Confidence is that knowing, self-assuredness, and state of certainty one carries about himself. When someone looks at him, the obvious truth is there: He knows.
He carries himself through the world with a look of resolve behind his eyes, as if he knows something no one else knows. People look at him and wonder what sets him apart from all others.
“How do I become like him?”, they wonder.
Yet, the person who stands before them was not always knowing. He was not always self-assured. And certainly, he was uncertain at one point in his life. He lacked resolve and direction.
So, how then did this person become a confident man? Here are 9 things he did regularly to become that man.
Body language, especially your walk, will tell others more about you than you will ever realize.
The body follows the mind. When a person is confident, it shows up in the way he walks. The chest is out with the shoulders back and relaxed. Going down to the hands, we see that they are also relaxed. A clenched hand shows nervousness.
The head is parallel to the ground, while the eyes stare off onto the horizon, like he is thinking about his next adventure. Each foot moves directly in front of the other, without any splaying to the sides. With every step, the shoulders move in a barreling figure-eight motion, much like how a puma moves when it stalks its prey.
Likewise, the mind follows the body. You can hack confidence into your brain by learning to walk with more confidence. With each step you take, the mind is reprogrammed. Over time, you become what you think about.
Next time you’re on an airplane, spread out and take up space, especially if you’re a small person. Stop jockeying for that arm rest by simply resting your arm on it, taking up half of it if you wish to be humble. This communicates subconsciously to other people that you believe in yourself, that you matter, and that you are not afraid to be seen.
After all, it’s crazy to hide when you are already invisible to the world. You matter. Too many people spend their lives hiding in the darkness. Then, they make up stories for their inadequacies and failures.
Make a decision to live in the light. Be brave and risk been seen.
Determined men take up a cause and chase after it with an irrational fervor. This could be helping to build houses for the homeless, volunteering at a hospital for terminally ill patients, or just fighting big companies on environmental violations.
Whatever the cause, it gives men a reason to get out of bed every morning. It’s their why for their what. If you’ve ever seen a look of grit, courage, and resolve behind a man’s eyes, you know he is on a mission.
So take up a cause. Take up something bigger than yourself so that when you move on from this world, the legacy you leave behind will be remembered.
Nervous people move like pigeons, quickly and impulsively. They do this because they are unsure of themselves and want to hide from the world. But what’s the point of hiding if you’re already invisible?
Confident men move slowly and deliberately. They move with conviction, like they are on a mission. They want to be seen, because what they do matters. Their personal mission motivates them to get out of bed every morning and their reason for living.
Confident men look you in the eye with warmth and understanding. They also do something much more subtle. They make sure you break eye contact first. The person who first breaks eye contact is usually the less confident one.
If you want to ooze confidence, especially with the ladies, then make sure they look away first.
Now, it may seem like I’m advocating you eyeball men until they challenge you to a fight. Far from it. If it’s obvious the other person will punch your lights out for eying him wrong, then be humble and look away first.
A disciplined workout routine, three times a week, lifting weights will do wonders in other areas of your life. It will teach you discipline. The act of going to the gym consistently is in itself learning how to make a decision and really committing to it.
The added benefits of working out are of course a masculine and muscular body that draws attention. The way you carry the weights in the execution of the exercise carries over into real life. You learn to move much more slowly and deliberately, for just a simple twisting motion while carrying a set of dumbbells could easily translate to an injured lower back.
The things you do in life should be synergistic with your passions. If you enjoy writing, then consider improving your public speaking skills by joining Toastmasters. The added confidence from speaking in front of a group of people will help your writing hobby, especially when you decide to finally write the next bestseller. Suddenly, the need to tour nationally so as to promote your book and speak in front of large groups of people come in handy. The skills you learned in Toastmasters are invaluable now.
Just as nervous men move impulsively, they also speak quickly. The reason for this is quite simple: They don’t believe that what they say is important or that anyone will listen to them. As a result, they speak in a quick burst during a lull in the conversation to get their thoughts out before they lose their train of thought.
Another thing that makes you sound unsure of yourself is when you preface an answer with, “I think…” or “It should be…” If you highly certain of the answer, then say it with conviction. This gives your listener confidence in yourself, because you believe in yourself.
And that’s the greatest catch in being confident. You have to first believe in yourself--that you are confident--before other people will believe in you.
Just as a confident man is sure of himself and will respond accordingly, he is also humble. If he doesn’t know the answer, he simply says he doesn’t know. Making others think you know the answer when you don’t and wasting their time is a sure way to lose their respect for you.
By respecting them, you also gain respect. And by admitting your shortcomings openly and candidly, you also elude confidence in a humble sort of way.
You don’t know, but you are confident you can find the answer.
So there you have it. Nine easy things for you to start doing today in order to improve your confidence. Each one of the suggested items are synergistic with each other. Because they compliment each other nicely, you are more likely to regularly practice daily each one of them.
Trying to become more confident, especially when you lack that confidence, can seem like a tall order. When you get down into the weeds, the change you wrought seems slow and difficult. Yet, months or years down the line when you look back, you realize that the changes have been just night and day. The more important thing you did was take to decide and then to take the first step. After all, every great accomplishment in your life began with a committed decision and then the commitment to take action.
Benson was at one time in his life feeling down and out. Through humbling experiences, a pioneering spirit, and just plain stubbornness, Benson dug himself out of that deep, dark hole. Now, he chases his dreams much more confidently and self-assuredly. If you want more success and confidence so you can chase after what really matters, claim your audioset blueprint today.