Believe it or not, there are many people who aren’t willing to put an end to a relationship, even though they are aware that it only makes them suffer heavily.
These people can be found in all social groups, from cowboys and cowgirls to writers, medical workers and bankers, just to mention a few. Yet the one thing they all have in common is that they’ve probably experienced how it’s like to be in an unhealthy relationship at least once in their lives.
Why people stay in toxic relationships?
Surprisingly, many of these persons know that relationship they are in doesn’t make them any good whatsoever, and over the time they even learn to recognize some patterns in a partner’s behavior that usually trigger the sense of misery in them. Still, they seem to expect some sort of a miracle to happen or are secretly hoping that their partner will end the entire thing first so that they don’t have to take the initiative. On the other hand, there’s this paralyzing sense of fear of losing someone we love, even though we know he/she is not good for us.
Finally, they are unable to do anything save being quiet, retreat to their shell and wait for the relationship to wither itself.
Reading Signs
There are some signs that can help us understand that we’re stuck in a toxic relationship and these may vary from partner’s obsessive behavior that is often backed up with interrogations that often leave us completely drained, to mind games that are devised particularly to make us feel bad about everything good that happens to us.
And while it’s perfectly reasonable to be tolerant to your partner in times of crisis or when they are going through a particularly rough patch, toxicity is usually constant and can be triggered by anything you say or do.
Further, you can have this haunting feeling that you need to justify yourself all the time while you actually haven’t done anything wrong.
To sum it up, here are some of the most common forms and consequences of a toxic behavior that majority of people encounters in their relationships:
- Passive aggression
This often includes eye-rolling, sighing and the lack of communication that causes poisonous atmosphere.
- Negative criticism
Partner persists in mentioning your flaws and how these cannot be repaired. Well, nobody's perfect and a healthy relationship is usually based on a mutual acceptance of differences.
- Negative energy
It keeps floating in the air due to all things unspoken because the real communication is absent or extremely scarce.
- Jealousy
Jealousy is not just about being afraid that your partner will cheat on you; one partner can also be jealous of other partner’s growth and achievements. Sounds scary, but it’s more common than you think.
- Arguing with no reason
This is another sign that a healthy communication has left the building and that you should think about calling quits.
- Avoiding partner
Because you can’t even stand being in the same room with them anymore, especially if you know that it usually ends up in yelling and tears, instead of in the bedroom.
- Losing personal identity
Partners usually change in a relationship because they have different goals that require certain readjustments and compromise. Losing a personal identity of one because they always want to please other is a serious problem though.
- Recalling the beginning of relationship instead of looking to the future
It’s needless to explain this one.
Disrupted Communication and Energetic Vampirism
A good communication is a Holy Bible when it comes to relationships and we all know that sharing is caring. There is, however, this thin line between a healthy, two-way communication that is based on an equal measure of listening and speaking and an unhealthy conversation whose sole purpose is to make the other person feel better about himself/herself through manipulation and emotional blackmails.
You can easily recognize this particular pattern of behavior because your partner will often sound bittered and frustrated and won’t stop until they’ve said everything they got to your face. In addition, this can often include some unreasonable accusations and unrealistic expectations that you won’t be able to explain or fulfill. There are also some more subtle techniques whose aim to catch you in the trap where you won’t have a strength to argue but to admit that the other person is right. Either way, it will leave you completely washed and downcast.
Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? What was the most difficult about it? What helped you get out of it? You can share your experience in the comments below!
Rasel Khan is an internet entrepreneur