Abuse and Recovery Articles

Many people often wonder what alcohol abuse is and what the signs of alcohol abuse are? While most people will find that they do drink a single drink every night, they will assume that this doesn't constitute abuse in any form. The truth of the matter is that there are different levels when it comes to abusing alcohol and you need to keep that in mind when you are determining if you should be concerned about it. When it comes to categorizing drinking, there are four so-called

(Written August 8, 1990) It was June of 1969. I had just come home from my freshman year at Texas Tech. I had not declared a major except for General Studies. I liked my psychology and sociology courses, and thought about going that direction for a major.

What is the essence of addiction from a scientific standpoint? What facts support the foundation that supposes that an “addict” has no control and that free will has nothing to do with their ability to stop? What indicates that without help, they have little or no hope of recovering, from ...

It's usually much easier to get into an abusive relationship than to get out of it. Everything from fear of retaliation to feeling helpless can make it difficult for a victim of abuse to sever ties with the abuser. Things like unemployment, underemployment, codependency, and not wanting the children to suffer (though they probably already are!) can also make it extremely hard for the victim to simply walk away. And in dire cases, the pernicious prospect of being publicly humi

State officials take down a respected health care facility because they were too successful.nnDespite the recent atrocities in New York that caused the removal of a now former Governor, Eliot Spitzer, what most people are unaware of is that the corruption doesn't stop there. The State of New York has been trying to lower its Medicaid spending for a while. The Medicaid system provides a health care benefit to the indigent population, funded in part by the State. However, behin

I am in my therapist’s office, after finding out about my daughter’s sexual abuse, and I am slowly recalling the morning after the first time I was sexually violated by my stepfather…..nnI saw myself as a young child, sewing a cloak of many new colors, a cloak of artificial self-esteem and confidence. This new cloak would carry me through most of my adult life. This cloak was a shield protecting me from who I became overnight:nnUnworthy, unloved, invisible, ugly, and us

Written December 30, 1988 At Thanksgiving of 1988 I returned to Fort Worth, a place of many of my roots - my family, early friends, beginnings. I had lived there for about a year and a half in 1967 and 1968. My family had moved back to the town where my parents had grown up, and where many of my relatives still lived.

NOBODY LOVES ME - I’m going to eat worms & die! Part 1: Essence, Source - Past & Present PURPOSE for S-H - TO: • protect our ideal of having good, loving, safe parents • protect us from feeling our old abandonment pain • keep from risking change (fear we’ll die if we S & I) • keep us attached to the family (stave off deep loneliness) • prevent us from dealing with ‘ugly emotions’ like our rage, envy, longing, hopelessness... • protects us from Growing up, taking care of ourselves (we want to be taken care of! no matter what the cost is) â¼ WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GIVE UP S-H?r

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse , drug abuse rates declined by almost eight percent from 2002 to 2013. However, there is still a large treatment gap, which results in over 20 million Americans failing to receive needed substance abuse help. Below introduces four excellent resources for breaking a substance addiction. Group Help There are a variety of programs that offer both individual and group-based support. These include Narcotics Anonymous, Families Anon

The subject of child abuse has been around for many years, but for some reason only until the last few years has it been recognized as a real problem. Some forms of child abuse that lead to problems later in life are physical, emotional, verbal, incest, etc. When someone is abused as a young child their mind deals with this by creating multiple personalities, drug and alcohol abuse, and as adults you may become an abuser yourself. If you look back at the history of some convicts you will find they were abused as children.

When a child growing up is traumatized by incest, usually he or she is forced to hide the trauma and “act normal.” The wounded part gets split off so the pain and shame can become secret, even to the child herself. Sometimes actual memories of abuse are suppressed or lost, while ...

Getting in touch with our inner children is not always easy. At first it might seem that they just want to cry and cry. That’s natural. The parts of us that were split off at a young age had to go away for good reasons—abuse, fear, neglect, misunderstanding. These young parts were not allowed to express their overwhelming feelings, so they took the feelings away with them. When we invite these lost inner children back into our lives, we have to be ready for them to express a lot of distress. But what do we do then? How do we soothe the inner child?

I often come across sad examples of the powers of self-delusion that the narcissist provokes in his victims. It is what I call "malignant optimism". People refuse to believe that some questions are unsolvable, some diseases incurable, some disasters inevitable. They see a sign of hope in every fluctuation. They read meaning and patterns into every random occurrence, utterance, or slip. They are deceived by their own pressing need to believe in the ultimate victory of good ove

Written October 17, 1988 I was out in the back yard shooting baskets with some of the boys from the neighborhood. It was a crisp, sunny fall afte oon, sweatshirt weather, and I was feeling great about life. I had finally gotten the knack of the jump shot, and was really proud of myself. The back door open, my Dad called out, "Son, come here a minute." I walked over to him, breathing hard from the exertion. "Get your jacket, we're going down to the Y." "The Y? How come?"

Have you ever watched a group of children playing together? There's so much energy and so much smiling. There's lots of running around, and then inevitably, somebody starts crying. Someone gets mad. There's a bit of emotional chaos. Sometimes a grown-up has to step in and sometimes the kids work it out themselves. You might call it child's play. After all that's what children do. They run around, they have fun, they quarrel, and then they get up and do it all over again. But

Despite a 30-year inquiry into the subject, many people remain uninformed about the true nature of one of the biggest social issues facing America today. A witness offers a quick look that reveals some implications and solutions for all of us. If a jet liner with 300 passengers went down every day, it would be on the news every night. How is it that 80,000 health care visits every day due to interpersonal abuse doesn’t make the news? Abuse veteran, anthropologist and writer, Anna Moss connects the dots for the uninitiated to show how this subject touches everyone.

I sit here once more at my computer, with a jumble of thoughts that have been dancing around in my head for some days now. It has taken me until now to find the inspiration, and to really think about the concept surrounding this Phenomenon. We have all been in a position where we have felt our heart has been broken, that it will surly never mend. That there is no light at the end of the tunnel, the pain is just immeasurable. We sit and stare at the floor deep within our sadn

This subject was something that I really had trouble getting my head around, why would anyone revisit a point in their life where it spelt nothing but pain and suffering. Why the hell would I ? A place you would think that your own consciousness would crawl over hot coals to keep you from revisiting. When you consider that statement it’s easy to see my confusion. What we have to remember here is that it’s the action of a mind struggling in the realms of the reality. At that p

Written April 12, 1990 How do you know when it's time to say goodbye? To move on? To go separate ways? There comes a point for many people, whether it's with the true love of your life, the gang at church, your oldest friend, or a group you used to hang with, when something is just not the way it was. So what to do? And when to do it?

LONELY CREATURES We’re all social animals, even when we sometimes need our privacy Many people in the mental health field, spiritual practices & new-age wisdom say we shouldn’t worry about what others think of us. Yes, OK, but it’s not that simple! What they don’t tell you is that there’s 2 different aspects, the negative & the positive.

The work of Dan Millman is very powerful for assisting a person in transforming his or her life. In my work as a psychotherapist at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program I introduce all of the clients to “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” both as a book and as the movie. The movie and book are about a person who learns about never giving up and in the process begins a process of transforming his life. The process is about becoming present to that which he was no

Lidija Rangelovska advanced the idea that some children subjected to abuse in dysfunctional families – objectified, dehumanized, their boundaries breached, and their growth stunted – develop intense feelings of shame. They turn out to be codependents or narcissists owing to their genetic makeup and innate character. According to her, children who turned out to be codependents as adults are resilient, while the more fragile narcissists seek to evade shame by concocting and the

Time for HealingnnWe have to go through some unfortunate experiences sometimes in our life. When you speak with other people you will always find out how easy your experience is in comparison to what they have suffered. The impact that experience has brought on your life cannot be identified in your immediate moment but on the contrary will be understood once you step out of the experience itself.nnWe always seem to look for reasons to justify our experiences or lessons in li

My next several blog posts are all related to the same topic. They deal with something that happened to me in July of 1988. My Dad had died the previous Thanksgiving, and I was still in the grief process over that loss. As well, I was still involved with a 12 step program for people who had grown up around alcoholism. That group had grown to be like a family for me. Yet I had seen several situations where I needed to back away from people in that group, because the dynamic wasn’t healthy for me.

Life can be tough, and as we all know, it's even more complicated when trying to stop binge eating disorder. We are thrown obstacles and our drive can sometimes seem obscured. Even in these struggles, your goal needs to stay at the forefront of your mind, so that you learn how to stop binge ...Life can be tough, and as we all know, it's even more complicated when trying to stop binge eating disorder. We are thrown obstacles and our drive can sometimes seem obscured. Even in these struggles, your goal needs to stay at the forefront of your mind, so that you learn how to stop binge eating.

Abuse Survivor's Series: nUsing Overreactions To Begin Healing Our Childhood WoundsnBy: Stephanie Gagos nnAs an abused child I frequently detached as a way of coping with what was happening to me and even though most of my memories were devoid of emotion, it did not mean I was not experiencing emotion. My mother’s unpredictable violence forced me to suppress whatever internal turmoil I was feeling, in order to survive. This pattern of suppression and detachment became n

1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner. That’s when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens

The moment the verbal assault springs off his/her tongue, the natural reflex is “ouch.” Correct? But lucky for you, it doesn’t have to be.nnLet’s face it, you cannot control what’s up with another person, much less what they dish out, but you certainly can control yourself. And when it comes to verbal abuse you have a choice.nn What is your choice with verbal abuse? nnYou can let in or not let it in! Okay, I can hear you thinking: that’s ea

Sexual abuse is a life altering experience that impacts on many aspects of your life daily. I liken it to being held hostage with a gun to your head. You spend your days trying to prevent the gun from going off. This may be a graphic description for some; however, if you have experienced sexual abuse you will resonate with this description.

The holiday season is considered to be one of the most hectic times for police and traffic departments due to the significant increase in impaired or drunk driving. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), there are more than 1000 people in America who are killed across the country in highway crashes between Thanksgiving and New Year. Despite the various campaigns that have been run by parents, social workers, activists and police departments,

Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder in which individuals view themselves as inadequate, unlovable, or incompetent. There are many manifestations of low self-esteem, the worst of them being addiction. There’s no doubt that low self-esteem is one of the chief causes of addiction. The relationship between low self-esteem and addiction has been established since time immemorial because people who have had serious addiction problems also have low self-esteem issues. Having es

Learning to take care of yourself is at the very core of your healing process. It’s a way to demonstrate self-love and respect of yourself. No matter how busy you get, making time to care for yourself—mind, body, and spirit—is a must. Neglecting self-care can have negative effects on body, mind, and spirit, leaving us depleted and out of balance. For this reason, it is important to have self-care strategies that address each of these parts of ourselves.

Abusive relationships are largely invisible to the public, most of whom are illiterate about this realm of life. Acts of abuse mostly take place behind closed doors and can go on for some time before there is visual evidence. For example, you can’t tell by looking that: • A woman was verbally savaged or raped by her husband that morning. • She has no direct access to funds, has no money in her wallet and is being blocked in her efforts to get more or better work.r

Verbal abuse is toxic. The following is Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviewing domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. in an effort to help people recognize and understand verbal abuse in unhealthy relationships.nnn 1) KATE CARLSON: In your words, please define verbal abuse and emotional abuse. And how someone can recognize these within a relationship.nnn Dr. Jeanne King: Verbal abuse is the use of derogatory language and/or tone toward another person. Emotional abu

I have been looking at a book by Claudia Black, “My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has A Disease” (A Child’s View: Living With Addiction, full of pictures and writing by children), and remembering the children of addiction, and the mentally ill. I have seen five-year-olds acting like little adults, some even saving their parents from death by overdose and other calamities. I have seen children acting out to be the cry for help for the family. I have worked with children who have learned to dissociate, check out of their bodies and minds to escape the pain.

Most of us are pretty well acquainted with the inner critic, the one who says (to me), “Your writing stinks. You’re not good enough. You’re not a loving person. You don’t have enough friends.” That inner critic voice is usually installed early in life and can ...

Lack of emotional safety is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being.nnWhen you have emotional safety, it’s palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it’s missing, you may feel its loss. Or, you may simply know of it not being there by the presence of these five glaring signs.nn 1) Not honoring your privacy. nIf something is in a drawer, it’s in

When I read spiritual guidebooks, mostly based on Buddhism, the same objections arise in me every time. They ask us to “move beyond personal story” and to let go of old hurts. Well, I sure want to wriggle free of the stickiness of the old stuff, but I have to work a lot with it ...

"The new narcissist is haunted not by guilt but by anxiety. He seeks not to inflict his own certainties on others but to find a meaning in life. Liberated from the superstitions of the past, he doubts even the reality of his own existence. Superficially relaxed and tolerant, he finds little use for dogmas of racial and ethnic purity but at the same time forfeits the security of group loyalties and regards everyone as a rival for the favours conferred by a pate alistic state.

The headlines read: Eight Year-Old Kills Father and a Boarder. Was this tragedy preventable? If it is proven that the known causes of youth violence were there, it was entirely preventable. This is worse than a tragedy and it must be fixed. Experts agree that most youth who become violent share ...

Most people with coronary heart disease have a checkered history with food. They've eaten a few too many pizzas and french fries, perhaps, and not quite enough fruits and vegetables. Maybe you can relate. But if your heart's in trouble, this is no time to regret your past indulgences. Instead, it's time to turn food into an ally. A healthy diet can go a long way toward preventing a heart attack. and it might even help clear your arteries. The healthy diet basics Diets are as individual as people. The foods you choose depend on your personal tastes and goals.

Personal growth and recovery from abuse is a journey. The journey we shall take commences at the point when one’s inner life begins, as a child, but not a living child, an inner-child, locked in time, forever orbiting in the universe within one’s head, and there is likely more than one such personality inside us. Each of these cursed children that is set free, each triumphant release, will advance the sufferer toward his new authentic self; toward a life free of the urgen

Drug addiction and abuse can be prevented. Research has shown that prevention programs that involve families, schools, and communities can help reduce drug abuse. It is important for the youth and general public to understand the real risks of drug abuse and addiction. Community leaders must spread the message that drug addiction can be prevented if a person never abuses drugs. Drugs tap into your brain’s, communication system and interferes with the way nerve cells send, r

Patients afflicted with the Factitious Disorder colloquially known as “Munchausen Syndrome” seek to attract the attention of medical personnel by feigning or by self-inflicting serious illness or injury. “Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome” (Factitious Illness or Disorder by Proxy, or Imposed by Another, or FII – Fabricated or Induced Illness by Carers) involves the patient inducing illness in or causing injury to a dependent (child, old parent) in order to gain, in her capacity as

ACOA DOUBLE BINDS - Either way we lose ourselves, to stay loyal to the family If you’d like to know about double binds, go to pg. 10 of www.acoarecovery.com. ACoAs have a terrible dilemma: 1. On the one hand we desperately want to be loved, acknowledged, seen, heard. We complain bitterly for years that we have to chase people down, do all the work in relationships, friends don’t come thru for us, we’re too isolated, hate being lonely, we can’t trust anyone...

More than once to date I have received an email from an abuser and not the abused. The question that must pop in to our heads is why? Why would someone of that ilk visit my web page? Is it not rubbing their noise in it? Are their reasons for being here pure? After much pondering, I have decided to write this piece to those of you that have. If you are here then maybe there is a way to terminate this continued devastation. Can I help you realise, see clearly the excessive dama

Advocacy Coach is a term that we have not heard much, but this is a very important role that someone plays in the life of the disability community. Before the laws few people acknowledged that there is a disability community. Today, we're still on the outskirts looking in. People with disabilities still don't have opportunities in the workplace even though we have laws on the books today to guarantee us these rights. Especially now that there is 10% unemployment. The only option is to look to self employment.

"We need to do more thn just tell our troubles to God. God already knows. What we do need to learn to do is sit down with God and look for solutions: What actions to take, choices to make, directions to turn. In our conversation with God, we need to hear both the joyful and painful aspects of ...