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Browse published articles attributed to Susan Peabody, with full-archive search.
The following letter was written to one of my readers in response to his letter of April 13, 2004. He has given me permission to excerpt his letter so that others might benefit from my advice. Dear Tom, Thank you for sharing your story with me. I have excerpted some of your thoughts and made ...
Narcissism is a personality disorder. It stems from childhood abuse. When children decide that the world, and the people in it, are bad and that they are good, they have a skewed vision of life. They see the whole world as revolving around them. They see others as objects to gratify their needs. ...
FALLING IN LOVE WITH AN UNAVAILABLE PERSON Many love addicts find they have a history of falling in love with an unavailable person and they wonder why this keeps happening over and over again. The following is a list of the most common reasons love addicts keep falling into this ...
Some people believe forgiveness is important and others don’t. In his book Alcoholics Anonymous, author Bill Wilson (the co-founder of AA) discusses forgiveness and says its necessary for sobriety. He calls it “letting go of resentment,” not forgiveness, and says it’s not done to please others, but in the interest of self.
The Freudians use the term repetition compulsion to describe “the mind’s tendency to repeat traumatic events in order to deal with them.”1 Another Freudian term, the pleasure principle, describes the need of the infant to seek gratification.2 In adults, this would be called the “production of ...
I believe that to get well we have to face our fear. In 1982, when a friend suggested I go to a 12-Step program, I blurted out, “I can’t, I’m afraid they might cure me.” Little did I realize what I was saying about myself. It was years before I was able to face the fear I expressed to my ...
When it comes to toxic love and relationships, there are two kinds of people, those who love too much (the Love Addict), and those who love too little, (the Love Avoidant). If you vacillate between the two you are an Ambivalent Love Addict. Love Addicts: Love Addicts obsess about someone, and they cannot let go, even if their PoA (Person of Addiction) is unavailable or toxic. By this I mean they are: Afraid to commit; Cannot communicate; Unloving/distant; Abusive/controlling and dictatorial (narcissistic);r
Creating a relationship is like backing a cake. You must have the right ingredients, in the right amount (not too much and not too little) and you must put them together in the right order. The ingredients of a healthy relationship are as follows: 1. Honesty that engenders trust. 2. Readiness ...
To many people, the term “Seductive Withholder” is self-explanatory. SW’s are men and women who vacillate between being available and unavailable. One moment they are romantic, alluring, in pursuit and then suddenly (often without warning) they pull back and withhold ...
People like to tell me now and then that I am narcissistic. Yet I see myself as kind and generous. You might say I am in “denial,” about being a loving person, but there is actually some evidence to back up my perception of myself. I have a long history of “loving too ...
Those who vacillate between love addiction and love avoidance are called Ambivalent Love Addicts. Most Love Addicts and Love Avoidants are ambivalent at one time or another. They crave love, but they also fear it.
A lot has been written about love addiction and yet it is still a misunderstood disorder. For instance, many people believe that love addicts only run hot (passionately pursue someone who is unavailable like in the movie Fatal Attraction.) However, many love addicts also run cold (appear aloof)and yet they are still addicted.
Psychologically, triangles are very complicated. Most people don’t seek them out—at least not consciously. They just seem to happen. One moment you are happily single. The next thing you know you are in love with someone who is married. Or you are happily married and suddenly you ...
In the last decade, a lot has changed in the world of love addiction. Not that love addiction itself has changed. It is pretty much the same insidious disorder it always has been. What has changed is how the world looks at it. Twenty years ago, our understanding of love addiction was still ...In the last decade, a lot has changed in the world of love addiction. Not that love addiction itself has changed. It is pretty much the same insidious disorder it always has been. What has changed is how the world looks at it.