Ending the Victim Advantage (Part II)

The Lost Secret of Masculine and Feminine Roles

In Part I, I shared with you the ancient masculine/feminine secret. The victimhood advantage allowed power-hungry authority figures to take all the power but none of the blame. We learned to blame the feminine through the perpetuation of stories like Adam and Eve. We learned to feel sorry for the Adams of the world while holding the Eves responsible. Adam didn’t accept responsibility for his actions when questioned; he just blamed Eve. Adam was claiming victimhood advantage when he was not a victim. He chose to eat the apple and follow Eve; Eve didn’t hold a gun to his head. But no one challenges the common meaning of the story because we are programmed to hear it in the way that authority figures benefit.

While the initiated people of the ancient world clearly understood that the masculine role (Adams) had the responsibility; the masses of people were convinced that they were to blame (the Eves).

Today this problem perpetuates. World leaders act like they are victims of their people. Teachers claim that they are victims of their students, and parents blame children instead of themselves.

 

Forgiving and Forgetting

There is another way of playing victimhood advantage. If someone in a feminine role is stuck in a place of real victimhood, they need help getting out. But once a victim has been set free, they must forgive and forget. Practically speaking, forgiveness means to get rid of the beliefs that got them into the situation in the first place.

People who don’t forgive often try to play the victimhood advantage. Years or even generations later, they still want sympathy or special treatment for an old wound. Victimhood advantage can be a powerful addiction. If well played, it often moves a person or group out of the feminine role and into the masculine role.

When someone tells the same story over and over and refuses help, they are playing victimhood advantage. A legitimate victim wants help. They tell their story until someone helps them. They tell their story to get answers. But when they get free, they move on to greener pastures.

 

Our Payoffs Imprison Us

Years ago, I was a practicing hypnotherapist. A colleague asked me to do some sessions with a few of her MS patients. I regressed each person to the moment of diagnosis and gently suggested that they had a choice to accept the diagnosis, or they could deny it and look deeper for the beliefs that caused their symptoms. In several cases, they chose to keep the diagnosis because they were receiving a payoff that they didn't want to lose. They knew that mentally challenging that diagnosis would start the healing process in their bodies; and they saw healing as losing something of value.

Payoffs keeps people stuck in problems. As long as we continue to reward another's victimhood advantage through enabling them, we don't push people to do their inner work. We don't support them in getting well or standing up for themselves or just being someone who we'd enjoy talking to.

 

Bulling Kids

Let me also say a quick word on kids and bullying. Kids are not born bullies, and kids are always in the feminine role. They learn to bully by watching their parents and the false authorities in the schools and government. They clone the behavior that has been used on them. They hear their parent's acting out of false superiority based on race, religion, or culture; and they parrot their words. Usually they have picked up the mentality that if everyone were like them, the world would be a better place. They think it is legitimate to punish someone who is different. We must remember that they had to learn to think that way.

If we are in a position to resolve a bullying situation, we must find out where the child in the bully role learned their supremacy thinking; and then we fix the cause, which is always an authority figure in their life. Children only reflect a bigger bully; they are never the cause.

It does no good to punish the effect. The child is doing unto others what was done to them. It is that simple. The ancient masters were very clear, to try and fix a problem by fixing the feminine, or the effect, is a waste of time; it is just plain stupid.

If our child is constantly being bullied, it is because the child has been taught to accept what others say as true. Often bullied children want so badly to be good; they are often blindly obedient. We must teach them how to discriminate between true and false. We must help them to realize that what the bully says is not true. Bullies have a knack for finding the places that we feel most insecure; they find our beliefs with ease. And if we remove the wound, we render the bully powerless. But if we allow the child to claim victimhood advantage, we are handicapping them for life.

 

How to Heal the Feminine Victim

The true leader sees his or her reflection in the feminine people who are in his or her care. If he or she sees evil or bad, the true leader or authority doesn't break the mirror. They fix themselves. The false leader or authority uses their power to break the mirror.

Sadly, a child (or other in a feminine role) who has been bullied often thinks they need fixing. They try and try to change, and nothing changes. The person in the feminine role is the effect, not the cause. The one in the feminine role under a false authority must recognize when they are simply behaving as another person’s reflection. Often people who do bad things are just reflecting someone who has a very good mask and is addicted to the victimhood advantage.

We can support legitimate victims best by encouraging them to take back their power or remove them from the feminine role. We can remind them that their payoff is nothing compared to the real prize of freedom and living their best life. We must never feel guilty for supporting others in this way. We must never feel that we need to enable their baggage.

 

True Power

Our true power begins the moment we realize that we can't be a victim if we don't play other people’s games. When we all stop playing the good and evil game (or any of its clones), there will be no more victimhood. That is the world I want to live in. To get there, some people will have to give up their victimhood advantage. Others will have to learn to bare the discomfort of telling the truth that no one wants to hear.

There are times when we all fall into victimhood especially as children because we are born innocent. Good and evil doesn't make sense to a child because it is an illusion. Victimhood can become a story that bores our friends and family, or it can be a reason to turn inward, a reason to go into our cocoon and dissolve our past, find our true self, and be reborn as a beautiful butterfly.
 

If we go inside and really look at why we are stuck in victimhood, we often find that the experience is exactly what we needed. The caterpillar doesn't feel victimized when it goes inward, and that is what allows it to be transformed into a beautiful butterfly.

 
The victim advantage is not really an advantage. It is a small reward for playing a stupid ancient game, a game that really needs to end because the victimhood advantage is lose-lose for everyone. It causes the win-lose and good-evil way of perceiving the world, the illusion, to continue. There is no room for paradise in the illusion. But more important, the victim advantage causes those who use it to lose out on the permanent and lasting rewards of living an authentic life, making dreams come true, and contributing to a better world.