How To Save Your Marriage By Yourself: How To Save Your Marriage When Your Spouse Doesn't Want To

What to Do When your Spouse Tells You that He or She is Considering a Divorce

Have you just been told by your spouse that he or she wants a divorce? If so, you are basically left with three choices. You can agree with your spouse and offer no resistance. You can disagree, but fail to do what it takes to save the marriage. Or, you can say to yourself, "I must start to save my marriage today, no matter what it takes to do so."

Tips to Help You Save your Marriage Alone: List the Marriage Problems

First, determine what problems have led to the marriage crisis. Then determine the causes of those problems. You may feel frustrated at the prospect of pinpointing all of the causes by yourself. However, it is important to accept the reality that you may not be able to produce a complete record of the issues. But your solo efforts will give you a list from which to determine the marriage problem areas of which you need to focus.

Estimate the order of each marriage problem's importance. Next develop an idea of the level of intensity required to solve each issue. Some examples of common marriage problems include; communication problems, no longer being there emotionally or sexually for each other, and no longer treating each other with respect. These issues that immediately come to the surface are a good place to start.

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Decide Appropriate Solutions to the Problems

Next, gather all the facts concerning the causes of all of the problems you identified. These are the causes for the potential divorce. Make theoretical assumptions about how those problems can be solved. Then, consider hypothetical scenarios based on your set of assumptions. Allow each hypothetical scenario to fully develop to its logical conclusion. From what you know about your spouse's likes, dislikes, personality and level of tolerance to listen to such a solution, you should make a guess as to how well that hypothetical solution might be received.

Catalog and Rank Your Solutions

Next, compare each solution with the others. Rank these solutions, from best to worst, based on the chances of a positive expected response from your spouse. Also, rank each solution based on the amount of relationship-mending impact that you expect each solution to produce. Then, determine which of the problem-solving measures you should select to implement. The goal is to get the best response from your spouse. Complete this last solution development step over and over. You should catalog those solutions until you feel confident they will work.

Handle Each Solution with Tender Tact

Next, from best to worst, try to implement the solution you determined would have the best overall outcome. Timing is important in order to maximize the effect of your solution. Wait until you are already talking to your spouse to ask him or her if you can share an idea that could fix one of your marriage problems. Stress that the purpose of the solution is to make things better in your marriage together. If he or she agrees to listen to you, then follow these steps.

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First repeat back to him or her reasons he or she gave for desiring a divorce. Next, tell him or her that you have begun to re-evaluate your level of effort to make the marriage work. Explain to him or her that you have started to make changes in yourself to repair the damage you have already done to the marriage.

Sharing with your spouse that you have taken his or her desire for a divorce seriously is a great place to start. Tell him or her that you have begun to take steps to repair the marriage. This may inspire your spouse to trust you. Next, explain your first solution to your husband or wife. You will want to stop and listen to your spouse's response and reactions. Be prepared ahead of time for a good or bad response from your spouse. If your spouse is receptive to your best solution for one of your marriage problems, then start communicating with him or her concerning each of your top solutions.

Also, he or she might decide somewhere along this line of communication to mend the marriage with you. He or she may offer his or her own resolutions to your marriage problems. Even if the other spouse is not impressed right away, it is still important to listen to his or her responses to your ideas.

An important tip about restoring the relationship with an estranged spouse is to respect his or her need for time to think apart from being with you. Do not bug, harass, and/or try to contact your estranged spouse once he or she has indicated that he or she does not want to be contacted. Respect his or her desire for space may be the first step towards reconciliation.

Follow Through with Your Action Steps of Reconciliation

Whether or not your estranged spouse shows interest in working on restoring the marriage, or shows complete apathy, take action right away. Do not hesitate for one minute to show him or her that you are serious about mending the marriage. Putting words into action can be amazingly effective in convincing a spouse that the marriage is worth a second try. Saving a marriage on the verge of a divorce is difficult to do alone, but it is not impossible.

When a marriage has deteriorated almost to the point of divorce there is no guarantee that it is still fixable. However, marriages in this situation are saved everyday and there is hope. There is always a chance that it can be fixed. The decision is not final until both of you have signed the divorce papers. Until that point, there is hope that the marriage will not end in divorce. You can feel positive about every effort you make to save it. Each effort may indeed be rewarded with positive outcomes and, perhaps, the restoration of your marriage.

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A no trust marriage is a marriage suffering from trust issues that disrupts the relationship between the husband and wife. Rebuilding trust in your marriage after lies is one of the most difficult things to do. However, despite the difficulty, rebuilding trust in your relationship is very important. Trust is a vital part of any relationship and your trust is necessary if you want to keep your relationship healthy and growing.

True trust grows gradually over time, and this is why long term relationships such as a marriage can fully rest in trust. Also, this gradual growth of trust is the reason why once the trust is broken, it's even harder to recover. With that being said, time can mend the trust issues you're facing in your marriage. However, there are some steps you can take during this time of recovery to fix a no trust marriage so you can re-establish a deep level of trust.

The first step is to open up about what caused the breach of trust. This is important because both you and your partner need to understand what happened to cause that person to break the trust. If you're willing to rebuild trust in your marriage you must listen to the thoughts and feelings that lead up to the breaking of trust. This is the fundamental step towards opening the line of forgiveness and initiating a new commitment to one another.

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The next step is to learn how others have gone through the same trust issues you are going through now. Many marriages have survived dangerous trust issues that threatened to take their marriage apart. Read up on the specific type of trust issues you are dealing with and see how other couples have overcame similar challenges.

Lastly, to fix a no trust marriage you have to allow time to rebuild the trust. There is no fast route to rebuild the trust you had. So you must continue to make new commitments and keep them over and over again. TIme really can rebuild trust, and it is time that will rebuild that foundation of trust your relationship needs. You and your spouse should continue to keep the commitment you have to one another and eventually you will regain that trust you once had, and this time it will be stronger and better than before.

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Couples most often ask for advice when they are just about ready to throw in the towel and end their marriage. This is a huge reason why one in two marriages are destined to fail. They don't seek the successful marriage advice early on so they can understand how to make their marriage work.

Have you ever wondered what is needed to make a marriage successful? It's not just one thing, but in fact a number of things that will determine the success of a marriage.

The most important thing you need to make a marriage successful is communication. Without communication your marriage will definitely fail. Communication is the only way your relationship can progress further and be better than what it is right now.

Compassion is the key for any married couple that wants to survive their relationship. Whether you know it or not, your spouse always takes notice of your behavior. If you are not compassionate or nice to each other, you will most likely be arguing and fighting instead. Arguing and fighting will lead to more arguing and fighting, making it harder for you to have a successful relationship.

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The next thing a successful marriage needs are effective listeners. When you develop the ability to listen to your partner it will help you determine only current problems that might be present in your relationship. When you listen effectively you'll be able to solve most issues before they become worse.

Couples in a successful marriage are masters at sharing. They share their whole life with each other, and they don't hide their behaviors or emotions from one another.

You should take trips and escapades together so you both can share one memory of your past you can remember and cherish for years to come. Once you learn how to share your life with your spouse it will bring out greater things in your marriage.

You also need affection in your marriage if you want to be successful. Affection is necessary because it will make your partner feel that they are needed or wanted in the marriage. The best advice is to always show your partner affection or they might seek it from some where else.

Once you learn how to have a successful marriage it will build more confidence in you and your relationship. Just continue to progress and continue to show confidence in one another and it will be hard to not to achieve marital bliss.

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Is it really possible for one spouse to save a marriage? A lot of people will tell you it takes two to save a marriage, and they will also tell you to get over it and move on. However, if you feel in your heart that your marriage still has something left in it, then you owe it to yourself to at least try.

For anyone that wants to know how to save a marriage, with a spouse that doesn't show any interest in trying anymore, there are some strategies you can use. When you're trying to save your marriage the first place you should start focusing on is yourself.

Try to be the best person you can be, not just for your spouse but for yourself also. Many times when a person is in a bad marriage, they get depressed and they no longer take pride in how they look or feel. It's time to be that person you were when you first got married, the person your spouse fell in love with.

At this point in your marriage and life, it's important to keep a positive attitude and keep yourself groomed and looking your best. When you are on the road to self improvement you will be taking a serious look at yourself and who you have become after you got married.

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It's not uncommon to feel a little depressed by all the years you've sacrificed for your spouse and marriage. However, it's highly unlikely that any spouse will want to stay with a depressed spouse, so you must keep your attitude positive in order to have any hope in turning your relationship around.

Do you think one spouse can save a marriage if they don't put extra effort and love into their relationship? Of course not, when you are trying to better your marriage by yourself you are going to have to do all the work, at least until your spouse comes to their senses.

You have to be prepared to give more without getting much back in return. If your spouse tells you they want a divorce, then it's up to you to put in the necessary effort to change their mind.

This is what it takes to save a marriage on your own. You will have to put in a lot of effort to make your marriage better, and to better yourself.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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