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Browse published articles attributed to William Cottringer, with full-archive search.
THE FOUR STAGES OF ORGANIZATIONAL DEVELOPMENTnby William Cottringe nnn The human potential movement of the early seventies employed a helpful frame of reference to understand the process of interpersonal group development. This model involves four distinct stages of development: ...
BEING OKAY WITH BEING AVERAGE Byr Bill Cottringer “Ain’t no man can avoid being born average, but there ain’t no man got to be common. ~Satchel Page. In reality, the great majority of people fall within the “average” range of the so-called Bell Curve.
“There is no squabbling so violent as that between people who accepted an idea yesterday and those who will accept the same idea tomorrow.” ~Christopher Morley. This article title is not a rhetorical question at all. In fact it might be one of the most important questions to ask and answer as we approach what some self-growth, human potential gurus suspect to be the dawn of a “new conscientious” in the on-going evolution of our civilization, at the important date of 2012.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss. Just like glue appearing to be very smooth until you touch it, communication can seem to be that way too, at least until you actually try to undue miscommunication already out on the table. Today we should all be very conce ed that miscommunication is much more prevalent than good communication.
Why Do Bullies Bully?nby Bill Cottringe nn“Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke.” ~Benjamin Disraeli.nnn I am beginning to think that a very widespread problem today, especially with youth, is the problem of perceiving you are being bullied (by life, parents, teachers, peers, employers, ...
SUCCESSFUL SUPERVISION: SEVEN SURE SOLUTIONS Byr Bill Cottringer “You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself.” ~Galileo Galilei.
How Do You Get Rid of Negative Thoughts? By Bill Cottringe n“All negativity is an illusion created by the limited mind to protect and defend itself.” ~Ambika Wautersn n By now the power of “The Secret” is commonplace knowledge. Since you attract what you ask for, the real secret is ...
“He who doesn't accept the conditions of life sells his soul.” ~Charles Baudelaire. There are ten no-cause things I have found some people needlessly beat themselves up over. It just makes more sense to accept reality as it is with these particular things and move on to greener pastures worth mowing and watering. 1. Stop short-changing yourself for whatever seems to be the justification because there isn’t any. Everybody deserves abundance, well-being and a good life. If your ship hasn’t come in or no one is knocking at your door, build one right away (a ship or a door).
How To Avoid Out-Aging Yourself Out Of A Job Byr Bill Cottringer “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” ~ Mark Twain.
TEN SURE WAYS TO SUCCEED IN THE WORKPLACE Byr Bill Cottringer “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” ~Oscar Wilde.
Make Your Point! Byr Bill Cottringer “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ~George Be ard Shaw.
“There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy and its only reward is that it’s easy.” ~Anonymous chooser. It seems like a lifetime ago that I wrote the book “You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too, with all the clever ways to crack the ancient paradox of you can’t have your cake and eat it too. And every day since, I have grown into a much deeper understanding and appreciation of what the successful resolution of this major challenge actually means and involves.
Live, Love & Laugh Byr Bill Cottringer “When done correctly by individuals, living, loving and laughing greatly improve the quality of life for humanity.” ~The author. The more you do these three things, the more successful and happier you and others will be. But first you have to translate the ideas and meanings of these things into actions that get results. Here are some suggestions on how to do that. LIVE Living means letting go and trusting life to take you where the whole flow is going in the long run.
Finding Your Way Out of the Swamp When you Are Shoulder-Deep in Alligators Byr Bill Cottringer “No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.” ~Voltaire. Scene. Picture this: A Cold, foggy, and damp early morning when you find yourself under-dressed and shoulder-deep in a swamp full of hungry alligators.
How to keep a Job in Tough Times Byr William Cottringer, Ph.D. “The quickest way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” ~Oscar Wilde. In tough economic times, it is not a good thing to be unemployed. And if you are lucky enough to have a job, you don’t want to do anything to lose it by doing or not doing something under your control. In most states misconduct or quitting for no good cause will keep you from being eligible for unemployment benefits. And sometimes, you can even be proactive to avoid being laid off.
How To Not Be Controlled By Fear, Failure, Turmoil & Unhappiness Byr Bill Cottringer “A life of all positives would be very negative and probably very boring.” ~The author.
The Only Relationship Article You Will Ever Have To Read (Really) Byr Bill Cottringer “Good relationships are when your head, heart and hands agree most of the time and besides it doesn’t matter quite that much.” ~The author. Centuries of research would agree that relationships fail for three main reasons. You will probably want to find out these three reasons for three different reasons of your own: 1. You are starting a relationship and want to be smart and avoid preventable failure. 2.
What You Don't Know Can Hurt You Most. byr Bill Cottringer “There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out.” ~ Russian Proverb. What you don't know about a situation is what usually results in not feeling good about things, especially about the gap between where you actually are and where you really want to be. Quite a lot of that goes with the private business or public government worlds and it is urgent to know how to best deal with this predicament.
Do We Have a Common Purpose Here? Byr Bill Cottringer “Life is a promise; fulfill it.”~ Mother Theresa. I have been thinking about this question for a long time now during my life’s educational classes—my journey through formal schooling, interacting with a wide variety of people, working in several different careers, observing nature closely, learning from “teachers,” listening to different religions’ church sermons, reading many books, and watching lots of movies.
Why Some Religions Are Dying While Others Are Thriving Byr Bill Cottringer “Religion is to do right. It is to love, it is to serve, it is to think, it is to be humble.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson. If you want to know a real secret worth knowing about success, look at the religions today that are growing and thriving the most and then compare them to the ones that aren’t. The thrivers follow one success prescription and the dyers follow the opposite. Here is what the thriving religions do to succeed in the tough religious marketplace.
STAYING AHEAD OF THE PAPERWORK OVERLOAD Byr Bill Cottringer “Keeping up with the information overload is like trying to sip water from a fire hose.” rn~ Anonymous. So you think you are overloaded with paperwork at your job? My very first professional job was a counselor at a maximum security prison in Kentucky back in 1970.
The World’s Worst War: The Bullies vs. The Bullied byr Bill Cottringer “Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke.” `Benjamin Disraeli. The Problem: Today we are witnessing a major showdown between two failure extremes—the strong vs. the weak, or more in today’s terms, the bullies vs. the bullied. The bullying conflict is pervasive in every aspect of living. It is a destructive epidemic that cries for urgent attention and immediate cure. Just consider this spectrum of the conflict: • Weaker kids in school (or employees at work) getting picked on by stronger ones.r
HOW TO BE DEMOTED GRACEFULLY WHEN YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON By Bill Cottringe n One of the realities of today’s economic downtu is a hard one to swallow, at least with any honorable degree of courage, humility and gracefulness. This is the reality that you can still be a good person, and an ...
SHRINKING FROWNS AND EXPANDING SMILES Byr Bill Cottringer “A smile cures the wounding of a frown.” ~William Shakespeare. Here are ten practical ways to reduce your unhappy failures and boost your happy successes, curing your frowns with smiles: 1. Follow the reality principle.
Slowing Down to Understand the Real Purpose of Life Byr Bill Cottringer “The purpose of life is not to be happy, successful and have peace of mind; but rather to learn how to be happy doing the few things that will result in a sense of progress at having greater happiness, success and peace of mind.” ~The author.
REALITY REPAIR: TIME, SWEAT, TEARS & NO PROMISES OF SOMETHING FOR NOTHING Byr Bill Cottringer “You don't get something for nothing; You can't have freedom for free; You won't get wiser With the sleep still in your eyes No matter what your dreams might be.”rn~Neil Peart. Shame on us all!
A Better Relationship in a Weekr By Bill Cottringer No matter how good or bad your present relationship is it can always be better with minimal planning, effort, and cost. And in this economy that is a pretty good deal! Here is a very practical and easy way to have a better relationship in just one enjoyable week. Carry out the seven following suggestions Monday through Sunday next week and watch your relationship satisfaction thermometer rise above your expectations (Helpful hint: Holiday time is great for getting in the mood and having it stick around afterwards). Monday
“Success is what you get from using common sense; failure is what you get from using everything else.” ~The author. Success is built on a firm foundation of good old common sense (which unfortunately isn’t so common these days); failure follows the crumbling of a weak foundation built on the lack of common sense. Sometimes it takes seconds and sometimes years to spot the differences. Are you serious about building a strong foundation of common sense that will sustain long term success that lasts years?
Little Laws 4 BIG SUCCESS Byr Bill Cottringer “We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are.” ~Anais Nin. A long time ago an MIT Math professor friend introduced me to a very intriguing engineering term called perturbation point. These are the few key stress points in a building where small explosive devices can be strategically placed to cause a quick, easy and effective implosion of the whole building. At the time, I had no idea of how this little principle would open my eyes to much bigger ones.
HEROES, VILLAINS, VICTIMS & BYSTANDERSnby William Cottringe nnn In the game of life there are four main roles we can choose to play. These roles are Hero, Villain, Victim or Bystander. Which of these roles are you playing? HERO Heroes dream big, translate their dreams into ...
Resurrect Your Dreams Byr Bill Cottringer “Deep down, nobody is ever quite satisfied with the amount of their childhood dreams they have actually realized and we are all disappointed with the amount that slipped away.” ~The author.
The Common Misalignment Problem in Organizationsr By Bill Cottringer “Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” ~John F. Kennedy. Every “group” goes through a similar progression of four stages in its development and maturity: • Stage One: Members start out interacting with superficial “cocktail chitchat,” warming things up as an introduction of what is to come. • Stage Two: Then the conversations eventually switch to deeper subject matter conce s and issues, like the purpose of the group and how to proceed with that purpose and other related topics.
Top Ten Happiness Robbers Byr Bill Cottringer “You can never make another person happy, only unhappy. ~The author. Are you happy enough with your happiness bank account balance? Knowing that a happiness bank account balance can never be high enough, here are a few bank robbers you will want to avoid at all costs: 1. Beliefs. Wrong, irrational or selfish beliefs are perpetual robbers of the happiness bank. You often aren’t even aware of what “wrong” beliefs you have that may be withdrawing happiness from your account when you think they are making deposits.
Do You Know Who You Really Are? “Most of the things you think you know may not be so.” ~The author.
FIVE PILLARS OF HAPPINESS byr Bill Cottringer “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama. Happiness is the end game goal of living. Whatever it is you are doing, it is to secure happiness. In a paradoxical way, how you define happiness determines how much or how little of it you have. One of the easiest and best ways to define happiness is by identifying the things you can do to get the most of it. Here are five pillars the experts agree on: 1. Purpose.
The Best Way To Love Byr Bill Cottringer “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Growing Old Gracefully Byr Bill Cottringer “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” ~Mark Twain.
The Difficulties Of Selecting The Best Of The Bunch Byr Bill Cottringer “Never make predictions, especially about the future.” ~Casey Stengel. I won’t argue with Mr. Stengel’s wisdom when it comes to baseball; but in business, employers have way too much to lose without at least trying to be good predictors. And one of the areas that is too costly as a result of poor prediction by employers is the one of employee selection. The adverse effects of ineffective employee selection practices by an employer, can literally kill the bottom line.
Uncommon Sense for Work & Play Byr Bill Cottringer “Success and happiness are a result of using uncommon sense, while failure and unhappiness are the consequence of using everything else.” ~The author. Success and happiness in life are most often tied to your efforts in reaching a healthy balance between the two primary aspects of life—work and play. How is your balance in these two main areas of living?
The Problem That All Religion, Psychology and Spirituality Are Trying To Solve Byr Bill Cottringer “Should we all confess our sins to one another we would all laugh at one another for our lack of originality.” ~Kahlil Gabran. There is a very large “elephant metaphor” in life’s living room, that when not mentioned, it keeps us all from experiencing our full potential in learning, growing and improving into our best selves.
PUTTING THE POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY MOVEMENT IN PROPER PERSPECTIVE “Happiness is not a goal, but rather it’s a byproduct.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt. This quote by Eleanor Roosevelt puts a lot of things in proper perspective, especially the popular movements for change driven by the mass media marketing machine, such as positive psychology.
The True Master Of The Clock & Calendar Has Neither! Byr Bill Cottringer “Time is our most important resource which is equally distributed to all, but unequally used by most.”rn~The author. Wasted Time— Some on past memories, More on future hopes, Most on not being here, Now and in the present, Using our time wisely, Doing what matters most.
Are You A Worry Wort? Byr William Cottringer, Ph.D. “You know you are in big trouble when you start worrying about how much you are worrying.” ~ The Author.
Going From The “What To Do” To “How To Do It” Level Of Self Growth Byr Bill Cottringer “Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.” ~anonymous. The common purpose of life for us all seems to be to learn, grow and improve into our best selves. Why is this? It is because this road gets us all the things we want—wealth, health, influence, meaning, happiness, success, contentment, peace of heart and sense of accomplishment in making a difference.
The Best Way To Thrive Is To help Others Survive Byr Bill Cottringer “We do not live to think, but, on the contrary, we think in order that we may succeed in surviving.” ~Jose Ortega y Gasset. The best way to thrive is to help others survive…but first you have to master surviving yourself! In case you haven’t noticed, there is an ever widening gap between many of us who are just trying to survive and the few of us who are starting to thrive.
TERRIBLE CHOICES Byr Bill Cottringer “We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.” ~Kahlil Gibran. There are some terrible choices we seem to have to make through all ages. Consider the following very uncomfortable choices confronting us all at different times in our lives: • Youth: The choice of staying cool with the peer group and doing whatever that requires—even engaging in wrong or illegal behavior—and then suffering the dire consequences vs.
FIVE “HELPING” THINGS WE ALL WANT FOR OURSELVES AND NEED TO LEARN HOW TO GIVE TO OTHERS Byr Bill Cottringer “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.” ~Dr. Seuss I have been involved in the helping business on both ends of giving and receiving for nearly 5 decades now and here is my short list of what counts most in regards to truly effective helping. These five acts are the most important things we all want for ourselves and need to learn how to give others abundantly and effectively, to make a difference: 1.
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” ~Robert McCloskey. You can’t understand some things, You may think you can, But you really can’t, Especially the why questions, Other people’s motivations, And the purpose of things; There is a clever way though, In living the answers, And doing a few simple things— Growing some patience, Thinking a little differently, Relaxing your expectations, And extending your time frame; In the meantime, be more generousr With your love and com
Managing Life’s Five Great Illusions for Better Sports and Law Enforcement Performance. Byr Bill Cottringer As I have already mentioned in a previous article, performance in sports and law enforcement have a lot in common. For one thing, both require a healthy mixture of individuality and teamwork. And, they both require the best actions being based on the best immediate perception of situations based on past experience and future expectations. Moreover, they both require proper management of life’s 5 great illusions.
We are all Prisoners In The Vicious Circle Tit For Tat Bullying Tag Game By Dr. Bill Cottringer, in association with Storm Door Productions. “Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke.” ~Benjamin Disraeli. Bullies Bullies come in all shapes and sizes— Countries, religions, girls and men, Strong, weak, big or small, All doing the same thing though; Shouting and spreading their hurt, Suffering and pain, Beating others down, To pull themselves up; Not seeing their wrongs, Or admitting insecurity, Not being content in any way, Continuing the cycle of hurt,r