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Browse published articles attributed to Sam Vaknin, with full-archive search.
Notes of first therapy session with T. Dal, female, 26, diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Dal is an attractive young woman but seems to be unable to maintain a stable sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Her confidence in her ability to "hold on to men" is at a low ebb, ...
The paranoid's world is hostile, arbitrary, malicious, and unpredictable. Consequently, he or she distrusts others and suspects them. No good deed goes unpunished. Every gesture of goodwill is surely fuelled by ulterior, self-interested and uncharitable motives. Paranoids are firmly convinced ...
Personality disorders are not only all-pervasive, but also diffuse and shape-shifting. It is taxing and emotionally harrowing to watch how a loved one is consumed by these pernicious and largely incurable conditions. Victims adopt varying stances and react in different ways to the inevitable ...
Patients with personality disorders have a body language specific to their disorder. It comprises an unequivocal series of subtle presenting signs. The patient's body language usually reflects the underlying mental health problem. For instance: people with Avoidant Personality Disorder and ...
Victims of abuse in all its forms – verbal, emotional, financial, physical, and sexual – are often disorientated. They require not only therapy to heal their emotional wounds, but also practical guidance and topical education. At first, the victim is, naturally, distrustful and even hostile. The ...
We are born with abilities of the first order (abilities to do) and of the second order (potentials, abilities to develop abilities to do). Our environment, though, is critical to the manifestation of these abilities. It is through socialisation and comparison with others that we bring our ...
("He" in this text - to mea "He" or "She"). We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu. It would seem that while the victim progresses from denial to helplessness, rage, depression and thence to acceptance of the tra
There is nothing special about the body language or behavior patterns of the abuser. If your abuser is a narcissist, his pathology is evident on first sight (read "How to Recognize a Narcissist"). But not all abusers are narcissists. Regrettably, most victims find themselves trapped long before ...
Even a complete battery of tests, administered by experienced professionals sometimes fails to identify abusers and their personality disorders. Offenders are uncanny in their ability to deceive their evaluators. They often succeed in transforming therapists and diagnosticians into four types of ...
The narcissist regards therapy as a competitive sport. In therapy the narcissist usually immediately insists that he (or she) is equal to the psychotherapist in knowledge, in experience, or in social status. To substantiate this claim and "level the playing field", the narcissist in the ...
It is clear that each abuser requires individual psychotherapy, tailored to his specific needs – on top of the usual group therapy and marital (or couple) therapy. At the very least, every offender should be required to undergo the following tests to provide a complete picture of his personality ...
Question: The narcissist is not entirely responsible for his actions. Should we judge him, get angry at him, be upset by him? Above all, should we communicate to him our displeasure? Answer: The narcissist knows to tell right from wrong. He is perfectly capable of anticipating the results of ...
Disclaimer Statistically, the majority of abuse victims are female and most abusers are male. Still, we should bear in mind that there are male victims and female offenders as well. Ideally, after a period of combined tutoring, talk therapy, and (anti-anxiety or antidepressant) medications, ...
Well into the eighteenth century, the only types of mental illness - then collectively known as "delirium" or "mania" - were depression (melancholy), psychoses, and delusions. At the beginning of the nineteenth century, the French psychiatrist Pinel coined the phrase "manie sans delire" (insanity without delusions). He described patients who lacked impulse control, often raged when frustrated, and were prone to outbursts of violence. He noted that such patients were not subje
There is great confusion regarding the terms co-dependent, counter-dependent, and dependent. Before we proceed to study the Dependent Personality Disorder in our next article, we would do well to clarify these terms. Codependents Like dependents (people with the Dependent Personality Disorder), codependents depend on other people for their emotional gratification and the performance of both inconsequential and crucial daily and psychological functions. Codependents are nee
Are all personality disorders the outcomes of frustrated narcissism? During our formative years (6 months to 6 years old), we are all "narcissists". Primary Narcissism is a useful and critically important defense mechanism. As the infant separates from his mother and becomes an individual, it is likely to experience great apprehension, fear, and pain. Narcissism shields the child from these negative emotions. By pretending to be omnipotent, the toddler fends off the profound
From an early age we are taught (at least in the USA) that there is no limit to what we can achieve; that if we wish to accomplish something all we need to do is set ourselves goals and then apply ourselves to their attainment. With time and dedication, we are told, positive outcomes are guaranteed and ineluctable no matter how high we set the bar. There are no unrealistic aspirations - only insufficient perspiration and lacking inspiration! This is a narcissistic and delusi
If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours, the media, teachers – in short, third parties – to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate ...
If you want the nightmare to end, there is a rule of thumb which requires courage and determination to implement: Involve the courts whenever possible. In many countries, the first step is to obtain a restraining order from a civil court as part of your divorce or custody proceedings or as a ...
By Sam Vakninr Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" This one volume cyclopaedia is maintained meticulously up to date by a dedicated team of scholar-contributors, headed by the indefatigable polymath, Dr. Chris Cook. Hundreds of entries in dozens of sections reflect the latest developments and knowledge in numerous areas of life. It is an astounding feat. The 2012-2013 edition of Pears Cyclopaedia was the first major revision in some time. It added consider
Having chosen your team of consultants and experts – and having hired their services – relegate any inevitable contact with your abusive ex – when and where possible – to professionals: your lawyer, or your accountant. Work with these qualified third parties to extricate yourself and your loved ...
Personality disorders cannot be safely diagnosed prior to early adolescence. Still, though frequently found between the ages of 3 and 6, Asperger's Disorder is often misdiagnosed as a cluster B personality disorder, most often as the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The Asperger's ...
Selecting the right professional is crucial. In the hands of an incompetent service provider, you may end up feeling abused all over again. Go through the following check list before you settle on a divorce atto ey, a financial consultant, a tax planner, a security adviser, or an accountant. ...
Many abusers have a specific body language. It comprises an unequivocal series of subtle – but disce ible – warning signs. Pay attention to the way your date comports himself – and save yourself a lot of trouble! Abusers are an elusive breed, hard to spot, harder to pinpoint, impossible to ...
The manic phase of the Bipolar I Disorder is often misdiagnosed as a Personality Disorder. In the manic phase of Bipolar Disorder, patients exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of certain personality disorders, such as the Narcissistic, Borderline, Histrionic, or even Schizotypal Personality ...
The DSM-IV-TR (2000) defines a personality disorder as: "An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations the individuals culture (and is manifested in two or more of his or her areas of mental life:) cognition, affectivity, interpersonal functioning, or impulse control." Such a pattern is rigid, long-term (stable), and recurrent. It manifests itself in all areas of life (it is pervasive). It is not owing to substance-abuse or
Notes of first therapy session with Sam V., male, 43, diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) Sam presents with anhedonia (failure to enjoy or find pleasure in anything) and dysphoria bordering on depression. He complains of inability to tolerate people's stupidity and ...
Abusers regularly deny the abuse ever took place – or rationalize their abusive behaviors. Denial is an integral part of the abuser's ability to "look at himself/herself in the mirror". There are many types of denial. When confronted by his victims, most abusers tend to shift blame or avoid the ...
By Sam Vakninr Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" All psychological theories can be classified by one or more of these dichotomies (pairs): Dualism vs. Monism The belief that the mind and the body are two separate entities (though in constant interaction via various mechanisms and pathways); OR The belief that the mind is nothing but an emergent phenomenon or a manifestation of and emanation from or a mislabelling physiological processes and qualities a
The Five Factor Model was suggested by two researchers, Costa and McCrae, in 1989. The designers of previous factor models sifted through bulky dictionaries and came up with thousands of words to describe human nature in all its variability. Not so the inventors of the Five Factor Model. It is ...
The Depressive Personality Disorder is not yet recognized by the DSM Committee. It makes its appearances in Appendix B of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, titled "Criteria Sets and Axes Provided for Further Study." It is not clear in what way is the Depressive Personality Disorder ...
Repeated abuse has long lasting pernicious and traumatic effects such as panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, flashbacks (intrusive memories), suicidal ideation, and psychosomatic symptoms. The victims experience shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, abandonment, and an enhanced sense of vulnerability. In "Stalking - An Overview of the Problem" (Can J Psychiatry 1998;43:473–476), authors Karen M Abrams and Gail Erlick Robinson write: "
Personality assessment is perhaps more an art form than a science. In an attempt to render it as objective and standardized as possible, generations of clinicians came up with psychological tests and structured interviews. These are administered under similar conditions and use identical stimuli to elicit information from respondents. Thus, any disparity in the responses of the subjects can and is attributed to the idiosyncrasies of their personalities. Moreover, most tests r
In the process of mediation, marital therapy, or evaluation, counselors frequently propose various techniques to ameliorate the abuse or bring it under control. Woe betides the party that dares object or turn these "recommendations" down. Thus, an abuse victim who declines to have any further ...
Notes of first therapy session with Mona, female, 32, diagnosed with Dependent Personality Disorder (or Codependence) "I know I won't actually die, but it often feels like it." - says Mona and nervously pats her aubu hair - "I can't live without him, that's for sure. When he is gone, it's ...
The International Classification of Diseases (ICD) is published by the World Health Organization in Geneva, Switzerland. It included mental health disorders for the first time in 1948, in its sixth edition. In 1959, following widespread criticism of its classificatory scheme, the WHO ...
Aron Levy, who kidnapped, murdered and dismembered 8-year old Leiby Kletzky in Brooklyn now faces a battery of defense-appointed experts in an attempt to plead NGRI (“Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity”). He has a history of “psychiatric disorders” and had been hearing voices, his lawyers claim. The insanity defense in criminal trials is nothing new. The Babylonian Talmud had this to say 1800 years ago: “It is an ill thing to knock against a deaf-mute, an imbecile, or a minor.
Our sexual behavior expresses not only our psychosexual makeup but also the entirety of our personality. Sex is the one realm of conduct which involves the full gamut of emotions, cognitions, socialization, traits, heredity, and learned and acquired behaviors. By observing one's sexual ...
Dependence on other people is a kind of addiction and, therefore, fulfills important mental health functions. First, it is an organizing principle: it serves to explain behaviors and events within a coherent “narrative” (fictional story) or frame of reference (“I acted this way because …”). Second, it gives meaning to life. Third, the constant ups and downs satisfy your need for excitement and thrills. Fourth, and most crucially, your addiction and emotional lability plac
Clinical Features of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder Opinions vary as to whether the narcissistic traits evident in in infancy, childhood, and early adolescence are pathological. Anecdotal evidence suggests that childhood abuse and trauma inflicted by parents, authority figures, or even peers provoke "secondary narcissism" and, when unresolved, may lead to the full-fledged Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) later in life. This makes eminent sense as narcissism is
There is nothing special about the body language or behavior patterns of the abuser. If your abuser is a narcissist, his pathology is evident on first sight (read "How to Recognize a Narcissist"). But not all abusers are narcissists. Regrettably, most victims find themselves trapped long before ...
The Viennese neurologist, Sigmund Freud, was among the first to offer a model of psychological development in early childhood (within the framework of psychoanalysis). He closely linked the sex drive (libido) to the formation of personality and described five psychosexual stages, four of which ...
Dominique Staruss-Kahn, the scandal-ridden former head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF) is entitled to the presumption of innocence until proven guilty. But, if he did try to rape the hotel maid in New-York in May 2011, his behavior would conform to the type of misconduct common among malignant narcissists. Narcissists in positions of authority and celebrity narcissists exhibit a confluence of three pernicious phenomena: pathological charm (i.e., the illusion of bein
Personality disorders are like tips of icebergs. They rest on a foundation of causes and effects, interactions and events, emotions and cognitions, functions and dysfunctions that together form the patient and make him or her what s/he is. The DSM uses five axes to analyze, classify, and describe these data. The patient (or subject) presents himself to a mental health diagnostician, is evaluated, tests are administered, questionnaires fulfilled, and a diagnosis rendered. The
Notes of first therapy session with Gladys, female, 26, diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder "I would like to be normal" - says Gladys and blushes purple. In which sense is she abnormal? She prefers reading books and watching movies with her elderly mother to going out with her ...
Narcissists are not prone to "irresistible impulses" and dissociation (blanking out certain stressful events and actions). They more or less fully control their behavior and acts at all times. But exerting control over one's conduct requires the investment of resources, both mental and physical. ...
Are personality disorders the outcomes of inherited traits? Are they brought on by abusive and traumatizing upbringing? Or, maybe they are the sad results of the confluence of both? To identify the role of heredity, researchers have resorted to a few tactics: they studied the occurrence of ...
Personality traits are enduring, usually rigid patterns of behavior, thinking (cognition), and emoting expressed in a variety of circumstances and situations and throughout one's life (typically from early adolescence onward). Some personality traits are harmful to both oneself and to others. These are the dysfunctional traits. Often they cause discomfort and the person bearing these traits is unhappy and self-critical. This is called ego-dystony. At other times, even the mos
A voluminous literature notwithstanding, there is little convincing empirical research about the correlation between personality traits and addictive behaviors. Substance abuse and dependence (alcoholism, drug addiction) is only one form of recurrent and self-defeating pattern of misconduct. ...
To embark on our exploration of the abusive mind, we first need to agree on a taxonomy of abusive behaviours. Methodically observing abuse is the surest way of getting to know the perpetrators. Abusers appear to be suffering from dissociation (multiple personality). At home, they are ...