Grace Chatting is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships". You can find complete information on Grace Chatting and her products by visiting RelationshipAcademy.co.uk.
Do you know that the reason many people are addicted to toxic relationships is because they feel emotionally incomplete and empty inside? Do you know these feelings desperately drive one to look to a partner for love, validation, security, care taking, self esteem, self worth, a sense of ... Views: 31
Many individuals strive to improve their self esteem i.e. the level of appreciation and love for themselves, yet many also have a negative view of themselves. This love-hate relationship with the self is so common that many have concluded it to be a normal and even an acceptable part of the ... Views: 31
Do you know that many people are not fully mature enough to have healthy relationships? Do you know this immaturity manifests as a fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, feelings of jealousy and insecurity, controlling and manipulative behaviours, fears of commitment and intimacy, self ... Views: 32
There are many forms of bullying around today and some of these are more overt than others. At times, this is done in a way that is so subtle, that it can take place without anyone even noticing.
And while bullying has taken place for many, many years, and is nothing new, the internet has ... Views: 33
What is Co-dependence?
Well in a nutshell its when two individuals form a relationship based on the need to fulfill their mutual needs through the other person.
As you can see there was no mention of the word love in the above definition. That must tell you something about the health of ... Views: 41
Many therapists call the problem some individuals have saying no to others a "boundary issue" problem. In other words the individual has a problem protecting their own space and their energy resources.
Such individuals tend to quietly accept whatever is doled out them whether they like it or ... Views: 32
A common habit individuals find themselves caught in when in a relationship is the perpetual need to try and rescue their partner from their own self sabotaging and self destructive behaviors. Often this habit can be so strong and compelling that it actually turns into an addiction.
What is ... Views: 36
Do you know that many people are addicted to toxic relationships that involve emotional and physical abuse, infidelity, betrayal, rejection, humiliation, manipulation, control, jealousy, clingy and smothering behaviors and so on? Do you know that many of these people repeatedly make bad ... Views: 61
Do you know that many relationships are founded on co-dependent manipulative neediness that masquerades as love? Do you know that most people never realize the difference between the two? Do you know that means the majority of such relationships are therefore conflictual, abusive and bound for ... Views: 46
Do you know that one of the underlying causes of toxic relationships is the fear of abandonment? Do you know this fear causes one to become needy, controlling, manipulative, bullying, jealous, insecure, vulnerable, anxious and unattractive, to name a few, thereby making them and their ... Views: 44
Do you know that the reason many people are addicted to toxic relationships is because they feel emotionally incomplete and empty inside? Do you know these feelings desperately drive one to look to a partner for love, validation, security, care taking, self esteem, self worth, a sense of ... Views: 54
Many members of the military get to enjoy the luxury of on-base housing while in service. But when returning back to civilian life, hundreds of thousands of veterans are left homeless, but for various (and mostly preventable) reasons.
According to Military.com, “one-third of adult homeless ... Views: 38
Is it a necessary part of a healthy relationship for couples to fight with each other? Well it's so common that many of you might have concluded that every good relationship should have this as an element. What if I said that fighting actually stems from a rather unhealthy root that few ever ... Views: 78
There are some emotions that are seen as ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ and while this might be the case if they are shown in certain situations, this is not going to apply in others. Every emotion has purpose and a reason for appearing; this not to say that one should act upon every emotion that arises ... Views: 76
Do you know that one of the underlying causes of toxic relationships is the fear of abandonment? Do you know this fear causes one to become needy, controlling, manipulative, bullying, jealous, insecure, vulnerable, anxious and unattractive, to name a few, thereby making them and their ... Views: 65
Do you know that many individuals who struggle with emotional intimacy issues in relationships harbor a deep fear that they may become passive and/or dependent on their partner? Do you know that this fear serves as a huge impediment to relationship success? Do you know that there is a way to ... Views: 65
To be abused as a child is going to have the potential to cause all kinds of problems and these problems are unlikely to just end there. They could end up affecting this person for the rest of their adult life. And to what degree their adult life is affected will depend on many factors.
... Views: 65
When someone experiences some kind of abuse in their adult relationships, there is often the chance that they will identify with one of two outlooks. They can either see that this abuse is a reflection of what took place during their childhood or they can come to the conclusion that their ... Views: 75
Just because someone has experienced some kind of abuse or has had to endure some other kind of pain, it doesn’t mean that they have been able to move on from it. Because although one could be innocent and have nothing to do with what happened, as in the case of child abuse, it doesn’t mean that ... Views: 69
Do you know that co-dependent patterns mean that one is stuck in needy child like states while trying to have adult relationships? Do you know this will only lead to self sabotage and failed relationships? Do you know it's possible to permanently and completely release such unhealthy immature ... Views: 78
What is a controlling relationship?
Well it's when one or both partners attempt to get the other to meet their needs in order to help themselves feel secure.
Now this may sound a bit strange to some of you as you find yourselves scratching your heads wondering what the problem is here. ... Views: 87
If you've ever experienced some form of negative or what some refer to as abusive events in your relationships you may have, if you're older or experienced enough, also noticed that the such events have a tendency to repeat themselves. Why is this?
Well in order to understand this one must ... Views: 102
The fear of abandonment can place significant stresses on a relationship. So much so that it often leads to the very outcome that is feared. Is there some way to permanently release what amounts to early life programming so as to help restore both you and your relationship to life?
As ... Views: 59
It is all too common to blame one's partner when a relationship is going through rocky times. Have you ever stopped however and reflected on whether you yourself are carrying some form of internal negative programming that is also contributing to the problem?
When a relationship fails it has ... Views: 97
I recently had an email from one of my readers, who felt very irate about what he described as the “M” omission in my articles on abusive relationships. He went on to explain that although he agreed with WHAT I said about abusive relationships, in his view it had all been said ... Views: 83
If you are like most individuals I'm sure you've experienced some form of rejection at one time or other in your life. You may not realize it but the emotional charge associated with these memories remain stored within you along side their corresponding memories. They behave as what I call ... Views: 81
Anger Management skills can be helpful for people ranging from the mildly miffed to the violently vengeful. You do not need to be in a physically violent relationship to benefit from understanding and learning about communicating angry and hurt feelings constructively. Secondly, if you are ... Views: 138
When it comes to what one generation passes onto the next, genetics are at the forefront. Some experts say that whatever one generation has, the next are certain to have the same. However, others, through their understanding of epigenetics, have said that their needs to be a trigger in order for ... Views: 114
Do you know the main reasons individuals remain trapped in bad relationships is because they are: Afraid of being alone, Afraid they won't be able to take care of themselves and Afraid of being responsible for their own lives? Do you know that such fears leave them vulnerable to exploitation and ... Views: 129
While one can have grown into an adult and therefore left their childhood behind them, it doesn’t mean that they have completely moved on from those early years. Ones childhood influences them in ways that are obvious and in ways that are more or less oblivious.
It is a time that plays a ... Views: 124
Working with parents whose marriages are on the cusp of failure or already separated parents fighting it out over the care of their children is a challenging proposition for the mental health professional.
Whether acting in the role of couple therapist, mediator, assessor, arbitrator or ... Views: 34
Do you find yourself stuck in a bad relationship?
By bad I mean one that feels empty, where there are no feelings of intimacy or love, where there is emotional or physical abuse and so on.
One of the main reasons that individuals remain caught in such unsatisfying or abusive relationships ... Views: 123
Patients afflicted with the Factitious Disorder colloquially known as “Munchausen Syndrome” seek to attract the attention of medical personnel by feigning or by self-inflicting serious illness or injury. “Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome” (Factitious Illness or Disorder by Proxy, or Imposed by ... Views: 148
Healing Emotional Abuse and Covert Family Violence
Definition of Abuse: Anything less than nurturing is abuse.
As the description of one of Alice Miller’s foundational books states, 'Far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and ... Views: 26
Do you know that many people feel continually attracted by toxic relationships that are destructive emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically? Do you know this attraction is actually another form of addiction, much like that to food, cigarettes and drugs?
Do you know the force that ... Views: 131
Do you know that many people are addicted to toxic relationships that involve emotional and physical abuse, infidelity, betrayal, rejection, humiliation, manipulation, control, jealousy, clingy and smothering behaviors and so on?
Do you know that many of these people repeatedly make bad ... Views: 138
There is a concept that we are all just victims of victims. This intrigues me greatly because it opens up the possibility of breaking the chain to find acceptance and forgiveness; both of which allow us to heal and move on. You will notice that I will not say it excuses abusive or detrimental ... Views: 41
I have been with my Narcissistic Partner for four years. He’s been cruel, demeaning, and lies to me left and right. I know he’s not good for me, but I keep hanging on to the nice part of him that I know exists. Aside from being emotionally abusive and irresponsible, he has a ... Views: 17
Do you know many individuals find themselves so irretrievably stuck in emotionally abusive relationships that often they literally become "numb" to the toxic consequences of their situation? Do you know this "unconsciousness" is perhaps the single most important factor keeping one stuck in and ... Views: 146
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your post on line about 5 signs he isn't over his ex, and it answered a lot of questions that I have about my ex husband. We were married for 10 years. He's violent, abusive and obsessed with me. I have dealt with him for the almost 3 years ... Views: 149
Do you know that one of the underlying causes of toxic relationships is the fear of abandonment? Do you know this fear causes one to become needy, controlling, manipulative, bullying, jealous, insecure, vulnerable, anxious and unattractive, to name a few, thereby making them and their ... Views: 226
Do you know that the reason many people are addicted to toxic relationships is because they feel emotionally incomplete and empty inside? Do you know these feelings desperately drive one to look to a partner for love, validation, security, care taking, self esteem, self worth, a sense of ... Views: 217
In the thirty plus years that I have been involved in working with either victims or perpetrators of domestic abuse, and the professionals involved with them, one of the most difficult decisions for the parties involved and for the professionals working with them is “Can this relationship ever ... Views: 289
Let's begin with the statistics - and they are daunting:
Approx. 1 in 4 girls & 1 in 8 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. Even the most conservative estimates put it at 1 in 6 girls & 1 in 10 boys.
It is estimated that as many as 40 million Americans - one in six people - ... Views: 148
Addictive relationships are characterized by an inability to let go of a partner who is abusive because doing so leads to strong feelings of need and/or insecurity that cannot be tolerated. There are three important things one must do in order to free themselves from an addictive ... Views: 225
If you have been in an abusive relationship that appears to be getting worse, then it is better to make a plan for how to get out safely while you can think straight.
Research shows that one of the times that victims of domestic abuse are most at risk is when they are leaving or have just ... Views: 176
I often see young women who are suffering from depression, as well as being unhappy (not the same thing). When we peel back the layers of their life a bit, and I ask about their relationship with their husband, often they say, “oh yes, we’re fine”, then they rattle on to ... Views: 504
“The psychological impact of subordination to coercive control may have many common features, whether that subordination occurs within the public sphere of politics or within the private sphere of sexual and domestic relations ...... the psychology of the victim is shaped by the ... Views: 214
What does self pity have to do with abuse?
Well many of you may not see the direct connection unless you've been subject to a partner who has found themselves in it from time to time.
Self pity is usually resorted to when an individual feels victimized by someone or some situation. They ... Views: 189
Do you know that many relationships are founded on co-dependent manipulative neediness that masquerades as love? Do you know that most people never realize the difference between the two? Do you know that means the majority of such relationships are therefore conflictual, abusive and bound for ... Views: 201