Grace Chatting is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships". You can find complete information on Grace Chatting and her products by visiting RelationshipAcademy.co.uk.
When one experiences pain and it is not possible for them to face the pain that they’re experiencing, they’re going to end up using a number of defence mechanisms. This could be due to how traumatising the experience is or because it would be too much for them to face how they feel.
A ... Views: 49
Certain emotions are often seen as positive and others are often seen as negative, and this can cause people to embrace some and to deny others. But regardless of the label they’re given, they all have a purpose.
What matters is: how one responds to how they feel and not how they feel. If ... Views: 39
When someone has been abused as a child they have already gone through enough, without having to prolong the pain of what happened. However, there are certain things that can add to this pain and one of these things is when one finds that the people around them don’t believe them or it could ... Views: 57
How many people do you know remain in a relationship that you know is going nowhere? One of the biggest reasons for people putting themselves in this type of situation is the fear of being single. Some people cannot fathom the thought of being alone or not having someone in their lives. Those ... Views: 48
We’re all in denial. We’d barely get through the day if we worried that we or people we love could die today. Life is unpredictable, and denial helps us cope and focus on what we must in order to survive. On the other hand, denial harms us when it causes us to ignore problems for which there are ... Views: 57
Summary: Rome is “the Mother of Abominations” including Islam. The Bible describes well the destiny of both and projects war with militant Islam and the defeat of Iran. America gets “payback” as suggested by the conquest of Babylon by the Medes and Persians (Iraq and Iran).
In his book, The ... Views: 58
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your article about RESCUING: "Avoiding the Drama Triangle". I have been rescuing my mother from the big bad wolf my father. He would beat my mother, beat me, and beat my sister. I decided to rescue her. She decided for me to rescue her from her ... Views: 111
As a Psychologist, Dr. Romance knows that when we're surrounded by images of violence, it becomes "normalized" and we stop seeing it as unusual.
Anyone who watches the news is becoming aware that we live in a violent society: According to the Peace Alliance:
• ... Views: 106
No matter what one has achieved or how old they are, they are going to times when they need another person’s guidance. And through another person’s guidance, one will learn about what they need to do in order to move forward in life or to undertake a certain task for instance.
This can take ... Views: 118
While some people will only know what it feels like to be with someone who can love them, there are going to be other people who only know what it feels like to be with someone who can’t love them. And this is going to mean that each person has a radically different experience on this ... Views: 115
Although some relationships are healthy, there are others that are completely dysfunctional. And when this is the case, they no longer have the ability to transform one’s life and to assist in their personal evolution.
That is unless one leaves the relationship and uses the experience to ... Views: 111
Intimate personal violence, which is similar to domestic violence, affects an estimated 12 million people, both men and women, per year. That is according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website, where plenty of similarly shocking statistics can be found. For instance, “more than 1 ... Views: 91
While some people feel comfortable with relationships that are healthy and functional, there are other people who feel comfortable with relationships that are unhealthy and dysfunctional.
There are going to be people who have relationships that are unhealthy and they are aware of this. And ... Views: 110
"Two things define you; your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything."
In my article on March 2, 2014 and chapter two in my book Backbone Power The Science of Saying No, I speak about the importance of being able to say No when you mean No. After listening ... Views: 96
We all have had times in our lives when we felt our partner , parent, child or friend was selfish, unsympathetic and difficult. We may even have accused them of being a narcissist. Behaving badly, lacking empathy and being selfish, though not desirable traits, does not alone define you as a ... Views: 92
While the opposite sex can do things that will cause one to feel fear and to want to keep their distance, there is also the chance that one will feel this way no matter what they do. It is then not something that depends on how another person behaves; it is something that one experiences as a ... Views: 120
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a retired police officer who found his wife sneaking around with another man 3 years ago. We have 3 kids. I cook and clean and up all night doing laundry 3 to 4 nights a week. I work two jobs to support my kids and family. I love my wife and forgave ... Views: 160
Q: My spouse and I often have arguments over the small stuff. How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering?
A: Ill bet neither of you would argue with your boss or work colleagues, or your childrens teachers the way you argue with ... Views: 125
Contrary to misinformation spread by "experts" online, covert narcissists are not cunning and manipulative. Classic narcissists are: they often disguise their true nature effectively, knowingly, and intentionally. They are persistent actors with great thespian skills. Not so the covert ... Views: 127
"You must do the things you think you can't do." Eleanor Roosevelt
There are women all over the world risking their lives to become educated. We must support them. How can we do that? We must begin to lift the veil of unconsciousness. We can't pretend the emotional/physical abuse that is ... Views: 133
When someone is abused as a child, it is highly likely that they are going to have trouble feeling safe in life. This would have been something that they first experienced when they were growing up and something that has stayed with them throughout their adult years.
So for some people, it ... Views: 112
This is the first of a series of articles about psychopaths, narcissists and other lovers and the contribution they make to Intimate Partner Violence.
Perhaps you are familiar with the story about the frog placed in a pan of cold water on a cooker with the heat turned up gradually. The ... Views: 113
"Never make yourself feel like nothing, to make someone else feel like everything!"
Rationalizing has to be prevalent when there is Domestic Abuse because how else could you convince yourself to stay. First you have to recognize that you are being emotionally, physically and or sexually ... Views: 105
How Toxic Relationships Affect PTSD
The U.S. Department of Veterans’ Affairs reports that one in five combat veterans develops Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, either during or shortly after combat. The Mayo Clinic defines PTSD as having three main categories of symptoms: ... Views: 103
I am a great fan of technology and all the ways it enhances our lives and businesses, however it gives rise to a particularly 21st Century phenomenon, Cyber-stalking.
Cyber-stalking is defined as non-consensual communication that causes fear and alarm, where some people use the internet as a ... Views: 172
From the moment someone is born, their mother has incredible power over them. She has the power to build them up or the power to tear them down. Ideally, one would have had a mother who was: loving, supportive and kind, for instance. But there are also people out there who had the complete ... Views: 192
Dear Dr. Romance:
I fell in love and married a man from another city. We have been married for three years. I livedwith his family, which included his parents and his three younger sisters, plus children. In my eastern culture, we mostly live with our inlaws. My mother in law's ... Views: 231
There are people on this planet who are experiencing relationships that are functional and healthy. This might be how it has always been, or it could be the result of them making certain changes throughout their life.
On the other side of the spectrum will be people who are currently ... Views: 218
There are many forms of bullying around today and some of these are more overt than others. At times, this is done in a way that is so subtle, that it can take place without anyone even noticing.
And while bullying has taken place for many, many years, and is nothing new, the internet has ... Views: 190
Many members of the military get to enjoy the luxury of on-base housing while in service. But when returning back to civilian life, hundreds of thousands of veterans are left homeless, but for various (and mostly preventable) reasons.
According to Military.com, “one-third of adult homeless ... Views: 168
There are some emotions that are seen as ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ and while this might be the case if they are shown in certain situations, this is not going to apply in others. Every emotion has purpose and a reason for appearing; this not to say that one should act upon every emotion that arises ... Views: 235
To be abused as a child is going to have the potential to cause all kinds of problems and these problems are unlikely to just end there. They could end up affecting this person for the rest of their adult life. And to what degree their adult life is affected will depend on many factors.
... Views: 188
When someone experiences some kind of abuse in their adult relationships, there is often the chance that they will identify with one of two outlooks. They can either see that this abuse is a reflection of what took place during their childhood or they can come to the conclusion that their ... Views: 232
Just because someone has experienced some kind of abuse or has had to endure some other kind of pain, it doesn’t mean that they have been able to move on from it. Because although one could be innocent and have nothing to do with what happened, as in the case of child abuse, it doesn’t mean that ... Views: 210
I recently had an email from one of my readers, who felt very irate about what he described as the “M” omission in my articles on abusive relationships. He went on to explain that although he agreed with WHAT I said about abusive relationships, in his view it had all been said ... Views: 208
Anger Management skills can be helpful for people ranging from the mildly miffed to the violently vengeful. You do not need to be in a physically violent relationship to benefit from understanding and learning about communicating angry and hurt feelings constructively. Secondly, if you are ... Views: 338
When it comes to what one generation passes onto the next, genetics are at the forefront. Some experts say that whatever one generation has, the next are certain to have the same. However, others, through their understanding of epigenetics, have said that their needs to be a trigger in order for ... Views: 249
While one can have grown into an adult and therefore left their childhood behind them, it doesn’t mean that they have completely moved on from those early years. Ones childhood influences them in ways that are obvious and in ways that are more or less oblivious.
It is a time that plays a ... Views: 235
Working with parents whose marriages are on the cusp of failure or already separated parents fighting it out over the care of their children is a challenging proposition for the mental health professional.
Whether acting in the role of couple therapist, mediator, assessor, arbitrator or ... Views: 120
Patients afflicted with the Factitious Disorder colloquially known as “Munchausen Syndrome” seek to attract the attention of medical personnel by feigning or by self-inflicting serious illness or injury. “Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome” (Factitious Illness or Disorder by Proxy, or Imposed by ... Views: 288
Healing Emotional Abuse and Covert Family Violence
Definition of Abuse: Anything less than nurturing is abuse.
As the description of one of Alice Miller’s foundational books states, 'Far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and ... Views: 136
There is a concept that we are all just victims of victims. This intrigues me greatly because it opens up the possibility of breaking the chain to find acceptance and forgiveness; both of which allow us to heal and move on. You will notice that I will not say it excuses abusive or detrimental ... Views: 188
I have been with my Narcissistic Partner for four years. He’s been cruel, demeaning, and lies to me left and right. I know he’s not good for me, but I keep hanging on to the nice part of him that I know exists. Aside from being emotionally abusive and irresponsible, he has a ... Views: 143
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your post on line about 5 signs he isn't over his ex, and it answered a lot of questions that I have about my ex husband. We were married for 10 years. He's violent, abusive and obsessed with me. I have dealt with him for the almost 3 years ... Views: 274
In the thirty plus years that I have been involved in working with either victims or perpetrators of domestic abuse, and the professionals involved with them, one of the most difficult decisions for the parties involved and for the professionals working with them is “Can this relationship ever ... Views: 439
Let's begin with the statistics - and they are daunting:
Approx. 1 in 4 girls & 1 in 8 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. Even the most conservative estimates put it at 1 in 6 girls & 1 in 10 boys.
It is estimated that as many as 40 million Americans - one in six people - ... Views: 232
If you have been in an abusive relationship that appears to be getting worse, then it is better to make a plan for how to get out safely while you can think straight.
Research shows that one of the times that victims of domestic abuse are most at risk is when they are leaving or have just ... Views: 302
I often see young women who are suffering from depression, as well as being unhappy (not the same thing). When we peel back the layers of their life a bit, and I ask about their relationship with their husband, often they say, “oh yes, we’re fine”, then they rattle on to ... Views: 672
“The psychological impact of subordination to coercive control may have many common features, whether that subordination occurs within the public sphere of politics or within the private sphere of sexual and domestic relations ...... the psychology of the victim is shaped by the ... Views: 348
Maricopa resident Teresa Hamilton still remembers how hopeless she felt watching her purse sink to the bottom of her family’s swimming pool.
The summer sun was bearing down, and her alcoholic and drug-addicted husband had just returned home intoxicated and looking for a fight.
Hoping to ... Views: 145