One of the most devastating betrayals for a woman is to find out that the man she is dating is a married man. The betrayal goes deeper than a break up. There is rarely, if ever, a chance to confront the man. The relationship will break up just as it is ready to move to the next step. In fact, in many situations the man will just disappear after a very romantic or meaningful event.
• Not pushing to see you
• Text only
• Won’t accept calls - Gets upset if you leave a message on his phone
• Pushes for sex
• No interest in the little things in your life – doesn’t want details
• Too busy to date
• He has an amazing job – something heroic – but you have no real proof.
• He will not take you home
• He does not give you his home phone number, only a cell
• He will not pay with a debit or credit card. He doesn’t save receipts.
• He deletes txts as soon as you send them and he gets upset if you leave messages on his phone.
• He is ambiguous about details such as where he works.
• His life is amazing – almost too good to be true. But his stories don’t have depth to them. He doesn’t want to talk about himself; he only wants to talk about you.
• There are only certain times he talks to you. If you phone outside of this time there is always a reason he needs to hang up.
• There is always a ‘good’ reason why he can’t take you to his house.
• His x has always had some serious issues that make you feel sorry for him and which are so painful you don’t talk about it.
• He is very secretive and private. The tall & silent type can be a dead give away.
• He isn’t into details – because you can use them to catch him in a lie.
• He transfers his behaviour onto you. Do you cheat? Are you scheming? Is everything you told him the truth?
• He is working two jobs or has a reason why he can’t see you. He isn’t spontaneous. You can’t just ‘meet’ on the spur of the moment.
• There are topics or things you say that he physically recoils from.
• He praises you for respecting his boundaries. He affirms that he is pleased that you understand that he can’t talk to you or that you don’t phone.
How to Catch Him
It is fairly easy to catch him. Just give a man 2 or 3 weeks before you start looking for these telltale signs. You should already be feeling that something is wrong. Even if you are desperate and lonely, you will feel shy or hesitant around him. You will feel that he is pushing for an intimate relationship before you are ready – but the relationship is not advancing toward commitment.
If there are a few of these signs and you are concerned then test some of the out. Don’t be afraid that he will be angry with you. A normal man will not get angry if you leave a cell phone message or call him at the dinner hour. He will respond to your texts with more than one or two words in the daytime.
One sure way is to limit or put off making the relationship intimate. A married man is looking for a mistress. He doesn’t want a friend or to invest time in building a relationship. If you will not have sex with him then he has no reason to continue the relationship.
Suzanne James has 10 years experience as an online life coach and using the telephone to and Skype. She has experience helping clients reset their core values, make changes in their communication and relationship styles, and take back control of their lives. There is a wealth of information on her website: http://www.suzannejames.com