Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm a single mother suffering in depression and stress.
I met my ex husband online, we fall in love and got married. He was a Middle Eastern guy. We had a daughter, the marriage didn't last long and we got a divorce. I was aggressive, I used to break things, yell at him and asked for a divorce in anger. He was too much into his friends and work. He had no time for our daughter or me, and we were living in another country where I had no family or friends. I used to fight him to come to my home country at least 2 times a yr, but he didn't like it. Last time I went home to finish my graduation exams, he divorced me by email a few years ago, even though I begged him not to.
My daughter is almost school age. she lives with me, I am back in school to have a better future but I have a lot of anger. I feel like I was ditched and thrown forcefully. My stress increases when I hear his voice when he calls to talk to my daughter, and I hear him saying he hopes to marry someone else, and that I didn't truly love him and I left him. I feel angry when my daughter asks him why he doesn't live with us. I still have feelings for him but i know he doesn't care. When try to date another man, after few days i compare him to my ex, and end it. I want to be happy. Please help me.
Dear Reader:
You are a mom now, it's time to grow up and stop throwing temper tantrums. It sounds like you're not mature enough to have a healthy relationship, and you don't have a good role model for what a healthy relationship looks like. "10 Reasons for Not Falling in Love" will explain why you're pushing men away. "Anger Management" will help you understand and express your anger in a more effective way. "What is a Dysfunctional Relationship" will show you what's wrong with your relationship model, and "When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships" outlines a new model for love. Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today
contains information and exercises that will help you learn the skills you need to make a marriage work.
For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.