Homework Bottleneck Do you wish sometimes that there was a simple way to end procrastination around homework? First, take a minute and ask yourself which of these scenarios sounds more like your teen? Both students have the same class and homework assignment. Student 1 walks in the door after school, drops his backpack by the front door, and gets a snack. You ask about homework, but he says that he needs a break first. You notice him texting friends until dinner time.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,532 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

One-Minute Stress Management Tools: 5 Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool

Stress can help…to a point Stress management tools are part of your early warning system. Feelings of tension alert you to things you need to take care of, so you can move on to more important things, like getting your work done and having fun with your kids. When your early warning system doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, it’s less like the whirring of a well-functioning motor and more like the annoying high-pitched beep of a super-sensitive smoke alarm. Stress management tools keep your warning system working at its best.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,504 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Anxiety-Free New Year's Resolutions

Anxiety Free New Year’s Resolutions The new year is only a day old, and my client Wendy is looking at her list of resolutions. They’re the things she’s focused on every January for the past three years – more exercise, better eating habits, more accomplishment at work, more patience with her kids. They are worthy goals, but somehow each year they get lost in the rush of activity of everyday life. Her work feels stressful, her family life busy, she has a hard time drifting off to sleep, and she doesn’t have time for downtime.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,493 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Relationships: Keys to an Effective Apology

"All I want is an apology." Even with the best of intentions, it's easy to mis-step. You're a few minutes late. You forget to bring home the radishes even though you promised. You get frustrated and raise your voice. You kick off your shoes by the door and someone trips over them. You finish someone's sentence for them, and they're miffed. So you apologize, right? It sounds simple. But apologies, for most people, are tricky. My clients Lisa and Jeff had been negotiating their morning division of labor, which included getting two kids up and to school on time.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,475 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

End Procrastination Around Homework: A 3 Minute Strategy for Teens

The Homework Bottleneck Do you wish sometimes that there was a simple way to end procrastination around homework? First, take a minute and ask yourself which of these scenarios sounds more like your teen? Both students have the same class and homework assignment. Student 1 walks in the door after school, drops his backpack by the front door, and gets a snack. You ask about homework, but he says that he needs a break first. You notice him texting friends until dinner time.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,458 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Motivation: What to do When You Don't Feel It

One of my clients, Janae, wants to start a new exercise program this summer. “I'm out of shape,” she said. “I know I have to do something. But how do I get motivated?” Another client, Miles, has a big test coming up, but he puts off studying. “I have the time,” he says, “but not the motivation. How can I get myself to do it?” I hear this a lot. Whether you want to lose weight, clean the garage, prepare for a test, or finish a project, you have to find a way to start. Sometimes motivation is elusive. If you don't feel it, however, you need to create it.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,339 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

3 Simple Shifts for a Stress-Free Holiday: A Busy Person's Guide

This time of year, you'll find quite a few articles about having a stress-free holiday. A quick search on Google brings up almost 63 million. First, you'll find generalities: • How to avoid overwhelm: be realistic Blog_Art_1028a_Holidays • How to survive holiday parties: set aside your differences • How to get it all done: ask for help Good ideas, as far as they go. Who doesn't want to be realistic? Who wouldn't love to set aside differences? But if it were that easy, you would have already done it. You need something more solid.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,330 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

How to Manage Emotional Risk So You Can Get Outside Your Comfort Zone

What would you love to do that you’re not doing yet? One of my clients, Melanie, wanted to wanted to inspire her colleagues by sharing her approach to teaching students to write. But, she asked herself, what if someone asks a questio I can’t answer? Or what if the projector fails and I have to stop in the middle? Her worry made it hard for her to get motivated to prepare her talk.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,325 views

By Pat LaDouceurRecently published1 topic

Where Complaints Come From

Let's start with what counts as a complaint. If you tell your doctor about your headache, for example, that's not a complaint. That's because there's a good chance your doctor can help. So here's the definition: a complaint is talking about something you don't like to someone who can't help. Complaints are often well-intended. Some of the reasons people complain are: • To connect. It's a way of showing that we're all in the same boat, so to speak. Shared suffering creates feelings of solidarity. The intent is to offer emotional support. “Yeah, my drive was awful too.”

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,256 views

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