“I’m sorry…”
While for most people these days, that sentence is as easy to say as breathing, but for cases wherein you have caused a special woman in your life grave heartache, resulting in her blocking you on social media and kicking you out of her life when your relationship is supposed to be yet in a honeymoon phase, saying you’re sorry may not be that easy to do, especially when you don’t feel sorry for whatever intimacy you both shared.
You may have assumed too much and think that what you both have is just a fling. In a worst case scenario, but also a reality these days, you may already have a girlfriend that time but just couldn’t help but be attracted to this old fling in your younger years whom you have seen again, after so many years, at a high school reunion, and you again assumed she was aware of your situation.
Caught in the moment, you’ve played with the thought of proposing to her with a gorgeous ring and even asked her how she would want the proposal to be. When she told you she would want it to be simple and just downright sincere, you should have taken the hint that she’s one you should not play with, but you just couldn’t help yourself. And now she found out from a common friend that you got a girlfriend waiting for you back home. In a moment of weakness, you tried to avoid her and when you did contact her through a drunken text message, you didn’t end it well with her and now you think you have no chance of mending whatever relationship you had.
How do you say sorry?
First things first. Be a man and own up to your mistake.
You can be defensive all you want, but the reality is, you made everything happen. You misled her by assuming too much you’re on the same boat. You weren’t honest enough to actually tell her that you already got someone in your life. You didn’t stop yourself from cheating on your girlfriend. Sure, you’re going to bear the brunt of what you did, but it’s something you should expect after making a choice to involve a third party, especially someone who had no idea that you are already committed. Don’t put the blame on the other person.
Don’t pretend it didn’t happen.
By all means, don’t do that and don’t show her that. While it’s easier for the one who is at fault to say to just forget everything, you cannot be sure it goes the same way for the person you have misled. Your insensitivity would only deepen the wound you’ve caused. There are a lot of thoughts and a lot of emotions to deal with, and a good explanation would make things easier. When asked by the other person why you did such thing, you owe her an honest answer, no matter how cold and shallow it would sound.
Actions speak louder than words.
A changed behaviour is the best apology, they say. If you are truly sorry, your sincerity is best seen by the way you act. You should by now know that there are consequences to every mistake you commit, that you could affect lives by toying with other people’s emotions. If there’s a way for you to make amends, then do so.
Lastly, apologise.
Don’t underestimate the power of words. There’s often no need for grand gestures. Your apology may the one thing she truly needs. However, apologise with humility and sincerity and avoid putting the blame on her. Be decisive that you would ask for forgiveness. There should be no second thoughts. Nothing is more powerful of an apology than to willingly approach her and politely ask for a chance to talk, to explain yourself and to ask for her forgiveness.
There are a lot of possibilities that could happen. There are different results of different cases. Whether or not what you felt for her was real, the ball is in your court to fix your ruptured relationship. If, after a lot of thinking, you’ve realised you want her back in your life but only as a friend, at least you have eased the pain of what she’s feeling even just a little bit. Winning her back may not mean you get her back as a love interest and end what you have with your girlfriend. Winning her back may mean you get to keep her as a friend, but that part depends on her, whatever step she decides to take. Now that you have sincerely apologised, you can just hope for the best and wait for her decision - on whether she decides to stay as a friend, or end your connection, but at least end it in a positive note this time. Who knows what the future holds if you two should meet again and the hurt has been healed? Maybe the situation would be favourable for the both of you by that time, or maybe not. Maybe you’d get to be good friends.
Archer Kiernan is a freelance writer touching on various topics and specialising on website content for various industries. He is also a passionate blogger and a travel junkie, believing that everywhere can be a home. For him, the world is too beautiful and there can never be enough places to explore. Life is too short so he backpacks across the world for as much as he can, not discriminating between the usual tourist spots and off-the-beaten paths, and with his trusty laptop and a cup of coffee here and there, his lives his life like an everyday adventure.