When dating, especially if you have ever had a history of being narcissistically abused, it is very important to be aware of narcissistic tendencies.
Beware of anyone who ‘love bombs’. ‘Love bombers’ have the narcissistic tendencies of expressing copious amounts of compliments, attention and using excessive bonding techniques on a new potential love partner.
Narcissistic individuals need narcissistic supply frenetically if low on sources, or if discarding former sources, and needto secure new narcissistic supplyas soon possible. It is also very common for narcissistic individuals to quickly enmesh with a new love partner as the motive of inflicting revenge and payback on a former one.
When you are being ‘love bombed’ the narcissistic personality narcissist will want to know all there is to know about you. This may seem flattering and as if it is ‘genuine interest’. The narcissistic individual is simply finding out all there is to know as valuable information as to how to hook you, mine from you, and further down the track - when the evitable devalue and discard occurs after the initial idealisation - maim you.
The narcissistic personality will discover what you like, how to appeal to you, what flattery will work and how to win your confidence very quickly. The narcissistictendency is to present as your ‘soul mate’ to tell you why he or she feels so connected to you, and why you are so ‘special’and so ‘different’ to all the others. The narcissistic individual knows these tactics work brilliantly – and will make you believe that finally life has provided you with the perfect partner – the one you have always been waiting for.
Once a narcissist enmeshes with you – you will receive lots of attention. This means long poetic text messages, cards and other gifts. Thenarcissistic individual feels ‘high’ on his or her newly acquired source of narcissistic supply and may initially idealise you to ridiculous extremes.
It is incredibly important to understandthat healthyadults do not date and enmesh quickly the way narcissistic individuals do. Healthy adults take them time to ascertain potential partners, knowing that love relationships are importantdecisions which affect people’s lives and hearts. Love addicts, co-dependents and narcissists treat relationships as idealised and immature versions of love.
Other tell-tales signs of narcissistic individuals include grandiose behaviour and claims about achievements and abilities, needing to be the centre of attention, statements of ‘having the best’, always having done something better, and not being humble about his or her life. Also look out for not wanting to allow you time apart from the relationship to continue your friendships and interests, and the talking about joint plans for the future way too quickly.
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