How To Deal With A Spouse Who Doesn't Want To Talk: My Husband / Wife Doesn't Talk To Me About Anything

Marriage is all about open and honest communication, right? It's supposed to be about that but sometimes life takes control and a couple ends up in a place where they barely communicate about anything of substance at all. Sure, they exchange pleasantries in the morning and when they come home from work, but the real meat and potatoes of their relationship is never discussed. Typically, this happens when one partner shuts down emotionally and pulls back. They stop sharing, which results in the relationship becoming strained and tenuous. Dealing with a spouse who doesn't want to talk is certainly a challenge but it should never be viewed as insurmountable. If you're the spouse who is ready, willing and eager to share, there are certain ways you can encourage your partner to come back out of their emotional shell and communicate with you again.

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Pushing your spouse to talk if they are unwilling to is rarely a good idea. If a person isn't open to talking about their feelings and the person they are closest to repeatedly pushes, they'll eventually shut down completely. They'll feel cornered and they may even feel so pressured that they'll simply agree to everything their spouse says. Although it may make you momentarily feel better if your spouse agrees with your feelings, you'll soon discover how unhappy they still are. A person will only openly share if they feel they can do so in a safe and non-judgmental way. You have to create that type of environment for your partner so he or she will feel it's okay to reveal themselves.

The path to do this takes time and patience. You must explain to your spouse that you respect their desire to keep things to themselves but your marriage is very important to you. Tell them that you want to talk about what you both feel and are willing to do so in a way that you both feel safe. Try and stress to your partner that your goal isn't just to satisfy your need to talk, but you are more interested in hearing what they are feeling and thinking about the marriage. Before you end this conversation, explain again that you aren't looking for any sort of confrontation or conflict and that you recognize that there are issues in the marriage that you both need to work on and you're willing to do that.

Keep talking to your spouse about whatever he or she wants to discuss. Ask questions about their daily experiences at work and what they are looking forward to tomorrow or next week. If you take a continued, active interest in your partner's life, he or she, will start to see that you really do care and are willing to wait to discuss important things until they are ready.

When the day does come when your spouse is ready to communicate with you about the marriage, you have to be calm, centered and cool. Allow them the floor to speak and try and keep your emotions as in control as you can. If they share difficult things, it's important that you try not to absorb them too personally. You have to stay objective and you need to be willing to see that you both have made your fair share of mistakes along the way. If you work slowly together, communication can begin to improve in your marriage to the point that you both feel willing to share everything again.

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It is very funny how many couples realize the need to save marriage after separation, well since it said that "experience is the best teacher", most of these couples only realize the need to save their marriage after having a little experience of what divorce would look like by been separated for a while. The truth is, that you should not wait until you are separated before you start seeking ways to resolve your marital problem issues, been separated means that your marriage is on the brink of a total break up i.e. divorce which also means that it would involve a lot more work to truly resolve the problems that you are facing in your marriage.

The only positive of been separated and also wanting to salvage your marriage is that, having experienced what divorce would be like, you would exert more energy in trying to resolve the problem issues in your marriage than someone who is still taking the emotional torture of divorce for granted. The only drawback is that it would indeed involve more work as a result of all the little marital differences that have been left unattended to all these while. All those little marriage differences which have piling up over the course of your married life and which ultimately led to the separation in the first place most be gradually sorted out one by one.

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Marital problems come in different dimensions and sizes; some can be solved easily while others require a major re-adjustment in order to be tackled but the first step to solve any of these problems despite its dimension and size is actually acknowledging and identifying the problem. Once you sort out the step of acknowledgment and identification, then you can easily seek and acquire strategies that are specifically meant to solve a particular kind of marital problem.

Many couples over the years have been able to resolve worse marital problems than yours; therefore, if you follow the right approach then you would no longer dream of having a blissful marriage rather you would go ahead to actually have a blissful marriage.

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Lack of intimacy in marriage is the single most culpable factor that leads to various marital problems and ultimately to marriage dissolution if not properly tackled. Of course due to how diverse marriage problems can be, there are also many culpable factors that can lead to each specific problem some which are infidelity, alcoholism, drug abuse and so many more but marital intimacy problem would have to take much of the blame.

In this write up, we shall be discussing what you can do to effectively and easily reverse lack of intimacy in your marriage. Chances are that you and your spouse have been married for some time now and prior to the manifestation of this marital intimacy problem, the candor in your marital relationship was most likely very good. You need to do a little bit of retracing, where and where did things start to go wrong, when did you notice that your marriage is losing its intimacy and what events happened at that time. By already identifying and accepting that your marriage is not as intimate as it used to be you have already solved the problem by 20%, by further identifying the events that gradually lead to this state of disarray you would have gone up another 20% thus making the intimacy problems that your marriage is facing 40% solved.

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At this point, you can now seek professional assistance from a renowned marriage problem resolution counselor. Knowing fully well what the problem is and how the problem came about will go a long way in helping you to successfully implement what ever strategies that you may have gotten from the counselor.

Conventional marriage counselors whom you have to visit there offices offline are costly and often times they require that you come with your spouse who for one reason or the other may not oblige to your request. The best bet is to seek professional help from online counselors who have been able to package all their marital problem resolution strategies into an e-book, audio and video format. It is very cheap to acquire, does not require the consent of your spouse and offer one-on-one online coaching. By following this route, you will effective reverse the lack of intimacy in your marriage.

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In this write up, we shall be discussing how to prevent divorce by taking certain crucial steps. These crucial steps when properly taken would also effectively aid you in rebuilding your marriage. There is no such thing like perfect or ideal marriage, if you have seen couples whom you think have a perfect or ideal marriage, what really happens is that such couples have cultivated the ability of amicably resolving all those marital vices that are always bound to creep up in a marital union. By so doing, they have been able to bring their union as close to perfection as you can ever get, even though their union has its fair share of popping up marital vices as it is with yours.

Divorce is not something that can happen over night, the need for divorce is as a result of the accumulation of various minor and major marital vices which have been left unresolved in your union over time. Therefore, trying to prevent divorce is not also an act that can be effectively executed over night; it requires that you ultimately resolve all the marital issues that built it up. In order to do is, you have to take some crucial steps and these crucial steps will not only help you to prevent divorce but it would also help you to rebuild your marriage.

Crucial Step 1: Acknowledgment

The first step that you are supposed to take towards the successful prevention of your divorce is to accept and acknowledge that certain things are not right in your marriage. I mean, you can not possibly start to seek ways to address your divorce issues if you have not accepted that they exist.

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Crucial Step 2: Reflection And Assessment

In this step, you should take some time out to gradually travel back through time with your thoughts to ascertain what and what must have led your marriage to the state that it is in now. This is the time to assess the situation with an unbiased mind, be bold enough to apportion and take responsibility of all the things that went wrong in your marriage which were caused by your actions or inactions. This way you will be able to resolve them first before you start working on the ones that are attributable to your spouse.

Crucial Step 3: Seek Professional Help

This is the step where you have to seek help from a renowned marital problems resolution specialist, the reason been that there must have been some major marital conflict issues along the line that you and your spouse can not amicably resolve. Going to a specialist who has successfully helped other troubled couples in situations such as yours to resolve their problems would be the best bet now.

You should endeavor to go online in order to effectively accomplish this step, the resources that you will find online are more effective, efficient and by far cheaper than their offline counterparts. Go ahead and save your marriage.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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Author's Bio: 

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