While each gender has the same value, it doesn’t mean that everyone feels this way. One can believe that men/women are worth more and this is then going to cause them to feel less than the opposite sex.
This could stop one from being able to have an intimate relationship on one side and on ... Views: 2
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am mid-thirties mom with 3 children looking to divorce. I read your article "Family Violence Q & A" and I decided to write to you for help to stand on my feet again. I was a homemaker since I had my first child, but had lived very unfulfilled ... Views: 21
THREE GOOD RELATIONSHIPS TO HAVE
“We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it ... Views: 21
What is emotional intimacy? Well simply it is the ability to share your true and authentic self with your partner or lover in a way that enriches the relationship as well as your experience of being alive. Many feel this capacity to be known to another is one of the most powerful aspects of ... Views: 11
Fighting a lot? Dr. Romance recommends:
No matter what you’re fighting about: money, sex, kids or something else, the fighting is an indication that your communication isn’t working. If this happens only occasionally, such as when one or both of you are tired or stressed; it’s not too big ... Views: 33
Are you coming off a bad relationship? Are you still feeling the emotional wounds from your ex? Do you have old deeply buried wounds from previously failed relationships? Well if you've answered yes to any one of these then I can guarantee that these scars will, whether you like it or not, ... Views: 16
When you use smart decisions and self-awareness to shape your life, it will reflect your deepest aspirations and your fondest dreams.
1. Make your life your own. Decide to re-decide. Re-examine your goals and dreams. Don't just assume that what you wanted yesterday is ... Views: 24
Dear Dr. Romance:
I stumbled upon your article "Don't Make The Same Mistake Twice" while I was searching for advice on dating a divorcee. I can't help but wonder what advice you would give to a girl who has never been married who is currently seeing a divorcee. I ... Views: 25
It is a challenge for some people to put their needs first and this is going to mean that they have a pattern of putting the needs of others first. This may mean that one takes care of their needs after, but it could also mean that one’s needs are not met.
And while being selfless is often ... Views: 20
There can be times when ones relationships are free from problems and then there can be moments when this is not the case. One could also be in a position where this is the only thing they know and they have never experienced relationships that have flowed.
Conflict is then ... Views: 21
Why do most relationships fail? Is it because of a fear of commitment, a fear of being honest, a fear of intimacy, the result of co-dependent neediness, etc.? Well would you be surprised that many of these are only the surface veneer to a much deeper problem that each individual presents with ... Views: 32
Dear Dr. Romance:
My husband and I have been married for over thirty years. Our children are grown. We own our home , but have a mortgage. Throughout the years, there has been financial infidelity: When we got married, my husband was evading bills from retail stores. I ... Views: 53
Does the fear of making a mistake immobilize you when you need to make a decision?
Do you ever have trouble making decisions? Which rug to buy for your floor? Which couch to choose? What color to paint your walls? What you feel like doing on your days off? What kind of work you ... Views: 34
Solstice is the day near year end when the sun is furthest away from the Earth, and immediately begins to come closer again. Solstice marks a celestial turning point, and it’s no coincidence that we celebrate the end of the old year, and begin a new year of birth and renewal at this time. ... Views: 49
In a previous article “From Struggling to Solving” I discussed how to get from arguing to solving problems. Getting into the right frame of mind is a great start, but many of my clients also need steps for how to solve problems. Here are three of my most effective ... Views: 33
Do you know that old negative memories of failure that are stored deep in your subconscious mind are the single most destructive force keeping you from a life of success, abundance, fulfillment and happiness?
Do you know such negative memories are responsible for negative thoughts, feelings ... Views: 31
How often have you shared your feelings and the other person became angry and defensive?
How often have you heard that it's good to "share your feelings"? How often have you shared your feelings and it backfired on you? Perhaps you find yourself saying "But I'm just ... Views: 30
In todays modern lifestyle, everyone is stressed up, tired and bore, especially the parents. In most of the parts of the world, parents are usually engaged in earnings and greatly tired when back home. Even if one of the parents is not working hand, he or she must be doing house chores and at ... Views: 32
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Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage?
Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did.
Consider these ... Views: 70
In romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real incarnation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid’s ... Views: 66
There are people I love who are easy to be around, and others I love who are more difficult for me. It’s not that they’re bad people, others get along with them fine, and, actually, so do I. It’s just that I have to work a little bit more to understand what they mean, to ... Views: 73
Jealousy can be one of the most and disruptive and harmful of emotions. Often jealousy in relationships is directed at the present or the future. It is rooted in a fear of future loss - fear that one may lose their partner to something that is happening currently, or might happen in the ... Views: 57
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm a 70-yr old man who has been married more than forty years. I read your article "Autonomy and Dependency" I feel like I've been in a codependency relationship the last fifteen years and havedeveloped anxiety & depression. My wife is a ... Views: 70
I was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a box about work. The box ... Views: 92
How would our country change if politicians had to learn to love themselves and others before taking office?
What if politicians had to be mentally evaluated before running for office? How many of them would pass as being emotionally stable and healthy?
What difference might it make ... Views: 43
Dear Dr. Romance:My partner whom I have been in a relationship with for the past year has changed and let me down twice. We were first friends for several years & became a couple for the last year. We both fell in love instantly and desire to live together to build towards a good ... Views: 67
It’s not uncommon to hear that women want to settle down and that men want to ‘play the field’. And based on this, women want to be in a relationship and men are not bothered about being in one.
This is how men and women are generally portrayed and in some cases, this is going to be true. ... Views: 94
Dr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or ... Views: 75
We are all in a time of high stress, and
national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not
dealt with, they can lead to acting out behavior,
such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money
problems as a distraction. To avoid ... Views: 56
Dear Dr. Romance:
My last romantic relationship (that I thought was mutual) ended because she said one day out of the blue, "I don't love you any more." I think she never really did, but rather I was her crutch after her lastbreakup. I loved her wholly, with all my ... Views: 73
When one experiences pain and it is not possible for them to face the pain that they’re experiencing, they’re going to end up using a number of defence mechanisms. This could be due to how traumatising the experience is or because it would be too much for them to face how they feel.
A ... Views: 54
Just because one has the need to experience something, it doesn’t always mean that this need will be fulfilled. And this is something that can be said when it comes to ones need to connect to another person.
For some people, intimacy is going to be something that they have always ... Views: 58
Discover why any kind of engaging when someone is angry is a waste of energy.
"Rage can…shut off the hippocampus [linked to memory], and people with out-of-control anger may not be lying when they say they don't recall what they said or did in that altered state of ... Views: 44
Do you allow your natural kindness to shine forth?
"Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we ... Views: 36
You are correct if you say we communicate using words- partially though! We also employ voice tone, gestures and body language, emotional state, clothing, the physical location (aka time/place setting) we occupy, and more; this is, in addition to the words we use. Even the lack of communicating ... Views: 49
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm really confused about a guy I know online from a social site, he's ten years older than I am. We've been in contact for several months. We now live in different countries. Recently, our chatting got intense and he told me that he likes me. ... Views: 104
I was recently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, and remembering my dear friend who used to meet me there and who died not long ago. As I get older, I’m experiencing more and more loss, and so are my friends of a similar age. Those of us who survive loss still have to “keep calm ... Views: 118
When it comes to pleasing others, ideally, this will be a choice and not something one feels they have no control over. If one feels that they always need to please others, it is going to interfere with their ability to listen to their own needs and emotions.
And when one feels the need to ... Views: 109
In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusingwhere one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the ... Views: 108
Do you have the expectation that you will receive unconditional love from a partner?
Most of us would love the experience of being loved unconditionally by someone. This is the experience we needed when we were growing up, but most parents are not connected enough with themselves and ... Views: 42
There is a genius to courageous loving because we have to access something we've forgotten and make it a real part of our lives again. It exists in each and every one of us yet it takes courage to access it. We can only access it when we become aware and we are ready for it.
I believe, we are ... Views: 85
Dear Dr. Romance:
I do not like my job, I have two more classes before I complete my masters in HR to move to a better position and recently passed the PHR certification. I was talking with my boyfriend about the environment at the company and how they are always threatening ... Views: 111
Everyone at some point in their lives has experienced a break up or two. Some of those breakups were on good terms others were not. For whatever reason a trust issue develops with one or both of the individuals. This trust issue tends to carry over into the next relationship. That is the reason ... Views: 90
We live in a world where we make our own choices that decide our future but it doesn't not always turn out the way we anticipate it. Did we do something wrong or was it someone else who prevented that dream or goal of being achieved? The fact remains we have two choices to choose from when ... Views: 90
How many people do you know remain in a relationship that you know is going nowhere? One of the biggest reasons for people putting themselves in this type of situation is the fear of being single. Some people cannot fathom the thought of being alone or not having someone in their lives. Those ... Views: 53
Technology can have a big impact on relationships. In my counseling office, I see many couples who are struggling over Internet and social media issues. The ability to work at home via computer and smart phone can mean arguing about how work spills over and absorbs relationship time. Secrets ... Views: 109
Dear Dr. Romance
I am mindful that I am allowing my soon to be controlling, narcissist ex ( civil law attorney) to run circles around me, just as we did when we were married. After attending a divorce group session at my local church, they recommend that I set up some specific boundaries ... Views: 129
We are educated, informed, smart and vigilant. Even then we make wrong choices, wrong decisions, keep guilts and miseries. In one way or the other we suffer from our own misjudgments and misperceptions. We cannot control our mistakes from being happen and cannot save ourselves from being ... Views: 47
If you've been in one or are in one right now, you will know that it’s not always easy and euphoric 24/7. A solid relationship takes a lot of WORK and it takes two. See if you and your lover can past this test!
Own Your Power,
RELATIONSHIP BASICS 101
Couples often lose track of ... Views: 98
Your pet knows the truth of who you are!
Many of us know how unconditionally loving most dogs naturally are – unless they have been abused. Even if you don't have a dog, you've likely seen the joy they express when their person comes home after being gone for even a few minutes.
If ... Views: 79