Grace Chatting is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships". You can find complete information on Grace Chatting and her products by visiting RelationshipAcademy.co.uk.
When one experiences pain and it is not possible for them to face the pain that they’re experiencing, they’re going to end up using a number of defence mechanisms. This could be due to how traumatising the experience is or because it would be too much for them to face how they feel.
A ... Views: 34
Certain emotions are often seen as positive and others are often seen as negative, and this can cause people to embrace some and to deny others. But regardless of the label they’re given, they all have a purpose.
What matters is: how one responds to how they feel and not how they feel. If ... Views: 26
When someone has been abused as a child they have already gone through enough, without having to prolong the pain of what happened. However, there are certain things that can add to this pain and one of these things is when one finds that the people around them don’t believe them or it could ... Views: 40
How many people do you know remain in a relationship that you know is going nowhere? One of the biggest reasons for people putting themselves in this type of situation is the fear of being single. Some people cannot fathom the thought of being alone or not having someone in their lives. Those ... Views: 35
Do you know that needy behaviors are a) pre-programmed into you and b) can be permanently deleted from your subconscious mind? Do you know this deletion can leave you feeling completely and permanently confident, resilient, carefree, spontaneous, able to be your true authentic self, peaceful, ... Views: 51
We’re all in denial. We’d barely get through the day if we worried that we or people we love could die today. Life is unpredictable, and denial helps us cope and focus on what we must in order to survive. On the other hand, denial harms us when it causes us to ignore problems for which there are ... Views: 44
Summary: Rome is “the Mother of Abominations” including Islam. The Bible describes well the destiny of both and projects war with militant Islam and the defeat of Iran. America gets “payback” as suggested by the conquest of Babylon by the Medes and Persians (Iraq and Iran).
In his book, The ... Views: 45
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your article about RESCUING: "Avoiding the Drama Triangle". I have been rescuing my mother from the big bad wolf my father. He would beat my mother, beat me, and beat my sister. I decided to rescue her. She decided for me to rescue her from her ... Views: 93
As a Psychologist, Dr. Romance knows that when we're surrounded by images of violence, it becomes "normalized" and we stop seeing it as unusual.
Anyone who watches the news is becoming aware that we live in a violent society: According to the Peace Alliance:
• ... Views: 92
No matter what one has achieved or how old they are, they are going to times when they need another person’s guidance. And through another person’s guidance, one will learn about what they need to do in order to move forward in life or to undertake a certain task for instance.
This can take ... Views: 104
Do you ever feel like life is against you? Do you walk around feeling angry most of the time? Do you spend a lot of your time feeling envious of others? Do you feel cheated or that life has been unfair to you? Well if you answered yes to any of the above then you will likely agree that you feel ... Views: 81
Have you ever noticed that negative undesirable self sabotaging behaviors tend to occur often outside of your direct control in an automatic pre-programmed manner? If you are supposedly in control of your mind, your behaviors and your life this would seem to make no sense at all. The fact ... Views: 102
Do you know that many individuals make themselves martyrs and door mats because they believe deep down they'll be rewarded for doing so?
Do you know that there is no "reward" for this self destructive strategy besides death? Do you know that this tendency to submit as the punching bag of ... Views: 88
While some people will only know what it feels like to be with someone who can love them, there are going to be other people who only know what it feels like to be with someone who can’t love them. And this is going to mean that each person has a radically different experience on this ... Views: 101
Although some relationships are healthy, there are others that are completely dysfunctional. And when this is the case, they no longer have the ability to transform one’s life and to assist in their personal evolution.
That is unless one leaves the relationship and uses the experience to ... Views: 96
Intimate personal violence, which is similar to domestic violence, affects an estimated 12 million people, both men and women, per year. That is according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website, where plenty of similarly shocking statistics can be found. For instance, “more than 1 ... Views: 78
Do you know many individuals find themselves so irretrievably stuck in emotionally abusive relationships that often they literally become "numb" to the toxic consequences of their situation? Do you know this "unconsciousness" is perhaps the single most important factor keeping one stuck in and ... Views: 86
While some people feel comfortable with relationships that are healthy and functional, there are other people who feel comfortable with relationships that are unhealthy and dysfunctional.
There are going to be people who have relationships that are unhealthy and they are aware of this. And ... Views: 100
"Two things define you; your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything."
In my article on March 2, 2014 and chapter two in my book Backbone Power The Science of Saying No, I speak about the importance of being able to say No when you mean No. After listening ... Views: 89
We all have had times in our lives when we felt our partner , parent, child or friend was selfish, unsympathetic and difficult. We may even have accused them of being a narcissist. Behaving badly, lacking empathy and being selfish, though not desirable traits, does not alone define you as a ... Views: 80
While the opposite sex can do things that will cause one to feel fear and to want to keep their distance, there is also the chance that one will feel this way no matter what they do. It is then not something that depends on how another person behaves; it is something that one experiences as a ... Views: 110
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a retired police officer who found his wife sneaking around with another man 3 years ago. We have 3 kids. I cook and clean and up all night doing laundry 3 to 4 nights a week. I work two jobs to support my kids and family. I love my wife and forgave ... Views: 150
Q: My spouse and I often have arguments over the small stuff. How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering?
A: Ill bet neither of you would argue with your boss or work colleagues, or your childrens teachers the way you argue with ... Views: 112
Contrary to misinformation spread by "experts" online, covert narcissists are not cunning and manipulative. Classic narcissists are: they often disguise their true nature effectively, knowingly, and intentionally. They are persistent actors with great thespian skills. Not so the covert ... Views: 114
"You must do the things you think you can't do." Eleanor Roosevelt
There are women all over the world risking their lives to become educated. We must support them. How can we do that? We must begin to lift the veil of unconsciousness. We can't pretend the emotional/physical abuse that is ... Views: 121
When someone is abused as a child, it is highly likely that they are going to have trouble feeling safe in life. This would have been something that they first experienced when they were growing up and something that has stayed with them throughout their adult years.
So for some people, it ... Views: 98
This is the first of a series of articles about psychopaths, narcissists and other lovers and the contribution they make to Intimate Partner Violence.
Perhaps you are familiar with the story about the frog placed in a pan of cold water on a cooker with the heat turned up gradually. The ... Views: 91
"Never make yourself feel like nothing, to make someone else feel like everything!"
Rationalizing has to be prevalent when there is Domestic Abuse because how else could you convince yourself to stay. First you have to recognize that you are being emotionally, physically and or sexually ... Views: 94
How Toxic Relationships Affect PTSD
The U.S. Department of Veterans’ Affairs reports that one in five combat veterans develops Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, either during or shortly after combat. The Mayo Clinic defines PTSD as having three main categories of symptoms: ... Views: 94
I am a great fan of technology and all the ways it enhances our lives and businesses, however it gives rise to a particularly 21st Century phenomenon, Cyber-stalking.
Cyber-stalking is defined as non-consensual communication that causes fear and alarm, where some people use the internet as a ... Views: 160
From the moment someone is born, their mother has incredible power over them. She has the power to build them up or the power to tear them down. Ideally, one would have had a mother who was: loving, supportive and kind, for instance. But there are also people out there who had the complete ... Views: 179
Dear Dr. Romance:
I fell in love and married a man from another city. We have been married for three years. I livedwith his family, which included his parents and his three younger sisters, plus children. In my eastern culture, we mostly live with our inlaws. My mother in law's ... Views: 219
Do you know that low self esteem leaves you feeling like a second class citizen who must regularly submit their wishes to the whims of others? Do you know low self esteem is something that is "programmed" into you by negative memories of early childhood which continue to reside in your ... Views: 159
Do you know many individuals find themselves so irretrievably stuck in emotionally abusive relationships that often they literally become "numb" to the toxic consequences of their situation? Do you know this "unconsciousness" is perhaps the single most important factor keeping one stuck in and ... Views: 201
There are people on this planet who are experiencing relationships that are functional and healthy. This might be how it has always been, or it could be the result of them making certain changes throughout their life.
On the other side of the spectrum will be people who are currently ... Views: 209
Do you know that many people are addicted to toxic relationships that involve emotional and physical abuse, infidelity, betrayal, rejection, humiliation, manipulation, control, jealousy, clingy and smothering behaviors and so on? Do you know that many of these people repeatedly make bad ... Views: 185
Do you know that the reason many people are addicted to toxic relationships is because they feel emotionally incomplete and empty inside? Do you know these feelings desperately drive one to look to a partner for love, validation, security, care taking, self esteem, self worth, a sense of ... Views: 184
Many individuals strive to improve their self esteem i.e. the level of appreciation and love for themselves, yet many also have a negative view of themselves. This love-hate relationship with the self is so common that many have concluded it to be a normal and even an acceptable part of the ... Views: 158
Do you know that many people are not fully mature enough to have healthy relationships? Do you know this immaturity manifests as a fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, feelings of jealousy and insecurity, controlling and manipulative behaviours, fears of commitment and intimacy, self ... Views: 192
There are many forms of bullying around today and some of these are more overt than others. At times, this is done in a way that is so subtle, that it can take place without anyone even noticing.
And while bullying has taken place for many, many years, and is nothing new, the internet has ... Views: 174
What is Co-dependence?
Well in a nutshell its when two individuals form a relationship based on the need to fulfill their mutual needs through the other person.
As you can see there was no mention of the word love in the above definition. That must tell you something about the health of ... Views: 191
Many therapists call the problem some individuals have saying no to others a "boundary issue" problem. In other words the individual has a problem protecting their own space and their energy resources.
Such individuals tend to quietly accept whatever is doled out them whether they like it or ... Views: 164
A common habit individuals find themselves caught in when in a relationship is the perpetual need to try and rescue their partner from their own self sabotaging and self destructive behaviors. Often this habit can be so strong and compelling that it actually turns into an addiction.
What is ... Views: 175
Do you know that many people are addicted to toxic relationships that involve emotional and physical abuse, infidelity, betrayal, rejection, humiliation, manipulation, control, jealousy, clingy and smothering behaviors and so on? Do you know that many of these people repeatedly make bad ... Views: 188
Do you know that many relationships are founded on co-dependent manipulative neediness that masquerades as love? Do you know that most people never realize the difference between the two? Do you know that means the majority of such relationships are therefore conflictual, abusive and bound for ... Views: 186
Do you know that one of the underlying causes of toxic relationships is the fear of abandonment? Do you know this fear causes one to become needy, controlling, manipulative, bullying, jealous, insecure, vulnerable, anxious and unattractive, to name a few, thereby making them and their ... Views: 180
Do you know that the reason many people are addicted to toxic relationships is because they feel emotionally incomplete and empty inside? Do you know these feelings desperately drive one to look to a partner for love, validation, security, care taking, self esteem, self worth, a sense of ... Views: 179
Many members of the military get to enjoy the luxury of on-base housing while in service. But when returning back to civilian life, hundreds of thousands of veterans are left homeless, but for various (and mostly preventable) reasons.
According to Military.com, “one-third of adult homeless ... Views: 157
Is it a necessary part of a healthy relationship for couples to fight with each other? Well it's so common that many of you might have concluded that every good relationship should have this as an element. What if I said that fighting actually stems from a rather unhealthy root that few ever ... Views: 207
There are some emotions that are seen as ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ and while this might be the case if they are shown in certain situations, this is not going to apply in others. Every emotion has purpose and a reason for appearing; this not to say that one should act upon every emotion that arises ... Views: 220