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Browse published articles attributed to Teri Goetz, with full-archive search.
When we think of surrender, many of us think of "giving up." By surrender, I don't mean give up and lie in bed. This is not, "I can't do this, so I quit!" QUITE the contrary. This is about Positive Expectation while allowing the Universe free rein on how to bring it on!
As we move from the shortest day of the year to days getting longer, we move into the holiday season. Winter, though a time of reflection, moves into high gear with a lot of moving parts, people coming and going — and often times, a lot of stress. It’s an odd sort of conflict because energetically, the earth wants us to stay quiet, but our holidays want us to move around. We vacation, travel to parents and grandparents, dinner parties and events. It can be exhausting, though fun and exhilarating.
What is your spiritual relationship with money? There’s a good chance it has a somewhat sordid tinge to it. Most of us are a bit ashamed to talk about how we really feel about it. We’d rather talk about details of our sexual intimacies, than our real relationship with money. Our deep, intimate relationship with money is really just like any other relationship. And, it is Spiritual.
Personal transformation is not selfish. It is not egotistical or self-centered to want to be the best person you can be. It is when people feel “less than” that they feel the need to prove their point, strike out, cause strife, hurt people. Those feelings are, obviously, evidence of the amount of pain someone is in. But it’s not always that overt.
Ok, did I get your attention? What I mean is, have you ever considered that we might better succeed by NOT getting what we think we want? That sounds counter intuitive to all the counsel I give about thinking positively, dreaming our dreams and writing affirmations – ALL of which are hugely important. But, I believe there’s another lesson to be learned by all of us. And, it’s not just that Spirit works in mysterious ways (which is true). It’s that sometimes we don’t listen to our intuition, our inner knowing.
Continually focusing on what isn't only gives more power to it. The universe doesn't really have an opinion about what you want or don't want. It just listens to you. So, if you are telling the universe that the status quo is okay with you, it will listen. The universe doesn't pick and choose who gets what they want. It doesn't say, "Oh, you are a better person, therefore you get what you want, but you? You're not worthy." It simply listens to the messages you are sending out.
Let's face it. As women we give. We do (a lot), we feel, we work, we play (though not enough play!). Do you get tired from so much giving? What I see happening very often with some of my clients is that they get tired, and they feel taken advantage of. But they also get pissed. All these behaviors come from fear. One reaction to the fear is to hide, afraid to shine your light. Why hide your light? Well, either you feel your light will make others feel bad, or will push others away because you are stepping out of the role expected of you, or you are simply scared of owning your power.
We all have our own stories. Have you ever heard yourself tell your personal story to someone else, almost as if you were talking about another person, like it was a script? You might have felt disconnected with the story (because you’ve told it so many times that even you’re bored with it). Or, you might tell it with a lot of emotion, feeling over and over again how you were abandoned as a child. Then it hurts again, right? Guess what...here’s a little tough love: It doesn’t have to.
Let’s say you really wanted something: a house, a new suit for that big interview or to pay for college for one of your kids. Maybe you wanted to (ahem) invest in a coaching program. You set your sights on it. You wrote intentions. You were sure you were going to find the money to do what you wanted. But it didn’t show up. What the heck is that all about? I’ll tell you–and this can change your life. (It changed mine!)
Transitions tend to be a time when we are very emotional. Part of the problem, then, is that we're not staying present if we're stuck in our emotional roller coaster. I hesitate to use the phrase "staying present" because it is so overused and people tend to glaze over when they hear that. But, it is so important.
The concept of yin and yang is used a lot in contemporary language, but the beauty and breadth of this concept is not always fully understood. Yin and yang can serve to guide and give us a framework for virtually anything life serves up. It's especially useful when approaching the inescapability of life's transitions, to create transformation in our lives.
There's a moment when negative thoughts arise in your head, unbidden. In that moment, you need to decide how you are going to think about a given situation or person. You know what I'm talking about. It's that moment where you feel the urge to indulge in a negative thought or say a negative comment, just as you would to scratch an itchy scab. You don't really want to go there, but it feels kind of good to indulge that kind of thinking.
We all lead busy lives. No doubt. The problem with living busy lives is that we forget, sometimes, about the living part. Part of living is in the everyday interaction. It’s seeing the person whose eyes you avoid as you walk down the street, or the waitress who served you, the person who refilled your water glass. It’s going to a networking meeting expecting to give rather than get. It’s telling someone you love them, just because.
When I talk about transitions, I am speaking about the major milestones in one's life. The saying that "the only constant in life is change" is true. But there is something a little different which occurs when we are facing one of life's major milestones - divorce, empty nesting, career change, moving out of a home, starting a new business - that is pure energy able to be put in motion and directed, and ripe with opportunity. It is big.
What is your relationship with money? There's a good chance it has a somewhat sordid tinge to it. Most of us are a bit ashamed to talk about how we really feel about it. We'd rather talk about details of our sexual intimacies, than our real relationship with money. Our deep, intimate relationship with money is really just like any other relationship. And, it is spiritual.
So, this is sort of my mini, juicy manifesto on love. Dig in. Did you know that you can actually cultivate more love within yourself? Love is not something that happens to you, it is something that is in you. Remember my constant refrain to always be aware of your thoughts because they create your emotions? Well, your thoughts can generate love within you. Love is something within you; it is the condition of your heart. You can "recondition" your heart by thinking loving thoughts and by having the awareness of love.
So, I’ve been going along, loving my life, loving my work. Spirit has been whispering in my ear, “Psst. Hey.” I listen, hear a little something, do a little tweaking, and continue right on with what I am doing. Some time goes by, and I get a stronger clunk on the head. Spirit says, “YO! I’m talking to you!” Okay, I listen closer and I begin to get new ideas, see things a little differently, take some action, but still I don’t quite act decisively.
We've all heard of the importance of positive thinking, affirmations, visualizations, and having dreams. But often these goals feel somehow so amorphous, that sometimes it feels a little like"hoo ha", doesn't it? Here's the key: if you make it just a mental exercise, it is ineffective. It's not hoo ha, it just doesn't work as powerfully as when you go beyond the mental.
First, let's get the definitions out of the way: Entitlement: the fact of having a right to something or, belief that one is deserving or entitled to certain privileges. Deservedness: something rightfully earned because of something done or qualities show; merited.
I conduct classes with the title, Shining Your Light, because I believe so strongly in this message: You are a light being and have a light that is unique to you. When you stay buried under all the details of life, your light dims, and eventually, is not even distinguishable in the existence you’ve carved out. Truth is, at times it feels more like “existence” than living. It is understandable that, because your life is teeming with duties and tasks, you don’t realize that you have forgotten to tend to the oil lamp and really live the life you want.
Holidays are often bittersweet. We (generally!) love being with family and/or friends, we love the sharing of stories, the non-denominational feel of being grateful. We love the food! But, as my friend Robin says, people tend to bring their baggage in along with their pies on Thanksgiving! Let's get a handle on that, shall we?
So many people start out the new year thinking, “Starting January 2 (because you give yourself that extra day to be ‘bad’ ) I’m going to …quit smoking, lose weight, go to the gym, open my own business, switch jobs, stand up for myself….” The list can go on and on, but the truth is, resolutions are generally flimsy. They’re limp. They aren’t backed up appropriately, and so they only serve to make you feel bad about yourself. So how do you begin to change things?
A journal from February 9, 2009: As I sit here on a Sunday morning in February, snow blanketing the ground, a light breeze making the chimes sing, I love the soft quiet. My girls, my ducklings, as I like to call them when they’re here together, are asleep in their beds. It’s nearly noon, and I know they are wallowing in the comfort of their beds, their home safe-space. And I’m loving the picture of it.
"Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true". - Cinderella What is the key to creating magic in your life? Well, I can promise you it's not by abdicating personal responsibility. It's not by being passive like Sleeping Beauty or hoping the white knight is going to save you. It's by taking responsibility for aligning your intentions with the Universe... and calling on your own resourcefulness to make your dreams come true.
You tell yourself you want something more. You tell yourself, at times, that you’re ready. And then you don’t act. Or, maybe you sabotage. Or, maybe you fail to see opportunities that are right under your nose. Why? You’re too worried about “the how.” When you worry too much about how something is going to happen, you begin to micromanage your life, your business and career, your relationships. You think that if you have every little detail in order, every hair in place, you won’t fail this time.
It happened without your noticing. “Yes!” slipped out of your mouth, even though you felt your shoulders rise, your stomach clench and your heart start beating a little faster. You feel resentment creeping into you as you leave the conversation. “Dammit! I caved again.” It’s a double whammy. You have piled one more thing onto your already over-full plate and you are mad at yourself for succumbing. You don’t like that you’re a pushover. (And perhaps you take on some self-sabotaging behaviors like eating or drinking to soothe yourself.)
For years, little pieces of me got lost in the cracks, in between the details of everyday life. I had this feeling of uncertainty, of something being off. I just knew there was more for me. I searched everywhere for myself. And then I released something, and that's when it happened.
It’s a simple question. And you probably know the answer. But you don’t want to go there. But first, what does it mean to “tolerate” something? By definition, if you are tolerating something, it is a negative in your life. You are “putting up with it,” and there is no positive feedback loop. We don’t have to tolerate things we love, things that are good for us, positive interactions and actions – we enjoy them, they feed us, and we get back from them. Okay, so what are you tolerating? Sometimes this question opens up a big can of angry worms. That is not the goal here!
During the holidays it's go-go-go! We easily become stressed, short-tempered and overwhelmed. I have a very simple suggestion for you that might seem obvious, but I don't see a lot of people (outside of my clients!) doing it! Take time for self-care! Seriously. I'm listing some ideas here to help you fill your oil lamp, put the oxygen mask on yourself first - however you want to see it. Taking care of you is vital to your, um, vitality! As well as your sanity.
Here's a challenge: Find inspiration in someone who bugs you. Yes, seriously. Find what it is this annoying person gives to the world. Look for why this person is special. You want to know why? Because when you do that, you realize that we are all beautiful, special individuals. We all come from the same creation. When you can see with new eyes that even those people in your life who annoy the heck out of you bring light to the world, you will begin to realize how special you are! And how much your light is needed. Because we are all connected; we are all made of the same stuff.
So, I might get on a soapbox here. Since when is self-care selfish? Why is investing in yourself so that you are whole, happy, and in love with your life self-centered? The idea that it is both good and admirable to suffer so that you can give to others is martyrdom. And useless, in my opinion. We see it everywhere - in men and women - but women tend to do the heavy lifting of nurturing and giving to others, often to the exclusion of self.
Guilt is an emotion you feel because you believe you’ve caused (or will cause) harm. Aside from objective evidence that you caused true (not perceived) harm to someone, I suggest you question the logic of your guilt. How did you come to the conclusion that you should feel guilty for wanting more? Let’s examine that. How could your wanting more be bad for the universe? How could it be guilt-worthy to desire to be more authentically you?
I like to think of each one of us like a branch on an enormous tree. We are a part of something bigger than each of us, yet we are a part of creator/spirit/universe. Because we are a tribe of one, and individually, a part of the whole, our ability to create our life is astounding. (In other words, if we are a part of everything, we are also spirit…and therefore a creator ourselves!) The problem is, we’re so often not paying attention to what we are creating. That means that we often create by default.
Phase I: Facing Judgment and Creating Awareness You've heard the phrase, "be here now." While it has become quite over-used and sadly, cliche'd, it does have enormous value. Be here now is more than just being present - which I've talked about before. Being present in this moment creates the future you desire - as opposed to obsessing about the past or worrying about the future.
I recently did an online survey to ask women what their biggest block to moving forward in their lives was. Almost overwhelmingly, the response was fear: fear of failure, fear of what others might think, fear of success, fear of being laughed at, fear of getting hurt. The list goes on. Since overcoming fear is pivotal to my programs, I want to talk about how to put a F.A.C.E to the name of fear.
You are always at choice. Even in the way you feel. No matter what happens to you, you can adjust the way you feel about it. Even if it's something you wish did not happen, and "negatively" effects you, you always have the choice to look at the event in another light.