Marriage Coaching Articles

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. As we say repeatedly, the simple things matter in love and marriage. Do the simple things and your marriage or loving relationship will prosper. Charley learned his lesson some 43 years ago! He grew up in a rural area of Missouri back when outhouses were more prevalent than toilets that flushed!

America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts Over the years, we have been asked if the age differential between people contemplating marriage really matters. Our answer – it depends! In our thousands of interviews on six continents of the world, we have learned this – when you are truly in love, your age and the age of the one you love really doesn’t matter for the most part. But there is a reality to this notion as well. There are circumstances when the difference in age does matter.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Let’s face it; the oft-quoted statistic that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce discourages a lot of couples who are contemplating marriage. Who could blame them? Who wants to get into relationships where there is the expectation of failure half the time! But the truth is, the suggestion that there is a 50% divorce rate in American is simply wrong, wrong, wrong!

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Okay, we admit it – our favorite new love-story movie is Leap Year (2010). We simply love the movie and have now watched it three times! The movie speaks to many of the research findings we have found over the three decades we have researched successful marriage and relationships on six of the world’s seven continents.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Starting over is really difficult when it comes to love and marriage. Getting a divorce, breaking up, or losing the one you love due to their death can be overwhelmingly painful. The simple truth is this – you entered into your loving relationship with another person expecting it to last forever. But all acts of love are, we are afraid to say, not everlasting.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We are eternal optimists – make no mistake about that! With us, glasses are always half full, not half empty. The sun is always shining where we live! We are eternally hopeful that tomorrow will be a brighter day – and it usually is! We love life and are excited to get out of bed every morning. For us, every day is a joyful experience. We hope you spend most of your time feeling the same way. Frankly, it is hard for us to think negatively about any aspect of our life and our existence.

Bride and Groom’s Top 10 Best Budget Wedding Cake Tips Your wedding cake is sure to be the most expensive dessert you’ll ever serve. Many LDS couples cringe at the thought of spending $800 on a single cake – after all, haven’t we been taught to be thrifty? While you may not be able to take the sting completely out of paying for your wedding cake, here are 10 ways to make sure that your cake eats up less of your wedding budget. Easy Ways to Save Money on Wedding Cake

Debunking The Divorce Rate Myth By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitzr "the marriage doctors"

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. In these tough economic times we think it is important to again remind folks that the best things in life are free. To love, to be loved, and to give the gift of time is the best gift you can give to someone. This is an especially important message on Valentine’s Day.

By America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We arrived in Dublin, Ireland for a week of interviews on the Emerald Isle with successfully married couples. Our journey is part of our new "simple things matter in love and marriage" series and relates to our continuing search for great marriages around the world.

Bride’s Guide on How to Choose a Wedding Cake Design and to Decorate her Wedding Cake How do you describe your dream cake to your decorator when you don’t know the lingo? Read on for an overview of commonly used wedding cake decorating techniques and embellishments. Knowing what’s out there can help you to choose your ideal design when you sit down with your wedding specialty baker and decorator. Fondant or Buttercream Icing as the Base Do you ever wonder how professionally-done cakes get that flawlessly smooth layer of frosting on top?

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Let’s face it – the economy of the USA is in turmoil. And the truth is, the unemployment rate is approaching 10%, and will probably exceed that rate in the coming months. The times are tough in America today. Not good news, for sure. Tough times put a strain on marriages; there is no doubt about that. So what does all this mean for marriage in the USA? Our review of the evidence suggests that the tough economic times we face may be, in reality, a positive development when it comes to marriage.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. On the Today Show a remarkable segment aired. It was remarkable not because it was good or enlightening, but because it wasn’t. In fact, it was downright misleading and irresponsible based upon the research evidence, and we want to comment on it.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Falling in love does not have to be complicated. Sometimes it is as simple as meeting someone for the first time, falling head over heals in love with them and spending a lifetime together. It can be just that simple! Several days ago, we interviewed a successfully married couple whose marriage was not all that unusual.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We thought we had heard everything until this! We heard recently that the Reverend Ed Young of the Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas told his congregation during a Sunday worship service that he wanted married couples in his congregation to have sex all week long.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We are “baby-boomers.” Like some 80 million Americans, we were born during the period 1946-1964. We are that generation of Americans born to what former NBC anchor Tom Brokaw called, “The Greatest Generation.” Our parents survived the Great Depression, won the Second World War, and by most accounts, saved the world and preserved democracy in a post-war era. There is no doubt; the free world owes a great debt of gratitude to the Greatest Generation.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Did you ever wonder why some people find the perfect person to marry, do so, and enjoy a love affair that lasts a lifetime? On the other hand, some marry a person that is wrong for them now, wrong for them tomorrow, and wrong for them for a lifetime? What’s the difference? Why do some succeed at love and marriage where others fail?

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Over the many years we have been conducting research about love and marriage, we are continually reminded of the important role effective communication between couples plays in the overall health and well being of their relationship.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Here is an undeniable truth about life – actions speak louder than words! We know, you’ve heard this all before! But the truth is, you can, and must, judge a man by his actions and not by his words! Words are cheap. Actions mean everything! The truth is always there for all to see when you observe the way people act and respond, rarely by what they say. This truth is self-evident – good men practice what they preach.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Make no mistake about it – great marriages require unencumbered time! You have read our musings about the fundamental predisposition of every human being to have time alone – to have time only to their private thoughts.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. There is absolutely no question about it, great marriages require time alone – time away from each other! We have witnessed time and time again marriages in which one or both partners failed to understand the importance of being alone, not only for themselves, but for their spouse as well. When we first introduce this concept to others, the reaction is usually one of surprise.

Reflections on Love and Marriage By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz "the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage (Available at Amazon.com) . This coming Monday, we will celebrate our 41st Wedding Anniversary. Just imagine, being successfully married for 41 years!

Love, Marriage, and Prenuptial Agreements By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz "the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage (Available at Amazon.com) . We believe that Prenuptial Agreements are a bad idea, period! Just imagine, telling someone that you love him or her, but you don't trust them!

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. The fact of the matter is this -- marriage is alive and well in the United States and around the world! It is the single greatest contributor to social order on planet Earth. And the fact of the matter is this -- marriage is the most profound commitment to lasting love that exists. Those who question its importance ignore the facts. Statistically, there is substantial support for our point of view.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. How will I know when I find Mr. Right? What if I am making a big mistake? Is he really the ONE, or should I walk away? These are critical questions women must ask themselves when they try to decide whether to move on with a serious relationship or whether to they decide to move on to find the real Mr. Right.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Our current European trip is part of our continuing search for great marriages around the world. This time our travels have brought us to the tiny principality of Andorra.

Love Is Like Learning To Dance By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz "the marriage doctors"

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Our ongoing search for the world’s best marriages took us to Gibraltar today, or as some refer to it – the Rock of Gibraltar. Doing interviews with happily married couples there seemed like a nice transitional thing to do since we are on our way to North Africa to interview Muslim couples for the first time in our many travels around the world. We will land in Morocco on Thursday.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We are currently on an East Coast swing promoting our new book, Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (Jossey-Bass/Wiley, 2010, available wherever books are sold).

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. The “heart of the matter” is this – successful marriages around the world are bound together by their commonalities – certainly not by their differences. Learn the lessons, emulate them, practice them, take them to heart, and engage in the simple acts that make great marriage work every day. For more than 26 years, we have traveled the world in search of the best marriages. Our travels have taken us to five of the world’s seven continents and to nearly 40 countries.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. People in love sometimes fall out of love. But sometimes, they fall back into love all over again. While we have seen many instances of this in our interviews over the years, a great example of what we are talking about is the love affair between Tom and Anna.

Are You Scaring Away Your Chance At Love? By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Several months ago we penned an article entitled, “Great Love Is Best Not Rushed.” Our principle theme was this – in the beginning of a budding love relationship, don’t get in a hurry in your quest for love and companionship. To do so will often result in a failed relationship because one of you will run away before the relationship is cemented if you feel pressured! And that would be too bad.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. This Holiday Season again reminds us of the importance of being with those you love as you celebrate the joy of the season. We have heard repeatedly during our many interviews with successfully married couples around the world the importance they attach to seeing their children over the holidays and on other special occasions. A parent’s love is with you everywhere. Every time you are far from home you are never alone. Your parents are always with you.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. At the end of every interview we conduct with happily and successfully married couples we ask the most powerful question of our interview protocol – “Can you imagine life without your spouse?” The question always draws tears to the eyes of the couple we are interviewing. We have asked them a question they have repressed. It is a question no loving couple wants to think about. The answer is, however, nearly always the same – “No!”

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We know how you feel! Starting over is really difficult when it comes to love and marriage. Getting a divorce, breaking up, or losing the one you love due to their death can be overwhelmingly painful. The simple truth is this – you entered into your loving relationship with another person expecting it to last forever.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. It appears that the Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, has admitted to having an affair.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. According to the available research evidence, there are several periods in a marriage that seem, on average, to be particularly troublesome – the first year, the seventh year, the fifteenth year, and the 30th year. Marriages that survive and thrive beyond 30 years have virtually no chance of ending in divorce!

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Over the past several days, we have been in sunny southern California conducting interviews with selected celebrities including a former priest and his wife and couples with very famous last names. Tomorrow, we tape a segment of the television show, Lifestyle Magazine. It has been a fun trip so far.

Physical Love By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz "the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage (Available at Amazon.com) . Now that we have your attention . . . We completed our annual physical examinations today. Long ago we established the tradition of scheduling our respective annual physicals on the same day. Why, you ask?

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. For the past five days we have been in two remarkable cities – Tangiers and Casablanca, Morocco. We came to Morocco by boat from Tarifa, Spain – a distance across the Mediterranean Sea of just nine miles.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. In our many travels around the world conducting our marriage research, we are often ask this question – “Does Marriage Improve With Age?” The answer is, YES! Here’s why.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. There is an old saying among those who specialize in statistical data, and it goes like this – “Statistics are for liars and damn liars.” The famous Missourian, Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) said it even better when he opined “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so!” More on these notions later. Meanwhile, back at the ranch.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Over our 44 years of marriage we have met thousands of couples that deeply loved each other. We have interviewed many, many of them for our several books on successful marriage.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. This is the time of the year when so many of us make promises to ourselves and to others that we rarely ever keep! These so-called “New Year’s Resolutions” sound good when we make them but, all too often, we ignore them by Valentine’s Day. You know the familiar refrains – I will lose weight. I will quit smoking. I will call my Mom at least once a week. And the list goes on. How about you do something different this year.

Remember the television show, “Seinfeld?” Like you, we laughed ourselves silly over the antics of the show. It was funny and full of uproarious one-liners. When Jerry Seinfeld decided to promote the idea of a new show called “The Marriage Ref,” he and everyone else surely imagined that it would be a hit. Why would anyone expect anything different? But now, reality is up against the truth. And the simple truth is this – marital problems aren’t funny to the couples going through the trials and tribulations of the various marital challenges all marriages go through.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. As you know, infidelity stories were at an all-time high in the media this year—from former Senator John Edwards and South Carolina Governor Terry Sanford to Late Night host David Letterman and Golfer Tiger Woods. It’s enough to make many people wonder if long-term marriage is even possible!

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We owe our moms a lot. While we are lucky that we get to have them around, we have to find a balance between helping our mom and nurturing our own marriage. Over-committing time in a helping relationship at the expense of your marriage will, in the long run, not benefit you, your mom or your spouse. First, you will need to help your mom understand just how important it is to you to have a successful and loving relationship with your spouse.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Have you ever heard of the so-called “hormone of love” called Oxytocin? This hormone has been promoted in some circles as “promoting long-term attachment” between two people who purport to love each other. Some have even suggested a “shot-in-the-arm of this substance” to make the world more lovely and loveable – to make two people more attracted to each other.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. If you are like us, you are sick and tired of all the debate about what constitutes a successful marriage or relationship. Does it really matter what others think about OUR love, who we marry, or what makes us happy in life? Shouldn’t the real question be, “What does it take to sustain a loving relationship for a lifetime?”

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. There is something about the summer that encourages love. Maybe it’s the bright summer sun. It could be the warm summer breeze. Maybe it’s the refreshing summer water! Perhaps, it is the summer vacation. And isn’t the All Star Game played in the middle of the summer? In fact, baseball lovers know the All Star Game is played in our home town of St. Louis this summer. Whatever the cause, it appears that most people fall in love during the summer and get married during the summer – more than in any other season of the year.