1) Money makes you more of who you are: meaning, whatever your money issues or beliefs are, you bring them with you into your relationships. It’s almost always the case that whatever values and beliefs you have about money, you will die with—unless you’re willing to do the work and get to the root of them and make some changes! You can start by not pointing the finger at your partner, and taking a look at what your bottom line is about finances. Do you believe that there is enough money for everyone on the planet? Do you believe it’s your partner’s job to manage or make all the money? Do you believe life is hard and then you die? That it’s easier being a man…or a woman? That rich politicians make it impossible to get ahead? That rich people are evil, that you’re just not good with money, etc. You really deserve to take a good look, otherwise you and your partner are doomed to repeat your unconscious material in the relationship! Don’t bother lying to yourself; the proof is in the pudding. I mean that until you get real, you and your relationships will always reflect your true inner values and beliefs. Sex and money cause the most overall stress in relationships. This week’s blog is going to cover some basics about money and relationship and what you can do to manage your stress about it. Once you identify those, you can do something about them!
2) Lay it on the line: Most of us are afraid to look at the facts about our money situation. We don’t want to know what the bottom line really is, so we stay in denial and bumble along hoping things will change. The truth is, they won’t unless you change them! I say YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH and need to look at it. Take back your power: pull your credit report, make a list of how much money you have in the bank, how many credit cards you have, and what you owe. Spell it all out. No one is coming to rescue you but you, so suck it up, take a deep breath and look at it. Then (here’s the great part) you can choose what you want and what you’re willing to do to make that happen! We all know now that energy flows, so make an investment in getting the facts on your financial pulse.
3) Get on the same team: If you are in a relationship, fighting about money is pointless, whereas negotiating about it isn’t. Take the opportunity in this economy to get clear whose team you are on and what your goals are together. When you and your partner are on the same page there is nothing you cannot do, but if you’re constantly at odds I guarantee it will cost ya!
4) Be adventuresome and creative: Everyone is affected by the stress of survival on some level, and unless you want to be a perpetual stress victim you’re going to have to change your attitudes. You can start by seeing the world of finance and money as a game, and one you can both win. Get out there and see what you can do, and stop wasting time fighting about what you can’t. Find ways to achieve your goals together and it will bring you closer in the end.
5) Map out your next 5 years. My husband and I love this because first we look at what happened the previous five years; what worked, what didn’t, etc. Then we sit with paper and crayons and a tape recorder and off we go. What do WE want! And then we create the map on how to get there.
6) RITUAL ROCKS! Another thing I highly recommend is ritual in relationship. My husband and I sit together regularly and pull our Divination cards to get clarity on our work or issues at hand (go to www.freebeginwithin.com for a free reading). We also set new moon intentions throughout the year: on the new moon we write out our intentions for that month and it really creates a sense of unity and shared vision.
7) Everyone’s in the same boat: Try not watching so much TV and letting the images brainwash you into thinking everyone’s is rich and perfect EXCEPT you! It’s just HOGWASH! And, incidentally, not real or the truth about what’s happening on the planet right now. WE are all trying to make ends meet and ultimately THRIVE, and so often the media unconsciously undermines our efforts. Don’t waste time feeling like you are the only ones because you are not: take the three hours a day you spend in front of the idiot box and invest them into your relationship, yourself and your dreams!
8) Gratitude as the portal: By the way, the average person on the planet makes a whopping three dollars a day, so let’s start with some gratitude...it’s a fabulous portal when times are tough. Plus, it’s an instant way to feel great about the gift of simply breathing in and out and being alive. Make a list of everything you are grateful for right now, and watch your life change as a result!
May 12, 2011
Maryanne Comaroto is one of America’s leading relationship experts. Maryanne is an award-winning author, coach, seminar leader, radio personality and frequent guest on TV and radio talk shows around the country. Her three weekly radio shows on www.healthylife.net , Maryanne Live!, Power of We with her husband David Raynal, and Heart Talk with co-hosts Kris Carlson and Eve Hogan, reach millions of listeners monthly worldwide.
Through her books, radio show, and media appearances, Maryanne provides a powerful and positive blueprint for creating healthy, fulfilling and sustainable relationships. Her unique approach starts with developing personal insight; “Great relationships begin within!®”
Maryanne is the relationship columnist for The Beverly Hills Times, and a go-to expert for Hollywood Life, In Touch Online, and many other online publications. Her blogs on such websites as She Knows and The Savvy Woman are read by thousands of readers worldwide.
Maryanne is the author of the award-winning book, Skinny, Tan and Rich: Unveiling the Myth. Her newest book is Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers! She is a great storyteller, translating life’s complexities into practical tools for creating healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationships.
Maryanne coaches, lectures and conducts transformational workshops, awarding the Certificate of Responsible Relationship (CORR®). She founded SHOMI, LLC, a personal development corporation, in 1998, and is director and founder of the National Action Organization, a 501(c)3 non-profit committed to changing the way our culture values women. Check them out at www.naction.org .