Jealousy can be one of the most and disruptive and harmful of emotions. Often jealousy in relationships is directed at the present or the future. It is rooted in a fear of future loss - fear that one may lose their partner to something that is happening currently, or might happen in the ... Views: 9
Do you know that all relationship conflict arises because old emotional "buttons" are re-triggered which sets off an "emotional storm" rooted in earlier negative relationship experiences of abuse, humiliation, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, etc. stored as negative memories in the subconscious ... Views: 23
Do you know that all relationship conflicts arise because of unconsciously held co-dependent patterns held by each partner? Do you know such patterns are rooted in early negative relationship experiences stored in the subconscious mind as negative memories or rejection, abuse, abandonment, ... Views: 7
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm a 70-yr old man who has been married more than forty years. I read your article "Autonomy and Dependency" I feel like I've been in a codependency relationship the last fifteen years and havedeveloped anxiety & depression. My wife is a ... Views: 22
I was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a box about work. The box ... Views: 29
Do you know that neediness hijacks the mind and causes one to make choices based on feelings of insecurity, fears of being abandoned or rejected, jealousy, etc.? Do you know this not only makes one feel and appear unattractive it also leaves them feeling out of control and unable to discern ... Views: 15
Do you know that feelings of jealousy are a) not a sign of how much you love someone b) make you a potentially controlling, needy, unattractive person and c) has the tendency to destroy your relationships?
Do you also know that these negative feelings were actually imprinted "into" you as a ... Views: 14
How would our country change if politicians had to learn to love themselves and others before taking office?
What if politicians had to be mentally evaluated before running for office? How many of them would pass as being emotionally stable and healthy?
What difference might it make ... Views: 20
Do you know that old negative emotional baggage is something you don't have to carry on your back for the rest of your life? Do you know it's rooted in subconsciously stored negative memories from the past that can be permanently deleted much like an outdated computer file?
Do you know this ... Views: 20
Do you know that early experiences of abandonment behave like a curse worse than death when one is trying to establish a successful and healthy relationship in their adult life? Do you know that the negative memories of abandonment remain stored deep in the subconscious mind and from there ... Views: 13
Do you know that many people sabotage their relationships because of a fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, fear of being rejected or abandoned, feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, and neediness just to name a few?
Do you know all this negativity is generated by old emotional baggage ... Views: 22
Dear Dr. Romance:My partner whom I have been in a relationship with for the past year has changed and let me down twice. We were first friends for several years & became a couple for the last year. We both fell in love instantly and desire to live together to build towards a good ... Views: 21
Do you know that narcissism involves an inordinate fascination with the self; excessive self-love, vanity, self absorption, self-centeredness, smugness and egocentrism? Do you also know that it is considered to be a normal condition of the infantile level of personality development?
Do you ... Views: 24
Do you know that the majority of individuals feel needy inside? Do you know that neediness makes them feel weak, inadequate, deficient, defective, vulnerable, manipulative, unattractive, depletes their self confidence, self esteem self worth, personal integrity, and sabotages their ability to ... Views: 28
Have you ever noticed how often you repeat the same negative patterns of behavior, find yourself attracting partners with the same negative qualities as in your past relationships, making the same kinds of mistakes or bad judgments, and continue to repeat the same self sabotaging habits? Have ... Views: 41
Do you know that your subconscious mind has a "mind" of its own that takes charge of your freewill leaving you enslaved to choices that are not entirely beneficial to you?
Do you know this is the result of a pre-programmed state generated by early memories that automatically condition you to ... Views: 27
It’s not uncommon to hear that women want to settle down and that men want to ‘play the field’. And based on this, women want to be in a relationship and men are not bothered about being in one.
This is how men and women are generally portrayed and in some cases, this is going to be true. ... Views: 44
Dr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or ... Views: 50
We are all in a time of high stress, and
national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not
dealt with, they can lead to acting out behavior,
such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money
problems as a distraction. To avoid ... Views: 27
Dear Dr. Romance:
My last romantic relationship (that I thought was mutual) ended because she said one day out of the blue, "I don't love you any more." I think she never really did, but rather I was her crutch after her lastbreakup. I loved her wholly, with all my ... Views: 33
Do you know that the fear of abandonment is a key factor in the demise of many relationships? Do you know that it can make individuals insecure, jealous, controlling, manipulative, needy, smothering, and that all of these inevitably cause the very thing they fear, abandonment? Do you know that ... Views: 31
Have you ever had the experience where you find yourself losing your identity or the sense of yourself once you get into a relationship? If you're not sure what I'm talking about here let me elaborate.
You start out having perspectives, preferences, opinions, desires and attitudes that you ... Views: 18
Self confidence is the ability to always know one's inner truth, value it, trust it, and live it joyfully, peacefully and with an inner knowing that one is worthy of it. Does this describe you? If not then whose life are you living? Certainly not yours! To get back on track I help you understand ... Views: 21
When one experiences pain and it is not possible for them to face the pain that they’re experiencing, they’re going to end up using a number of defence mechanisms. This could be due to how traumatising the experience is or because it would be too much for them to face how they feel.
A ... Views: 28
Just because one has the need to experience something, it doesn’t always mean that this need will be fulfilled. And this is something that can be said when it comes to ones need to connect to another person.
For some people, intimacy is going to be something that they have always ... Views: 30
Discover why any kind of engaging when someone is angry is a waste of energy.
"Rage can…shut off the hippocampus [linked to memory], and people with out-of-control anger may not be lying when they say they don't recall what they said or did in that altered state of ... Views: 23
Do you allow your natural kindness to shine forth?
"Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we ... Views: 20
You are correct if you say we communicate using words- partially though! We also employ voice tone, gestures and body language, emotional state, clothing, the physical location (aka time/place setting) we occupy, and more; this is, in addition to the words we use. Even the lack of communicating ... Views: 26
Do you know that positive self esteem is not something you have to earn or prove you deserve to have? Do you know that it's actually a natural part of you much like the color of your eyes? Do you know the reason you don't experience positive self esteem is because you have been subliminally ... Views: 35
Are you one of those people who still carry old emotional baggage that undermines your sense of adequacy in your relationships or career? Do you know that it is no longer necessary for you to remain at the mercy of this old outdated programming and that it can now be easily, effortlessly, ... Views: 24
Do you know that all needy behaviors have an underlying cause that can immediately and easily be discerned, unearthed and deleted from your life? Do you know that such behaviors are based in old negative memories from your past that are stored in your subconscious mind and which serve as ... Views: 31
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm really confused about a guy I know online from a social site, he's ten years older than I am. We've been in contact for several months. We now live in different countries. Recently, our chatting got intense and he told me that he likes me. ... Views: 39
Do you know that becoming a great leader rests on the ability to master one's internal emotional landscape? Do you know that greatness is manifest by individuals who are able to display courage, inner strength, integrity, high moral values, clarity of vision, empathy, understanding, self ... Views: 43
Do you know that the most significant killer of self confidence is subconsciously stored negative memories of past failures, mistakes, humiliations and losses? Do you know those memories act behind the scenes of your consciousness and are responsible for a barrage of negative beliefs and ... Views: 44
I was recently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, and remembering my dear friend who used to meet me there and who died not long ago. As I get older, I’m experiencing more and more loss, and so are my friends of a similar age. Those of us who survive loss still have to “keep calm ... Views: 60
When it comes to pleasing others, ideally, this will be a choice and not something one feels they have no control over. If one feels that they always need to please others, it is going to interfere with their ability to listen to their own needs and emotions.
And when one feels the need to ... Views: 69
In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusingwhere one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the ... Views: 70
Do you have the expectation that you will receive unconditional love from a partner?
Most of us would love the experience of being loved unconditionally by someone. This is the experience we needed when we were growing up, but most parents are not connected enough with themselves and ... Views: 24
What is the source of those common and hated feelings of neediness? Although many of us define ourselves by them are they really natural and normal human traits? What would it feel like not to be needy? Wouldn't you rather feel totally self confident and self sufficient? Is this possible? ... Views: 38
Do you walk around feeling inferior to others, small, insignificant, less than others, invisible, like you constantly need to prove yourself to others, offended by comments others make slighting you, inadequate, with low self confidence, low self esteem and so on? Want to get rid of your ... Views: 49
Do you know that negative thoughts emerge steadily like toxic fumes from the subconscious mind and pollute one's conscious mind? Do you know this flow undermines one's self confidence, self esteem, self worth, energy, strength, optimism, sense of adequacy, courage, ability to make clear and ... Views: 53
There is a genius to courageous loving because we have to access something we've forgotten and make it a real part of our lives again. It exists in each and every one of us yet it takes courage to access it. We can only access it when we become aware and we are ready for it.
I believe, we are ... Views: 55
Do you walk around experiencing self doubt about your decisions, your relationship choices, your business strategies, your friends and so on? Do you often wonder if you even know what it is you really stand for if anything? Does this make you feel like a leaf blowing in the proverbial wind, ... Views: 48
The concept of maintaining "healthy boundaries" has been a commonly used term in discussing relationships. Few however really understand what this means and fewer still know how to create them. This article hopes to shed some light on this confusion.
My view of healthy boundaries tends to ... Views: 39
Do you know that many individuals give away their power and integrity through automatic people pleasing behaviors? Do you know that you probably do it without even knowing that you do? Do you know this is one of the chief causes of low self esteem and low self worth?
Do you know this ... Views: 51
Have you ever felt moved while listening to a charismatic motivational speaker?
If you boil down to one factor what it was that moved you what would that be?
Well likely that the speaker was appealing to you as a human being, that is to your emotional heart. He/She likely awakened the ... Views: 41
In my view all phobias/fears are caused by early life trauma which remain "embedded" in an individual just like untreated parasites. Fears if public speaking are no different.
The "parasite" is in fact the imprint of the memory associated with the trauma. Such memories are multidimensional in ... Views: 41
Dear Dr. Romance:
I do not like my job, I have two more classes before I complete my masters in HR to move to a better position and recently passed the PHR certification. I was talking with my boyfriend about the environment at the company and how they are always threatening ... Views: 72
Anger is a common emotion experienced by individuals whose relationship has recently ended. Many would like to be able to dispense with such feelings but instead find themselves caught in the endless loop of having to fuel the anger by reminding themselves of the hurts, deceptions, lies, abuse ... Views: 40
Addictive relationships are characterized by an inability to let go of a partner who is abusive because doing so leads to strong feelings of need and/or insecurity that cannot be tolerated. There are three important things one must do in order to free themselves from an addictive ... Views: 31