Dr. Jane Nelsen

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Why don’t children keep their agreements? Could it be that sometimes parents say, “This is what we are going to do? Do you agree?” When the question is asked in an authoritarian manner that doesn’t really leave room for argument, children often shrug in agreement, which really means, “Sure, I’ll agree to get you off my back, but I don’t really agree.” Involvement=cooperation. Children will usually keep their agreements when they have been respectfully involved

August 4, 2009

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A New Look At “Mis-Behavior”nby Dr. Jane Nelsen nnnOne of my favorite scenes from the movie Kramer Vs Kramer shows Billy shouting in anger at his Dad, “I hate you.” Dad picks him up and carries him to his room, throws him on his bed, and shouts back, “I hate you too, you little shit.”nDid this father and son really hate each other? Of course not. They loved each other very much. So what was going on? n Billy was feeling hurt because his father was busy working and

July 20, 2007

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Communicate with Kids about Drugsnan excerpt from the book, Positive Discipline for Parenting in Recovery, by Jane Nelsen, Riki Intner, and Jane NelsennnRecovering parents know first hand the realities and dangers of using drugs and alcohol. The last thing they want is for their kids to go through the living hell that they went through. They want to break the cycle of addiction.nThe pressure of that responsibility and the fear that your kids are at a high risk could motivate

July 20, 2007

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The Jones family was very excited. They had just finished planning a day at the beach. Seven-year-old Jason and five-year-old Jenny had promised they wouldn’t fight. Mr. Jones, warned, “If you do, we’ll turn around and come back.” “We won’t, we won’t,” promised Jason and Jenny again.nThe Jones family hadn’t gone two miles when a loud wail was heard from the back seat, “Jason hit me.” nMrs. Jones said, “What did we tell you kids about fighting?”nJason

June 12, 2007