Going through a divorce is devastating. You not only lose the marriage and break up your family; you also lose all the hopes and dreams you had for happiness here. Dr. Romance helps you to pick yourself up from the rubble and move on emotionally.
Dr Romance's 5 tips to moving on emotionally after divorce
1. If you gave it your best shot, and you know it's over, don't waste time in resentment and anger, it's self-destructive. Let go. Do your grieving, cry, journal, and talk about alone, or with a trusted friend. Have a "letting go" ceremony with close friends, and say goodbye to your married life. Put reminders away for a while.
2. Don't hesitate to get therapy to help you through this transition, so you can grieve what's lost (even if you're the one who left, you've lost your hopes and dreams for this marriage) and move your focus on to building a good life in your new circumstance. A professional viewpoint will help you move from past to present, and plan for the future.
3. Take care of yourself financially -- a good lawyer can help you fight for your rights. You'll feel a lot less resentment if you get your fair share of the assets.
4. This is an important time to have your friends or family around you, you need support. Don't isolate. You don't have to go right out and date again (go slow with that) but you should have a
social life with friends and family. Even if you don't think you feel ready to see people, see your closest friends and spend time with them. They'll help you heal, and remind you that you still
have people who love you. Spend a lot of time with people you trust.
5. Focus on building your life. This is a great time to try something other than a relationship --
take a class, start a new business or career, get a puppy. Give yourself plenty of time to heal
before taking another chance on love.
For more help with moving on, read Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today
For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.