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In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusingwhere one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the ... Views: 77
We live in a world where we make our own choices that decide our future but it doesn't not always turn out the way we anticipate it. Did we do something wrong or was it someone else who prevented that dream or goal of being achieved? The fact remains we have two choices to choose from when ... Views: 51
Dear Dr. Romance: I read your newsletter "How to Heal a Rift with an Adult Child" with joy, how you simplify things for us. I already tried by email, but it got more complicated.
I received two emails, the second one, had a picture with the message ''see what you ... Views: 74
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation, or infrastructure, of clear thinking, problem solving, and mutual support. Any willing couple can learn to build a happy relationship, if they stop reacting and learn to respond thoughtfully. As an individual you have ideas and beliefs about how ... Views: 116
Dear Dr. Romance,
I love reading your articles here and on Divine Caroline, and I always look forward to the new ones. I have a long time online friend. We have been friends for about three-four years, and I even felt I was in love with him for a while - and told him so. He said he ... Views: 123
Creativity is the cornerstone of the human existence. It’s a fact that a majority of the world’s most remarkable creations were birthed by individuals with (what was considered) hair-brained ideas. Although, I believe creativity is a gift everyone has, I equally believe, most are unable to ... Views: 110
How do you stop thinking about someone? Perhaps he betrayed you, she broke up with you, or maybe it’s someone you don’t even know. He enters your mind all the time and you know it isn’t healthy. Sometimes people take up residence in our minds and it’s difficult to get rid of the thoughts. ... Views: 105
Dear Dr. Romance:
My best friend isn't talkin with me since 2 months now. I'm frustrated. We are best friends since 3 yrs now. In feb suddenly she stopped talking. We just had a small fight as in regular nothing serious. When i asked she said she doesnt want to talk anything for ... Views: 245
Resentment is like quicksand…it really sucks! It pulls us in and holds us down, and we become stuck in our own self-imposed suffering. Forgiveness offers freedom from that suffering, but getting to forgiveness can sometimes feel like an arduous odyssey. Our defensive egos hang onto wrongs with ... Views: 151
Forgiveness is logical. It isn't something that you should do. It is a practice that makes sense. When you forgive you improve your well-being and influence others to improve theirs. When you forgive you empower yourself. Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself and to the world.
To ... Views: 164
Dear Dr. Romance:
Thank you for your article on "Apology and Forgiveness". The process of forgiving is powerful and extremely helpful. I have searched for such information many years and have truly believed that forgiveness is not something you just do. ... Views: 158
“Miracles do happen,” wrote Chaim Weizman , the first President of Israel “but one has to work very hard for them.”
To grow up and out of a painful, dysfunctional past and all its leftoversfeelings, memories, pain, confusion, anger, fear, and persistent ... Views: 177
What is an affair? What constitutes cheating? Infidelity? These are very personal definitions. Most people have their own version of what constitutes what. Here is a definition I have adapted from experts in the field that works well: An affair involves one of the partner’s passion being ... Views: 198
It is very painful to experience betrayal in our relationships. I am primarily referring to betrayal by loved ones. This is the most painful betrayal. Betrayal may happen in many different forms and can be experienced by anyone at anytime during their life time
Betrayal might take place in ... Views: 190
Thirty years of marriage counseling and twenty-five years of a second marriage have convinced me that fights are not necessary in a marriage. Married couples need to have discussions, they need to solve problems, and sometimes they need to disagree, but they don’t need to squabble, argue, ... Views: 246
Do you know that a relationship breakup can damage one's self esteem and self worth to the point that it can take 3 to 5 years, or more, before the individual regains enough courage to re-enter the dating scene? Do you know this is unnecessary time wasted? Do you know that it is possible to ... Views: 270
The dog ate the cord to your laptop battery, which fortunately wasn’t plugged in at the time--who knows how many volts run through those things, your dog could have been twitching for hours--but meanwhile, you’re without your computer.
You have an important presentation at work in a couple of ... Views: 267
One of the best pieces of relationship advice I can give is to work on your relationship with yourself first and always... Your inner world dictates what happens around you and how others react to you.
The kinder your inner critic becomes, the kinder you are to your partner and everyone else ... Views: 282
Do you know that many people harbor a fear of abandonment from past breakups that makes them needy, jealous, controlling, insecure, unattractive, ultimately sabotages their relationships and leads to more feelings of abandonment? Do you know this vicious cycle can now be permanently stopped ... Views: 250
What if you made this Valentine’s Day more than a day about hearts and flowers? What if you made this Valentine’s Day about expanding your love, taking it beyond whatever wonderfulness you now experience to something even more amazing?
It’s doable, you know. And all it takes is giving your ... Views: 257
It May Be Time To Finish Unfinished Business
Embracing a Psycho-Spiritual path in order to release past wounding is the overarching premise of this article. I say that “It May Be Time” with all due respect because I don’t know where you are on your own sacred journey. Those of you who are ... Views: 314
The past is far from the ideal place to set up residence, but I've been living in it for quite a while now. The past is a familiar neighborhood, and I am afraid it might be hard to leave, but leave it I must if I want to start actually living before an alarming death rattle comes up through my ... Views: 373
Do you know that failed relationships are invariably the result of old emotional baggage stored in the subconscious mind and associated with negative beliefs/feelings such as: the fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, low self worth, low self confidence, I'm unlovable, I'm inadequate, I'm needy, ... Views: 297
Forgiveness Strengthens The Capacity To Choose
The beauty of the New Year is already upon us! It ‘s the perfect time for personal reflection on the year’s ups and downs along with it’s challenges and triumphs. It’s an opportunity to affirm what went well and feel grateful for that. Perhaps ... Views: 328
Almost everybody has at least one past relationship that they can't seem to let go of. There's always that one love that left under unpleasant circumstances, that one person whom you still long for. While these feelings are by no means uncommon, they can have some very adverse effects on other ... Views: 301
Do you know that all relationship conflict arises because old emotional "buttons" are re-triggered which sets off an "emotional storm" rooted in earlier negative relationship experiences of abuse, humiliation, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, etc. stored as negative memories in the subconscious ... Views: 320
There are many "heroic" tales about individuals, who after having been victimized, turned to revenge to right the wrong. In our society such acts are revered and the individuals who undertake them are considered heroes. I would like to suggest however that an individual who needs to get revenge ... Views: 274
Sometimes it seems impossible to shake a feeling. Perhaps, it’s a feeling of dread or something missing, which makes us feel off-balance or slightly funky. We may look outside of us for the answer.
The answer is actually within us, which should be a relief. Either our emotional state is ... Views: 236
Let's face it, infidelity causes deep personal pain, but your spouse's affair doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage.
In fact, I hope the information I share with you here will help you save your marriage and help you rebuild the trust you need to fully recover from this painful ... Views: 321
Spiritual acceptance comes about in as many different forms as there are people who experience it. There is no one way that it comes about. But, generally, the experience is sudden or gradual.
First, let’s clarify the difference between acceptance and spiritual acceptance.
Sportscaster ... Views: 127
After one has been cheated on by their partner it is essentially impossible to return to a state where one can openly and genuinely love again. The pain shuts down the Heart and along with it goes one's experience of loving feelings as well. Is there a way to go beyond the anger and resentment ... Views: 367
Do you know that feelings of betrayal stemming from an unforeseen affair by your partner can not only lead to the end of your relationship but "also" to the end of your relationship life?
Do you realize that such an event, which is often traumatizing can leave such a deep scar of betrayal, ... Views: 316
When we are in the non-physical (spiritual realm) we are totally aligned with the pure and true energetic vibration that can only bring pure joy. I find it interesting that our spirits choose to come into the physical form full well knowing that we will begin to be influenced by our ... Views: 155
Birth: July 18, 1918 at 2:54pm (not documented but best time available) in Umtata, South Africa
South Africa The Good News / www.sagoodnews.co.za [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
Mandela was a lifetime activist for the establishment of a fair and non-racial ... Views: 525
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your article "Attitude Adjustment" and some of the things you said really resonated. In recent years, I have found myself developing more and more resentment toward my wife (who thinks very differently than I do). I want to dissolve ... Views: 423
Maricopa resident Teresa Hamilton still remembers how hopeless she felt watching her purse sink to the bottom of her family’s swimming pool.
The summer sun was bearing down, and her alcoholic and drug-addicted husband had just returned home intoxicated and looking for a fight.
Hoping to ... Views: 121
Believe it or not, a ‘happy ever after’ is possible! Despite the high rate of separations and divorces these days, you really do have a fighting chance at having the fairy tale ending. The good news is your relationship does not have to be perfect for it to work. The bad news is that when the ... Views: 131
Good morning my friends….
Here we are ready to face another day of giving and making a difference. We started our day very early this morning. I’m not sure why we all woke up so early but I have great expectations for this day. Let’s get started –
It’s been put on my heart to speak ... Views: 125
Acquired Situational Narcissism can be induced in adulthood by celebrity, wealth, and fame. But, it may also occur in a variety of other situations. Codependents, aiming to fend off gnawing abandonment anxiety, can resort to and evolve narcissistic and even psychopathic behaviours and traits in ... Views: 290
FORGIVE | FORGIVING | FORGIVENESS
Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, who's sins are covered.
Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity and whose spirit there is no deceit.
Forgiveness - a big word with lots of meaning, but for many people - not ... Views: 289
Breakups… heartbreak… we’ve all been there before, and it’s one of the most painful things in life.
Sometimes, though, relationships can end prematurely. Whether it’s because one person simply wasn’t ready to commit, or because some external factor -- a job offer, a few years at a faraway ... Views: 160
You're divorced, but you still see your ex. How do you handle it? Here are three tips to help.
1. Treat your ex as politely as you treat your friends or co-workers.
Don’t be as familiar as you used to be. A little less familiarity will generate a little more respect. Say “Hello”, ... Views: 488
You made up. The argument is long over; life with your sweetheart is back to normal. Except for that little nagging thought that keeps running through your brain, with the determined persistence of a hamster on a treadmill: “How could he/she do that? How could he/she say that about me in front ... Views: 321
WANT A GREAT LOVE RELATIONSHIP? FORGIVE.
People often will ask me how to create a lasting, loving relationship. They want to know how to find one or how to keep one. Maybe they have loved and lost, maybe they have loved and left. Either way, people are looking to find a romance that makes ... Views: 344
It is imperative to realize and live in the gift of the present moment if you wish to create the life you desire. Living in the NOW requires letting go of two things; one is the past that keeps you tethered via your unreleased emotions to people, places, things and experiences you have no ... Views: 277
[update: 12/2013 - more school shootings have occurred, making this inspiring story just as relevant now as it was a few months ago]
A twenty year old man, Michael Douglas Hill, entered a Georgia school (8/20/13), ready to kill himself and to shoot innocent children. A woman at the school, ... Views: 415
Recently, some friends are hanging around confiding to me issues about break ups, make ups, and some were asking if their relationship is worth pursuing. I came to a point doubting myself if I were in the position to handle their ques and give them advise since I had just gone through a major ... Views: 580
“LOVE AFTER LOVE
The time will come when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back ... Views: 397
It's never easy to be "dumped" by someone you love, especially if the relationship has been going on for a long time. Sure, you find yourself wondering when will the pain end and wishing everyday for your ex to realize that the relationship's worth another try. And I'm sure every single day, you ... Views: 434