Hal Runkel, LMFT
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Article
Responsible Parenting
People tend to fall into two camps when it comes to relationships. Those who care too much about what others think and those who say they don't....but still do.nnThe truth is, we all care deeply about people's responses to us. And we should. If a person truly didn't care what type of response their actions created, then they wouldn't be a cool cat worth admiring, they'd be a sociopath worth fearing. The trick is to find some sort of balance. It's not easy, but it is possible.
January 18, 2008
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Resolution Revolution
As a kid, I always loved New Year’s Day. There seemed to be a freshness in the air that I couldn’t quite get enough of. Maybe it was the fact that so many folks tried to quit smoking that the air quality actually improved…who knows. What I do know is that ever since an early age, I loved the thought of starting over. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it, I’d love to find some of those old resolutions I made. What could an eight year old possib
January 4, 2008
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Projection Rejection
At one point in her life, my daughter used to be afraid of the phone. She would do just about anything to avoid having to use it. When it would ring and I would ask her to get it, she literally ran the receiver to me, and my daughter hates to run. nnSo I would worry about her. I talked to her about it and, of course, she started avoiding it even more. I watched one day as she painfully returned a call to a friend (after much prodding) and I cringed as I started thinking about
December 11, 2007
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Holiday Survival Guide, Part II
Now that you have read Part I and you've sucessfully regained your calm, you can put the following structures in place to create the kind of holiday youâll be happy to remember.nn1. Slow Down nnWe learned this one from our daughter Hannah when she was about 6 years old. On that Christmas morning, everyone started tearing into their presents. There were at least 15 people there and it was complete pandemonium. As I scanned the room with the video camera, I caught sight of my
November 28, 2007
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Holiday Survival Guide, Part I
When Andy Williams sang the lyric, âItâs the most wonderful time of the yearâ, he must have been joking. What with presents to buy, parties to attend, and cheer to spread, we often find ourselves wondering what the heck is so happy about the holidays. If that describes you at all, itâs time for a little ScreamFree in your life. Here are three principles to guide you through the holidays with your sanity in tact.nn1. Our kids are going to reflect our own attitudes and
November 28, 2007
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Busted By The Book
One of my friends read my recent article on schoolwork and told me a great little story which I just have to share. In a brief encounter with her daughter, she quickly found out that, as the German proverb states, âHe who teaches children learns more than they do.ânnI'll do my best to recount it to you with the same humility and humor that she brought to me...nnThe other evening, my daughter Emily was at the table, doing some homework. It was the end of a really long day
November 14, 2007
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Moving Day
I am convinced that moving is one of the most miserable experiences in life. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. It's been several years since we last uprooted, and I had forgotten how horribly stressful it is. Apparently, I had a bad case of moving amnesia because I agreed to this heinous act recently. What's worse is that we scheduled it to occur during the last week of school. You know, life really isn't complicated enough that week with all of the class parties, we
July 10, 2007
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Out of Control
Well, I hope your Fatherâs Day was as enjoyable as mine. Even though I preach that every day is Fatherâs Day (and Motherâs Day), I thoroughly enjoyed being spoiled by my family. I sat in my recliner and watched the US Open all day long. Watching sports of any kind has always been one of my favorite pastimes. It is the only true reality show there is, where no one is sure of the outcome until the contest is over. Even though last weekâs NBA finals wasnât much of a na
June 28, 2007
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Its Report Card Time
I went to a conference a few months ago and had the chance to swap stories with my fellow teachers of English. I found it fascinating that regardless of the location and financial status of the school in question, many similarities abound when it comes to our experiences. nnn>Most of us really love the literature and the students we teach. nn>Most of us really do find ourselves checking for errors on any scrap of paper that comes our way, despite our best efforts to be normal
June 6, 2007
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The Truth About Consequences
As parents, we have within our reach the greatest and most effective disciplinary strategy in the world. No, itâs not military school or âBrat Campâ. The single greatest teaching and discipline strategy is a phenomenon woven into the fabric of life itself. nnSimply put, here it is: our choices have consequences. Every single one of them. nnThere is a law of sowing and reaping that, when we think about it, has taught us more than any lecture, textbook, or sermon. Wheneve
May 31, 2007
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Silly Love Songs
Despite my love for Paul McCartneyâs post-Beatles work with Wings, I have to agree with John Lennon on this one: the world is full of silly love songs. Romantic love is the most overplayed sentiment in music, especially when it tries way too hard to be sentimental. In fact, thatâs my definition of the popular slang word âcheesy.â My kids hear me use that term all the time and last year they finally asked me for a definition. After much thought (itâs actually quite d
May 31, 2007