My Marriage Feels Like Roommates: When Your Husband Feels Like A Roommate - Change This Now!

All your husband wants to do is sit and watch tv, play video games, or spend endless hours on the computer. It feels like the two of you, who were once happy and very much in love, have turned into roommates. When you find yourself saying "I feel like my husband doesn't love me anymore", please know that you are not alone in feeling this way. I often find myself feeling this way, but I have learned a few things along the road that have helped me save my marriage. I hope they will help you, too.

Men tend to hide their emotions when they are stressed.

Understanding this is very important. This is one I could never grasp. When I am upset about something, I want to talk about it. The more I talk, the better I feel. My husband, on the other hand, won't talk. He just gets more involved in the video games or computer. It feels like he is shutting everything out, including me.

I don't know how it happened, but one day I tried to talk to him (AGAIN) and he actually talked to me! He said it's not that he doesn't love me - he does, very much. It's just that he is so stressed out at work, and he doesn't want to bring that stress into the home. He told me that he knows how hard I work, and am stressed myself, and he didn't want to add to it. Video games and the computer are his way to relax. They are also addictive, and that's why it seemed to me that he would rather be with his 'friends' online than with me.

It's actually a 'guy thing' - the more men I talk to about this, the more they agree. In no way am I saying it's the right thing for them to do, I am only saying that it IS what they do.

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Women want emotional contact, and men want physical contact.

Again, only after talking to as many men as I could about this, did I really understand it. As a woman, mother, and wife, all I want to make me happy is to be recognized. For someone to think that if I were to quit doing my 'wifely' duties, the whole house would literally fall apart! Many times I have felt like nothing but a robot - cook, clean, laundry, taking care of the kids, etc. It really wears on you when no one even says 'thank you'.

Men, on the other hand, need physical contact. They think that if they don't have sex with their wife, then their wife doesn't love them. Just like we feel loved when we are told we are loved, or appreciated, men feel that they are loved when their wife makes love to them. My husband has told me many times, "Why don't you ever initiate sex - why do I always have to do it?" When I told him that it was because it felt like a chore, he looked at me, completely stunned.

He never knew how I felt, but I never knew how he felt. A simple hug or kiss out of the blue would've made him happy. When I went and bought neglige, he was the happiest man in the world. From his perspective, that meant more than anything. It meant that, yes, I do love him, and want and need him.

When I realized this is what men thought, it changed a lot in our marriage. It doesn't take much to give your husband a peck on the cheek, or touch his arm when you pass him. BUT... try it. It will work wonders. He will reciprocate by telling you things you probably thought you'd never hear again - things like, 'thank you, dinner was great', or 'the house looks nice'.

When you think to yourself 'I feel like my husband doesn't love me anymore', think of these things. And try them. What may seem like nothing to you may be the very thing that will open his eyes, and may even save your marriage!

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Divorce is not pleasant, especially when you want your marriage to work. If you feel that the steps you take for your relationship are not helping you and instead is causing the distance between you and your spouse to increase, then it is time you take a deep breath and analyze your actions and progress until now.

You can save your marriage by following some steps with consistency and the intent to focus on only the positive results that you get. Here are 3 steps to get you started.

1) Tune in to each other. As a relationship coach, countless women who have made assumptions about their relationships without even asking their husbands what they think approach me with their problems. The best way to remove a misunderstanding is to address it with the person directly concerned. Tune into your spouse, his idea of commitment, love, loyalty and devotion may differ from you and still be a valuable asset for your marriage. You can only begin to feel understood when you take on the task of opening your mind and heart towards understanding those around you.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

2) Learn from the best, not the worst. You may be surrounded by poor examples of marriage, or even mediocre ones, thinking that if they remained steadfast through so many turbulent times, you will too. The fact is that you do not have to go through the same turmoil of poorly managed relationships just because those whom you love experienced them. Separate your marriage and relationship goals from those around you, and pick on an ideal marriage or spouse to take tips from. When you aim higher you will achieve better results.

3) Decide what works for you. If you are at a point where you feel that your marriage needs a drastic makeover, then you are already aware of all that does not work for you and your relationship. The biggest mistake you can make in life is to expect different results from making the same mistakes repeatedly. Make a list of the mistakes you have made in the past, and the results you achieved from them.

Also make a list of disappointments in your marriage and work your way backwards to the point where you contributed in that particular situation. In both ways, you will be able to take note of what you did wrong, and what you must do differently from now on.

You can save your marriage, and you can start right now by taking these steps on your own. You are only in complete control of your attitude and actions, so the best way to get your ideal relationship is to readjust your personal lens.

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It's easy to make yourself the victim in a relationship. When it comes to arguments, we routinely go on the defense. We can get into this 'poor me' state of mind when things don't go our way. But, as opposed to doing that, it is essential that you focus on finding a solution to your problems.

Marjorie Templeton has been married for 10 years - she shares what she knows about making yourself the victim. "Before we went to a therapist, I was an individual who continued making herself the victim. I admit that I was the queen of self-pity. I ultimately learned where I went absolutely wrong. Today, my spouse and I are happier and although there are some bumps along the way, but we work on it together."

It's so easy with every people to think that they are the victim of every problems, but you must think that this can affect you in a lot of ways. It may be as common as feeling remorseful for yourself. You may also feel like you are weak and no one is there to help you. Instead of working to search for the solutions, you will be focusing on your negative feelings instead. It can cause other serious problems like divorce, if you are not careful in thinking.

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Don't let yourself be the victim because the problem you are in is of your own making. The decision to either get out or stay is completely yours. Do not think that you cannot find any solutions for this. It won't bring you any closer to getting a good answer to your problems. For example, your tribulations is that you have a less than happy marriage, you must focus on spicing things up as opposed to going into your self-pity mode.

It is very essential to discover ways to be assertive. Know what you want to stay with this relationship and be assertive with it. If you and you other half have different goals, you can work together to make sure you get something that works for both of you. You need to work on your problems once you see indications of something wrong. You should never let it get to that point where you have unhappy marriage.

There is an exception to every rule. But if your spouse physically hurts you, then you can allow yourself to be the victim. But, always keep in mind that you are not helpless. You have what it takes to alter the situation you are in. You could make things much better for yourself. Take the steps towards finding a solution and let yourself live in a happy life.

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You have made a commitment to another person to have and to hold for better or for worse, but the worse is feeling excruciating, and you are finding yourself looking for an exit. Before you bolt for the door, and sever all ties with your spouse, you should know there are things you can do to prevent this. "Repair my marriage?" you say? Yes, if you really love your spouse you, can recapture what you had and repair the rift that has formed between the two of you. You just have to remember to talk, and to make time for each other.

Miscommunication, or lack of communication is the downfall for many relationships. If there is something bothering about the relationship you have with your spouse, instead of sitting on it, hoping it will go away, say something and get it out in the open. Things left unsaid, cause resentment and anger, so if there is an issue in your marriage it is best just to talk about it. You might find by getting things out in the open, you get questions and concerns addressed quickly and easily without added drama. If the issue with your marriage is serious, you may want to look into counseling, as way of working through your issues with your spouse.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Lack of intimacy, is also a factor when people separate of divorce. Everybody has a busy life, but if you have committed you life to that of another, then it is very important to spend time with your spouse. This sometimes means taking time away from work, the kids, or your hobbies to spend with your partner. This is important when it comes to getting intimacy and the romance back in your relationship. If you set aside time for the two of you at least once a week, to talk through your issues, and to just spend time together as a couple, you will notice that your relationship with your spouse will start to improve.

When you ask, "How do I repair my marriage?", there is not an easy answer. The only thing you can really do is, work on it. Make an effort to talk, and spend time with your husband or wife. Listen to what your partner has to say, and take an interest in their life when they are away from you, and really work at resolving the issues that arise in your marriage before it is too late to repair them. If you catch them early you can avoid a nasty separation or divorce, but you have to be willing to put in the time and effort to do so.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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