Even knowing your husband had an affair, you are still not prepared to throw in the towel regarding the marital relationship. For better or worse your feelings for him are still strong.
However there is certainly an obstacle when it comes to repairing the marriage relationship. Their infidelity shattered the actual trust which had been developed all of these years. It was also a moment of demoralizing embarrassment after you came to the realization your two timing husband made a fool of you.
Sure your mate declared he was sorry and also pleaded over and over for you to forgive him. They may have also made the effort to heal the particular damage by getting therapy as well as trying to be clear and truthful with you.
It has become evident from everything you carefully observed that he truly is attempting to make the situation better. He accepts that there is absolutely no way to change what happened but your husband really does loves you and has no desire to see this marriage end.
However the truth is your husband committed adultery and at this moment you aren't willing to forgive him nor do you have any idea exactly when that time will come. Yes your feelings for your husband are intense but that does not mean you are ready to accept his apology.
Angry feelings along with the pain and humiliation he put you through are still clear in your mind. Every time you are trying to move past it something springs up to remind you all over again. In addition the thought dawns on you that your husband may take your forgiveness as a sign of approval. It may not be but you have no assurance to the contrary.
If you aren't prepared to extend forgiveness towards your cheating husband then perhaps you can begin by simply recognizing what happened. Accept the emotions you have. Hurt, doubt and also rage are all part of this process. Try not to run from these emotions otherwise you may never forgive your husband.
Instead accept them along with understanding this marriage will never be the same again. Once an extramarital affair takes place there is absolutely no putting the genie back in the bottle. Every element of your marriage is changed permanently.
Understand there is no actual moment in time when the doubt and pain disappears forever. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. It may be years later after your mate and you have done very well in restoring the marriage and out of left field you think about what your husband did. Before you know it some negative feelings return. That is life. Once you accept that you can manage these thoughts a whole lot better.
The reality is your mate was unfaithful. Acceptance does not condone this. But what it can do is slowly but surely clear the path so that you can forgive and begin your healing.
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