Mother's Day carries a lot of emotional significance for most grievers. Whatever one's relationship with Mother, this person is our first connection here on the Earth plane.
This connection may have lasted a lifetime or it may have ended on the day of birth with adoption, or any number other life circumstances.
There are some grievers who have lost both parents very recently. Other grievers have lost a parent and a spouse within months of each other. Others grieve the loss of relationship with a mother who is still alive but not really part of their life for whatever reason. Ad then there are those who have a close relationship with their mother but are perhaps grieving another loss.
Whatever one's circumstance, Mother's Day seems to carry an emotional charge for most people. And for those who are grieving the loss of their mother, the feelings surrounding this day can become quite intense.
Consider what significance this day has for you this year. Do you wish it could be a Hallmark moment when in reality your mother is not even physically part of your life?
What can you do for yourself when you see all those flower and card commercials?
What are your options? Do you have choices? It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of special days. It is easy to become immersed in what "could" have been rather than what is your present reality.
Perhaps you are really not happy with your present reality. Perhaps what "was" is what you really want.
If what "was" is really not possible for you in the present moment, consider what is possible.
Can those feelings of sadness, anger, indifference, to name a few, be truly acknowledged without letting them consume you?
Can Mother's Day be transformed into a day that is truly meaningful for you? This might mean some radical thought shifts. Your mind might scream at you that you "must" be sad because your mom is not around anymore for whatever reason.
Can you honor the deeper reality of connection with this person who gave birth to you, whatever happened after that?
I know there are some who have been adopted and others perhaps raised in foster homes or by other family members.
I believe the primal bond which connected us originally with our earth home, is truly the underlying significance of our need to honor mothers.
Honoring those who nurtured us provides the opportunity to open up to that nurturing capacity which lives inside of us all. Perhaps Mother's Day is really an opportunity to honor this innate nurturing connection that we share with all those who call this planet their home.
Sandy Clendenen is the author of Move Beyond Grief Journal, an interactive journalling process for grievers. She is nearing completion of another book which grievers can use as a beginning guide for the grief journey. And her memoir, "He's Gone, Now What? One Widow's Journey from Lost to Found" will be available soon.
You can find her book at: www.movebeyondgriefjournal.com
She also has a popular blog: www.movebeyondgriefjournl.blogspot.com