Husband Is Mean To Me All The Time: Husband Scolds Me Like A Child
First of all, "my husband hates me" is what a lot of women feel, but often times they misinterpret what their husband has told them during a fight or when they were angry. Relax, calm down. Your husband has married you for a reason and he's not going to hate you. Often times, when you say "my husband said he hates me!", it's after some sort of fight or heated argument, it doesn't convey the truth.
However, when such fights are very frequent, and day after day you say to yourself, "i think my husband hates me"; your marriage can be in serious trouble. Unfortunately, us women react very strongly and emotionally when we think that our marriage might be heading for a divorce. We feel a strong urge to act, to "do something right now" before our marriage is taken from us. This desperation often times makes us do the wrong things.
When driven wild with desperation, your emotions overwhelm your mind and make you go and beg your husband for forgiveness - because you want to save your marriage and begging is the only thing your desperate mind can think of. I know this perfectly because I have lived this. Unfortunately, such desperate attempts always do more harm than good. What you should not forget is that your husband is probably fed up with things. When you apply more pressure on him, it will only make matters worse.
What has to be done first, is to learn to stay calm and relaxed even if you think "my husband hates me!". I too thought my marriage was ending (and it was indeed ending), and I made no progress until I was taught to calm down. Calming down prevents your emotions from overtaking you and prevents you from doing things like begging your husband.
When you have calmed down, you will be able to look at matters from a wider perspective, without any knee-jerk reactions involved. Moreover, it will mean that your husband will finally have some alone time, free from your pressure; and it will definitely make him reconsider things. Do not forget that going wild and saying "My husband hates me! I have to do something at once before it's all gone forever!" will never help you.
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Saving your marriage may sound a bit harsh, but if you're not making the time to connect your making time to disconnect. Growing apart seems to be the enemy that sneaks in over time that is ignored in the beginning of a relationship.
Just imagine lying in bed laughing about the naughty text messages or sexy lunch date you had together earlier in the week. Wouldn't it be great to have your friend's envy the way you and your spouse get along with work and children keeping you busy?
You will be the couple that helps others do the same or you can be wondering if your marriage can be saved like many others that are absent from their relationship.
I already know that you're too intelligent to think that there is a quick fix all to a marriage with no time to spare. I'm certain that you realize that making time to fix your relationship is a decision you both have to make. Understanding this is what will make saving your marriage from future pain possible.
If you are already spending too much time apart you may be experiencing some of the adverse affects of a bad relationship which are:
* Miscommunication
* Disconnect from spouse
* Avoidance
* Heated arguments
* Angry /Distant Children
Rather we accept it or not spending time together helps us to bond and reconnect with feeling we had in the beginning of our relationship. We need to talk and touch to confirm in our hearts and mind that we are loved and not just existing.
Growing your relationship and raising your family with the joy and the trials involved is the bonus when you're on the same page as partners. Laughing and sharing the stories and experiences in your senior years should be the icing on the cake.
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?
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I'm sure as you read on you will realize that starting to work on your marriage is something you should never take for granite. Work, bills and crying children are just shared experiences along with the hugs, kisses, graduations and vacations. Having all of these wonderful experiences with the one you love is priceless!
Benefits To Making Time For Your Spouse
* Better Sex
* Closer Relationship
* Emotionally Healthy Children/Spouse
* Excellent Communication
* Less Stress
* Peace of Mind
* Confidence
In a marriage everyone is connected and affected. Just think about the relationship you want to have with your family 5 years from now. Can you see that happening with the effort you are putting into your family now? Below are some suggestions to help your creative juices flow. I know how easy it is to just want to go on like you have but you have to make the effort to change if you expect to fix your marriage.
Creative Tips To Spend More Time With Your Spouse
Spending more time with your spouse is just making a conscious effort to connect. You make calls to family members, hang with friends or set up lunch dates with associate. Making time with your spouse should be a higher priority because a good marriage depends on it. Not to mention the family is worth it.
* Make regular date nights and never cancel except extreme emergencies. Make a decision to treat this night like a precious baby that must be fed and nurtured. Never talk about home issues on this night! Your date can be a slow walk holding hands, meeting at a romantic hotel, couples card game, reading a book, or a home movie. It's up to you!
* Set a special time to talk about important issues, family concerns, and solutions. Decide together if a once a week appointment is sufficient.
* Write a love letter to each other that expresses why you are proud or happy to be in a marriage together. You will be surprised how a person can feel if they don't know where they stand in a relationship. Some people need only a hug and others need the words. Which one are you? You shouldn't have to wait until Valentine's Day for this.
* Make daily phone call to check on the day's events and always make a call if you're going to be late or forgot to run a errand.
If you have children, trust me they need time away from you as well! Not only have they got a healthy idea what a happy marriage looks like, they will expect it for themselves later on in life. You are the role models for your children they will do what you do!
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There are many reasons why you feel the need to work to save your marriage. It could be an extra-marital affair that you or your husband have had, or letting emotions build up to the point where you feel you cannot function without things falling back into place. Whatever the reason may be, if you want to save your marriage, then you must be willing to take major steps into changing the way you perceive and approach your relationship, because you are only in complete control of what you think and how you do things.
Correcting your attitude and your demeanor towards your husband will encourage him to be more responsive, honest and plain fun with you again.
Here are 3 very basic yet essential ways to get you started on the road to save your relationship.
1) Be spontaneous. It is easier to understand how important it is to be a spontaneous wife when you think of your husband as a boy and not a man. Every husband is a boy at heart, they love springing up to a plan. Surprise your husband by making plans for yourselves for things that he would love to do on any given day. It could be going for a test drive in his dream car from the dealers, to taking an energetic walk after dinner. When you show him you are up and ready for adventure, he will realize that you are willing to step out of your comfort zone to work towards pleasing him.
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2) Get physical. In all honesty, getting physical does not necessarily entail sexual relations with your husband. It means that you rely on physical touch to let him know that he is on your mind and that you value his presence in your life. It could be the squeeze of a hand, a hug, a rub on the back or a kiss when he goes to, and comes home from work. Although women are known to respond more eagerly to physical touch, men appreciate the effort a woman puts in to let him know he's loved.
3) Put him first. Make your husband your first priority and let him be the first one to hear it every day. Let him know he is your first and foremost preference. The best ways to do this is sharing things with him first, before calling your mother or your best friend about things that concern you. Another way is to praise him to your friends, your family, and most importantly his family whenever you get together. Words of affirmation such as openly admitting how much he means to you is going to raise his self-esteem and make him want to treat you in such a way that you keep admiring him for it.
If you truly want to save your marriage, the first thing you must perfect is your own attitude and approach towards your relationship. You can completely transform an unhappy relationship by changing the way you look at it, and in turn encouraging your spouse to do the same just by watching you.
Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.
If your mind is currently dominated by the thought "I want my husband back", I feel for you. I was in this situation a few months ago, and it was very hard for me to pinpoint what I did wrong. All I know is that I wanted my husband back emotionally, and that I would do anything to figure out what I did wrong.
I learned that the key idea that was both my problem and solution is communication. I had no idea that there are 4 distinct communication styles, let alone which ones I should and shouldn't be using. If you want your husband back and you didn't know about this either, well then this article is for you.
The 4 communication styles are as follows: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.
Out of the 4 styles, assertive is definitely the best to use. Your husband will always know where you stand when you're assertive, unlike when you're passive. He'll give you respect because you can calmly and firmly tell him where you stand when you're assertive, unlike when you're aggressive. And he'll never be confused when you're assertive, unlike when you're passive-aggressive.
What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.
Basically, when you're passive, you say what you really want. When you're aggressive, you are likely to yell or at least have a threatening tone. And when you're passive-aggressive, you're always saying one thing but meaning another, which is never a good thing. When you're assertive, you are standing up for yourself, but in a respectful way.
So if you really want your husband back, you'll need to be assertive, to clearly tell him what you want. Here's an example:
Your husband has his usual weekend routine--work on his projects in the shed in the morning, watch sports in the afternoon, go out for beer with his friends at night. In the past, you've tried to get him to do anything to shake up his routine and spend some time with you, nagging him and bugging him about doing something with you for once. But he won't budge, and he responds like he doesn't care.
This is where you usually respond by either yelling, or withdrawing. Either way, he needs to know how you really feel. So the next time, you're going to calmly say: "I'm disappointed. I really have wanted to do something with you over the weekend for a while. Could you make time for us to go out for a nice dinner and movie this Saturday?"
And you keep it as simple as that. He will be likely to want to compromise, and he might be surprised that you asked in such a direct and calm way.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
How To Change A Selfish Husband
My Husband Wants Me To Leave Him Alone
My Marriage Feels Like Roommates
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
How To Change A Selfish Husband
My Husband Wants Me To Leave Him Alone
My Marriage Feels Like Roommates
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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.
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