Married couples, especially if they have kids, hope to stay happily married ‘till the end. However, sometimes love fades away and numerous problems take the spotlight. Even though spouses can work on the problems, sometimes the divorce or separation are better options instead of constantly arguing and creating unpleasant home atmosphere.
Honestly, nothing about the divorce is easy. But one of the hardest parts is explaining it to your children. The way they take it mostly depends on the way you talk to them about your separation. Make sure to come forward with concrete strategy and plan.
Depending on their age, most kids are very sensitive. This means that some control their emotions better than the others, which is normal to an extent. Naturally, as their parent, you wouldn’t want them to be upset or have a huge emotional reaction. However, you’ll need to tell them about the divorce at some point or another, so pick the right timing.
Obviously, there is no “perfect” timing to explain the divorce your kids. Before you decide it’s “the time”, make sure the decision is final. Uncertain circumstances may have a bad effect on children's mental health. That's why having plenty of time with your kids after you tell them about your decision is essential. Don't take them to a birthday party or sports training after you break the news. Instead, show them that they are still loved and give them time to process their emotions.
Nobody likes hearing bad news, especially if they are related to the people we love and adore. Keeping in mind how fragile children’s emotions are especially when it comes to their parents, telling your kids about the divorce may be stressful for you and them. Even though you may have some negative emotions about your soon-to-be ex-spouse, it would be ideal if you could agree on how to approach your kids with that topic.
If you’re uncertain how to break the bad news to your kid, the best thing you can do is tell them together. This will minimise the confusion, and demonstrate that it was a mutual decision. The most important thing is NOT to blame the other side. Kids still need both parents, so keep your talk on the neutral grounds. Additionally, try to communicate as simple as possible so your children can understand what’s going on. Don’t forget to take into consideration children’s emotional maturity and age. In the end, remind them that you both love them and leave room for some questions.
Hearing that your parents are getting separated is never pleasant no matter how old or young you are. Once you’ve told your children the bad news, encourage them to share how they feel and work out those emotions. Remind them that it’s okay to feel sad or angry and have a lot of questions. It’s essential to listen to them carefully.
Besides that, tell them that you're aware that the divorce is an enormous transition, however, assure them that nothing is going to change, that they still have love from both parents and that both of you are still going to take care of them.
Even though divorce is a stressful period for the whole family, there is no going back. It's essential to tell your kids that being separated is for the best and that divorces are sometimes a normal component of life. If you're having a hard time explaining the divorce to your children, seek professional help.
Everywhere in the world, there are institutions that take care of family law problems. So, in Australia, if you need expert advice don't hesitate to contact the family court in Sydney. Their experienced lawyers will provide you with personalised service, help you deal with divorce and minimise its impact on your and your children’s’ lives.
In the process of divorce, people are sometimes overly occupied with the outcome that they forget to look out for the signs of children's unusual behaviour. Even though the child might not verbally say that he or she is having a hard time adjusting to the new situation, they will certainly show it in their behaviour. Strange behaviour can be manifested as insecurity, regression, frequent crying, loss of appetite, poor sleeping, anger, attention-seeking behaviours or even depression.
So, even though you're busy with divorce paperwork, don't forget to look out for your kids’ mental health. There will be good and bad days, and you might experience these changes as well. The important thing is to be there for your children and surround yourself with a strong support system of friends and family.
Divorce is a stressful period for the whole family. Nobody likes to go through a series of unpleasant and negative emotions. However, it’s important to take care of kids’ mental health and be gentle while breaking the news. Sooner or later they will start asking questions, so find the right timing to explain divorce to them age-appropriately. Don’t forget to remind them that both parents still love them very much and that nothing is going to change that.
Alexis is a Sydney-based part-time writer and a full-time mom of two. Her words carry the richness of her travelling and parenting adventures, offer advice and inspiration to those who desire to improve their lives. Outside of the office, she takes pleasure in spending precious time with her youngsters and absorbing the happiness they constantly radiate.