A theater veteran named Noel Coward coined the phrase “The Show Must Go On” back in the 50s; but I gave it new meaning in the 90s as it summed up my life better than any other cliché. I was the president of a very successful communications company providing executive coaching and training. I was also suffering from medication-resistant clinical depression that landed me in the hospital to undergo electroconvulsive (shock) therapy. Running a business is challenging enough to begin with. Running a business during bouts of severe depression can seem impossible! But take it from me, it can be done.
Each time I speak to an audience about “living in recovery,” they are astonished to learn that the cheerful, successful, well-put-together woman standing before them was in a psychotic state twenty years earlier, and that between depressive episodes I went back to school, completed my master’s degree and opened my own training company. If you are an entrepreneur who is struggling with depression, know that you are not alone and that recovery is not just possible, it is probable; and consider the following tips:
Keep the show on the road
I encourage entrepreneurs to maintain their business during the storm, rather than closing up shop, because as difficult as it can seem in trying to wear the entrepreneurial hat during a severe episode, I believe taking that hat off may actually add to the depression, similar to the idea that “idle hands are the devils playground”. The trick is deciding what to do when the going gets toughest.
Like many entrepreneurs, I was blessed with managing my own calendar; therefore I was able to spread out my obligations and make healthy life style changes that kept me in wellness for longer periods of time. In other words, I scheduled down time, gym time, working alone time, working with client time, marketing time, etc., and as a business owner, I had no one to answer to but myself.
Ask and it shall be given
Company leaders often refrain from asking for help afraid that they will appear weak or unorganized. During depressive episodes, it can seem even more difficult to ask for help as severe depression fools us into thinking we are misfits that no one can tolerate being around us. And by alienating ourselves we actually fuel the depression. Ask people for their help with personal and professional matters. When I needed hospitalization, I relied on my colleagues to service my clients and even write requested proposals. They were not only willing to help, my asking made them feel loved and valued, creating a win/win situation for all involved.
Stop trying to save face
Many business owners struggle with the nastiest of the depressive symptoms – fear of what others will think. “What if my clients find out? What will my staff think of me? What will this do to my reputation?” I was so caught up in trying to save face that for a long time, I actually refused the only treatment that could help (ECT) until it was almost too late. Now I know better. By my fourth episode, I was willing to be more open with long-term clients about my illness. I don’t believe I ever lost a client based on my diagnosis; as a matter of fact, I believe I earned more respect by being candid. In some cases, clients were so thankful for my willingness to be frank about my illness, because they learned about depression and ECT through me and some were even able to finally open up about their own depression or that of a loved one.
It has been over 11 years since my last bout of depression, and I still enjoy running my communications company. My illness was a blessing in disguise, though, as I am now a passionate consumer advocate, author and speaker instilling hope in fellow entrepreneurs with the following message: Depression doesn’t have to end the business.
Carol A. Kivler of Lawrence, NJ, is the founder of Courageous Recovery, a division of Kivler Communications designed to raise awareness to remove the stigma of mental illness and to instill hope in those who live with it. Through Courageous Recovery, Kivler’s goal is to change the way society and the medical profession views people living with mental illness. Her mission is to have society and medical professionals view individuals living with mental illness as courageous survivors who want to be accepted, not rejected; respected, not pitied; and admired, not feared. Carol considers herself a courageous survivor expert.
First diagnosed with mental illness in 1990, Kivler has suffered from four bouts of medication-resistant depression. Presently, Carol has been living in recovery for the last 11 years. She is a highly respected professional speaker (CSP), author, communications consultant, corporate trainer (CMT), owner of Kivler Communications and passionate consumer advocate. Carol has an M.S. in Human Resource Education.
Please visit www.courageousrecovery.com for additional information.