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Browse published articles attributed to Tina Tessina, with full-archive search.
Dear Dr. Romance: I read "Letting Go Takes Love" and it really spoke to me. I am in a situation and I was wondering if you could give me quick advice. I feel the need to let go of someone because he basically doesn't know what he wants. We have been going back and forth with the issue over a year now.
Dr. Romance writes: If you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. *If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably not survive.
In reading philosophical teachings and writings, I often wonder why the body and the ego are seen so negatively, as if they somehow are antithetical to spirituality. Although ego, body and mind are not all we are, each is part, an expression of the whole self, included in our precious gifts from God, the Universe, Life, Spirit. It would be as sensible to hate or degrade a mathematical problem given me by a teacher for learning purposes. Of course I can be frustrated in my efforts to solve a difficult problem; that is merely an expression of my eage ess to achieve.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Richard and I just indulged in our early December tradition – we watched our favorite Christmas movie, "Scrooge!." the musical starring Albert Finney, which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year. No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a celebratory time of year. For some it's a joy, for others a nightmare, and pressure to spend too much, eat too much, and socialize in ways you don't like. If your Holiday expectations are out of line with what you can really accomplish, you'll be stressed.
"And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged... You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing." -- Doris Lessing
Dr. Romance writes: Extreme makeovers are all the rage these days, with botox injection parties, and reality shows. Plastic surgery is on the rise. Many people are trying to match the extraordinary measures actors and actresses go through to look perfect on the screen. These are shortcuts taken to try to create happiness with a scalpel, a diet, or an implant, and they don’t fulfill their promise. Beautiful people are not automatically happy people.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance writes:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Every member of your family has a right to have his or her opinions respected. You dont have to agree or go along with what your child wants, but you should at least know what it is, and your child should know why you're overriding his or her preferences. Regular family meetings, where everyone including the children expresses feelings, negative and positive, and all of you work together to solve problems, can help a lot.
Dear Dr. Romance, I just wanted to express to you how I thoroughly enjoyed your article about how there should be a tennis match type of communication. The guy I like hasn't been responding when he usually responds and though he's a busy professional, I get upset that he hasn't been responding at all.
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance writes: Myths and Expectations about Fighting:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance writes:
Dear Dr. Romance: I am writing to you for some advice... I hope you can help.
Dear Dr. Romance:
This arrived in Dr. Romance 's e-mail:
Dr. Romance writes: The founding fathers of our country saw the “pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right – so important they embedded it in the DNA of the United States of America, by writing it into the Preamble to the Constitution. It was a profoundly new idea at the time. With it, they set wheels in motion that have been turning ever since.
Dear Dr. Romance: My husband complains that life is a habitrail that he has to get on everyday and he is not being reloaded. I have tried everything I know how to make things better for him. I don't know how to reply anymore, and honestly I am not sure there is anything I can do.
Dr. Romance writes: This is often called the Season of Peace, as in "Peace on Earth; Good Will to Men" Yet there is so much unrest in the world today: the world is still involved in wars, terrorism seems to be endemic worldwide, and domestic violence and hatred still dominate the news. Today's world needs more people living peace.
Dear Dr. Romance, I am a PhD student in Computer Science and Mathematics in Europe. I am interested in your blog which helps to a lot of people to find the best solution in their lives. I have also some problems in my private life. I would be very grateful if you could give me some advice.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance writes:
Dear Dr. Romance: My husband left to be with a much younger women. The problem became obvious in our marriage 3 years ago. I thought It would be something we would surpass.
Anger is the emotional energy within each of us that rises up when something needs to change. If you act on the need to create change, your anger can be channeled effectively; but it’s not redirected to something effective, your frustration will build, sometimes to hurricane force.
Dear Dr. Romance: I was dating this guy for about two years. During the time that we were together we had some good times and bad. For one he was cheating on me with another girl then we got back together. During that time we worked hard to make the relationship work then I found out that he was sleeping with someone else. When I found this out, I finally left him alone.
(To see the accompanying video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVCxndtpt0s) Often, the same quirks, reactions and behaviors that create problems between you and the female members of your famiy wouldn't be a problem if they was someone else's family. If your best friend's mom or sister did the same thing, you'd probably let it go, gloss over it and focus on what you like about her. The same techniques will work with your own sisters and mom. Try pretending they're someone else's family and see if that puts things is perspective.
Dear Dr. Romance,
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: My son is having a substance abuse problem. It surfaced a few months ago, he promised to stop, and I just caught him using it again. He just turned 18. What can I do to help him? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance: My husband has always suffered from abandonment issues. His mother & mate al grandmother were abusive and non-nurturing. They dangled the carrot of money as his reward but criticized him for everything about himself and cited the reason he helped them and loved them was for the money. By the way, it was not a large sum. They told him he was stupid and worthless. His father died when he was about 10.
In my counseling office, I frequently deal with people who've heard the dread phrase, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." How can it happen that a couple who were once thrilled with each other can fall out of love? It seems like a mystery, but it's not. And, it's frequently fixable. Couples fall out of love for three main reasons: • They don't understand the difference between infatuation and love,
Dear Dr. Romance:
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
Announcing: Dr. RomanceTM’s Guide to Finding Love Today
I read your book How To Be a Couple and Still Be Free
Want to know how to handle being dumped? It's less about communication than you think! DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts. But count your lucky stars. You don't have a relationship if the other person's not really interested. DO understand that there were problems already It's never easy to find out that your relationship—whether long or short—is over. Once bonded, even if the relationship is terrible, both men and women have trouble breaking away. So if you're dumped, the other person really wanted out.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I am so happy I could find someone like you to talk to. I am a regular guy and I use your articles for my relationship and it has really helped me. But I am sending you this mail because I need your assistance and i need it fast.