Steve Hauptman
LCSW
Control Addiction (aka Codependency) Expert

Steve Hauptman Quick Facts
I'm a clinical social worker and Gestalt therapist who began my professional life as an alcoholism counselor, which taught me to see addiction as an attempt to get control over feelings. Later I came to realize that all human beings are pretty much hardwired to be control addicts, and that this addiction to control causes most of the problems they bring into therapy -- anxiety, depression, communication problems, parenting problems and lousy relationships. So for almost twenty years I've been studying control, helping clients and readers to better understand it, and teaching them healthy alte atives. That's the focus of my blog Monkeytraps, and the subject of the book I'm writing, tentatively titled The Illusion of Control.
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Article
About psychological curses
As they appear in therapy, psychological curses are false beliefs absorbed in childhood by a kid too innocent to know better.
September 2, 2026
Article
Seven Kinds of Power
If you love an addict, or live with one, or depend on one in some way, you are probably in, as the old saying goes, nine kinds of pain. And I’m guessing that, whether or not you realize it, the very worst of these pains comes from being confused about the difference between power and control. No, they’re not the same. In some ways, they are opposites. One difference is: power is possible, but control is usually an illusion. Another is: seeking power can set you free, while seeking control can make you crazy. Let me explain.
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