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Tina Tessina/
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Articles by Tina Tessina

Browse published articles attributed to Tina Tessina, with full-archive search.

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Showing 151–200

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: How to be Civil to an Ex-Husband

[View the video here: http://youtu.be/1DM_RHzOBEk] The divorce was ugly, he was a jerk, but you still need to have contact with him because of your kids or finances. You hate to have to deal with him, but you have to. What can you do to make it better for yourself and your kids? Tina B. Tessina, PhD, "Dr. Romance" licensed psychotherapist and author, gives you ways to ignore his loutishness and make the relationship work for you. Dr. Romance’s 3 tips to dealing with a difficult ex:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,979 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance: When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships

Dr. Romance writes: Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and work together greatly increases the chance that you'll make it as a couple. When I’m counseling couples on the verge of divorce, it’s amazing how establishing mutuality allows the love to come back. Mutuality Prevents Heartache Hundreds of years ago, a Renaissance bard wrote:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,976 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Family Meetings

Every member of your family has a right to have his or her opinions respected. You dont have to agree or go along with what your child wants, but you should at least know what it is, and your child should know why you're overriding his or her preferences. Regular family meetings, where everyone including the children expresses feelings, negative and positive, and all of you work together to solve problems, can help a lot.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,975 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I Do My Best to Stay in My Loving Heart

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,973 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Autonomy vs Dependency

Self-determination and self-respect are the necessary keys to take full responsibility for and control over your own life. Without these keys, it's easy to be caught up in the fantasy that there is someone else who will make it better, who can or should take total care of you, who is able to be responsible for you more effectively than you can yourself.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,961 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: She cannot forgive all the hurt I have caused her

Dear Dr. Romance

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,960 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Family Violence Q&A

Q: My spouse and I often have arguments over the small stuff. How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,956 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: Holidays with Family and In-laws

Click Here for Video Dr. Romance on Holidays with Family and In-laws

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,947 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: To this day I am not sure why he became so angry

Dear Dr Romance: I hope you will be able to provide me with an insight.I was in a relationship with a man I genuinely loved and wanted future with. Our relationship was lovely to start with but after a few months problems started to emerge: another woman told me he was in a relationship with her and my trust was broken.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,944 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I don't want to resent my wife

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,942 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I Let Him Go?

Dear Dr. Romance: I read "Letting Go Takes Love" and it really spoke to me. I am in a situation and I was wondering if you could give me quick advice. I feel the need to let go of someone because he basically doesn't know what he wants. We have been going back and forth with the issue over a year now.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,941 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Says: Lighten Up: Cures for Marital Boredom

Dr. Romance writes: The old folk songs say it: Oh, love is handsome, love is finer Love is a jewel when it is new; But when love's old, it waxes coldr And fades away, like morning dew. Folk wisdom says it: If newlyweds put a penny in a jar for every time they make love in the first year, and take one out for every time after that, the jar will never be empty.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,933 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy I know online from a social site, he's ten years older tha I am. We've been in contact for several months. We now live in different countries. Recently, our chatting got intense and he told me that he likes me. We planned to meet up in another country. But he was suddenly never online and never contacted me even by email. I was really devastated.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,932 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I have a traumatic brain injury

Dear Dr. Romance: A lot has happened in recent weeks that has wreaked havoc on my life. A friend of twenty years, Told me he did not consider me a real friend, although I've been spending many hours helping him with gaming for years.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,931 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Attitude Adjustment

I have before about emotional hygiene and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want to?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,927 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance: Got a Tough Ex?

Relationships: Three Tips to Dealing with a Really Difficult Ex-Spouse Dr. Romance’s three tips to dealing with a difficult ex. 1. Choose your battles. One of my clients once said “I don’t want to die on that hill.” She meant: that battle isn’t worth what it will cost me – I’ll ignore that problem and save it for a bigger one. Don’t get into adversarial positions with your ex when it’s not necessary. Even if he or she drives you crazy, don’t become oppositional. Save your energy for the big issues. 2. Don’t react, respond.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,927 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Bet You Don't Know How To Apologize

Are you and your partner having a tough time getting over an argument? Here are some tips to help. 1. Surrender to your responsibility. When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it and apologize. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You don’t have to be afraid of punishment or rejection –- apologizing makes it easier to be forgiven.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,925 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Asking for What You Want

In my counseling office, I see a lot of damage done because people don't know how to ask for what they want, or don't think it's OK. Not asking for what you want means you'll eventually resent somebody, and that leads to a lot of strife. So today, I thought I'd give some hints about how to ask for what you want. To really be successful, you need to understand the difference between asking and demanding, and how to approach different people. The Importance of Wanting

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,924 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence

Last month, I received the following letter from an old friend, Lloyd Barnhart.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,921 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I Had to Pay for Everything

Dear Dr Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,918 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: Resolving Mother & Sister Fights

(To see the accompanying video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVCxndtpt0s) Often, the same quirks, reactions and behaviors that create problems between you and the female members of your famiy wouldn't be a problem if they was someone else's family. If your best friend's mom or sister did the same thing, you'd probably let it go, gloss over it and focus on what you like about her. The same techniques will work with your own sisters and mom. Try pretending they're someone else's family and see if that puts things is perspective.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,916 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane?

Anger is the emotional energy within each of us that rises up when something needs to change. If you act on the need to create change, your anger can be channeled effectively; but it’s not redirected to something effective, your frustration will build, sometimes to hurricane force.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,899 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I do not want to have to choose between family and love.

Dear Dr. Romance: I need some of your advice. You're the only one I could think of who would give me a sensible answer. Well, this situation might seem easy when viewed from the outside, but going through it myself really created stress for me. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN FAMILY AND LOVE. FOR ANY REASON!

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,897 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: It makes me very very upset, angry, pissed-off, and sad.

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,895 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Do You Respect The EX?

You're divorced, but you still see your ex. How do you handle it? Here are three tips to help. 1. Treat your ex as politely as you treat your friends or co-workers. Don’t be as familiar as you used to be. A little less familiarity will generate a little more respect. Say “Hello”, “Goodbye”, “Please” and “Thank You” – those magic words work as well for you as they do for your children. He’s extended family now, and as with extended family, you don’t have to like him, you just have to get along. 2. Stop blaming your ex for whatever went wrong.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,894 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I discovered he crossdressed

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,892 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: How to Propose Marriage

If video doesn't load, click here

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,892 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: on Dating as a Single Parent

To watch the video click here: Dr. Romance's Dating Guidelines for Single Parents As a single parent, you probably have so little free time that dating seems an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers, so if you’re looking for another “head of household” to date, you’ll find one, perhaps at LoveFilter.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,892 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Video: How to Decide Whether or Not to End Your Marriage

To watch video, click here Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these reasons to stay:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,891 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: What type of dating safety precautions should one take?

Dear Dr. Romance: How can one be sure that a person they met through a dating service is not disturbed in any way? What type of safety precautions can one take? Dear Reader:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,889 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance on Learning Forgiveness

Dr. Romance on Learning Forgiveness

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,887 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Do I Surprise Her with a Gift?

Dear Dr. Romance: I know I feel strongly about a certain someone. Do I surprise her with a gift or e-mail her with my recent feelings through a tough time? Dear Reader:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,885 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Letting Go Takes Love

When you feel beset in your life, and people close to you seem to be difficult and uncooperative, consider that they may be reflecting back to you the behavior your own anxiety is creating toward them. Learning to let go of your obsessively trying to control others can free you to receive the best they have to offerwhich may look different from what you think you want, but actually be the perfect gift.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,885 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

You Can't Fall Apart Now

3 Tips to Maintaining Your Sanity During Divorce Dr. Romance’s three tips to maintaining sanity during divorce. 1. Know your rights:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,884 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr Romance: he said I was expecting too much from this relationship

Dear Dr.Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,881 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a single mother, and I feel I'm past my prime.

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a 23 year old single mother and believe me when I say my life has been crazy and very rough. I have no relationship with the father of my child. He's pretty much abandoned our four yearl old son after his 1st birthday. He doesn't help out, and blames everything on me, so I don't even speak with him anymore.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,881 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm struggling with dismissing bad behavior

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,876 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I Really Wish I Could Go Back in Time and Fix This

Dear Dr. Romance, I have read some of your articles and am very impressed. I am about to write about something that will probably be one of the most bizarre cases you have ever heard. About 12 years ago, I felt a strong attraction towards a girl who was in my high school. We both were in our junior year. It was instantaneous. I think she felt the exact same way towards me.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,874 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Am I Strange?

Dear Dr. Romance: I am a university student majoring in English Translation in a Mid Eastern country. I find it difficult to attract other people's attention and it makes friendship nearly impossible. I love loneliness in a way that most of my friends don't approve. I feel happy sometimes but suddenly I do not like to be with anybody, even my close friends or loved ones. I just want to be alone.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,866 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: How can I move forward when I hit a setback?

Dear Dr. Romance: When one hits a setback in life what are some healthy ways to keep moving forward? How can one build a healthy mental outlook when things go wrong? Dear Reader:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,863 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

10 Reasons For Not Falling in Love

Although you might think of "falling in love" as romantic; we all fall in love many times in life: with a new lover, a new friend, a particularly cooperative co-worker, an appealing movie or TV star, a caring neighbor, siblings, relatives and even pets. Any close relationship involves falling in love at least a little bit, and it's these connections that make life pleasurable.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,861 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Comforting the Little Orphan Girl

When life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. Needless to say, I was devastated; and I also survived and eventually, thrived. But little orphan girl doesn’t remember that I made it through – she sinks into despair.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,859 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Detox Your Life

Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how to handle it. 1. Frequently later

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,859 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Technology and Love

Technology can have a big impact on relationships. In my counseling office, I see many couples who are struggling over Internet and social media issues. The ability to work at home via computer and smart phone can mean arguing about how work spills over and absorbs relationship time. Secrets that cause friction can come out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media sites. Online gaming, porn and gambling can become addictive, and ravage families.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,855 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Overwhelmed to the Point I Want Out

Dear Dr. Romance: I read some of the things you stated about marriage and why people divorce. I am feeling overwhelmed lately to the point I just want out. I have been married for over 17 years. We have 2 school-age children together. I am in school full time and work full time and still have a household to run. Can you please help me find a counselor? You are a blessing to all who reads and speak with you. Keep doing your daily work. God Bless. Dear Reader:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,851 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: I Can't forget him after 10 years

Dear Dr. Romance:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,850 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dear Dr. Romance: Am I Single?

Dear Dr.Romance: My friends were joking that I have never been single, and I argued that I have - but they said my definition of being single was wrong! true, I tend to have long term relationships, but before I met my last boyfriend I was "single" for nearly a year. I define this as not exclusively being in a committed relationship with any one person, but yes I dated a few guys. they say that because I was dating, I wasn't single.... what is your view on this?? (i'll award best answer to someone who supports my argument lol) Dear Reader:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,849 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Fair Fight Guidelines

A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,849 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Public Politeness

Dr. Romance writes: How do you feel when you walk into a public rest room and there are papers all over the floor, unflushed toilets, and wet toilet seats? How do you feel about drivers who tailgate, zip around the roads going over the speed limit, and hog the road?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,846 views

By Tina TessinaRecently published1 topic

Dr. Romance on Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness

Dr. Romance writes:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,846 views

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