Are you at a loss about what to give your wife for Valentines Day? What can you give your man that will make a big impact on him? The answers lie in understanding what your spouse really wants and needs from you. Let me give you some ideas.
We all have common human needs but our priorities are different. What communicates “I love you” varies from person to person and is often different for each gender. The key is giving not as you would like to receive, but giving as the one you love likes to receive. That requires paying attention.
Men; what your wife wants from you is not so much about presents as it is about your PRESENCE. There is no substitute for time spent together, giving her your full attention. When you listen, try to reach down inside and hear her deepest needs. She wants you to be strong enough to stand and receive whatever she is expressing. If it is pain or anger, refuse to get defensive or shut down. If it is tenderness and love, drink it in and let her know how good it is. When she feels safe, honored, and treasured then you will capture her heart all over again. She wants to be vulnerable and open to you. Help her by creating the conditions for love. I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy roses or jewelry, but those will mean much more if you make her feel like a queen.
Women; what your husband wants from you is your RADIENCE. He needs to know that he is a success at making you happy. If he believes he is failing at making you happy he will soon get discouraged and quit trying. There is nothing better to the man that loves you than seeing that he makes you glow. He needs you to show him directly, not leave clues and expect him to get it, because he likely won’t. When he comes home, greet him with a smile. Tell him when you appreciate what he does for you. Show him your love by giving yourself and your admiration to him. Make him your hero and you will own his heart.
Of course the romance will be lost if you only think about it once a year. Communicating love and respect in your marriage needs to be consistent if you want your partner to feel it and believe it. Don’t wait for your partner to change or until you get what you want. Love calls for you to love. Now is the perfect time.
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