Look deeply into your relationship. Is it the kind that you would want for your kids when they receive adulthood? This question gets asked of my new clients frequently. They looked puzzled at first then expressions
of shame and guilt spawn across their faces. As you might imagine, their ... Views: 0
A prior radio show episode centered on breaking through down fantasies, then jumping at the realities of moving in together. In a nut shell, most people begin wildly in love, constantly desiring one another; life is easy and flowing along. The next step of course is to move in with one ... Views: 1
For me, one of the saddest things to see is a relationship between two people who previously professed their deep love for one another now entering its final stage of dissolution. The divorce rate in this country is tragically high. When I was young and naive I believed that all you needed for a ... Views: 14
Dear Dr. Romance:
Thanks for sharing the great article "A Good Cry" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a question about it: "....If you're trying to help someone cope with a loss, don't try to make the bereaved person feel better. It just ... Views: 27
When you feel beset in your life, and people close to you seem to be difficult and uncooperative, consider that they may be reflecting back to you the behavior your own anxiety is creating toward them. Learning to let go of your obsessively trying to control others can free you to receive ... Views: 28
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have read several of your comments in articles on the dadsdivorce.com website concerning when to introduce a new girlfriend to your children. I have a unique situation. I have been divorced for over a year two teenage boys. A few months ago a woman I met long ... Views: 25
Breaking up with someone who means a lot to you is hard to do. But you might have been given no option. Whether you are on the receiving end of being dumped or whether you caught your partner out with someone else, heartbreak sucks.
It can be very difficult to get over the pain of losing ... Views: 50
Creating a lasting loving relationship requires that you are clear in your mind of what that looks like. You have the power to create the exact relationship you desire if you do the right things to make it happen.
The 5 Strategies for Creating a Lasting Relationship will help you move in the ... Views: 28
What is the secret of relationship happiness be in an intimidate relationship between a couple?
Both you and your partner need to be happy in yourself independent of each other. While the wish is that your partner will make you feel great about yourself, or on a long-term basis, the truth is, ... Views: 18
With the holidays approaching, you may be looking for the perfect gift to give all of the important people in your life. But while shopping for your spouse or your children might be easy because they’ve been dropping hints for the last six months, it might be much more difficult for you to find ... Views: 13
This is the sort of question that people will instinctively answer yes to, without really taking a moment to consider the real implication of what the question is asking, and why it is particularly important to any notion of personal development or self growth. At some level people think of ... Views: 33
Dear Dr. Romance,
I've been in a relationship for 6 1/2 years with a man I can see myself marrying and growing old. The first 4 years we were on our long distance relationship because I was in college in another state. We then lived together for a year to realize we could ... Views: 40
“Our eyes are not viewers; they are also projectors that are running a second story over the picture that we see in front of us all the time. Fear is writing that script. Now fear is going to be a player in your life. You get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, ... Views: 35
God wants to help you keep your word.
Bible Numbers 30:2 Around 1300 years before the birth of Jesus the leaders of the Israelite tribes were gathered before Moses prior to entering the promised land. Moses reminded the tribe leaders that God had kept his word and they were about to enter the ... Views: 31
SENSUALITY! Do you have an idea of what sensuality entails, or what it means? Everyone has that smirk on their face, contemplating their last sexually fulfilled experience.
Wait, that may be partially true. However, are you sensual outside of the sexual realm? Are you confusion now?
Yes, ... Views: 36
What happen to those days where you would bat those luscious eyes or lick your lips just to grab his attention? Gentlemen, what about you? When was the last time you wrote that little love note expressing your deepest feelings for her? Perhaps even bought the little gift or flowers to show her ... Views: 22
For the most part, I don't associate with people who difficult to get along with. Being a sole entrepreneur, I am not subjected to dealing with obnoxious coworkers, irate customers or demanding bosses (although I am tough to work for but fortunately I get along very well with myself). Socially, ... Views: 21
It’s one thing to know our own strengths and weaknesses in business. It is also important to know the same about your competitors.
Unfortunately, many entrepreneurs don’t take the time to find out about their competitors until it is too late. Knowing your competitors’ strengths and weaknesses ... Views: 34
I have owned and operated my business for nearly 15 years. Although the reasons for being in business have remained consistent, the method in running and building my business has drastically changed. The greatest change came with the onslaught of the Internet. Another huge change came with 9/11. ... Views: 21
While human beings need to experience intimacy, it doesn’t mean that this always take place. In fact, one might be in a position where it is not part of their life and never has been.
This means that some people are used to experiencing intimacy and this is ‘normal’, and others are not used ... Views: 41
Here’s a wonderful poem on friendship I came across, written by David Leonhardt.
Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paint
Is who you are and who you ain't.
Friendship is life's great support
When friends are of the right sort.
For all your dreams do they make room,
Or bring you ... Views: 22
I've been on a quest for over a month now. I’ve been purposely carrying several big bags with me each day.
Delightfully, men were leaping and reaching for doors, holding doors and offering to help me with my multiple bags! They were all so nice, attentive and helpful!
I practiced ... Views: 41
Dear Dr. Romance:
I wonder if you have an article that you've written that you can point me too on how to let go of a toxic relationship. I've been involved for 7 months with a man who is continually evasive, avoidant-attachment, manipulative and I need to figure out ... Views: 29
Many years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it
by Edwin Markham
He drew a circle that shut me out
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a ... Views: 47
Dr. Romance wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving!
A lot of people aren’t very good at looking at the positive. I hear a lot of negativity, blaming and complaining daily in my counseling office, and I find the more negative people are, the worse their lives work. Talking about how bad it all is seems ... Views: 35
Over the years, many points of view have been put forward as to what causes one person to be attracted to another. These have come from scientists, relationship experts and everyone in between.
And while some of these views can sound accurate and as though they reflect reality, it doesn’t ... Views: 59
Teenage is a beautiful stage of life where adolescents learn the hard and sweet lessons of life. It is that part of life when they learn the basic lessons of being responsible, being respectable and how to turn into an adult slowly and gradually. It is almost like the second last part of a ... Views: 35
While there have always been people who have had affairs, it is probably easier than ever before to have one. This is because of modern-day technology and how the internet has given people the chance to find someone without even leaving their home.
One can then use their phone to keep in ... Views: 49
Do you find yourself resisting or procrastinating taking loving care of yourself?
Of course you want to be healthy and fit! Who doesn't? But are you always motivated and willing to do what you need to do to create health and fitness?
Are you motivated to:
Regularly do the workout or ... Views: 63
Discover when compromise is healthy and when it's self-abandoning.
Compromise! What does this word conjure up for you? Is it is a positive or negative word for you? Does it bring up a sense of loving resolution, or a sense of losing yourself and losing your integrity?
When you think about ... Views: 28
Richard and I just indulged in our favorite December traditionwe watched our favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge! the musical starring Albert Finney) which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year.
No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, ... Views: 54
As a counselor, I get a lot of clients who are worried about intimacy and sex. Romance books are a lovely escape from reality, and can help reduce your stress from daily frustrations. And, you can even learn a few tricks to enhance your relationship. The danger comes in if you ... Views: 61
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am writing this letter to you because I really want to know what is the right love to last a lifetime? I am frustrated right now. How couples especially married, last love into lifetime? I am in love with someone, but I don't know if that person feels the ... Views: 52
While one can have the desire to attract someone who is available, it doesn’t mean that this is what takes place. One could find it more or less impossible for attract someone who is available.
When someone is available, it is going to mean that they are not only physically and ... Views: 72
There is nothing louder than the silent treatment; nothing more uncomfortable, or abusive (other than physical abuse). The silent treatment is an attack on your psyche—a withdrawal of approval and affection—a form of punishment in an attempt to control you into doing what he/she wants you to do. ... Views: 39
Healing the Pain Body
1. How Our Pain, Fear and Defensiveness Surfaces
The “Law Of Attraction”
As pointed out by Michael Losier and Esther Hicks, both teachers of, “The Law Of Attraction,” we attract what we vibrate at the level of our emotional bodies, not necessarily what we think or ... Views: 91
If you tend to struggle with codependency characteristics, you may already understand that it can sure be sneaky at times. Just when you think you’re doing well, some circumstance or person will pop up in your life and test you to the max. When you think you’re over people pleasing, there you ... Views: 59
Dr. Romance writes:
If you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple.
*If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the ... Views: 64
I have been called nice – a lot – frequently. I know people mean well, but nice can be…er, well…nice. It is so fluffy, so sweet, so damning with faint praise. There is no bite in nice – and that is precisely the point. Nice is toothless and gummy. It leaves no marks.
Nice lacks gravitas. ... Views: 38
It is said that it is not possible for someone to be abandoned as an adult, and how this would only apply if they were a baby or a child. However, just because one is an adult it doesn’t mean that they will no longer feel abandoned.
The fear of being abandoned and the feeling itself could ... Views: 53
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a 51 year old divorced Mom who recently began seeing someone. I like him and want to pursue this relationship, but I don't want to keep making the same mistakes! Some people say "be yourself" other say "don't do too much too soon, keep ... Views: 81
Do you sometimes feel trapped with some who wants to be listened to but doesn't want to listen to you?
One of the common complaints I hear from my clients is that they listen well but they end up just listening and never being heard.
This is the ... Views: 49
Your spiritual guidance is always here for you, but you need to know how to access it. Connecting with Spirit is simple, but not always easy.
What if you knew that you are never alone - that you are always being guided by a personal source of ... Views: 38
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am currently reading your book, The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman can Make Before 40 and absolutely loving it. I have been married for a year and four months and we are going through a really tough time right now. I have suggested counseling and my husband ... Views: 86
Dear Dr. Romance:
My husband/best friend crossed-over a few years ago and I still miss him terribly. I think of him every day and his essence is is always with me. I am still in love with him and cannot imagine having a relationship with another man. At this time, however, I have ... Views: 94
Despite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I’m grateful. It wasn’t always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a ... Views: 80
Five Realizations of Good Relationships
“Life is not happening to you. It is responding to you.” ~Author Unknown.
In order to create good relationships, correct bad ones or continue good ones, there are a five things, that when realized, can help set up more ... Views: 77
One could be with someone and believe that they are the one, and in the next moment it could all be over. They could also be with someone who doesn’t have the same effect and then before long, this person is no longer part of their life.
How close one feels to another person won’t ... Views: 83
TIT 4 TAT: The Basic Backdrop of Life.
By Bill Cottringer
“Reputation is not of enough value to sacrifice character for it.” Miss Clark.
All of life, upon due reflection, seems to be a variation of one very basic rule commonly known as—Tit for Tat (literally blow for blow). This a ... Views: 118
Whether you asked someone or accepted the date, nerves can be a major hinderance when it comes to being relaxed and enjoying yourself. There are a few things your can do to calm down, to put your best foot forward and to actually enjoy the date.
Do something you enjoy prior to your date
Go ... Views: 68