Mature Dating: To Live Together or Apart

Most over 50 couples will have to discuss moving in (or not) together at some point during their monogamous relationship. In the 60’s and 70’s, no one thought anything of moving in with their sweetheart- in fact, the idea was a goal for many couples and it was generally agreed upon that moving in together was chalked full of benefits. The benefits included saving money and sex. Both of which are still benefits of living together today, however, after the age of 50, there are also a number of disadvantages that can pop up.

Most of these disadvantages are related to aging, and money- both of which have potential to turn into sour conversations.

Aging isn’t a problem. It’s a part of life and happens to everyone. The disadvantages of aging come in when we think about what happens to our bodies and minds as we get older. As we age, our minds and bodies deteriorate in various ways. By this, I’m referring to the onset of acute pain and illness, as well as a possible loss of interest in sexual activities and fatigue.

While everyone gets sick with things like the flu, as we age, we become prone to more serious illnesses such as pneumonia and sicknesses that affect our minds. The most popular form of mental sickness that occurs as we age is Alzheimer’s, which has been called the “old person disease”. Despite its nickname, it’s important to note that the disease doesn’t exclusively affect the older population. It is found more often in people over the age of 65, but as many as 200,000 Americans under the age of 65 develop the disease each year.

Moving in with our partners as we age means that we may be required to care for someone who has an illness (such as Alzheimer’s and Dementia) that doesn’t go away and doesn’t have an official cure. This is a big commitment, especially when we’re aging ourselves and might have our own problems with pain and sickness.

Money is another issue as we age. If we’re lucky, we have enough of it- more realistically, though, we aren’t lucky and there isn’t enough money to go around after we retire. When we move in with a long term partner, our financial situation changes. Our money becomes our partner’s money and vice versa, and even though this sounds like a good situation, it can make things hard to manage and make retirement stressful.

So, what, if anything, is the biggest perk of moving in with our partner after years of mature dating? Most of the older generation will say that the biggest benefit is comfort. After years together and years of being single and finding ourselves, moving in with a partner as an elderly person brings us a sense of comfort that can’t be achieved without living together. This is especially true for those of us who are prone to feeling lonely when we’re alone, or who are suffering from empty nest syndrome.

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