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Articles by Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.

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By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.May 18, 20051 topic

WHY YOU WANT WHAT YOU CAN'T HAVE

âYou canât always get what you want . . .â The Rolling Stones will soon be singing this refrain at venues around the world, as they embark on a year-long concert tour in August. nnThis song, now decades old, addresses a universal truth. Hereâs the rest of the refrain:nnYou can't always get what you want . . .nBut if you try sometimesnYou just might findnYou get what you need.nnnWhat is it that you really wanted and didnât get? The affections of a person who was with

Primary topic: Psychology

43,852 views4/5 (2)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Mar 21, 20041 topic

MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT ANGER

MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT ANGER nnAlthough anger is one of the most common emotions that people have, it is the least understood. These phrases are probably familiar to you:nnâIf someone hits you, hit âem back.ânâTurn the other cheek.â nâDonât get angry; get even.ânnHave you noticed how they contradict each other? Thatâs because anger is a very complex emotion. Attempts to simplify it result in the following MISPERCEPTIONS: nn1. That all anger is unhealthy or de

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

15,050 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Sep 14, 20031 topic

DO SCHOOL UNIFORMS MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

A few days ago I was talking with a friend about school uniforms. "Back in my day," she lamented, "we didn't have the problems in school that we have now. Kids respected authority. They didn't talk back. They had to do their homework, and if they didn't, there were consequences. There was much more order. Sure, there were some fights, but the worst that happened was an occasional black eye. Nobody was shot or stabbed.nn"And you know what else?" she added. "Back then we had to

Primary topic: Child Development

Child Development

9,641 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Apr 13, 20041 topic

Are you always late?

âFashionably lateâ is no longer in fashion. In todayâs heavily scheduled world, it is the punctual who are respected and admired. Even though most of us know this, some people are always late, no matter how much time they have to get ready. You may be one of them. Do any of the following sound familiar?nn** You're always rushing at the last minute, even though you've promised yourself countless times that you wouldn't let this happen again.nn** You've tried setting your

Primary topic: Happiness

17,363 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Oct 19, 20031 topic

ARE SPORTS HEROES MORE TROUBLE-PRONE?

Assault. Rape. Head injuries. Drug abuse. DUI. These words have appeared in newspaper headlines for decades -- but NOT in the sports pages, until recently. Nowadays stories of athletes behaving badly are regular fare in the sports news.nnJust recently we have seen two brawls in a single Yankees/Red Sox game, which resulted in injuries and fines. Basketball player Kobe Bryant was accused of rape. Tampa Bay football player Warren Sapp was fined $50,000 for shoving and using abu

Primary topic: Sports

3,493 views3/5 (2)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Nov 11, 20031 topic

WHY DIETS MAKE YOU CRABBY

If youâve ever been on a diet you know the feeling of irritability that sets in after a few days. Nutrition experts have attributed this feeling to a physical state of deprivation, such as low blood sugar or dehydration. nnWhile these conditions do have a definite effect on mood, they donât tell the whole story. Consider the fact that you are not ALWAYS crabby when hungry or thirsty, even though your body may be in a state of deprivation. nnDiet-related crabbiness stems n

Primary topic: Dieting and Weight Loss

Dieting and Weight Loss

2,158 views3.5/5 (2)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Feb 16, 20031 topic

IN THE FACE OF TERRORISM, YOU'RE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK

IN THE FACE OF TERRORISM, YOU'RE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK nnBy Pauline Wallin, Ph.DnClinical PsychologistnAuthor, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior"nnIn the weeks and perhaps months to come, the world will be on edge as events unfold in the Middle East and the United Nations. In the USA citizens have been put on "terrorist alert" with instructions to buy duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect themselves. I don't know about you, but it

Primary topic: Stress Management

Stress Management

1,713 views3.5/5 (2)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Jul 12, 20031 topic

Keep your marriage alive and well with humor

Copyright Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. 2003. All rights reserved nnnMarriage is relatively easy. It's the staying together afterward that's hard. But don't say you weren't warned. Most traditional wedding vows list problems that are bound to come up: nn"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health . . ."nnThere certainly will be times when things are worse rather than better; when money is tight; and when one of

Primary topic: Happiness

2,618 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Aug 2, 20051 topic

Why not "Why?"

When things don't turn out as expected or desired we often ask, "Why?" But most of the time the answer won't help. I'll explain in a minute.nnFirst let's examine the different meanings of the word, "why."nnFor very young children, "Why?" is an expression of curiosity, a way to learn about their world: "Why is the sky blue?" "Why do people die?" "Why does that lady have such a big tummy?"nnAs kids get older, "why" takes on new meanings: "Why can't I stay up later?" "Why do I a

Primary topic: General Self Help

General Self Help

1,329 views4/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Feb 16, 20031 topic

Are you taking your inner brat to work?

ARE YOU TAKING YOUR INNER BRAT TO WORK?nBy Pauline Wallin, Ph.DnAuthor of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior"nnnIs your inner brat taking over your job? Everyone has an inner brat. It's the part of us that's still a 2-year-old. It gets furious at the slightest inconvenience. It feels entitled to get what it wants when it wants, and complains when things don't go its way. Your inner brat not only makes you miserable, it makes work unpleas

Primary topic: Career Development

Career Development

1,844 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Jul 18, 20031 topic

SCHOOL SHOPPING: Less is better for your wallet and your kids

You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included and the article is published in its entirety. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated. Send it to mailto:drwallin@drwallin.comnnSCHOOL SHOPPING: Less is better for your wallet and your kidsnnBy Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.nAuthor of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior"nnWord count: 673nCopyright Pauline Wal

Primary topic: Parenting

1,788 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Sep 14, 20041 topic

EXPLANATIONS? . . . OR EXCUSES?EXPLANATIONS? . . . OR EXCUSES?

EXPLANATIONS? . . . OR EXCUSES?nnWhich of the following "explanations" have you heard (or used!) in the past few weeks?nnn* I need to reward myself for being so good.nn* The boss hates me.nn* It's been too hot (too cold, too rainy) to exercisenn* Of course I have problems. I'm a middle child.nn* It was the alcohol talking.nnnIt's pretty obvious that the above "explanations" are basically excuses for avoiding responsibility. Your âinner bratâ uses such excuses to justify o

Primary topic: Happiness

2,535 views2/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Nov 20, 20031 topic

WHO'S GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS? IS IT YOU . . . OR YOUR INNER BRAT?

WHO'S GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS? IS IT YOU . . . OR YOUR nINNER BRAT? nnBy Pauline Wallin, Ph.D Author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A nGuide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior"nnWord count: 890nnCopyright Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. 2003. All rights reserved nnWhen you go home for the holidays this year, leave your ninner brat behind. The inner brat -- that part of your npersonality that's still a two-year-old -- is responsible nfor much of the conflict that we see at family

Primary topic: General Self Help

General Self Help

1,493 views2.5/5 (2)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Dec 7, 20031 topic

Gifts That Last A Lifetime

IN THIS SEASON OF GIFT-BUYING, DON'T IGNORE THE MOST IMPORTANT GIFTS OF ALLnnIn this season of holiday gift buying, advertisers bombard us with messages, some of them contradictory. One ad tells us that the best way for men to show love is to spend three months' salary on a piece of diamond jewelry. On the other hand, MasterCard commercials remind us that there are some things ("Priceless" moments) that money can't buy.nn"Oh, that's a sweet sentiment," you might say, "but can

Primary topic: Parenting

1,567 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Jan 31, 20041 topic

VALENTINE'S DAY: WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Author, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior"nnnThe perfect card, the perfect gift, the perfect date . . . Isn't there enough pressure in relationships without having to live up to some romantic ideal on Valentine's Day? nnThis is not how the celebration of February 14 started out. Its origins stem from Pagan and Christian history. Back then there were feasts celebrating fertility, and later there was recognition of St. Valentine (whose ac

Primary topic: Love

1,566 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Jun 11, 20041 topic

Life Lesson From a Zit

One Saturday morning, at age 15, I looked in the mirror and was horrified to see a huge, red pimple on my forehead. To a teenager that is a major crisis, especially when half a tube of Clearasil only makes it look worse. Who would have predicted that this zit would teach me a life lesson?nnSilly now that I look back on this incident, but at the time I was consumed with shame. I even canceled my weekend plans because I didn't want to be seen in public. nnSo you can imagine my

Primary topic: Positive Thinking

Positive Thinking

1,539 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Aug 19, 20031 topic

THE JERK IS NEVER ME

Author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior"nnWord count: 558nnCopyright Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. 2003. All rights reserved n----------------nnComedian George Carlin once remarked, "Have your ever noticed? Anyone going slower than you is an idiot. Anyone going faster than you is a maniac."nnWhen we observe someone elseâs behavior -- especially negative behavior -- we attribute it to their personality. But when we make a mistake ourselves

Primary topic: Happiness

1,495 views3/5 (1)

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Jul 16, 20041 topic

YIKES! IâM TURNING INTO MY MOTHER!

If youâre like most people, you probably said to yourself at least once during your childhood or teens: âIâm never going to behave like my mother (or father) when I grow up.â Such thoughts would enter your mind especially when your parent treated you in a harsh manner, embarrassed you, or ignored you. nnAnd now you may find yourself behaving in the same bratty way toward others. How could this happen? Much to our chagrin, it's quite common to have some of the same neg

Primary topic: Psychology

5,991 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Jan 23, 20051 topic

ONE SENTENCE YOU SHOULD COMMIT TO MEMORY

âWouldnât it be nice if there was an Easy Button for life?â This question is the tag line to a TV commercial by the office supplies store, Staples. nnThe ad depicts people in various predicaments, including a bewildered boy called on by his teacher, a dad trying to change two babiesâ diapers at the same time, and surgeons about to perform an unfamiliar procedure. Each of these people, at the critical moment, pushes a big button with the word, âEasyâ written on it,

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,493 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Aug 14, 20041 topic

IF ONLY PEOPLE WERE AS GRATEFUL AS DOGS . . .

IF ONLY PEOPLE WERE AS GRATEFUL AS DOGS . . .nnnAs I gave my dog a small morsel of toast the other day, I reflected on how grateful a creature she is. Abby is just as thrilled to receive a crumb as she is to get a huge bone. She never complains that the crumb is too small, or too cold or too moldy even! She always wants more, but if I don't offer it she gets over it quickly. No sulking around for what she didn't get. nnWouldn't it be nice if more people were that way? Not tha

Primary topic: Happiness

2,177 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Dec 7, 20071 topic

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do - Especially For Men

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO -- ESPECIALLY FOR MENnnBy Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.nnnDivorce is harder on men than on women. Surprised?nnAfter all, it's the woman who suffers financially . . .who has to juggle work and kids on her own . . . who is more apt to end up in a therapist's office.nnMeanwhile, the man seems to go on with life, hanging out with his buddies, barely skipping a beat.nnTrue to all the above. But those points only describe external circumstances and behavior, not w

Primary topic: Divorce

1,551 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Jun 28, 20051 topic

VACATION HASSLES? TAKE A PICTURE!

Looking for some fiction to read this summer? Try a travel brochure. Those beautiful glossy pamphlets promise you the time of your life, with nonstop fun. To illustrate their promises, they show pictures of perfect people with perfect bodies and perfect teeth, frolicking and smiling. No one has sunburn, sore feet or indigestion. The children always look squeaky clean, and they never have tantrums. There are no mosquitoes, no flat tires, no thunderstorms . . . and no inner bra

Primary topic: Family

1,507 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Oct 21, 20041 topic

GET NO RESPECT? TRY THIS UNUSUAL APPROACH

GET NO RESPECT? TRY THIS UNUSUAL APPROACHnnLike the late Rodney Dangerfield, you may sometimes find that you "don't get no respect." In Rodney's comedy routine, disrespect was amusing. But in real life it fills us with indignation.nnOur typical response is sarcasm or avoidance. Has such a reaction EVER made a difference in getting more respect from others? I doubt it.nnToday I'm going to show you a better way to deal with disrespectful people who irk you, frustrate you, and d

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training

Communication Skills and Training

1,480 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Apr 16, 20061 topic

Stick To Your Diet With Online Diet Trackers

Are you one of the millions of people who will be starting a diet on Monday? The most important factor in losing weight is keeping a record of what you eat. In fact, research shows that the mere act of monitoring your food intake reduces the amount you eat!nnIf you are looking for a little help with motivation and with tracking your food intake and/or exercise, there are thousands of websites that offer tools, tips and articles. Here are some free ones for you to explore:nnht

Primary topic: Dieting and Weight Loss

Dieting and Weight Loss

1,407 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Jun 21, 20061 topic

4 Ways to De-Stress Your Wait Time

How do you feel about waiting in line, waiting on hold, and other forms of waiting? Is it stressful? Do you get impatient or angry? Does your "inner brat" demand that the wait be over? If so, you're not alone.nnSeveral years ago a Pittsburgh research firm estimated that each of us spends over 5 years of our lives waiting. Not all at once, of course, but a few annoying minutes at a time. nnWaiting can certainly be irritating and exasperating. But it need not be. The stressful

Primary topic: Stress Management

Stress Management

1,375 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Feb 26, 20051 topic

IF YOU COMPARE, BEWARE

Picture this scene: Little Johnny's mother places a large piece of chocolate cake on his plate. He's pretty happy with it -- until he glances over at his brother's portion and notices that it's even bigger than his own. Suddenly Johnny is no longer satisfied with what he got. He starts to pout and complain, and may even resort to throwing his cake on the floor. nnSound familiar? If you didn't have this experience growing up, you have surely observed it in others. And it's not

Primary topic: Success Coaching

Success Coaching

1,372 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Apr 18, 20051 topic

Life Happens

Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because I read it on a t-shirt. ;-)nnIt's one of those simple truths that most people agree with, even though they may not like the crude language. Life is full of unwelcome surprises. It does not progress in a flawless path, no matter how hard you try, no matter how cautious you are. nnSooner or later something happens to throw you off guard. It could be an accident, a disappointment or a loss of some kind. And such stuff doesn't happe

Primary topic: Positive Thinking

Positive Thinking

1,276 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Sep 3, 20071 topic

Is Your Child Being Bullied? How To Tell, And What To Do About It

Bullying is no trivial matter. Each month in the U.S. alone, over 28,000 kids are teased, ostracized or beaten up by their peers. And parents may not even be aware that it’s happening!nnMany kids will avoid reporting a bully because they have either been threatened not to tell anyone, or else they feel ashamed for not being able to handle the situation themselves.nnIs your child a victim of bullying? Look for the following signs – especially if they are of recent

Primary topic: Family

1,258 views

By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.Nov 20, 20051 topic

"Just say no" ain't enough to avoid holiday weight gain

The holiday season is coming up fast. For weeks magazines and newspapers have been printing recipes and alluring photographs of rich, mouth-watering goodies such as cookies, candies, dips, and calorie-laden drinks. nnThen, in the same issue, they offer guidance on how not to eat all this stuff. Pace yourself, they advise. Limit yourself to one tidbit every half-hour. Eat a salad before going to a cocktail party, so that you wont be tempted by all the snacks. Yeah, right - lik

Primary topic: Dieting and Weight Loss

Dieting and Weight Loss

1,245 views

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