Dear Dr. Romance:
I have a family member with two failed marriages, after she asked for my advice I suggested a spousal abuse counselor for therapy. She didn't receive counseling and went on to a second failed marriage. This time even worse than the first. She doesn't understand the ... Views: 8
Dear Dr. Romance:
Q: My father died 1 1/2 years ago.My mom always snaps at me and my older brother and I think she has a serious problem. I personally think it's a power struggle because she fells like she is loosing control over my brother and I. But, what she ... Views: 12
Recently, clients have been coming in to Dr. Romance's office with questions about their cell phone use: either it is creating a problem in their relationship, or with getting work done, or even health problems. Here's how to tell if you have cell phone addiction; and what ... Views: 11
Dear Dr. Romance
A question for you: I have a female friend that I dated for 7 months - she dumped me - and is, I think, dating some other guy.
The question is: I have tried to ask her for 5 or 6 different events - and have gotten turned down for each one - with some excuse - the excuse sounds ... Views: 13
Are you addicted to trying to get love from unavailable, unloving people?
Have you found yourself repeatedly 'falling in love' with an unavailable person? Have you wondered why you keep doing this?
This is the question Wanda asked:
"What about our wounded self causes us to attach so ... Views: 16
You've met someone that you believe is your twin soul and it feels like your whole world’s changed. You feel this incredible love and desire to be with them which is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. It feels like you’ve known them all your life, even if you’ve just met and you can’t ... Views: 16
Modern day technology has not only had an impact on how relationships begin, it has also had an impact on how they end. In the past, one would have met someone in person and then it would have been possible for them to develop a relationship or something more casual.
Nowadays, the first step ... Views: 21
On one side, human beings have the ability to talk, and on the other, they have the ability to listen. And as they have two ears and only one mouth, it could be said that it is a lot easier for them to listen.
However, even though it is easier for someone to listen, it doesn’t mean that this ... Views: 23
If one was to think about someone they appreciate, there is a strong chance that they will end up feeling ‘good’. Yet, if they were to think about someone who presses their buttons, for instance, they are unlikely to have the same emotional experience.
And when they feel good, there is not ... Views: 23
As a man, one of the hardest things to do is to get over a girl who has cheated on you. Remember that she was the one who cheated on you and dumped you for somebody else.
It hurts your ego to a great extent.
Some guys call and text their exes in such a way to make them regret about their ... Views: 35
You surely don’t want to end up looking and feeling unattractive, especially when you want a stable relationship with a woman. It is profoundly significant to know what is it exactly that a woman notices in a man when she is meeting him for the first time. Of course, the first impression may not ... Views: 45
There are going to be times in one’s life when they meet someone for the first time, and how they greet them is likely have a big impact on what happens after they have met. This is because the other person’s first impressions are going to be heavily influenced by what takes place during this ... Views: 38
Have you found yourself in relationships where you feel empathy for your partner but your partner lacks empathy for you?
Were you born with the ability to feel others' feelings? I was, and one of the issues that I had to face was that not everyone is empathic.
This was very confusing to ... Views: 33
There are going to be moments when someone feels happy and moments when they don’t, and while they may prefer to be happy all the time, this is not going to be possible. When it comes to the people someone spends their time around, they may also find it easier to be around them when they are ... Views: 45
Q & A with a Dr. Romance reader:
Q: I would like your advice and input. I have been working in business for 12 years as a CPA and have recently been quite frustrated with it. Recently I did some career/interests/aptitude testing and found that the work I do now is pretty much what I ... Views: 46
Dear Dr. Romance:
I work at an Indian health clinic in northern California. I am a substance abuse counselor, or Certified Addiction Treatment Counselor . After scanning a book I found on a colleague's bookshelf called The Real Thirteenth Step I felt compelled to seek it out, and I ... Views: 34
The revered Sufi poet, Rumi, wrote:
“We turn poison into medicine and our sorrows into blessings”
I’m thankful for many things. I live a wonderful life, surrounded by loving friends and my beloved husband, Richard; I have the privilege of doing ... Views: 45
If someone loves you then they do. If they don’t then they don’t. That’s it.
However, it is utterly painful to forget someone who doesn’t love you.
It’s hard to see that your LOVE is not returning the feelings to you. I was in the same situation. I felt a lot for her but she always ... Views: 40
While some people can let go of a relationship once it is over, there are others who are unable to do so. When someone is able let go, it will be possible for them to move on and to embrace the present moment.
However, if they are unable to do this, it is not going to be possible for them to ... Views: 66
We all need a minimum sense of safety and security to relax and get on with our life, whatever we are doing. That level will vary from person to person but the need is universal.
The following story is typical and scenarios similar to this get played out in many relationships.
Michael ... Views: 75
Are you addicted to fixing others? Do you believe this is loving rather than controlling?
Many of us were raised to base our identity on helping or fixing others. Fixing others is often the addiction of choice for people who have a naturally deep level of empathy and who easily feel ... Views: 65
Dr. Romance writes:
Many of my clients have come in complaining of a lack of motivation; from not being motivated enough on the job, to not being able to diet, quit smoking, or get out of bed in the morning. They desire to achieve both positive and negative motivations — positive motivations ... Views: 70
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have a problem. My mother has introduced me to a male co-worker at her work. We have been friends for a month. My problem is that I am afraid that this relationship may become serious. The gentleman that she introduced me to is real nice, but my stepfather was the same way ... Views: 55
One of the most powerful ways I found to stop being a doormat in relationships was to learn emotional self-control. When you’re too reactive to your partner, he or she can easily draw you into a fight that stops you both from focusing on fixing the problem.
Self-control is not easy. In ... Views: 57
When you expect to get the love you didn’t get as a child from your partner, you are stuck in the pattern of hope and struggle that you cannot win. This is a pattern that is created in childhood that seeps into our relationships (as most patterns do). The pattern comes about because the love we ... Views: 73
No matter what someone looks like or where they have come from, they will have experienced rejection. What this comes down to is that it is part of life and this is because it is not possible for one to always be accepted.
And if one was to look back on their life, they would also realise ... Views: 72
So you loved someone from the bottom of your heart, but he didn’t care about it.
Or maybe you just got a devastating breakup. Either situation sucks, doesn’t it?
However, do you know that it isn’t end of the world? There is a high possibility that you will find someone better than that ... Views: 74
Dear Dr. Romance :
I'm a 5'4" 34yr old male. I've searched online dating sites for a few years now and read thousands of women's profiles. In doing so, I recognized a peculiar trend in women's descriptions of their ideal mate. It's exhilarating to read ... Views: 85
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am having issues with my boyfriend. I was searching something on WebMD and found an article that spoke of your book How to Be a Couple and Still be Free. I started doing some research on you and your other books (It Ends With You, How To Be A Couple and Still Be Free, ... Views: 70
There is a hidden source of power or pain that often goes unaddressed by many individuals. Truth is expectations can have a far-reaching impact on how people live their lives and the goodies they reap along the way. Expectations are assumptions about the future – what will occur or what should ... Views: 64
"The magic moment is the moment when a 'YES' or a 'NO' can change our whole existence." Paul Coelho
Happy Summer! Over the next few months, we’ll have a golden opportunity for some potentially life-changing healing and growth as Love Planet Venus retrogrades over ... Views: 70
It is now easier than ever before for people to stay in contact with each other, and this can happen through words being exchanged on a screen or through a conversation taking place with a camera. The only piece of equipment someone needs, in order for this to occur, is a Smartphone.
For ... Views: 77
Discover the things you might need to change in yourself in order to have a chance at creating change in your partner and in your relationship.
How much energy do you spend trying to get what you want from your partner? Think about it for a moment - ... Views: 72
Do you really see your children? If you operate from core shame and cannot see the beauty of your own essence, your children will not feel seen by you. Yet they need to be seen by you to truly value themselves.
One of the things I loved doing as a ... Views: 62
When someone spends their time around people who have an open-heart, they are likely to appreciate being around them. Whereas, if they were to spend their time around people who were the complete opposite; there is the chance that they will feel uncomfortable.
This is because when people ... Views: 90
While it could be said that there are some people who are highly curious, it could also be said that there are others who are the complete opposite. This is not to say that this is something that is black and white; as there are going to be people who fall into the middle of the spectrum.
... Views: 112
Is there a difference between loving yourself and loving others, or are they one and the same?
Have you ever been confused about the boundary between loving yourself and also being loving to others?
This is what Rosanna is struggling with. She ... Views: 115
Dr. Romance writes: I was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a ... Views: 133
In 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when ... Views: 137
When I think about cheating in relationships, a wide range of scenarios ranging from the woman who confides her deepest desires and fears to her coworker instead of her husband, to the highly sexed “player” that will bed any woman who spreads her legs for him, come to mind. There’s emotional ... Views: 114
Even though one can have the need to be in a relationship with someone who is available, it doesn’t mean that this takes place. Instead, they can end up attracting people who unable to be there for them.
If this was something that they could overlook it wouldn’t matter, but as this is not ... Views: 134
If a woman has been with men who have cheated, she might come to the conclusion that all men are the same. And if a man has been with a number of women who have cheated, he could also come to the same conclusion.
As a result of what they have been through, it would be normal for them to say ... Views: 127
As I was swimming last week, a young couple came into the pool. Instead of doing laps or walking, like most of the gym members, they were just enjoying themselves. He started splashing her, and she said “Joey, stop it!” but she said it in a placating, whiney voice. He just kept ... Views: 134
Dear Dr. Romance:
I was browsing the net and came across one of your articles "No Strings Attached Sex" which I found very interesting as it relates to a situation I am facing currently.
I am a young male and I cannot handle having sex for a while with a person ... Views: 131
What happens in your relationships when you try to get your point across to someone who isn't open to your point of view?
One of the situations that often creates relationship conflict is when you become devoted to getting your point across.
Most ... Views: 121
Dating is no longer, what it used to be. You also have to realize that your boyfriend or girlfriend had his or her own friends’ priority to meeting you. Dating is about learning and exploring the possibilities that exist in a relationship and figuring out if the relationship can move to the next ... Views: 127
1. Stop asking “Where do we stand?”
This question lets me know that the terms of our relationship are up to my own standards.
2. Stop being so predictable!
I don’t need to know your every move. Besides you’re not my wife yet.
3. Respect my time and privacy.
Don’t assume I will always ... Views: 137
In my counseling office, I frequently deal with people who’ve heard the dread phrase, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” How can it happen that a couple who were once thrilled with each other can fall out of love? It seems like a mystery, but it’s not. And, ... Views: 153
Dr. Romance writes:
Telling a guy you won't stand for cheating is a waste of time. Instead, be open and accepting, and encourage him to talk about his sexual exploits. If he's cheated before, he probably will cheat again. The best protection against cheating is to have open and frank ... Views: 128